Chapter 1: The Meeting
Chapter Text
<Stolas to Blitzo> 8/14 1:42pm: I need to discuss something very important with you regarding our arrangement. I will be coming over to your office in about 15 minutes. Have my grimoire ready for me:
“Crap Crap CRAP!!! I’m supposed to see him tonight! What could he possibly need to talk about that it can’t wait?! We have a good thing running… right? Is he mad at me for something? Is it because we haven’t fucked for a while?? Is it about the whole Striker thing? Is that it?? Gasp!! What if he wants to take the book back permanently!!” Blitz muttered to himself loudly while pacing the room in a panic.
“Well sir, maybe he just needs the book back for a little while.” Moxxie tried calming his boss down. “I mean it is his. Maybe he needs it back for some royalty stuff.”
“Nah, fatty, it’s definitely because he’s grown bored." Loona said not even looking up from her phone.
“Gah!! I knew it! He’s definitely mad were not fucking… I know! Maybe if I give him a good time once he arrives, he will forget all about this whole thing.” Blitz reassured himself. "First, I’ll do that thing he likes with my tongue and then I’ll use the stapler to…”
“SIR PLEEEAASE! We do not want to know the details of your sex life.”
“Excuse me, Blitz?” Everyone turned to Blitz’s office to see the Goetia prince standing in the doorway.
“Stolas…hey buddy. How’s it hanging?” Blitz tried sweet talking. Trying to hide how nervous he was.
“Can we talk? In private, please?” Stolas said, turning to go back into the office, not wanting to waste any time beating it around the bush.
“Uhm, sure… right.” The mottled imp grabbed the grimoire from Loona’s desk. (Well... might as well get it over with.)
*****
Once he made sure the door was locked, he turned to the owl demon, who was standing next to the office window. Briefly, the imp noticed the small box sitting on top of his desk.
“So, what can I do for you that it can’t wait til tonight?” the imp asked nervously.
“Do you have my grimoire” Stolas asked, holding out his hand expectingly.
“Uh… yeah, sure... right here” the mottled imp replied, holding up the large book. “Why, uh, why do you ask?”
“I will need it back… for a while longer than usual.” Hearing this, the imp held the book tighter to himself.
“Stolas wait… please… I need the book. If you aren’t happy with anything I can change. I can… fuck you more often? How about… once a week… instead of every full moon? How does that sound?”
Blitz finally looked up at the prince to give him what he could describe as his award-winning puppy dog eyes, knowing full well that Stolas never could say no to that face… then again, he rarely said no to anything Blitz asked of him. It was then that he saw the taller demon had a sad smile on his face.
“Blitz, darling, although I would like to spend more time with you, this is not going to be a permanent thing. I apologize that I wasn’t able to inform you sooner, I was busy making preparations”. (Preparations for what? He got some strange sex fantasy he needs to set up or something?).
“There is a rare lunar event known as a super blue blood moon that is happening tonight. I am needed to perform my Goetia duties during the event,” the Goetia explained. “I, uh… will need my grimoire for it. Also, as this is a very important event, I, ahem, must cancel our full moon meetup tonight.”
“Oh…is that all?... I guess that’s fine then” (phew… that’s a relief). Blitz reluctantly handed back the book.
“Thank you, Blitz."
“So, how long are we talking about? Like two days? Three?”
“A few weeks at best, a month at most… hopefully.”
“A month??… a whole fucking month??? Stolas I can’t go that long without the book. I have a business to run, people to kill…”
“I am well aware of that.” He cut off the smaller demon. “Which is why I brought you this.” Stolas picked up the box and gave it to the imp. It looked like a regular box, other than the emblem printed on top.
“Is this from Asmodeus? How the hell is a sex toy making it up to me???” The imp was starting to lose his temper with the pervy owl.
“It’s not a sex toy. Here see,” Stolas took the box and opened it, revealing an amber crystal in it. Taking it out of the box, he gently put it in his favorite imp’s hand.
“This is an Asmodean crystal. You will be under his jurisdiction while you have it, but you will be able to travel to the human world and back with no trouble at all. All without my grimoire.” Stolas explained. The imp looked at the stone in his hand then back to the owl. There has to be something more to this, right?
“There is just but one little thing I ask of you, Blitz”
Ah yes. There it is. He knew just what the owl wanted. “Let me guess? You want me to fuck your birdbrains out here, in my office? Am I right?”
“What! … no Blitz.”
“You’re my sexy secretary and I’m the super strict boss amiright?” Clearly the imp chose to ignore the taller demon. He could see the blush appear on the owl’s face. If he wanted to play hard to get, then let him.
“Blitz…”
Blitz knocked the stuff on his desk off. He heard something break but he could fix it later. That was what glue was for.
“It’s sir. Someone’s been a baaad boy. Maybe I should punish you right here, on my...” The imp started talking in his most sexy voice that he knew could rile up Stolas.
“Blitz!!!” that got the imp to stop. Stolas rarely used that tone on him. “Stop. Just… please stop…this isn’t about sex. It’s something far more important than that”.
“Oh…ok…so then what is it? You need me to kill someone for you or something?” Stolas shook his head before pulling out a small piece of paper from his pocket, handing it to the assassin.
“This is my daughter, Octavia’s, phone number.” Blitz looked at the number, written in Stolas’ neat handwriting before looking back up to the owl. Stolas loved his daughter more than anything, this must be serious... “I want you to promise me that, should she be in any kind of trouble, that you and your colleagues will help her. I ask this as a favor from one father to another. Please…should anything happen that you will keep her safe.”
Oh, shit… this was serious. It dawned on the imp that Stolas has been calling him by his name for the entire time he’s been here, never once calling him Blitzy. Now he was concerned.
“Stolas… what’s going on? Why are you talking like you're dying?”
The Goetia sighed, turning toward the dirty window in his office “This ritual, it’s… complex and very dangerous. One small mistake and I could…” he trailed off. “Anyway, I can’t protect my daughter or myself during this time. I do not expect you to protect me, Blitz. But after what happened with that Striker fellow … I just want to make sure that she will be safe. So please…promise me you will watch out and protect her.”
The imp winced at that. He wouldn’t admit it but seeing what happened to the Goetia prince after he was kidnapped... just thinking about it always made him feel uneasy. Stolas had asked him to save him, and he failed. If Moxxie and Millie hadn’t arrived, Stolas probably wouldn’t be here now.
“Stolas…”
“Promise Me”
“Okay, okay. I promise. I will protect Via.” The assassin promised.
Stolas sighed in relief, giving the imp a grateful smile. “Thank you.”
“But why me Stolas? Why not your bodyguards you have around the palace?”
“Blitz, there are very few that I would trust when it comes to my child. I know if anyone is to keep her safe, it’s you.” Blitz could only look up at the owl as Stolas touched his cheek fondly.
“… I should be going. I need to finish preparing for tonight’s ritual. I'll contact you as soon as I'm able to.” Stolas turned around, facing the door to open a portal back to his palace. Before he stepped in, he turned around to look at the imp one last time.
“Goodbye, Blitz” he said before walking through the portal. Blitz snapped out of his trance as he heard the owl demon say his farewell.
“Stolas, wait...”
He ran to catch the retreating demon, but it was too late.
BAM
The portal disappeared, leaving him to crash into his door, causing it to fall off its hinges and landing on poor Moxxie. Blitz glanced around, ignoring how the girls gave him a weird look or Moxxie’s feeble struggles to get the door and his boss off him.
“What…the FUCK?”
Chapter 2: The Ritual
Notes:
Warning: contains blood, and ritualistic self-harm.
Chapter Text
It was nearly time. Stolas had been preparing for most of the day to make sure everything was perfect. He had triple checked his work earlier to make sure he had done everything correctly. One couldn’t afford any mistakes with this ritual, doing so would lead to bad outcomes.
BUZZ…BUZZ…BUZZ
Stolas turned to look at his phone sitting on top of his bedroom dresser. He didn’t bother going over to check it. He knew that it was his favorite assassin. He had been trying to reach the owl for several hours now, but Stolas ignored all of Blitz’s attempts to reach him.
He had been giving the imp space after their failed date at Ozzie’s. Hoping, praying, that Blitz would realize his genuine feelings for him. He thought that things were getting better for the two of them after their time in L.A., but after he was kidnapped and hospitalized, he finally understood that Blitz only wanted him for one thing: his grimoire.
Once he was well enough, he contacted Asmodeus about getting I.M.P. a crystal so they could travel to the human world without him. He was hoping to give it to his red and white imp during this month’s full moon meeting, talk about ending their arrangement and hopefully starting a genuine relationship. That was until he found out he was expected to perform the super blue blood moon ritual. He will just have to wait until the next time he sees the imp to talk to him.
PING... PING...PING...PING
Blitz was trying to do it again, with text messages this time. And once again, Stolas ignored him. He had more important things to do.
He looked in the mirror at himself. He was neatly groomed, just coming out of a bath and preened to perfection. The only thing he was wearing was a bandage on his left arm from when he was injured. It hasn’t fully healed since Striker stabbed him repeatedly with a blessed blade, but it was slowly healing at least. He took off the bandage. It was a rather nasty looking wound, that still hurt a bit, but he didn’t think it would hinder him tonight.
After changing into a simple yet elegant purple robe and with grimoire in hand, Stolas walked to Octavia’s room. She was sitting at her bedroom desk, working on a taxidermy project. From the looks of it, it was a porcupine on a motorcycle.
Stolas really didn’t want his daughter to be here for this. He tried convincing her to go stay with her friends, or go to a camp. He even suggested she stay with her mom in her uncle’s mansion (yes, he was that desperate) until everything was complete. Both female Goetia refused this request. For Stella, because she wanted to make Stolas as miserable as possible. For Via, it was wanting to stay with her dad for when he needed her.
Eventually he relented when Vassago convinced him that this would be a good learning experience for her about the dangers of prophesizing (as if she already didn’t know), that he would only allow her to help check the outer wards as well as aid in his recovery once the ritual was over, and that he would not let her be witness to anything that Stolas had not approve of.
Stolas stood by the doorway for a moment, before knocking on her door to get her attention. “My Starfire” Via looked up from her work. “It’s time” Via went up to embrace her father.
“Do you really have to do this dad?” she asked. Stolas smiled down at his daughter, petting her feathers at the top of her head while looking into those big pink eyes.
“Unfortunately, I do. I promise that once this is all over, I’m taking you out for a shopping spree to Stylish Occult.” He tried comforting his daughter. “Now remember. Do not come near the observatory by yourself until the ritual is done. And how will you know that it is done?” He quizzed his daughter.
“The candle that you put on the kitchen table. It will stay alight with a blue flame until the ritual is over. If it starts to go out that means that it is ending.”
“Correct. And will you be able to enter the observatory at all until then?”
“No.” Via answered correctly again. “It will be sealed with a magic ward until it is complete. Also, no one is allowed to come to the palace unless it’s me, Vassago, or your boyfriend and his crew. But only if it’s an emergency.”
“That’s right, my Starfire… although… Blitzy isn’t technically my boyfriend…” Stolas smiled down at his daughter.
“Stolas,” came a voice from behind him. He turned to see Vassago. “It’s time.”
Turning back to his daughter, he gave her one final hug. “I know you are worried my dear, but it will be ok. You will be ok. I will see you as soon as I am done.” He then turned to the parrot demon and started making his way up to the observatory.
*****
“You know what to do?” Stolas asked his fellow Goetia. Vassago nodded.
“I’ve checked the wards. They are at their fullest strength. I will not interfere with the ritual unless the wards weaken, or until the next full moon should you still be continuing it.” Stolas nodded approvingly.
“And Via?”
“I will teach her to study the wards outside the observatory and a few techniques to help aid you in your recovery afterwords. I will not allow her to witness anything that you haven’t approved of.”
“Stella?”
“She and her brother are not permitted anywhere near the premises until this is all over.”
“Excellent. And…Blitz?”
“You’ve given Via his number and have shown me what he looks like as well as his colleagues. Should they be needed, we will contact them.”
“Thank you Vassago” the owl smiled gratefully to his friend.
“You do not have to thank me. As your keeper and friend, it is my duty to ensure that I do all I can to aid you in this.”
They continued their journey in silence until they reached the observatory at the other end of the palace.
*****
The round room was cleared out of all furnishings except for everything that he would need for tonight. The hardwood floor was marked with chalk drawn in a web-like pattern with runes scattered all over. Thick white candles carefully placed around the corners of the web, their soft flames giving an ominous glow. Wards of various designs were drawn over the walls, both inside and outside the room, just as a precaution should anything go wrong. The roof was made with impenetrable glass, showing a clear view of the sky overhead. Several large moonstones were placed around the room in designated areas. In the center, an ornate box held the most important items that he would need for tonight.
Closing the door, the two bird demons headed for the center of the room. Opening the box, Stolas took out a large crystal ball made with the purest quartz and a simple yet sturdy wooden stand. He placed these in the center right in front of him. Then, he pulled out the next items in the box: two small pewter bowls the size of his palm and two small knives made of pure silver. He handed the other Goetia one of each.
Stolas removed his robe. He wouldn’t be needing it anymore tonight. Using the knife, he sliced his right wrist, letting the blood pour into the bowl. Handing both items back, the parrot dipped his fingers into the bowl and drew a seal on the owl’s stomach. Wiping his fingers clean, he placed the used tools back in the box, before grabbing the other set.
Vassago sliced both wrists open, holding them over the pewter bowl until he was satisfied with the amount of blood in the bowl. Placing the blade down, he turned toward the owl kneeling before him. He used his own blood to draw different glyphs all over the naked owl’s body. His blood would not only help Stolas give a little boost in magic to get the desired effects of tonight’s ritual but would allow him to interfere should he need to.
After Stolas was completely marked with the glyphs, Vassago handed the owl the final item in the box, an 11-inch, ornate dagger. The blade was made from orichalcum, runes engraved in the legendary metal. The sheath and the handle were made of obsidian with golden stars all over.
Vassago collected the robe, bowls and knives, placing them in the box, before carefully making his way back toward the door. Before exiting he paused by the door and turned back to the owl.
“Good luck, Stolas”, he said before closing the door, sealing it with a ward.
Kneeling before he the crystal ball, he opened the grimoire to the page he needed and unsheathed the dagger. For this ritual, he would become a conduit of sorts. His blood and the power of his grimoire would help draw the natural powers of the moon toward the marked room tonight, trapping as much natural magic as possible.
The trapped raw magic would be then drawn toward the seal on his stomach, channeling that power into his body. That magic will flow through him, enhancing his prophesizing powers. He then he would use his own magic to transfer the visions into the crystal ball, thus storing them for further deciphering. While absorbing the moon’s magic would only be for one night, handling that much magic could take several days or even weeks, depending on the power of visions.
He looked up to the moon. It was at its peak. (It’s time). With a shaky breath he brought the blade to his marked abdomen and stabbed himself. Grunting he as he pushed with as much force as he could and twisting the blade, trying to get as deep as it would go. Blood pouring around the floor surrounding the crystal ball near him, but never on it. Then he transformed into his Eldrich form.
Great claws leaving grooves onto the floor, his large jet black and crimson wings circling around the ball, making it easier for him to channel his magic to the object that will hold his visions. His four eyes looking up at the moon feeling its magical properties envelop him. As he muttered a spell, the grimoire rose from the ground, a bright white light emitting from its pages. With a final roar he unleashed his spell.
The markings on the floor and walls started glowing. The candles’ flames changed from a warm, natural yellow to a blue hue as his blood began to spread onto the floor. The moonstones began to glow an ominous glow as magic perforated the air.
White hot pain enveloped him, as the raw magic from the moon started entering him. Focusing, he channeled this magic to the crystal ball and started to open his mind, as the sight of the moon disappeared before him, visions of the past, present and future started surrounding him. He willed himself to focus, to endure this pain, so that he may get back to Via, to Vassago and of course, to Blitz.
(Focus…I can do it… I can endure… just need… to focus.)
Chapter 3: I Miss You
Chapter Text
<Blitzo to Stolas> 8/ 14 8:09 pm :Stols pk up yor fne!:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 8/ 15 8:04 am :kal me!:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 8/ 17 3:14 pm :r u ok?:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 8/ 19 4:45 pm :is yor mun thing don yet?:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 8/ 23 8:14 pm : (Image of a ‘funny’ meme about gay birds)
<Blitzo to Stolas> 8/ 23 8:14 pm :ths md me thnk of u. plz rspnd:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 8/ 25 12:01 pm :stp ignrn me brdbrane:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/ 1 4:45 pm :r u mad at me? I sowy. idk wat i did but i sowy.:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/9 11: 53 pm : I mss ur swt ass:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/10 9:42 am :dnt rd tht! Ws drnk!:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/14 2:44 pm :amsr me u dum bch! PLZ!!!:
*****
“Com'n… com'n… pick up, you stupid owl” Blitz muttered in irritation.
“…Burrr…Burrr…Hello, this is Stolas. I’m not here right now so please leave a message and I will get to you as soon as possible…BEEEEEP” Voicemail…again.
“If you would like to leave a message, then screw you! Their mailbox is full Bwahahaha!!” Hell’s automated answering machine replied.
“Dammit!!” Blitz yelled as he threw his phone on the ground in irritation at getting another voicemail, groaning as he realized that he had thrown it so hard that it smashed into several pieces. “Gah... Christ on a cracker!”
“You ok there, B?” Millie asked from her spot on their torn-up sofa, sitting right next to her husband. A coffee cup with her face on it in her hand.
“He said a few weeks he'd be done. Few means two. It’s been four, Mils… Four!!!…Why is he ghosting me?”
“Well, sir, maybe it’s because he’s busy and doesn’t have time to answer your million messages. He did say this was important work, afterall.” Moxxie replied in a sardonic voice before taking a sip of his own coffee.
The taller imp walked up to Moxxie “Ok, first of all, Mox, it wasn’t a million. It was 298 calls and 1934 texts”. He defended himself pointing a finger at the smaller imp. “And second that full moon thing ended weeks ago. He should be done by now, right? Ugh… I just need to know what happened to him. Uh… I mean… so we can get the grimoire back… yeah that’s it”.
“Look, Blitz… its sweet that you’re worried about your boyfriend..." Millie began.
“He isn’t my boyfriend!!”
“…anyway, as I was saying, its sweet that you are worried about him but there’s nothing you can do right now. He said he will let you know when he’s done, right? And besides, isn’t no news is good news?”
“Ugh, fine. I’ll stop... for now…just until I can find my spare, spare phone”
Moxxie looked at Blitz with a weird expression on his face. “How many phones do you even have?”
“Well, Mox, that’s for me to know and you to mind your own fucking damn business.” The red and white imp said with a smirk. “Sigh… I’m going to my office, and get some important work done”
“What work?” Moxxie asked but was ignored.
The taller imp turned to walk back to his office before trying to make a reach for the landline phone on Loona’s desk. Just as he was about to touch it, his daughter pulled it closer to her, giving him a threatening growl. Putting up his hands in defeat, he scooched to his office door.
As the door closed, Moxxie and Millie gave each other a worried look. Anytime they were not actively killing someone, they would notice the imp try to sneak a call or check his phone. They knew Blitz was worried, but they hadn’t seen him like this before.
*****
Blitz wasn’t worried because he wasn’t talking to Stolas, they have gone days where he hasn’t messaged the bird (granted Stolas always answers my messages right away). It’s because of how he was talking in their last meeting that made him sound like that was a final goodbye. That's what got him worried.
Blitz tried contacting the owl whenever he could, but never got a response. He asked Fizz if Ozzie had heard from him. The answer was no. He didn’t want to message Octavia; he wouldn’t know what to say to her. The owl hadn’t posted or commented on anything on Sinstagram since before he had last seen him either. Sometimes he would even drive to the palace to see if there was any sign of the Goetia prince. There never was.
Blitz sat in his office chair with a sigh, fiddling with a pen that sat on top of his desk. He didn’t really have any paperwork to do, he signed all the important looking documents and made origami horses with the rest. He didn’t have any motivation for making any new, convoluted plans for potential targets.
And with a little bit of glue, he already fixed the Moxxie and Millie bobblehead dolls that he broke (ok… maybe he accidentally put the dolls heads on the wrong bodies, but Moxxie’s head looked way better on Millie’s body if he did say so himself. So, there was no point in trying to refix it). But anyway, he fixed the dolls that got broke when he tried making room for Stolas on his desk last month.
Sigh… Stolas.
He really missed him. Even here in his office, everything reminded him of the prince. The half dead plant in the corner he knew the bird would gush over until it was alive again, the panic button under his desk designated exclusively for the owl, the trunk in the corner labeled ‘Stolas Sex Stuff’ (so he could get to the palace right after work). Even his secret envelope he kept in a file in his safe labeled classified.
Turning around in his chair, he took off the painting and typed in the security code 4-3-2-1 (Stolas made him change his last password from 1-2-3-4 after the whole L.A. incident) and took out the file. Reaching in he took out several envelopes, each labeled with the different names of people important to him. He put all the envelopes on the side, only keeping the one labeled Stolas on it. Opening it, he took out its contents.
A film strip of a happy Stolas and a moody Octavia in a photo booth in Loo Loo Land, a printed out photo he took with his phone of Stolas sleeping after one of their sessions, a news article photo of Stolas, Striker and Blitz (the latter two scribbled out) from the Harvest Moon Festival games, a stunning ‘Welcome to Ozzie’s’ souvenir photo of the two of them when they went on their ‘date’ (the half with Blitz torn off), Person’s magazine article of Stolas in his human disguise waving shyly behind a scribble out picture of ‘Brennan Rager’ and a group photo of them with their daughters with the L.A. fireworks in the background (that one he hasn’t defaced himself just yet). He looked so happy in that photo...
Knock Knock Knock
Blitz ignored whoever was at the door. His crew could handle it.
Satan, he missed him. He hoped that the pervy prick of a bird would answer him soon.
Knock Knock Knock
“Uh, sir?”
"You know what, screw it. If he won’t talk to me, then I’m going over there to him. It’s the full moon anyway so he has no excuse to avoid me. He better have a damn good reason why he’s been ignoring me or so help me; I will kick his feathered ass all the way to earth and back." Blitz said to himself.
Knock Knock Knock
“SIR?!”
With a new resolve he decided that he would drop off M&M and his Looney Tooney at home then break into the palace to see that bastard owl, whether he liked it or not.
“BLITZ!! Get your ass out here! Call for you!” He heard his adoptive daughter call out to him. Bursting out the door, slamming poor Moxxie into the wall.
“Stolas?”
“No”
“Oh. Then tell whoever it is I’m busy”
He turned to head back into his office when Loona, surprisingly, gently grabbed his shoulder to stop him. Turning to her, he noticed the worry in her eyes. “It’s Via.”
Millie stopped trying to help her husband sit up to listen in. Both looking up to the taller imp. The hellhound handed her phone (the one thing he was never allowed to touch, under any circumstances) over to him.
“Octavia, sweetie, are you there? Everything ok?”
“Blitz?... Can you come over here and get me… Please?” She sounded like she’d been crying.
“What’s wrong, honey? What happened?” He turned to look at M&M, seeing the concern in their eyes.
“It’s dad…”
Chapter 4: A Call For Help
Chapter Text
“What??? What happened?? What’s wrong with Stolas???” Blitz ignored the worried looks on M&M’s faces.
“He…he had to do a ritual last month, right? And, well… he... he hasn’t come back yet. Vassago said…”
“Wait, wait, wait… who?”
“Vassago. He...he’s the one that’s trying to help my dad. An…anyway, he said that he may have to interfere with the ritual before it’s too late but doesn’t want me to see what’s happening to him. Can… can you pick me up and take me somewhere? ... Please? He won’t go to dad until I’m out of the house.”
Blitz gritted his teeth when he heard that. (Stolas is in trouble? And whoever this prick is won’t do anything to help until his kid’s gone?? That’s messed up).
“Alright… I’ll be right over. Just… try to stay calm. Everything will be ok” He ended the call before gripping the phone so hard that it broke.
“Blitz! That was mine” his daughter growled. He could endure her wrath later.
“Everyone listen up! I’m going to bring Via here. I’ll be back shortly.” He opened a portal with the crystal and jumped right through before anyone could protest.
When he landed, took a brief look at his surroundings…of course. It would be Stolas’ bedroom. It was as neat and tidy as it always had been. The only thing that was out of place was a few leather trunks by his nightstand. He could figure out what that meant later. Right now, he was here on a mission.
Running out of the room, he started to shout for the owl girl. “Via, you here?”
“Blitz? Is that you?” he heard Via call out. (Kitchen. That’s where she is).
He ran all the way there, surprised by the sight of two Goetias. One was Via. She looked like a mess with her tear-stained face and bags under her eyes. The other one was a tall, red parrot. He wore a fancy red outfit and yellow glasses that made Blitz think of something a millennial with a midlife crisis might wear. This must be the guy that Via mentioned, the one who should be helping Stolas but isn’t.
Blitz reached for his concealed gun that he kept in his jacket. Just in case he needed it. “Via, you ok?”
“How… how did you get here so fast? I literally just called.”
“It’s not important. Now can you explain what the hell’s going on?” he demanded, pointing his gun toward the other Goetia.
“You can put that away. I’m not a threat.” the parrot said.
“Yea? Then why is she upset?” the imp gestured to the owl. “And where the fuck is Stolas? Via said he’s in trouble and you won’t help him until she leaves.”
“Because that’s what I swore to him.” The imp lowered his weapon at that, confusion lighting his face. “Stolas made me promise that should anything happen during this ritual where I might need to intervene, that I would make sure Via would be safe out of harm’s way and prevent her from seeing things that she shouldn’t.” The parrot explained.
“And what exactly happened?”
“He’s taking too long to complete the ritual.”
“He’s taking…How ‘s that a problem? He’s always been a perfectionist.” The imp questioned, putting his gun back in his jacket.
“Being thorough has nothing to do with this I’m afraid.” Vassago turned around to look at a candle sitting on the table. The flame glowing blue and unmoving. “You see, for this kind of ritual, Stolas is using a combination of all three types of magic.”
“He’s doing what with a what now?” The imp didn’t know there was more than one type. Then again Stolas probably told him about it sometime and he zoned out.
“Anyway…” the parrot continued, ignoring the question directed at him, “While using all three types at once can provide very powerful, potent magic for spells and prophecies, it’s also very deadly. Many have perished after using the combination for long periods of time.” Blitz heard Via hitch a sob.
“We have used this candle to mark when the ritual is near its end, so I can release the wards and collect him. However, despite being a month, the candle stays lit. Do you understand what that means?”
“Uhh? … That that’s one good quality candle?” Blitz tried to joke. The parrot scowled at him, and Via looked at him as though he were an idiot. (Stolas would have thought that was funny).
“No, you idiot. It means the ritual is still going on. I need to unseal the doors and try to stop him before he loses his life. And I can’t do that with her here. I gave him my word”.
Oh… so that’s why. He didn’t really understand this magic talk, but apparently the candle was linked to Stolas. “Well, just blow out the candle. That would stop it, right?” He hopped on the table to put it out. (If all we need to do is blow out a candle to save his feathered ass, then I’m gonna blow the hell out of that thing).
Weren’t you listening you ignoramus?” The parrot demon grabbed the imp by the tail before he could touch the candle. Vassago glared at the imp he was dangling upside down by the tail. “The candle isn’t…” he paused, looking at the flame. Blitz looked at the flame as well. It was getting smaller and smaller. (GAH! Did I break it? I haven’t even blown yet!)
“It’s ending…he’s ending it.” Vassago dropped the imp before turning in a series of red feathers and flew out of there like a swarm of angry hornets.
“Dad…” Octavia grabbed Blitz by the tail before turning into a swarm as well and flew over to the observatory as well.
(Ok… Feather travel is not the best mode of transportation). The imp was trying not to get motion sickness as they came to a the top of a very large spiral staircase. He saw the parrot demon using a spell to unseal the glowing door in front of him.
“I thought I told you to get her out of here. She should not see this.”
“But he’s my dad!” the teen argued back.
“Octavia…” Vassago stopped to turn to her. Putting his hands on her shoulders so she would listen to him. “He would not want you to see him like this. Believe me.”
Seeing the look in his eyes, Blitz understood. Vassago was trying to protect her. Just as Stolas asked him to do as well.
“… I’ll get her out of here.” Blitz told them before activating his Asmodean crystal, opening a portal back at I.M.P.. He saw Millie looking in before pushing Via through to her. “Take care of her for me. I’ll let you know when we’ve gotten Stolas.”
“Hey wait…” He closed the portal.
“You don’t need to stay for this.” Vassago told him, turning back to work on unsealing the door.
“Yeah, well I’m not leaving. So might as well get over it.”
“Tch… fine.” Vassago reluctantly agreed. He didn’t have time for arguing. “But if you do anything to hurt him, you will learn the hard way why you shouldn’t make an enemy of Ars Goetia. Do I make myself clear, imp?”
“Fiinneee! Now will you open the Satan damned door already?” Blitz yelled, growing impatient. Finally, the glow from the door dissipated as he heard the door unlock. Swinging it open, he was not sure what to expect. But it was definitely not this.
The floors were covered with a thick black liquid. There was a faint glowing underneath it with strange markings. Candles that were nearly completely melted were scattered all over the floor. and in the center, he could make out what looked like a book (of course, the grimoire) hovering in the air giving off a white light. And right behind it, was the one he was looking for.
Stolas was still in his Eldrich form, giving a heart-retching, pain filled moan from his place in the center of the room. It looked like he was protecting something in his wings. From where he was standing, the imp could make out the same black liquid on the floor flowing down his legs and coming out of his mouth (Blood? Is he hurt? Wait... Is this stuff on the floor all Stolas’ blood? How does he even have that much in him?).
“Stolas!” Blitz shouted as he ran toward the demon, only to be bounced back, as if he ran right into wall. “Ugh! Satan dammit! What the hell?!!" He shouted, holding his face in pain.
“It’s a barrier you fool. You will need to wait until he’s finished before crossing the threshold.”
“Well don’t just stand there Viagra. Stop it!”
“My name is Vassago and I can only interfere if he can’t finish it. The candle was going out. He’s nearing completion.”
The imp was going to retort when he heard a loud snap of a book shutting and a piercing screech. Stolas was changing back to his original form. His grimoire fell to the floor with a dull thud next to a weird orb that looked to be filled with galaxies that Blitz had not noticed before. (Was this what he was protecting?)
Looking back up he saw Stolas on his hands and knees, struggling to hold himself up. Dark strips of steam seemed to be rolling off in wisps throughout his bloodied, disheveled body. A large dagger sticking out from his torso. (He is hurt!). He was starting to see the reason why the parrot Goetia didn’t want Via to see this.
“Stol…Aahhh” Blitz tried to walk to the owl, only to once again be pushed back by the barrier. “Gah!!! Dammit!!!” He cried out, holding his face in pain.
He felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up he saw the parrot demon give him a look, before turning his attention back to the figure in the room. To his horror, he saw Stolas, with shaky hands, try to pull the blade out of himself
“No! Don’t do that you idiot! You’ll only make it worse!” the imp shouted, only to be ignored.
With a pained grunt, he pulled it out, coughing up a large amount of blood as well. Then, he grabbed his self-inflicted wound with his right hand.
Blitz saw a small amount of dark blue energy coming from his hand. Seeing the look of pain and concentration on the owl’s exhausted face, he could only guess that he was trying to heal himself. After what felt like an eternity, but was probably a minute or two, he let go of his wound and crawled a few paces out of the center of the circle before collapsing.
The room grew dark as the runes ended their glow and the candles went out. The only light coming from was the orb sitting in the center of the room. The moment Vassago let go of his shoulder, he ran, not caring if he got hit in the face a third time by the barrier. This time though, there wasn’t one.
“Stolas!!!”
“Wait! Don’t touch him!” Vassago tried to warn him. Unfortunately, he didn’t listen as he reached for the bloody and still smoking demon. Kneeling near the body, he shakingly reached the downed demon.
He barely touched the still form when his world went black.
Chapter 5: Look My Way
Notes:
So this chapter is a song fic. There may be future chapters that will have a song in them but i only plan for using maybe 2 or 3 songs for this entire story. And future songs will just be a small part of it.
Chapter Text
Blitz slowly woke up in another room. Books lined the walls in large bookcases. A solar system light fixture dangled from the ceiling. A set of staircases lead up to a dais before branching. And in between the stairs was a large desk where someone was writing in a large book.
Stolas.
But instead of the bloodied, naked frame that he saw just moments ago, he looked healthy. He was dressed in his regal garb with his hat off to the side of his large desk.
“Stolas? What happened? Are you ok?” He asked the owl, only to get no response, not even any acknowledgement that he had even heard. Blitz frowned before climbing up onto the desk, standing right in front of him.
“Stolas? Hey Stols? Hell to birdbrain can you hear me?” The imp impatiently waved his hand in front of the owl’s face only to be ignored once again.
Ok, now he was getting irritated. He had been worried about this prick for a month and now he was just ignoring him? Suddenly, he heard the door behind him open. He quickly jumped off the table to be greeted with the sight of the Goetia's butler, Pringles, or at least that’s what Blitz thought he was called.
“Hey you! I think your boss is broken.” ‘Pringles’ ignored him as well and walked towards the desk. (Ugh! I hate being ignored.) Blitz stood in front of the butler only for the smaller imp to walk right through him. (What just happened? Am I dead?)
He turned to see the imp place a gift bag onto the owl’s desk with a bow before leaving. Stolas turned his attention away from his work to take out a small box from the bag, opening it. Blitz noticed it looked like an Asmodean crystal. In fact, it looked like the exact same one he had on his glove right now.
The owl gave a sad smile toward the crystal before closing the box. Standing from his desk, Stolas closed his book and started doing something the imp was not expecting. He started to sing.
It is expected, an oath by blood to hold thetome
And the starlight passes overhead
Fuels all the skills I've honed
Stolas started climbing up the stairs to the dais. Blitz followed him all the way to the top and entered the portal the owl demon opened. Suddenly they were no longer in Hell. Nor earth for the matter. (Are we in space? How can I still breathe? Why aren’t I floating away?)
I am a guardian, a watcher of these ancient rites
Yet I find myself drawn from that path
On those dazzling moonlit nights
Blitz saw Stolas grabbing a small planet earth with a moon, no larger than the size of a coin. Taking the moon to hold it close, in a loving embrace while discarding the planet. (Wow. He really loves that thing)
Let me holdyou, keep you close to me
I long to hear your voice
But, dearest, I know better now
I must give you this choice
With a final fond hug, he reluctantly released the moon, letting it float around him.
I can give you everything you need
Or do you want to hear me plead?
Just look my way
Just look my way
Blitz noticed how the owl gave the moon a pleading look as if asking it to return to him but would not grab it. “Hey Stols, what’s with the moon?” the imp asked, of course being ignored again. Finally, Stolas walked to the moon reaching out for it before withdrawing his hand, letting it float away.
Is there something more that I don't know
That you won't say 'til we've both grown cold?
Just say, "Please, stay. Look my way”
(Why is he so upset? What’s so special about that thing anyway?). He blinked once and they were no longer in space. He did not see land anywhere, just water. Spotting the owl, he ran to catch up to Stolas, somehow, they were walking on the water. The moon was now up in the sky. Much larger and giving a golden glow. Stolas walked along the water to continue his song.
This unspoken contract, a deed we forged for mutual gain
If that's all this was when you're not here
What is this rooted pain?
(What contract? What did you promise? Who’s hurting you?) Something told Blitz that Stolas wasn’t singing about the moon, just as the owl made a constellation that looked like an imp.
(He looked very familiar. But where have I seen him before?) He saw how Stolas looked so happy with the constellation even leaning into its touch, feeling a little bit of jealousy.
I don't care that you're oflower station
Or primed to sate my dark temptations
Why can't you understand? Let me explain!
The constellation faded away as Stolas reached out for it before collapsing on the ground hugging himself as he shed a tear. (Who is this guy? What did he do to you?) Blitz tried putting a comforting hand on the owl, only for it to go through him. (Of course. I’m a ghost).
And I'm terrified, as I cry
To make these feelings true
What's left for me and my broken heart
If I cannot have you?
As a tear dropped into the water around them, Stolas disappeared and reappeared as a set of blue constellations. A string was attached to his finger, and on the other end, a red moon. As the moon turned a red form appeared huddled in a black bubble. It was an imp. The same imp as before. Now he recognized him.
(Wait… is …is that supposed to be me? Am I the moon? I’m hurting him?) Blitz realized with horror that Stolas was singing about him this entire time.
Unless it's me
And no matter what in this world I could give
It's not enough
To get through the walls you've conjured up to live
He saw the owl’s constellation going to the imp with a worried look. He tried getting the imp’s attention, but he wouldn’t look up.
Is this what you feel?
Scorned by a realm that cannot comprehend
What you are
With great reluctance, the owl pushed the sphere away with great enough force that the string snapped. As the imp drifted further away, he became a large red moon.
So, I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end
The imp blinked and Stolas was back in his original form, both back on the lake.
“What are you talking about? Ending what? Stolas, what are you gonna do?” he asked the owl, realizing that there was no way he would get a response from the forlorn owl.
Stolas had one last determined look before leaping toward the moon with such force that Blitz fell back, nearly sinking into the water himself. Looking up, he thought the owl would be able to reach the moon.
I will try to make amends
For making you means to an end
So, look my way
Please look my way
Just as Stolas was about to touch the moon, he fell. To the imp’s horror, Stolas kept plummeting toward the lake, not even trying to save himself, only reaching for the moon. From where he was, he could see tears freely flowing from the owls’ eyes.
And if there's something more that I don't know
I'll save us both before we grow cold
He crashed in the water. Just sinking to the dark depths still reaching out. Blitz dove down reaching out for him.
If you'll stay, and just say, "Look my way"
He tried swimming faster, trying to reach the rapidly sinking bird as darkness enveloped them. Tears formed in his eyes as Stolas disappeared into oblivion.
Chapter 6: A Lecture In Magic
Chapter Text
Blitz woke up with a piercing headache. Rubbing his temples with a groan, he quickly turned to throw up on the floor. (Ugh, I haven’t felt this hungover since that party at Beelzebub’s and even then, it wasn’t this bad.) With bleary eyes he took in his surroundings.
He was in a purple room with a fancy purple couch. His clothes were stained with something black that looked vaguely like demon blood. There was a tv hanging on the wall across from him. The red rug that was now definitely ruined by vomit looked rather expensive. And sitting on the end table at the foot of the couch was a fancy phone. (Stolas has one that looks just like… Stolas!)
Blitz sat up too suddenly, getting dizzy enough to once again ruin a perfectly good rug. (Bad idea. Very, very bad idea). He thought with a groan. Laying there for a few minutes. Tried to will his pounding head to stop hurting. After what felt like an eternity, the pain receded enough for him to collect his thoughts.
(How did I get here? Wasn’t I on another planet with Stolas or something? Was it just a dream? Yeah… that must be it. Where is he anyway? Better go look for him. Make sure he’s ok.)
With that thought, he went to go look for the prince, but first making his way to the kitchen to get some water, still feeling a bit hungover. Not feeling like doing acrobatics to get a glass from the tall cupboard, he just drank the water straight from the tap.
(Now if I were Stolas, where would I be. He wasn’t in the living room, or in the kitchen. Maybe in his office where I had that strange dream… no, he would be too injured for work. He…he wouldn’t still be lying in that room, would he?) Blitz panicked for a moment just thinking about the owl just lying there in a pool of his own blood.
(No…no don’t think about that. I doubt that red bastard, Viagra or whatever his name is, would just leave him there. I know! I’ll check the bedroom. That’s where I usually find him anyway.)
With that thought, he made his way to the Goetia princes’ private chambers. As he rounded the corner, he noticed a soft light leaking through the partially open door. Quietly, he snuck in.
The room reeked of incense. There was a first aid kit and various bottles on the nightstand next to the lamp that was bathing the room in soft glow. Stolas’ grimoire was on the vanity nearby. He saw the parrot Goetia, standing near the bed holding something in his arms.
“You’ve finally awakened” The red parrot spoke out loud, not turning to look up from his work.
“What happened Viagra?”
“Sigh…For the last time my name is Vassago, not Viagra” the parrot answered annoyed before continuing.
“You had touched Stolas even though I specifically told you not to. Some traces of magic entered you. Judging from your muttering, I believe you had a prophecy. You fainted not long after, so I left you on the couch until you collected yourself, and I could take care of Stolas.”
(So that wasn’t some weird dream? It was a prophecy. Does that mean I saw the future?) “Ugh… thanks… I guess Viag… I mean Vassago”. Blitz warily made his way toward the bed. And there he was.
Vassago did a pretty good job cleaning up the owl. There wasn’t any blood left on him. He must have given Stolas a bath, and, judging by how smooth his feathers looked, probably preened him as well. A large bandage was wrapped around the owl’s stomach, and another one around his left arm. He didn’t recall seeing Stolas’ arm injured. But then again, he was more focused on the sharp metal object sticking out of his owl. (Wait… my owl? Where the hell did that come from?).
Vassago has one hand holding up the other Goetia’s head, trying to get the unconscious bird to drink… something. It looked like one of those infused bottles Fizz was telling him about. There was clear liquid with bits of something floating in it (looks like parsley) in the top and at the bottom were…rocks? Pink, purple, black, and white ones (is he trying to feed Stolas rocks?)
“What’s that?” He asked.
“Water. Infused with medicinal herbs and healing crystals” the parrot said after getting some water into the owl’s mouth. Gently massaged his neck until he swallowed.
“Oh…” was all the imp said as he returned his gaze to Stolas.
Blitz got a better look at the prince. Even though he was cleaned, and his wounds dressed, he looked… bad. His usually soft, shiny feathers were very dull. He looked thin (was he always this thin or because he probably hasn’t eaten for like a month?) Looking at his face, he looked exhausted. Both pairs of eyes were closed, with dark bags under them. And he was still…so, so still. If it weren’t for Vassago getting him to drink that magic rock water, Blitz would have believed he was dead. “How is he?”
“Not good I’m afraid. He’s very anemic for one. He was able to cauterize his stab wound before fainting, so that should be hopefully healing, but better keep an eye on it. That one is the least of my worries, if you believe that. The wound on his arm was something he received prior to the ritual, but somehow it reopened completely and became infected. I’ve cleaned it the best I can, but I’ll keep an eye on it as well to make sure it heals properly. But my greatest concern is his mana levels. He had depleted the stores in his body. If he’s to make a full recovery, his body will need to replenish them”
“If it’s that bad, then shouldn’t we take him to a hospital?”
“Unfortunately, no. While it might help with the physical wounds, his mana depletion is a magic malady. Modern medicine will not be able to help with that. Only he will be able to heal himself. I will aid him as much as I can, but the rest is up to him.” Vassago said while placing a blanket over his patient.
“what’s mana?” asked the imp
“It is his innate magic”, Vassago answered, turning to the imp. Noticing his confusion, he decided to elaborate
“There are three types of magic we use. Mana magic, natural magic and blood magic. Mana is the most common. It is within every sentient being. For many, we see it as natural talents or honed skills, like a marksman who never misses a shot even though he rarely practices.
And for some, like Stolas or myself, are able to manifest magic to its full potential, as you’ve probably seen Stolas do. We can use it to create portals, levitate items, that sort of thing. The stronger the spells, the more mana is used up. Generally, the mana levels will restore themselves right away, however depending on how much is used, it could take a while, and if they do not replenish and regulate themselves in an adequate manner, the mana could poison the body and the user may perish.” that last part got Blitz worried.
“Natural magic comes from drawing the powers of something from nature itself. From the healing properties of crystals and plants to the energy of the moon, as was this case for the ritual. It would not use up one's mana, as mana magic does, and could even help heal and restore a magic user if utilized correctly, as I am trying to do now.” The parrot explained. “Normally Stolas uses mana and natural magic only”
“Blood magic is a bit different as the power comes from, as you might have guess by the name, blood, or rather the life essence from someone's blood. It doesn’t matter if it comes from the conjurer themselves or another. The more blood there is, and the more painful way used to obtain it, the more powerful the spells. In ancient times, blood sacrifices would be used to create powerful spells. However, this type of magic is quite volatile and rarely used anymore. If he is needed to use blood magic, Stolas always prefers to use his own rather than harm another.”
“Normally, one does not use these three magics at the same time, as combining all three could be dangerous, however given that this is a very significant lunar event, he needed all sources of magic as possible. If he was less adept in magic, this would certainly have killed him. Unfortunately, with his mana gone, his recovery isn’t going so well. I will keep measuring his mana levels and do what I can to make sure he fully recovers though. You have my word on that.” Vassago finished his lecture. Hoping that would be enough to sate the imp.
“Thanks” Blitz told him. He didn’t really understand all this magic mumbo jumbo, but he did understand Stolas wasn’t well.
“I guess I haven’t properly introduced myself yet. The name’s Blitz. The O is silent.” Blitz introduced himself holding out a hand
“What O?”
“Exactly”.
“I am Vassago of Ars Goetia. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” The parrot demon shook his hand before turning his attention back to the owl.
"..."
“…” (Well now, this is awkward)
“Would it be ok if I brought Via back now? She’s probably worried about him." Blitz asked as he turned to Vassago, breaking the awkward silence.
The parrot demon turned to the imp with a soft smile. “Of course. I’m sure she would like to see her father.”
Chapter 7: Meanwhile at I.M.P.
Chapter Text
It had been over an hour since Blitz had shoved her into the portal and closed it. Via was sitting on the couch with Millie and Loona. A box of tissues was set out in front of her in case she needed them. She sat in the center of the couch, her legs drawn up close to her body. In her hands, a purple and silver locket that was attached to a slim, silver chain around her neck.
She had told them everything. How her dad had to perform the super blue blood moon ritual, how he tried to send her away, how she grew more worried as the days turned into weeks, how Vassago told her he will need to intervene before it’s too late, how she tried calling Blitz several times, but the line was always busy, so she had to call Loona for help, not knowing if her dad was alive or not.
As the employees listened to her story, Moxxie turned the ‘we’re closed’ sign to give them all privacy before going to the kitchenette to get something for the young owl. Loona and Millie on either side of her, tried to comfort her.
“It’ll be alright sweetie. Your dad’s a tough bird. He won’t leave you. I can guarantee that,” Millie sat with her on the couch, just rubbing her back trying to comfort the upset teenager. The owl looked to her with tear-stained eyes with a thankful look.
“Here, your highness, this will help”. Via turned her attention to the white-haired imp as he was handing her his coffee cup, filled with hot cocoa. She took it gratefully and sipped it. The sweet taste of chocolate helped her feel a little better.
“Millie’s right. Your dad will be ok…. Why don’t we do something to help you get your mind off things until Blitz comes back. I know! How about we show you what we do when we aren’t killing people”. Loona offered.
*****
Via was expecting, paperwork, planning, cleaning… anything that said: ‘I am actually trying to run a business.’ What she didn’t expect was them sitting in a conference room playing what they called ‘Shoot or Pass’. “Look, the games’ easy. I’ll go first and show you how to play” the hellhound offered.
Moxxie put an old box t.v. onto a small table on the other side of a conference room, before stepping away. Millie gave Loona a remote and a shot gun.
(Why do we need a gun?)
As if sensing the owls thought Loona looked at her with a smile. “So, basically, you take this remote and turn on the t.v.” Loona demonstrated “then, you flip through the channels until you find something you don’t like.” The hell hound flipped through a few channels.
Ocatvia took note of the channels: a commercial for Loo-Loo Land, the intro to Hella- Novella (dads favorite show… no…no… not thinking about that now), a commercial for a new hotel in the Pride Ring, the ending of a slasher movie, and an old medical show where a doctor is giving a hellhound a Hellbies shot. Loona stopped at that one “Then you shoot.”
BANG
That startled the owl a bit, as she stared into a smoking tv.
Moxie lifted the now ruined t.v. from the table before throwing it out the window, while Millie grabbed another one in a nearby closet. (There are so many in there. Why do they have that many? How could they afford them all?)
“Moxxie here won an Invader Dib lookalike contest a while back.” Millie explained noting the owls bewildered look.
“I wasn’t even participating. I was just trying to find a bathroom.” The male imp grumbled from his spot at the window.
“He won a lifetime supply of free T.V.’s!” Millie continued. “We thought that they were just gonna give him a new one every year or something… until they dropped these off. We sometimes sell some if we’re low on cash, but since they’re so out of date, no one really uses them anymore. So, we put them to use the best way we can."
That made sense… kinda. “Wanna take a go?” Loona offered her the gun and remote.
“Umm… will this work for the t.v.?” The owl asked.
“Oh yeah. It’s a universal remote.” Via didn’t think that’s how they worked, but alright. She was going to give it a go. She flipped through the channels.
An imp named Wally Wackford begging for clients in a commercial, a party video in the Gluttony Ring, and then she stopped at fashion show for Goetia. Her mom always forced her wear these types of outfits for galas or balls and she hates them. She fired the gun as a flamingo demon was walking on stage wearing the ‘latest fashion’: a frilly pink dress that made her look like a deformed boob.
BANG
That… felt good.
“Nice shot your highness” Moxxie complemented her.
“If you ever get sick of this royalty thing you can always join us at I.M.P.. We can always use a good marksman” Millie joked, but Octavia felt the kindness radiating from her words.
They played for quite a while until it was Moxxie’s turn. He stopped on a channel where this sleazy looking shark demon started bragging about himself. Moxxie fired not just one shot but whipped out his pistols and started firing like crazy. Even more surprisingly was Millie whipping out her battle ax and really going for the kill. That poor t.v. never stood a chance.
“Ok… I think we are done for a while; Let’s go do something else.” Loona pushed her out while the imps kept obliterating the remains of the tv.
“What was that?” she asked.
“Just some ex of theirs. And no, they aren’t poly. It was before they met.” Loona explained.
“o…k…”
They went to the couch to look at Sinstagram on Octavia’s phone, since Blitz destroyed Loona’s. The imps eventually came out a while later looking a little disheveled (Octavia suspected it had nothing to do with the tv slaughter). Millie went to the kitchenette to grab some snacks for everyone as Moxxie went to Blitz’s office to put some expense reports on his boss’s desk.
As he was placing the reports on the desk, he noticed an empty classified file with several envelopes in a pile in the corner. “What’s this?” he asked himself as he opened an envelope that said Moxxie and Millie.
He screamed.
The girls rushed to the office to see what Moxxie was screaming about. Moxxie was crouched on the floor, trembling. Eyes wide in horror and a nervous sweat ran down his brow as he just stared at the picture in his shaky hands.
“Mox, sweetie? Everything ok? “Millie asked her husband nervously.
“How…why… why does he have this…” the white-haired imp asked with a shaking voice. Millie took a glance at what her husband was holding…and laughed.
In his hands was a photo of Moxxie and Millie from after they returned from Crimson’s ambush wedding... with Moxxie still wearing the wedding dress.
“It’s not funny Millie!” the imp scolded his wife.
“Wheeze… s..sorry babe. But you are so cute in that thing. “
“Damn fatty, you look good in a dress” Loona chimed in with a smirk. Octavia giggled at the male imp. He was cute in a dress.
“You think this is funny? Well, he’s got stuff on both of you as well “he answered with a glint in his eyes. He handed Millie their envelope and went to the desk to give Loona hers.
“The fuck?” Loona growled. The first picture she saw was from the first time she got a Hellbies shot after being adopted. She’s curled up on their apartment couch, holding a plush horse, sleeping. She looked cute. (Blitz better have a damn good reason for this.)
She regained her temper as she heard whimpering. She turned to find the owl princess standing at the desk, holding something.
“Via? You ok?” Loona saw what was in her hands. It was the photo of them in L.A. with the fireworks. She looked at the desk. There were several photos with Stolas on it. (Blitz has one with Stolas’ pictures as well?)
Via clutched her locket around her neck and let the tears flow again. Loona pulled her into a hug rubbed her back to calm her down, giving Moxxie a glare like this is somehow his fault. After a few minutes she calmed down a bit. They left the office and headed back to the couch.
“I’m sorry. I’m just… so scared…sigh…He… he did something like this years ago when I was little… it didn’t last for nearly this long, but he almost died” she told them.
Loona looked at her sadly. That explains a lot. She wasn’t this upset just because of the what ifs, but because she nearly lost him already. “Hey it’ll be ok. And remember what we told you earlier. He’s strong. He won’t leave you alone. I promise." She hugged her again.
“Thank you...”
RING RING RING
RING RING RING
The landline was ringing, but the hellhound secretary was not about to get up to answer it. She had more important things to do.
“Moxxie answer that! We’re having a moment!” Loona barked out an order.
“Thank you for calling I.M.P. where our motto is… sir? Uh... yeah. She’s still here” Octavia perked up a bit “Do you want to…ok, yeah… sure… I’ll tell her. See you soon.” He answered before hanging up, turning to the girls on the couch. “Blitz is going to be coming in a few minutes to grab Octavia so she can see her dad.”
Octavia’s eyes widen. She… was going to see her dad? Was he ok?
“Dad…”
Chapter 8: Via's Memory
Notes:
Warning: Contains childhood trauma
Chapter Text
Just as he promised, Blitz came back via crystal a few minutes later. “Where is he? Is he ok? Also, what happened to you?” the owl princess asked the red and white imp, taking note of his bruised face and bloodied clothes. The imp gave her a tired smile.
“In his room, he’s alive and forcefield.” Was all he said, gesturing for her to go through the portal. Once she crossed over, he looked back at his employees.
“Looney, you’re gonna have to take M&M back home.” He said while tossing his keys at the hellhound. “I’ll come back home later tonight…or maybe tomorrow. I don’t know yet.” He said before hopping back into the portal.
Looking around, Via noticed that they were in her family’s living room. There was no sign of her father, but she didn’t fail to notice a large stain on the carpet.
“Did dad get sick or something?” She asked the imp.
“No. That was me” he said casually, but after seeing the confusion in her face, he quickly added “I mean uh… well… I kinda got prophesied when we got him and well… anyway, do you want to see him or not” Blitz took the young owl to her father’s room.
Vassago was there sitting on the chair that was usually by her father’s vanity, looking up to see the two. But her focus was on the still figure on the bed. “Dad!” Octavia ran over to the bed. “Dad?” she tried again. He wasn’t moving.
“He won’t wake up just yet” Vassago told her.
“What’s wrong with him?” She hasn’t seen him this still in a long time… not since last time.
“He has a few wounds that I will keep an eye on as well as mana depletion” Via let out a gasp. She had learned at an early age the dangers of using too much mana.
“But… he will be ok though… right?” she turned to ask the parrot.
“I will do all I can to make sure he will make a full recovery”
“Thank you Vassago”.
“You don’t need to thank me. It is my duty as his keeper and his friend”.
Blitz wanted to ask what a keeper was, but figured now wasn’t the best time. They stayed like that for a while. Blitz secretly prayed that Stolas would wake up, just so he could see those glowing red eyes again.
“It’s getting late. You should get to bed, Octavia. I will keep watch over him tonight and let you know if anything changes. You as well Blitz. Thank you for coming.”
“Uh… yeah, no worries. I’ll come over sometime tomorrow to check up on you three. Let me know if you need anything”. With one last look at the unconscious owl, he reluctantly opened a portal to his apartment and jumped in.
After watching him go, Via turned to her father. “Goodnight dad. I love you” giving him a quick kiss on his forehead, before turning to the parrot. “Goodnight Vassago.”
“Goodnight Octavia.”
*****
Octavia was lying on her bed, sleep avoiding her. She just couldn’t stop worrying about her dad. Not after what happened all those years ago. She couldn’t remember exactly how long the ritual lasted or if it was even the same one, but she remembered the aftermath well.
~FLASHBACK~
12 years ago...
Five-year-old Octavia was working hard on her project in her bedroom. Sitting at the tiny round table where she would do her art and play her tea parties with her plushies and sometime daddy, she was working on a masterpiece. Her daddy had to do work for a longer time than normal. She wanted to make her daddy a present for when he was done.
Some of her crayons were broken from the force she used to color and the floor had some balled-up papers from the pictures she was not happy with. But this time she was determined to get it right. She just needed to find the perfect purple.
Just as she picked up the prettiest shade she had; she heard her mommy yelling for her daddy. Mommy sounded angry. Is daddy back? Her picture can wait she wanted to give daddy a great big hug!
Little Via followed her mom’s voice to her parents’ bedroom. She opened the door a little to look in. There she saw her mommy and Vassago. Vassago was talking to her mom with the same look on his face that Stella gave Via whenever she felt her daughter was bothering her too much (which was often). Stella was yelling out bad words that daddy told her she should never say, waving her arms around like she usually did when she was angry (again quite often).
Then she saw him. There, on the bed looking like he was sleeping but not making his hooting snores, was daddy. She stepped in the room a little bit to get a better look at the figure in the bed. He didn’t look good. Is he sick?
“…Daddy?” she asked quietly, getting the attention of the two arguing adults.
“What is she doing here? She shouldn’t see him like this. Get her out of here this instant!” She heard Vassago yell, but her eyes were focused on her dad. Tears were forming in her eyes as one of the hell hound guards picked her up and carried her away.
“No!!! I want my daddy!!! Daddy!!!”
*****
“His highness is getting worse I hear.”
“The missus has been in one of her moods again. Threw poor Impington out the window.”
“I hear Lord Vassago yellin at the missus. Somethin bout her interferin?”
“The Missus brother is here….”
“I saw the missus messin with them herbs n’ potions Lord Vassago brought. Can’t say if she tryin ta help her husband or tryin ta off him”
“I hope his highness don’t die. He’s one of them good ones, he is.”
“The poor little princess. She’s so close with her pa. Can’t imagine how she’s taking it.”
Octavia tried ignoring the servants’ whispers around the palace. But it was hard. She really missed her daddy.
*****
One week later...
It had been a week since Octavia saw her dad in his bedroom. Mommy was angry as normal and Vassago, though kind and patient with her, wouldn’t let her see Daddy. So, she dove into her work to make the best present she could for her dad. Her bedroom floor was littered with balls of paper of the drawings that she was not satisfied with. This HAD to be perfect.
Finally, after many broken crayons, lots of paper, and all the glitter she could find, it was all done. The perfect picture! She drew her and daddy smiling, holding hands on the moon with lots of sparkly stars and planets. In big purple letters, she wrote:
I LUV U DADY
Now she just had to give it to him, but Vassago would not let her in the bedroom. She would have to be sneaky. Carefully, Via folded her masterpiece and put it in the pocket of the blue dress she was wearing before leaving her room.
As the owlet neared her destination, she heard mommy yelling again. Turning around the corner, she found mommy holding the phone, screaming bad words at someone, before throwing the phone and Impington, (who was holding it) aside. Stella looked up to her daughter before advancing, roughly grabbing her by the arm.
“You wretched brat! How dare you eavesdrop on me!” Via didn’t know what ‘eavesdrop’ meant, but she wasn’t sure she did that.
“Mommy I don’t…” Slap! Stella cut her daughter off with a hard blow to her cheek.
“You’ve been a bad girl and brats like you deserve to be punished,” Stella said dragging her daughter roughly by the arm, ignoring the poor girl’s pleas and cries of pain. Finally, they made their way to the observatory. The door was glowing with magic. The five-year-old knew that meant that it was magically locked.
Stella dropped her daughter by the door. “You can just sit here and think about what you’ve done,” she said before moving to stand a few feet away, leaning against a wall. Little Via didn’t understand. If she was on time out, then shouldn’t she be in her room or something?
"AAAHHHHHH!!!"
She suddenly heard a scream… a horrible, blood curdling scream. It scared her. Then she heard begging and crying followed by more horrible screams of pain. She knew the voice. It was daddy! He was behind the magic door. And he was hurting!
Via tried pulling on the door, but due to the magic, it wouldn’t budge. She started pounding on the door pleading for it to open.
“Daddy! Daddy!” she called out tears running down her cheeks. She tried running away to mommy to get her to open the door to help daddy.
“Mommy! Please! Help daddy!” she cried. SLAP! Another blow to her sore cheek.
“Enough, you stupid brat! This is your punishment. You will sit here and don’t bother me again” Stella yelled at her, before depositing her by the door again, returning to her place near the stairs.
The young owlet tried to drown out the noise by covering her ears, but the cries were just too loud. The owlet could do nothing except sit there huddled against the wall opposite the door and cry as she listened to her father’s suffering. After what felt like forever, everything went quiet. The doors lost their glow as Vassago came out, holding something (or rather someone) covered with a sheet.
She met his gaze briefly, seeing a look of horror in his eyes as he realized she had heard what was going on the other side of the door. Her gaze lowered to what he was holding. Although she couldn’t see most of it due to the white sheet that had something black seeping through, the owlet saw a limp arm with black blood dripping down it fall from the sheets.
She recognized that arm. It belonged to the same person who would hold her tight. The same person who would give her warm hugs. It belonged to the person she wanted most.
Daddy…
Little Via started to cry again in earnest, calling for her father as Vassago carried him away. She didn’t see the harsh look Vassago gave to Stella as he walked past nor the vindictive smirk she returned to the parrot. All she could focus on was her father being carried away.
It wasn’t until after Vassago was out of sight that she felt her mother pick her up and dump her in her room.
*****
Later that night...
It was way past her bedtime, but little Via couldn’t sleep. She wanted her daddy. Was he ok? She decided to find out. Grabbing the picture she made for him, (because that will help him feel better) the child snuck into his room. Neither mommy nor Vassago was in the room, but she could see her dad was.
She crept quietly to the bed. He was curled up in a fetal position, his lower half under the blankets. She could hear his ragged breathing and the occasional pain-filled chitter coming from him. His eyes were closed but she couldn’t tell if he was asleep.
“Daddy?” she asked quietly. No response. She just wanted to be near her daddy, so she climbed onto the bed. Via was going to hug him until she saw lots of bandages on him. Not wanting to hurt him further, she laid down real close to him, resting her head against his chest. She closed her eyes, suddenly tired. As she was drifting off, Via heard a soft moan and felt movement around her.
Once his little Starfire settled after snuggling to him, Stolas wrapped his bandaged arms around his child, and with a trembling hand, began petting her long head feathers in comfort as she drifted to sleep.
~FLASHBACK ENDS~
The next morning when they woke up, she gave Stolas her picture, which he said was the best present he’d ever gotten (It’s proudly displayed in a picture frame in his office to this day). He made a full recovery with the help of Vassago and her super amazing picture (his words, not hers).
Years later, Via learned that Vassago had to do a purification ritual (the one she had been forced to listen to) to save his life. Her mother was taken out of the palace until Stolas recovered and from then on, she was made to leave during any and all lunar rituals, even the routine ones Stolas normally did. Octavia didn’t know why, Vassago told her she would learn when she got older, Stolas would always change the subject and Stella would always blame her dad.
Via would get upset whenever Stolas had to do a full moon ritual for several months, but thankfully they only lasted a night and were not anywhere near as dangerous as the one that traumatized her. When she was a little older, Stolas would even let her sit in on one from time to time, and eventually the fear subsided.
Unfortunately, Via continued to have nightmares about Stolas disappearing, even to this day. Stolas would come into her room late at night to take her to see the stars and sing her a lullaby, letting her know that he would always be with her even if he was gone and that she would be ok.
On her sixth birthday, he gave her a special locket, the one she was still wearing. Whenever she opened it, it would show a holographic image of her younger self and her dad smiling, while playing her lullaby.
Whenever you wear this, my little Starfire, know that even if you can’t see me, I will always be with you. Everything will be ok. You will be ok.
Now here she was lying on her bed, hoping her father would awaken soon. Looking at her locket, she opened it, staring at the holographic image of them that appeared, she listened to her father’s voice singing the familiar, comforting tune.
It always seems more quiet in the dark
It always feels so stark
How silence grows under the moon
Constellations gone so soon
I used to think that I was bold
I used to think love would be fun
Now all my stories have been told except for one
Octavia closed her eyes listening to the song.
As the stars start to align
I hope you take it as a sign
That you'll be ok
Everything will be ok
If she imagined hard enough, she could still see the cosmos that her dad would show her whenever he sang this song.
And if theSeven Ringscollapse
Although the day could be my last
You will be ok
When I'm gone you'll be ok
“Dad, please come back to me soon.”
And when Creation goes to die
You can find me in the sky
Upon the last day
As the song died out, the pendant closed by itself. Octavia drifted off into a deep sleep.
And you will be ok
Chapter 9: Nightmare
Chapter Text
“How could you Blitz? I was beginning to think you were better than this?” Fizz asked him with a look of sheer disappointment. He turned around to see a young owl Goetia.
“You’ve taken him from me! My family is destroyed because of you!” Octavia cried.
“You always take from those around you and leave them worse and more broken than you found them. Ain't that right?” Millie spoke up, disgust on her face. She turned around and in her place was Moxxie, with an equally disgusted look.
“You didn’t care at all did you, Sir? You just used him like … ” Blitz tuned out the rest of whatever Moxxie was saying, turning to look around the desolate wasteland around him.
The sky was a smoggy purple. The ground was scattered with rusted metal and debris. other than the two imps, there was no one around.
“SHUT UP!!!” He turned to yell at Moxxie, tired of his prattling, only to find he was no longer there. The mottled imp started walking. Like hell, he was just going to stand there and listen to all this bullshit. (Even if it is true).
“You just shove away anyone who gets too close until they resent you. You really are a selfish, shitty fuckwad.” Verosika appeared before him, arms folded, looking down at him in disgust. He turned, making a run for it.
“You killed momma, you destroyed Fizz, and now your bird is hurting. Why do we all suffer because of you?” Barbie appeared on his left; loathing etched on her face.
“No! I didn’t mean…” he stopped to turn to her, however, she just disappeared as well. Tears were forming in his eyes now. He turned around to be met with his angry daughter.
“You just destroy all those around you. Who’s next? Moxxie? Millie? ME???” His sweet Looney demanded with a hate filled growl. Behind her, he saw his mother, who looked away from her son in shame and disappointment. Backing away, Blitz tripped over a large, jagged piece of metal.
“You really can’t do anything right, can you, boy?” It was his dad that appeared in front of him now, shear loathing etched in his face.
“Stop it…stop it…” he closed his eyes and covered his ears. Willing these accusations to stop. Tears flowing from his eyes.
“Congrats Blitzy. You did what I couldn’t. Destroy that blue blooded bastard. Knew you had it in you.” He heard an amused voice right behind him. He knew that voice. That voice filled him with such hatred. Striker.
“I said stop!” he screamed grabbing onto the metal that tripped him. He lunged with all his might, feeling the metal going through the other imp. Blitz could hear metal piercing flesh and bone, feel blood pouring onto his hands.
“Bl…it…zy?” he opened his eyes at the sound of his name. That wasn’t Striker.
Where Striker should have been, was Stolas. Black blood ran out of his mouth. All four of his eyes filled with hurt and betrayal, tears running down them.
He looked down at his now blood-stained hands. The metal pierced all the way through the owl.
(No…what have I done?)
He let go of the metal as Stolas collapsed.
His pierced body unmoving. His red eyes, now dull and lifeless. Black blood soaking the ground.
“S..Stolas?”
Your fault… Your fault… Your fault…
“STOLAS!!!”
*****
Blitz woke with a start, sitting up panting. He looked all around. Instead of a desolate wasteland, there were horses, scribbled out photos of himself all over the walls and a run down, yet comfy couch. Home.
It was a dream… another horrible dream. That was the third one tonight. Blitz grabbed his phone. 2:45 am. Well… it was about four hours until his alarm went off, but after this last dream, there was no way in hell he was going to try to go back to sleep again. Might as well get ready for work. He trudged his way to the bathroom for a shower.
Pulling back the torn shower curtain, he removed the clothesline and the clothes that he was drying from the night before, trying to get the bloodstains out. Turning on the shower he stepped into the freezing water, not bothering to let it warm up first.
That last dream really shook him up. But the imp knew that it was due to yesterday’s events. He knew that it none of this was his fault. Stolas’s condition, Via’s tears, that prophecy (Okay maybe that one is kinda my fault. I’m not sure yet).
That prophecy. Blitz let out a shiver that was not just from the cold water. Was it really for the future? Was it going to happen, or could it be prevented? What did mean anyway? He thought back to the visions and the owl's song.
(The moon, the imp, his song… it all must mean something. Does it have anything to do with our full moon meetings? Stolas was singing about ending something in my vision. Does that mean he wants to end our arrangement? Does he not want me anymore? But then, why was he so upset? He clearly loved that moon and imp in my vision. Ugh…it’s too early for this).
The mottled imp got out of the shower and went back to the main room. Putting on some clothes that passed the sniff test, he went back to the couch and turned on the t.v. (one that was ‘generously’ given to him by M&M, free of charge). He flipped through the channels. But nothing good was on.
Blitz pulled out his phone and looked at the time. 3:18 am. Then, he pulled up his text messages. There were four new texts from Fizz sent yesterday evening that he totally missed.
<Fizz to Blitzo> 9/14 7:45pm: Wich 1 4 2nite?:
<Fizz to Blitzo> 9/14 7:46 pm: (one photo of Fizz wearing a rainbow striped jesters’ outfit)
<Fizz to Blitzo>) 9/14 7:46 pm: (one photo of Fizz wearing a purple jester’s outfit with rainbow polka dots)
<Fizz to Blitzo>) 9/14 8:02 pm: nvmd, Ozzie helpd:
<Fizz to Blitzo>) 9/14 8:45 pm : Sry I 4got u c Stolas on 14th. Hav fun 2nite ;) :
Well… Fizz was partially right. He was with Stolas last night. But there was nothing fun about any of it.
<Blitzo to Fizz> 9/15 3:21 am: Sry Fizz. Bd tim. Stolas nt wel:
Blitz then went to Stolas’ messages. Wondering if he had woken up yet, he decided to send a message. After typing and deleting his text a few times, he decided to send a simple:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/15 3:27 am: Hy prty brd. Ho u feln? U ok?:
He waited a few minutes for a reply, but his message, just like the previous 1934, was left unanswered. He’s probably asleep still. Good. He needed rest to get better. But just to be on the safe side he pulled up Via’s number.
<Blitzo to Via> 9/15 3:34 am: Hy Via. Itz Blitzo. Hws yor dad don. He wk yt? I cum after wrk to vst l8r:
He didn’t get a response from her either. Probably asleep. Which he should be doing but refused to go through another nightmare again. So, he did the next best thing. Grab some cheese with hot sauce and put on his DVD of Spirit.
As the movie played, he would occasionally check his phone, waiting for one of the owls to answer him. Neither one did.
Chapter 10: Back To Work
Notes:
Warning: minor OC death, animal cruelty and typical murder from your favorite assassination company
Chapter Text
As soon as the gang entered their office Millie went to make a pot of coffee. “You ok there, Blitz? You don’t look so good,” the red imp asked as she poured him a cup of coffee in his Boss Bitch mug.
“Oh, sure Mils. Just a rough night is all. Just thinking about… things,” her boss answered. Instead of taking the offered mug, he grabbed the entire pot the female imp was holding, downing it in one go. (Ahhh… much better)
Making their way to the conference room, Blitz took his seat at the head of the table. Moxxie was giving him a weird look like he wanted to say something, but Blitz ignored him for now.
“Alright gang. We’ve got five targets today in the same location. So, the plan is to go there, kill some people and come home alright?” No one commented. Millie gave him a look, knowing that usually his plans are more convoluted than this. Loona didn’t bother looking up from her phone.
“Got something to say Mox?” The taller imp finally getting tired of the smaller male’s glare.
“Actually, sir, I do. Do you mind explaining why this was in your office?” He held his photo of the wedding dress in front of his boss’s face.
“Okay. First off Mox. It’s extremely unprofessional and rude to invade other people's privacy” he said unfazed.
“B-but … you invade our privacy all the time” Moxxie sputtered.
“Secondly” Blitz interrupted “That is a good picture from an awesome day. You got to tell your old man to go fuck himself, your wife saved you by killing people with dildos, and I fucked your ex. Great day”.
“Uh huh” the smaller imp said in disbelief. “Then how do you explain…THIS” he held up the bobble head with his head on Millie’s body.
“…so, you look good as a woman. Big deal. It’s a complement” he said dismissively, ignoring the ‘what the fuck’ face Moxxie was giving him. He turned to the girls. "If there’s nothing else, then let’s get this over with, bitches.”
*****
Their targets were all at a large aquarium. According to the client, she wanted revenge on her manager Melvin, for demoting her for ‘not being good at her job’, her security guard fiancé, Chad, for cheating on her with the piranha handler, Jodi. Jodi, for stealing her man. Dennis the cashier at the gift shop for making her uncomfortable (and honestly, Blitz would have killed him anyway just for being named Dennis). And finally, the most important (and strangest) target: Cuddles, the shark, because apparently ‘Fuck Cuddles’ (Not sure why we’re killing a shark. She was killed by piranhas).
It was getting closer to closing time in the human world. Since Blitz wanted to get back to hell as soon as possible, they were going to split up. Loona would get the manager. M&M would get the cheaters and shark (Again what the fuck did the shark do?) And Blitz would personally deal with Dennis.
Loona transformed into her human disguise and went to the management office, which looked more like a beat-up trailer home than an actual office. Banging on the door, a middle aged, balding fat man opened it.
“I’m here for a job interview”, Blitz heard his daughter say as the man let her inside, before moving to his target. Through the shadows of the window of the trailer, Melvin backs up in panic. He is holding the bleeding remains of where his hand had been a few moments ago. The poor bastard gives a horrified scream as a hellhound bites his head off, leaving blood spattered across the window.
One down four to go.
*****
Moxie went for the two cheaters. Chad looked like blonde surfer dude wearing a too large security uniform. He was flirting with a big busted, red head, wearing a khaki uniform holding a steak above a large tank. From his hiding place he took aim.
BANG
He fired once at Chad’s crotch, just to let the cheater suffer before his death. Hearing him wail out in pain, Jodi panicked. “All right scumbags. This is for ruining the sanctity of a not yet marriage” Moxxie fired again.
BANG BANG
The two fell into the piranha filled water, where their remains were eaten clean.
Never too far from her husband. Millie was in a death battle with a large shark. It tried taking a bite out of her, but she narrowly escaped. Swinging her ax underwater was a challenge she soon learned. As soon as the shark came back for her, she swung her battle ax with all her might. Soon, the tank turned red with blood as the remains of a shark floated up to the surface. Millie jumped out in victory
“Yeah! Woohoo! In your face, you toothy bastard” the female imp cheered in victory.
“... uh honey? That’s not Cuddles… he’s over there,” her husband said gently, pointing to a tank on the other side of the room. Sure enough, there was a shark (who was looking a bit scared) in another large tank. Right below the tank, was a plaque that said ‘HI! I’M CUDDLES’.
Millie looked at the tank she jumped out of. The plaque there said ‘HI! I’M SNUGGLES’. With a sheepish grin she whipped out her battle ax and dove right in into the panicking sharks’ tank.
Four (or is it four and a half?) down. One to go.
*****
Meanwhile...
In the aquarium giftshop, Blitz snuck along the merchandise. Hiding in the t-shirts, camouflaging himself in the plushies, and somehow blending in with a cardboard standee of a mermaid.
There was Dennis, counting out the register while putting a few bills in his pocket. Blitz did not like the look of this guy. He looked like a greasy wierdo that would jack off to chibi anime characters.
Blitz snuck around him before grabbing onto the back of his greasy, pimply neck (eewww) “Alright you creep. This is for being a Dennis!” The imp yelled before slashing the bastard’s throat.
“Huh… that sounded a lot better in my head.” Blitz said to himself as his target lay there dying, gurgling in his own blood.
Blitz took out his phone. In hell time, it was around 3:45 pm. He got two text messages since he checked this morning. His heart skipped a beat, then fell as he opened them to find a message from his best friend and another from Via, none from Stolas.
He decided to open Fizz’s message first.
<Fizz to Blitzo>9/15 9:18am : I’m sry Blitzo :( nythng I can help wth?:
<Blitzo to Fizz> 9/15 3:44pm : nt rt nw. myb l8r. thnx:
Blitz texted back, before opening Octavia’s message.
<Via to Blitzo> 9/15 9:47am :He’s still out if that is what u r asking. Your spelling is bad btw. Vassago says u can come over later to visit if u want 2:
Well, he didn’t care if he had Vassago’s permission or not. He was going to come over anyway to visit his favorite owl.
<Blitzo to Via> 9/15 3:49 pm: B ovr sn. Hav u 8 yet? I cn brng Pza r somtin if u wnt:
Blitz put his phone back in his pocket. Looking at the postcards displayed right next to the register, he saw one that had some baby penguins. (They kinda look like Stolas from when we were kids. Well, I am in a gift shop. Maybe I should get him a gift for when he wakes up. That’ll sure make him feel better).
Now what should he get him... maybe a snow globe or a mug? … nah too tacky. Necklaces or t-shirt… nothing he could see the owl wearing. A postcard perhaps (ok you could do a lot better than that, Blitz).
Maybe a book about the fish here? Stolas loves reading, after all. He went to a bookshelf at the corner of the room. Picking a book up he realized that it was mostly a picture book with a few fun facts. (Stolas would finish this in three seconds flat… huh… male seahorses could give birth? Weird. I didn’t even know there were horses in the sea). He tossed the book over his shoulder before moving on to the other side of the room.
He went through the figurines and décor section. He saw a glass figurine of a puffin, a pelican candy dish and a canvas painting of a seagull eating an ice cream cone. (No… no. Those might be offensive. Besides the puffin kinda looks like Vassago)
Going over to the toys he found a wind-up bath toy of a clownfish (no… the pervy owl would definitely use it as a sex toy, not a bath toy) and a puffer fish stress ball (this… might work for when he was stressed from work or dealing with his bitch ex). Happy with this thought, he gave the stress ball a squeeze. It popped, filling his hands with a slimy blue goo. (Eww). Going over to Dennis, he wiped his hands on the employee’s blue uniform.
Only one area left. The plushies. “Octopus… no, too kinky. Carp… too boring. An anglerfish, who would even want this?” he muttered to himself. And then he saw it. The perfect gift. A lilac-colored seahorse plush about the size of Blitz himself. (Perfect).
It was Stolas’ favorite color, he could share the fun fact he learned and best of all, it was technically a horse. Happy with his selection he grabbed the stuffed animal. Exiting the gift shop, he ran into his employees. Loona was scrolling through her phone while Moxxie and a gore covered Millie came up to him. Both holding buckets of… he didn’t want to know, (is that a fin???)
“Whatcha got there?” He really didn’t want to know but he just had to.
“Dinner” Millie said proudly… yeah, he didn’t want to know after all. “Whatcha got there, Blitz?” the female imp asked.
“A seahorse” he said proudly.
“Really, sir?” Moxxie gave him an unimpressed look.
“It…it’s not for me… anyway, we all done here? Yeah? Good. Let’s go home then.”
With that he activated his crystal to open a portal to I.M.P. headquarters.
Chapter 11: Eris
Chapter Text
After they collected their payment from the client and ordered some pizzas, Blitz took M&M home. He was relieved once they exited the van (that fishy gore smell was starting to stink up the van). He was planning on picking up the pizzas, drop off Loona with a box, so she had dinner, then drive to the palace to see the birds. Instead, Loona insisted that she come too. She wanted to make sure that Via (and Blitz, though she wouldn’t admit it out loud) would be ok.
<Blitzo to Via> 9:15 5:28 pm : I hre. Hav fd. Brt Loona 2. is dor unlkd?:
Loona convinced him that it would be better if they went through the front door instead of climbing up the balcony like he usually does.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
… Surely someone should be able to answer the door, right? He rang the doorbell.
DING DONG
…. Nothing. (Huh maybe Pringles or whatever his name is went home already?)
“Oh well, guess we’ll just have to use the hidden spare key”. Handing the pizzas and plush to his daughter, the imp goes to the back of the bush on his left, picking up the fake stone he knows holds the spare key to the palace.
“Wait. You know where the spare key is? Then why do you keep climbing up the building every time you come over?” his daughter asked.
“It’s more fun that way.” He casually replied (Also helps sets the mood). As they walked through the mansion, Loona sniffed around.
“Huh that’s weird.”
“What’s weird?”
“I smell two Goetia, and a lot of plants…but that’s it.” The hell hound said.
Now that he thought about it. He didn’t see any guards or servants as well. “The servants probably just gone home for the night sweety”.
“No, I mean there hasn’t been anyone here for a while”. Okay. Now that is weird.
Turning to the kitchen he had Loona deposit the pizzas on the table. Blitz saw the candle had been removed from there … good he didn’t want to see it again.
“What kind of plant is this?" He heard Loona ask. Turning to his daughter, his face paled. She was getting really close to a carnivorous plant in the kitchen. One he knew from personal experience she should not get close to.
“Looney! No! Get away from that” He demanded before pulling her away by the tail. With the hate-filled glare and the growl she was giving him, he knew he shouldn’t have done that.
“Sorry sweetie, but you don’t want to be near that thing” he tried to explain quickly. “It will eat you. Trust me.”
~FLASHBACK~
Several months ago...
He was in the kitchen with Stolas, joining him for breakfast after a night of ‘passionate fornication’. Stolas was wearing his favorite red robe, Blitz was in his boxers.
While the owl was at the stove cooking some bacon and eggs (is him eating eggs considered cannibalism?), Blitz went to inspect the plant sitting in the corner of the room. “Hey feathers. What’s this?” he asked out of curiosity. The owl glanced up from his cooking.
“Oh! That’s Eris darling. Isn’t she the sweetest? I still need to…” he tuned out the prattling bird. Well, it was unique, looking that was for sure. To him it looked like a giant onion with eyes. (I wonder if it smells any good).
Blitz went to smell the plant when suddenly darkness surrounded him. It was so tight and moist, with something sharp digging into his trapped arms. Blitz felt himself being lifted upside down. Not being able to do more than kick his legs in the air, he screamed, hoping Stolas would hear and save him.
A few seconds later he felt the grip around him loosen. Magic surrounded him, gently lifting him out of the (literal) jaws of death. And there, upside down was the Goetia prince, hooting in laughter at his predicament. “It’s not funny, asshole!” the imp growled.
“I’m (hoot hoot) s-sorry (hoot), Blitzy.” He said between laughs. After calming down a bit, the owl spoke once more. “I did try to warn you she hasn’t had breakfast yet”. He said putting the imp down gently.
Taking a few slices of bacon, he tossed them to ‘Eris’ who gulped them down greedily, before giving her bulb a fond rub. The plant’s 'eyes' turned to the imp. A small gurgling sound came from it as he swore that it was smiling at him.
“Awe. She likes you” the owl said cheerfully, ignoring the imps discomfort. (If this is her liking me. I don’t want to know how she acts if she hates me).
~FLASHBACK ENDS~
“Your joking” the voice of his daughter brought him out of his memory.
“I’m not. And the scariest thing is, he says this one is his tamest plant.”
Avoiding Eris, they made their way to the bedroom. Blitz knocked on the closed door. And waited. He heard shuffling and stepped back as Via opened the door.
“Hey.” She greeted the pair.
“Hey. I hope you don’t mind but a brought pizza and my Looney Tooney with me.” Blitz said, Loona scowled at the nickname.
“Oh, sure…what’s that? “She asked spotting the plush.
“A get well soon present.”
Via stepped to the side to let him in. Taking a deep breath, he smelled incense all throughout the room, making his daughter gag a bit.
“Sorry. I know it smells in here. But Vassago says that this stuff is supposed to help dad.” She explained, as they all turned their attention to the figure in the bed.
He looked…well, the same as before to be honest. In fact, he looks like he hasn’t moved at all since last night.
“Has he woken up yet?” The imp asked concerned.
“No, I’m afraid not. Vassago says once he recovers a bit more mana he should wake up.”
“Speaking of which, where is that bastard anyway” the imp asked, not seeing the parrot anywhere. Wasn’t he supposed to help heal the owl?
“In the observatory. He went to clean up from last night.”
Oh… that makes sense. He probably didn’t want the younger owl to see the horror from the ritual. And to be honest, Blitz wasn’t so sure he wanted to go up there again as well.
“Well why don’t you and Looney go down to the kitchen and eat. Maybe watch a movie or something. I’ll look after your old man” the tall imp suggested.
“I don’t know. Are you sure you can handle it?” Via asked. She wasn’t sure she wanted to leave her dad, but the thought of pizza and a movie was tempting. She could use a break from worrying.
“Of course, how hard can it be?”
“Well… I guess… ok. Try to get him to drink some of the water,” she pointed to a 1/3rd full bottle of water with herbs and rocks in it. “Other than that, I guess let me know if anything happens”. She said as she walked out with the hellhound. Leaving the imp alone with the prince.
Chapter 12: Confessions and Checkups
Chapter Text
“Hey Stols. How’s it hanging?” He asked the unconscious bird. No response. Not that he was expecting an answer. “I got you a present,” he said holding up the seahorse.
“I did an assassination today and this made me think of you. It’s a sea horse. Did you know that the boys have babies not the girls?” Still no answer.
“I’ll just put this right here for you.” He walked over to his vanity and propped the plush up next to the grimoire.
Coming back to the bedside, he hopped onto the chair next to the bed. The imp heard from somewhere that if you talk to someone in a coma, they will recover better. Maybe if he talked to the owl a bit, he might wake up sooner.
“I guess it’s been a while since we last spoke. A lot of stuff has happened. Where to start… me and Fizz are friends again. You remember him, right? He was at Ozzie’s. In fact, Asmodeus hired me to be his bodyguard during Mammon’s annual clown contest. Did you know that they’re in a relationship?”
*****
Sometime later…
“And the worst part wasn’t even the lumberjacks or the chainsaws. It was the damn squirrels. Those things are assholes. Running up your pants and biting places that should not be bit. Good thing Millie pegs Moxxie, so at least they got to have sex that night” Blitz finished his story. The owl still hasn’t moved. Blitz sighed. Might as well try to get him to drink something.
Not gonna lie, he was scared he was going to get another prophecy. But he did promise Via that he would take care of her dad and that meant getting him to drink some of that magic healing water.
He closed his eyes, and with a shaking hand slowly reached for Stolas. Once he touched feathers, he cracked open one eye. Looking around, he was still in the bedroom. The owl, whose cheek he was now touching, was still out cold. (No strange visions, no singing, no new prophecy… Phew…)
Gently he opened the owl’s mouth. Then he grabbed the crystal and herb filled water bottle from the nightstand, uncapping it. Carefully, he lifted the owl’s head and poured the water. He missed his mouth a little but managed to get some water in there. Placing the bottle down the imp closed Stolas’ mouth and gently rubbed his throat, like he had seen last night, until the owl swallowed.
“You better be getting better soon asshole. Via needs you. I… I need you” the imp told Stolas, gently lowering his head back down onto the pillow, half expecting the owl to wake up to his confession like in one of those Hella- Novellas Stolas likes so much.
“You know, or maybe you don’t, but I visited you… At the hospital. Well, kinda… They wouldn’t let me in your room, so I climbed up to your window at night. It was easier that way. You were asleep. Or at least I think you were. I could have unlocked the window and come in. But I just… couldn’t. I couldn’t face you after I failed you. You must understand, Loona needed her shot, and I thought you could handle it” the mottled imp tried defending himself. Tears formed in his eyes as he looked down on Stolas’ still frame.
“…I’m sorry… I should have been there for you. I screwed up, I know. I always do. But please… Wake up already dammit. Come on Stols. Don’t make me say it. I...” He cut himself off when he heard the door behind him open. Quickly he wiped his tears away before turning to see Vassago entering the room.
“Via's with my daughter, Loona, somewhere in this place. There’s pizza in the kitchen if you want,” the imp said.
“I am aware. I saw the two watching a movie. Loona seems like a wonderful young lady.” Vassago replied.
Blitz smiled at that. He loved his daughter. And he loves it when other people say nice things about her. He noticed the parrot giving a questioning look behind him. Turning, he saw the seahorse.
“It’s a gift” the imp explained.
“Ah.”
“Say Vassago, mind if I call you Vas?”
“I would prefer you di…”
“Where is everyone?" Blitz continued, not bothering to let the parrot finish. " I mean the servants and guards and shit. Loona said she couldn’t smell anyone.”
“They have been sent away to Stella’s.”
“Why? Shouldn’t there be at least one person here to help with the cooking and cleaning?”
“It's partially due to the divorce, but mostly we do not want anyone Stolas hasn’t approved of to be here at this time, in case someone sabotages his recovery.”
“The hell’s that supposed to mean?” Why would anyone try to hurt him while he was ill? Especially if he was the one paying their salaries.
“Years ago. After a lunar ritual like this, Stella interfered with his healing.”
“What did she do? Throw a bucket of water on him or something?” Blitz already didn’t like the owls ex, but what could she have done that was so bad that no one was allowed here?
“If only that.” The red Goetia turned to the leather trunks in the corner, opening one, searching for the supplies that he would need.
“She tampered with Stolas’ medicinal herbs, put toxins in his food and drink, was abusive to him when he had no energy to defend himself, had her brother try to convince the council that I was failing as Stolas’ keeper and should be replaced by whoever Stella deemed fit. Stolas… nearly didn’t make it.” He explained, as he took out a first aid kit, some weird looking scissors, and a small cloth bag.
“It wasn’t until after she exposed Octavia to his condition that I was able to convince the council to send her away. Some of her servants testified against her to help my case, however Stella had them fired shortly after. Once the council saw Stolas recovering after she left and with the evidence against her, she was found guilty.” Vassago said opening the trunk on the right of the first one.
“She should have been sentenced to a harsh punishment, but her brother, Andrealphus, convinced the council to give her leniency.” the parrot continued, as he held up two vials of liquid, one pink and one blue, examining them.
“Instead of facing a greater punishment she rightfully deserved, she was banished from the palace during any and all lunar rituals. She was ostracized for a while by the members of the court, but eventually, she was able to convince some that she was trying to help her husband.”
“Because of the divorce, the servants divide their time between two houses. We do not want someone who is loyal to her to try anything with him during the ritual or while he recovers.” Vassago put the blue vial back, before getting up, returning to the bed, supplies in hand.
“She tried killing her husband and got away with it? She hated him that bad, even back then?” He was seething. It was one thing to poison Stolas. But to use his own child to hurt him? That was fucked up.
Vassago, looked down at the imp. “I’m not sure that it was just her hatred of him. Stolas and I have been considered enemies with her brother, Andrealphus for quite some time. Should I, as Stolas’ keeper, not be able fulfill my duties, then Andrealphus could use that against me for political gain. Stolas dying would just be a bonus for Stella” he explained.
He turned back to the still form on the bed. “I’m going to tend to his wounds and check his mana levels. You don’t need to be in here if you don’t wish to” the Goetia explained.
“It’s fine. I can handle it.” The assassin reassured him. “By the way, you said you are his keeper before. What is that?” asked the imp.
“It is one of two roles during powerful rituals such as these. The vessel, and the keeper. The vessel, which would be Stolas, is the one performing the ritual. They are the ones responsible for making sure that the ritual is done correctly and to gain the best possible outcome of whatever they partake in.
The keeper, such as myself, is someone the vessel trusts with their life. Their job is to intervene if there are complications with the ritual and to make sure that the vessel makes a full recovery afterword.” The parrot explained as he removed the blanket covering Stolas.
“Stolas and I have known each other for a long time. He has always been an ally to me when I have been surrounded by enemies. The level of trust we have is quite strong. He always chooses me as his keeper, just as I choose him as mine”. He said as he picked up the scissors.
The bandages on his stomach looked clean but the ones on his arm were the exact opposite. They were soaked through with something grey. The imp really hoped that it was some sort of ointment that soaked the bandages.
Using the scissors, the parrot demon cut the stomach bandages first. The area where Stolas had been stabbed was a bit darker than the rest of his torso. Vassago gently moved the feathers in that area around until he could see skin. The injured skin was darker than the surrounding area, looking like a healing burn rather than a large cut. “Mhh...hmm,” was all that the parrot said prodding a few places before gently removing his hand.
“No bleeding, no swelling, no signs of infection. This one is healing fine.” Blitz sighed in relief. Until he remembered that this was the one Vassago said didn’t worry him as much as the other issues. The parrot decided that he was healed enough that he no longer needed bandages for that area.
Vassago worked on cutting off the bandages around his arm next. As the last bandage was removed, the imp paled. Being an assassin, he has seen his fair share of gore. In fact, he usually is the cause of it. But this? This was somehow worse than what he should be used to.
The wound was deep, deeper than a supposedly nearly healed wound should be, and definitely infected. The area surrounding the wound was inflamed with a darker, veinlike pattern that went all the way around his upper arm. The wound was oozing something sickening silvery instead of healthy black blood. There was a horrible smell coming from the wound as well. He was going to be sick.
“If you are going to throw up, then go to the bathroom and do it. He doesn’t need to be covered in your puke.” The parrot told him without looking up as he cleaned the wound with the pink potion he took out earlier. Blitz turned away for a minute, taking several deep breaths until the nausea passed.
“How… how did this happen?” the imp asked.
“A few months ago, Stolas was kidnapped and tortured with a blessed weapon” (Striker! I am sooo going to kill that fucking bastard!)
“While most of his wounds had healed, this one had not fully recovered. There may have been some traces of the blessed essence still in his body before he started the ritual. I fear the magic he was doing had reversed his healing and made his injury worse. I have Octavia helping me with an elixir that should help rid the taint, however it won’t be ready just yet.” The parrot explained
Blitz finally turned back to see Vassago finishing up dressing his wound. Satisfied with the work, the parrot put the scissors, vial and first aid kit to the side before removing the pillow supporting Stolas’ head.
“What are you doing now?”
“I told you earlier. I’m going to be checking his mana. It won’t hurt him, but he should be lying flat to get an easier reading” Vassago said as he opened the small bag. Taking seven flat stones. Each stone was a different color with a golden symbol etched on each one. They look like those chakra stones he’s seen before at Stylish Occult, when he was trying to find an adoption day present for Loona.
Vassago placed the stones along a line on the right side of Stolas’ still form. Placing a red stone at about crotch level then, an orange stone a little higher up. Followed by a yellow, green, light blue, indigo and finally a purple stone next to the top of his head.
Then with his right hand he placed two fingers on the owl’s groin. (The fuck is he doing??? Is he trying to molest Stolas???). The imp forced himself to calm down as the parrot slowly started to drag his fingers up Stolas’ body in a straight line, the runes of the stones glowing as his fingers went past them. Coming to a stop at the top of his head, where the purple stone was next to. Leaving his fingers there. Then taking his left hand, he placed it on the owl’s crotch. (Breathe Blitz. He’s helping Stolas. He ain’t molesting him.)
The red stone lost its glow as the parrot moved his hand up but came to a stop just barely above where he first started. “Hmm…3%. That’s not good” the parrot muttered. Removing his hands, the stones lost their glow.
“Wha? What’s not good?” The imp asked as the parrot picked up the stones, placing them back into the bag. He hated asking all these questions, but he really wanted to know what was going on.
“It means he is not recovering his mana as well as he should be. By now his mana should be at 15% at least. I fear that the infection is causing complications to mana recovery. If it doesn’t regulate properly, he will be in danger of mana poisoning”. The parrot explained as he placed the pillow under the owl’s head. “Once the elixir is ready, I will hopefully get the remaining essence out of his body. Then, he should make a swifter recovery.”
Blitz looked up at the parrot demon, noticing the large bags under his eyes. He looked as exhausted as Blitz felt.
“When was the last time you slept?”. The imp asked suddenly, catching the parrot off guard, pausing as he was placing a blanket over the owl. He was not expecting any questions regarding his well-being.
“Not since the night before, why do you ask?”
“Just that you look like shit. Don’t give me that look. I mean that you could use a break. Why don’t you eat and get some rest. I can look over feathers here for you tonight.” Vassago gave him a look and if Blitz didn’t know any better, he would say that he saw his eyes glowing behind his gaudy gold glasses. “Besides Stolas won’t get better if you pass out from exhaustion.”
“Sigh… very well. I will take you up on your offer. Thank you.”
He turned to leave. “Before you go, I do have one last question.” Vassago stopped right at the door, looking back at the imp.
“You said that he dismissed his staff because they weren’t trusted. So why am I here? Why are you letting me, someone you just met, stay with him. Not that you can’t trust me or anything…” he added quickly. “Just curious is all”.
The taller demon thought for a moment about the best way to answer this question. “Because Stolas cares for and trusts you. He told me himself”. that caught the imp off guard.
“There are very few he can truly trust and care about. You and your employees are amongst those few. But you, in particular, are very important to him. He’s always thought very highly of you, you know. And if he trusts you with his life, then I should as well. Goodnight, Blitz. Wake me if his condition changes.” And with that the parrot left, closing the door behind him.
Blitz turned to look at Stolas “Is what he said true? You really feel that way about me, Stolas?”
There was no response.
Chapter 13: Intruder Alert
Chapter Text
It was still dark when Blitz suddenly woke up from his spot at the Goetia’s bedside, not sure exactly what woke him up (he didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep). The lights were off, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. A plate with a now cold slice of pizza was sitting on the nightstand next to him. Maybe Vassago was here? Or Via?
(Sigh…whelp. I gotta pee.) Hopping off the chair he stretched, trying to get the kinks out of back and neck. That chair is not made for sleeping in.
“I’ll be right back, sleeping beauty. Gotta take a piss” he told his unconscious patient before heading to the bathroom. Not bothering to turn on the bathroom light, he went to the toilet and let himself go.
The imp was about to flush when he heard a noise. It sounded like a door opening, followed by the ruffling of curtains. Someone was in the room, coming from the balcony if he could guess. Thanks to his time as an assassin, he could hear the telltale sound of hooves scurrying on the marble floor. An imp.
He reached for his gun from his jacket, he quietly exited the bathroom, andwas greeted by the sight of an imp. They were taller than Moxxie, but shorter than himself. Whoever it was, they were dressed completely in black, with the only parts of their body uncovered were their crimson tail and glowing, yellow eyes.
The intruder was standing on the bed, near the owl demon’s head. Blitz continued to sneak toward the strange imp, who hadn’t sensed his presence yet. Watching as the intruder removed a small backpack to take out a syringe. Blitz didn’t know what was in it, but it based off the glowing, golden liquid inside, it couldn’t be good.
“Step away from the bird, scumwad” he threatened. The intruder jumped a bit, before turning to the armed imp. They whipped out a weapon of their own. Blitz’s eyes widened. An angelic knife.
“I wouldn’t shoot if I were you, you might make me nick him. Would be a shame. He’s got such a pretty face.” The imp (a female imp, judging by their voice) threatened pointing the tip of the blade to Stolas’ face.
“Now you just stay put. I’m just gonna give him a little shot is all. Don’t worry. He won’t be suffering for long” she said inching closer to his owl (Crap).
While she was blathering Blitz spotted something that could help him; a suspension device, hidden in the bed’s canopy. On some of their full moon nights, he would bind the slutty owl and have him dangling from it. Since it's a favorite of theirs, and a hassle to set up, they just left it there, hidden behind the cloth of his canopy. Blitz had an idea.
“Fine. I guess if you’re trying to make him feel better, then maybe I should give you a hand” he said as he fired his gun.
BANG
The chain holding the suspension device broke, causing its thick, leather strap to come down, smacking the female imp in the back of the head. Having her drop both the syringe and the knife. Blitz lunged for her, throwing her off the bed with all his might. She quickly regained her composure and attacked him in retaliation.
They wrestled around like a bunch of angry cats clawing, hissing and biting each other like there was no tomorrow. Blitz grabbed the mask she was wearing at some point, yanking it off, revealing an imp in their mid-twenties with a dark, pixie haircut and two scars running down the left corner of her mouth.
They continued to fight until she landed a cheap shot at his crotch. While he clutched his groin in pain, she tackled Blitz. Pinning the mottled imp down, she started choking him. (Damn, she’s stronger than she looks).
“I heard rumors that a Goetia was fucking an imp. That you? Awe... did da widdle pwayting catch feewings for a biwdie?” She mocked.
As his vision darkened, he started to feel around, hoping to grab something, anything, to get her off. Luckily, he touched something with the tips of his fingers.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to take good care of him for you. So you can go ahead and die in peace” she squeezed harder. Inching the item he was touching closer to his reach, he grabbed it and with all his might, hit her with it. She screamed as she let go of her enemy to grab her wounded shoulder.
The angelic knife. That’s what he grabbed and stabbed her with. Scrambling away, trying to catch his breath, he aimed his gun at her.
Click…click… (Damn, out of bullets).
She yanked the knife out of her arm and lunged at him. Just as he thought this was the end, she started glowing red, hovering in the air, before being thrown to the wall on the other end of the room with force, causing her to drop the knife.
Blitz, turned around and there was disheveled looking Vassago, wearing an orange bathrobe and glasses missing. Holding out his hand, he used his magic to restrain the intruder as he walked toward her. She looked up into his murderous gaze before being turned to stone.
“Are you all right Blitz?” the parrot asked.
“I think so” he said, rubbing his sore neck, turning around as the lights flicked on and saw the girls in the doorway, looking tired and alarmed, but safe.
“What happened?” Loona asked. They had fallen asleep on the couch when they heard a gun go off.
Is dad ok?” Via asked, seeing the stone imp and her weapon.
“I think so” Blitz walked back to the bed. Stolas hadn’t been cut, that was good. But his eyes widened in horror when he found the syringe. The needle completely disappearing into his neck.
(No…please no…nonononononono!)
Vassago, noticed his distress and saw the syringe. He picked it up, examining it.
“It’s alright. The cap is still on the needle, see?” He held it up for the imp. Sure enough, there was a slim plastic covering the needle.
“It just rolled under him. He wasn’t hurt” the parrot reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. the mottled imp sighed in relief. “You did good, Blitz. He was right to trust you.”
“Loona, can you smell if there’s anyone else in the palace” the parrot asked the hell hound.
“On it” she headed out to the hall, started sniffing around. Vassago went to check the balcony as Via was putting some healing salve Vassago packed on Blit’z scratches and bruises.
The parrot demon had placed a ward on the balcony door the evening before, after Via went to bed, yet somehow it was unsealed. Other than the caster or very powerful magic, very few things could break a ward.
He found what he was looking for on the ground. It was a displacement crystal. This small, red crystal had enough magical properties to unseal wards. But displacement crystals are very rare and only those with a knowledge of magic know what they are and how to use them.
Whoever this intruder is, had to have been hired by someone with a knowledge of magic, someone who could afford such a rare magical artifact. Someone who wanted Stolas dead.
“I don’t smell anyone” Loona returned after a while.
“Excellent. I am going to put up a barrier around the palace to prevent this from happening again. It will be stronger than the last ward I placed. However, we may need another line of defense, just in case someone slips past it somehow.”
“What about M&M? What if they came here?” Loona suggested.
“Great idea Looney Patooney” his daughter growled at the nickname.
“They are the others from I.M.P., Moxxie and Millie. They saved dad when he got kidnapped” Via explained to the parrot. Vassago nodded approvingly.
“Great! I can go grab them real quick. But… uh… what about her?” Blitz asked, pointing to the stone imp.
“I will be dealing with her. She will know what happens when you make an enemy of Ars Goetia.” Vassago said menacingly as he used magic to lift the intruder, her backpack and weapons, walking out the door.
“Um, what’s this?” Blitz looked to Via, standing by the bed, holding the strap to the broken suspension device.
“Oh. Um, that… Well… you’ll learn when your older” was all the imp said before opening a portal and jumping in.
*****
Vassago brought the petrified intruder into an empty, windowless room. At one point it could have been a closet perhaps, given the smile size.
He went through the backpack. There was blessed rope, two more displacement crystals, four syringes filled with that strange liquid, two vials labeled angel blood (a poison so lethal that a small dose would be fatal to even a healthy Goetia) and written orders. He recognized the seal and the handwriting on the paper. He had enough evidence to bring them down, but he wanted a confession from the imp, just in case the evidence he had was not enough.
Setting her in the center of the room, he pulled out a small, recording device, setting it against the wall. Then, using his magic, he unpetrified the imp’s head.
“You have made a grave mistake imp. You have attempted to take the life of a Goetia. Talk and I might let you live.”
“You can’t scare me” the imp spat defiantly.
“Can’t I?” Vassago’s eyes glowed as he allowed nightmarish visions to enter her mind. She saw her loved ones dying in agony, felt hellfire burning her flesh and bone, heard agonizing screams around her. She screamed and begged him to stop. After a few seconds, but an eternity for her, the nightmare stopped.
“That was just a taste of what I can do to you. Now. Talk” he demanded.
“Okay, okay. I was hired by two other Goetia. They wanted him dead but wanted to make it look like he died of sickness or something. I was told to hide a bottle in with his medicine to make it look like his nurse or whatever done it.”
“And these two other Goetia are…?” He waited for her to continue.
“One was blue, cold like ice. The other was a real mean lady.”
“Their names. I want their names” Vassago demanded, eyes starting to glow menacingly.
“I don’t know. They never said. The lady kept calling my target cheating bastard though. Kept spewing about divorce.” The female imp replied hastily. She did not want to go through the parrot’s torture again.
“I see. There is nothing else?”
“No, that’s it I swear.”
“Then you are of no further use to me.”
“Wait…please let me go now. I won’t do anything else to the bird. I swear it. And you… you promised you’ll let me live.”
“Actually, my dear, I said I might let you live.” Vassago corrected as he turned away from the imp. Using his magic, he destroyed her stone body. He heard her scream before hearing the clatter of stones, and the sound of a head rolling on stone.
He collected the recorder before heading out of the room. He felt he had enough evidence against his foes and had administered justice for Stolas and Blitz.
No one makes an enemy of Ars Goetia.
Chapter 14: M&M Arrive
Chapter Text
Ominous organ music
Moxxie hit the decline button on his phone, before starting to drift off back into the sweet blissfulness that is sleep.
Ominous organ music
“Groan… what is it sir” Moxxie answered his phone drowsily, not bothering to open his eyes. He knew it was his boss calling. Who else would call this late at night?
“We got a very special job Mox, and no you can’t refuse.”
“Groan… Can’t it wait til morning?”
“Nope. Now get your asses out of bed and start packing. It starts now.”
“Ugh…fine” the imp answered annoyed, before realizing something. His connection sounded echoey, like Blitz was really close by.
“Hey, where are you calling from anyway?” he asked sitting up, only to come face to face with the taller imp standing on the foot of their bed.
“… of course,” the white-haired imp said unimpressed.
*****
It took less than an hour for M&M to pack their belongings (way longer than what Blitz would have liked). Once they heard what happened to the prince that night, and how much Vassago was willing to pay them (free board and bed during their stay, access to most places of the palace and their amenities to use as they wish, with some restrictions of course, and a big enough paycheck to pay for two years’ worth of rent each), they agreed to help protect the Goetia. (They would have agreed even if they weren’t getting paid. They liked owl prince and princess).
The married couple packed their clothes, toiletries, weapons, Moxxie’s guitar, and the “leftovers” from yesterday’s mission, (just so it wouldn’t go bad). As they were packing, Blitz teleported to his own apartment to pack for himself and Loona, packing clothes, toiletries, a spare phone and charger, extra weapons and bullets, and of course, his favorite Spirit hoodie the owl gave him.
“Are you two done yet? I’d like to get back to the palace sometime today” the mottled imp grew impatient.
“All set Blitz.” Millie said cheerfully. Blitz nodded, opening a portal to the palace’s living room, where Vassago was waiting for them. Turning to the married pair, he greeted them with a smile and gave a slight bow. (Am I seeing things or were his eyes glowing just a second ago?)
“Allow me to introduce myself. I am Vassago of Ars Goetia. Thank you for coming at short notice.” Vassago introduced himself.
Moxxie bowed, and Millie curtsied back. Blitz gave a confused look at the parrot. He seemed friendlier to M&M than he was to Blitz.
“I am Moxxie Knolastname. And this is my wife, Millie. We’re happy to help your highness,” the white-haired imp responded.
"I trust your employer explained the reason for your being here?” both the imps nodded.
“Excellent. I am going to put up a barrier around the palace. The magic will recognize all who are in it as safe to be here. You are free to come and go as you please, however no one else will be able to enter the premises at all until the barrier is shut down. Do you all understand?” The parrot looked at all three imps who all nodded. Vassago opened a red book, his own grimoire, flipping the pages to a spell.
Closing his eyes for a moment, he muttered an incantation. A bright yellow light emitting from his body. The light spread around them, giving the imps a tingling feeling as it spread around the room. A few seconds later, the light disappeared.
“It is done. A barrier has been put up. I suggest the two of you retire for the night. I will show you to your quarters. This way please” the Parrot gestured for the couple to follow him. Blitz went in the opposite direction toward the prince’s room. He could figure out where M&M were staying later.
Entering the room, he found Octavia and Loona, keeping vigil of Stolas. “Ok everyone’s here and Vassago put up a barrier. We should be safe for now. Why don’t you girls go back to bed. I’ll take it from here. Looney, can you put these in our rooms?” He handed her two duffle bags. She could figure out who’s is who’s. Taking the bags, and with a final ‘goodnight’, the girls left.
Blitz let himself look around the room. Looks like the girls put the place back together while he was gone. The room was cleaned up and the suspension device taken down. He felt a small twinge of sadness seeing it gone. They had quite a few fun nights using that thing. He turned off the lights, went to the chair, determined to keep vigilant in case someone else tried to break in again. After a while, exhaustion took over him and Blitz fell asleep once more.
*****
Two days later…
“Remember, not too big, you do not want it to burn the poultice” Vassago advised Octavia. She was holding a bottle like the one they’ve been using for Stolas to drink. There were some colorful medicinal herbs floating around and various colored crystals in the bottom of the bottle. And a large, moss colored green ball floating in the center surrounded by water. She was using a magic flame from her finger to heat the bottom of the bottle.
“Yawn…sup bitches” Blitz announced walking in the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. Getting a little close to Eris He heard her gurgle, causing him to jump back.
“No!” he scolded the plant, pointing at it in warning. Walking backwards toward the coffee pot, he did not break eye contact with her until he was a good distance away.
After pouring himself a mug that was near the coffee pot, he sat next to Millie, grabbing himself a bowl of marshmallow cereal from one of the boxes sitting at the table. “Watcha doing?” he asked, noticing the owl trying to light the bottle.
“Finishing up an elixer for dad” Blitz watched as the green ball dissolved, making the clear liquid inside turn to a sickly green. It reminded the mottled imp of a kale smoothie he stole from Moxxie once. He had taken a sip of that gross drink before throwing it out the window, much to his employee’s dismay.
“Now invert it seven times exactly” Vassago advised. The owl did as she was told, before handing it back to the elder Goetia. He had what he needed prepared for a second try should Octavia fail this, but he wanted her to learn how to make this elixir for future reference. Vassago opened it and poured a small amount onto his fingers. After inspecting it, he turned to the teen with a proud smile.
“Well done. Your father will be proud”. The owl beamed up at that.
“Blitz, I may need your help with the next part after breakfast,” the parrot explained after wiping his fingers clean.
“Uh, ok, sure.”
“If all goes well, Stolas should wake up today. Via, I will need you to…” Blitz tuned him out. (We’re gonna wake him up? Can we even do that?)
“I can make him something to eat, your highness.” Moxxie’s voice broke Blitz out of his thoughts. “I am a pretty decent cook if I do say so myself.” As if they didn’t already know. Moxxie had taken over most of the cooking since arrived.
The white-haired imp had stored the couple’s ‘leftovers’ in the freezer so he could make a particular recipe he thought the sick Goetia would like and now was the perfect time to use it.
“I can help Via with the herbs. I got a pretty good nose so we could find them quicker.” Loona offered.
“Mind if I tag along? I haven’t been in the greenhouse yet. And if I know my Moxxie, he’s going to need some specific herbs and spices for this recipe” Millie asked.
“Then its settled. We will see you all later then. Blitz, when you are done with breakfast, come up to the room.” Everyone nodded in acknowledgement, as they turned to leave for their tasks. Blitz ate his cereal and downed his coffee as quickly as he could.
“It’s great that his highness will wake up soon. I hope he likes what I’m preparing for him.” Moxxie told his boss as he took out the frozen meat, letting them thaw in sink.
“Yeah, it’s about time he woke up” the mottled imp replied, placing his dirty dishes in the dishwasher.
“Let me know if you guys need any help. I’ll come up and do what can right away sir.” Moxxie told his boss.
“Thanks Mox. Whatever you’re cooking better be delicious. Oh, and be careful with Eris. I don’t think she’s eaten,” Blitz warned before turning to leave the kitchen.
“No!” Blitz yelled at said plant, who leaned a little too close to him, giving off a gurgle.
It’s finally happening. He would finally see those four beautiful, glowing red eyes again. He will once again hear that melodic voice (hopefully not cryptically singing). Maybe he would even hear the owl call him Blitzy after so long. With that thought in mind, Blitz picked up his pace.
It was finally time for Stolas to wake up.
Chapter 15: The Greenhouse
Notes:
The moment you've all been waiting for...will be in the next chapter.
Chapter Text
The girls were in the massive greenhouse, Millie and Loona looking around in wonder from their spot near the entrance. They knew it was a large building, but it somehow seemed bigger on the inside. There were plants that they’d seen before and others they didn’t know even existed. Colorful flowers, massive trees bearing strange fruits and carnivorous plants as far as the eye can see.
“Alright, so we need Echinacea, Valerian, Mandrake, St. John’s Wart, Moly…” She began reading off a list that Vassago provided for her.
“So, are they all in like the corner or something?” the hellhound asked, taking in a large tree with white leaves and pink flowers blooming from it.
“Hm? Oh no, they are all placed wherever they would thrive best. Dad has a guide to where all the plants are, how to care for them, that sort of thing” she said whipping out a small book from her bag. Stolas, wanting his daughter to take an interest in botany, made her a very thorough guide of all the plants in his greenhouse. “It should be a piece of cake.”
Opening the guide, she showed them a picture of an Echinacea. The guide said that it should be near the entrance. “Is that it?” Millie pointed to a nearby purple flower.
“That’s it. Good eyes Mil’s,” the owl hooted, making the imp blush. Millie went over to the flower, picking it and handing it back to the owl, who then placed it in a special herb pouch. Via checked that off her list before looking at her guide to find if any other herbs were in this area before they moved on.
*****
They went to different locations within the greenhouse. Picking up the herbs on Vassago’s list as well as a few Moxxie requested for the soup he was making. When Via said that the herbs were in locations that would help them thrive the best, the I.M.P. employees expected heat lamps and sprinklers to help the plants grow.
Instead, the areas broke into different biomes. In one area a dark, moist cave, another a desert-like terrain, another yet was a winter tundra. The strangest was a wall of water filled with aquatic plants. Via went into that one herself. Millies’s favorite was a dimmed area filled with bioluminescent plants.
“Alright there’s just one last thing left and it’s in the restricted section. Dad doesn’t usually let anyone go in there without him because of how dangerous the plants are, but I think we can handle it,” Via told her team.
They made their way near the back of the greenhouse. Where, unlike the biomes, there was a small building with a locked door covered in hazard signs. Via took a key from a nearby hiding spot and unlocked it. Inside looked like a mutant jungle planet. And everything here was considered highly dangerous. From the deadly nightshade scattered around to the large plant in the center that looked like a red Eris.
“Ok so what we need Mandrake. It looks like a stick with a few leaves. Once I pull it up, plug your ears.” She told the other two who gave her a questioning look. “If they are pulled out, they let out a really loud scream that can knock someone out.” She explained as she put in her headphones. She will need them to protect her own ears.
Slither
“What was that?” Loona’s ears perked up.
“What’s what?”
“I thought I heard… never mind.”
They took a few steps forward before she stopped.
Slither
She heard it again. “Via, your dad doesn’t keep any snakes in here, does he?”
“Um, no? It’s just plants. Why do you…Screech!!”
Something wrapped around her legs, lifting her off the ground. It was the large plant that looked like Eris, dragging the poor owl to its waiting maw.
“Oh no you don’t” Millie yelled, whipping out her ax, slicing off the tendrils of the plant. Once Via dropped, she scrambled as far away as she could. Activating a red cloud paralyzing spores of some round, blue flowers nearby.
Loona jumped up and grabbed her, holding her breathe so she wouldn’t breathe in the toxins. Jumping at a safer distance, she looked down at the owl in her arms. “Are you ok?"
“Yeah, I think so… look out!”
Pew...pew...pew...
The hellhound barely had time to dodge as another of the plants fired its thorns at her like a gun shooting bullets. She rolled away, coming face to face with a plant they needed.
“There it is. Everyone, plug your ears.” Via warned before pulling out the mandrake. Loona was expecting to see some roots once the owl lifted it. Instead, it looked like a fetus with a stick on its head if she was completely honest.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Even though the hellhound covered her ears, her head was ringing, and she felt dizzy. A few seconds later, it stopped screaming, she unplugged her ears, before dodging another plant trying to grab her.
“Millie!” the hellhound shouted, waving toward the imp, who was busy dodging vines. “We got it. Time to go.”
The girls made their way to the door, avoiding the plants that were trying to keep them there. Finally reaching the door. Loona slammed it shut as Via locked it. The girls collapsed on the ground, trying to catch their breath.
“Did ... did anyone... get hurt?” Via askedd the others.
“No...I think I’m ok.” Millie responded.
"...Same.” Loona replied.
The owl pulled out her list. “Ok…that’s the last of it. Let’s head back. I could really use a shower.” She said, feeling the dirt and debris in her feathers. Her companions nodded in agreement.
Herbs in hand and the promise of a shower waiting was all the motivation they needed to get back.
Chapter 16: Wake Up
Notes:
Warning: contains cutting and slight vomiting.
Chapter Text
Meanwhile…
Blitz made his way back to the bedroom. Once inside, the parrot demon locked the door, sealing it with magic so they would not be disturbed. Then, Vassago went to one of the trunks, gathering the rest of the supplies they would need.
“I will need you to grab some towels, and a cloth from the bathroom. Also grab the wastebasket in there as well. You may need it.” the parrot demon instructed as he was perusing the different potions in his case.
Blitz did as he was asked. Returning from the bathroom, he noticed a small bowl, a sharp, silver blade, the bag of magic rocks to test mana and the first aid kit now sitting next to the elixir.
“What’s all that stuff for?” the imp asked, eyeing the blade in particular.
“As I mentioned before, I fear the infection is what’s causing his mana suppression. We are going to try to get out as much of the taint as possible.” Vassago replied, as he selected a vial of a blue potion from one of the trunks, before closing it and opening another trunk.
“How are we going to do that?”
“I will reopen the wound, then use the elixir and my mana to help draw the taint out through it.” The parrot explained, as he studied a rope in one hand and a link of chains in the other.
“What’s with the bondage gear?” Blitz asked as he saw what the parrot was holding.
“He might thrash around or try to spit out the elixir, hence why I need to bind his limbs and gag him.” Vassago explained as he tried to decide which one would be best to secure his friend.
“And I’m here because…?”
“I will need you to help me keep him still. I do not want to bind his injured arm like the rest of his limbs. I need to get better access to the wound. Your daughter may be strong enough to hold him down, but should he awaken during this, he might respond better to you”.
Yeah, he could understand that. Stolas might recognize the hellhound, but he wouldn’t be as receptive. Plus, he didn’t want his baby girl seeing this, even though she could probably handle it.
“Ok I understand. However, I don’t think what your packing would work very well.” The imp explained, causing Vassago to look up at him.
“Stolas knows how to escape from most knots, unless he’s in a full body binding or using blessed rope, which I highly doubt you have or want to use. He could easily escape from those in ten seconds flat.” The imp explained, pointing to the rope and chains in Vassagos’s hands. “Plus, a rag might not hold so well if you’re going to use it as a gag. If it’s not secure enough, he could undo it. Believe me I know”.
“Well, what do you recommend then?”
“You said I can leave this barrier thing, right? Like even through a portal?”
“Why?” the taller demon asked suspiciously.
“Just answer the question” Blitz said impatiently.
“Yes, you can commute through this barrier via portal. In times past, royals have used portals to escape from barriers in times of crisis. Anyone that was not in the barrier before its construction would not be able to enter through portals though. But you should have no trouble at all.” Vassago was still suspicious as to what the imp had in mind.
“Great! Be right back,” the imp said, opening a portal to his office. He went to the trunk that said, ‘Stolas Sex Stuff’, opening it. Vassago could only watch as Blitz tossed out paddles, vibrators and other sex toys that he really did not need to know his friend used.
“Aha!” The imp announced triumphantly. Returning to the bedroom he closed the portal and presented his items to the parrot.
They were straps made of wyvern hide, some of the strongest leather in hell. At the end of the straps were padded cuffs. He also grabbed a red ball gag, a favorite of theirs (Granted, I wish I brought the matching body harness that makes Stolas look so sexy. But now’s not the time. But the next time we have sex, he’s definitely wearing it).
“These will work. Trust me” the imp said confidently.
“Sigh… alright then. Get him bound. But not his left arm. That one you will need to hold.”
The imp did as he was instructed. Attaching the straps to the corners of the bed and the cuffs to the owls’ limbs. Had the situation not been dire, he could almost imagine this was one of their scenes. He attached the ball gag to the bird’s head, resting the ball near his mouth for now. “Ok, I’m done” he announced.
Vassago placed one towel under the injured arm, and another replaced his pillow under his head, in case of messes. Grabbing the vanity chair, he placed it right next to the bed before putting the bowl and elixir onto the edge. Finally, he cut off the bandages.
Blitz knew that the parrot demon regularly cleaned and dressed the wound, (having seen him do so himself several times with different potions and tonics) but it just would not heal. Instead, due to the blessed essence, it just got worse.
The vein-like pattern of the infection spread toward Stolas’ clavicle and down to his elbow. It still oozed that silvery substance as well, definitely caused by the blessed essence. Hopefully, if this works, the owl will heal properly.
As Vassago grabbed the knife, lifting the owl’s injured arm, Blitz looked away. He couldn’t bear to see Stolas getting stabbed. He heard the sickening sound of flesh and bone meeting metal, before looking up. The blade went completely through his arm, black blood mixed with the silver taint as it dripped onto the towel below. He looked away again, willing himself not to throw up (good thing I didn’t have a filling breakfast).
HIIISSSS
That got him to look up again. Vassago had poured the elixir through the newly made wound. The green goo was somehow steaming out of the wound.
“Is it supposed to do that?” he asked apprehensively.
“Yes,” the parrot answered, handing him the bottle. “Have him drink some of this then gag him” he instructed. The imp took the bottle and shakingly poured some of the green contents down the bird’s throat. Rubbing it until he swallowed. Then he placed the gag on, tightening it enough that it wouldn’t fall out, but not enough to hurt him.
“Is it secure?”
“Yeah. It should hold.”
“Good. Now come here and hold his arm down while I concentrate.” Blitz put the elixir on the nightstand before sitting on the unconscious owl’s pelvis, holding his arm and bracing himself for what was to come.
Vassago placed one hand over the owl’s chest and the other hovered above the wound. His hands started to glow red as he concentrated on his mana. After a few seconds Blitz felt the arm he was holding tense, tremble slightly.
“Get ready” was all the warning he got when the arm started to jerk. He quickly tightened his grip on the appendage as he felt the body underneath him jerk. And then, he heard whimpering.
The imp looked up at the owl’s face. Stolas’ eyes were still closed, but pain was etched all over his face. Blitz relaxed his grip slightly as the arm jerked again, more violently this time.
“Keep him still” Vassago scolded him.
Blitz readjusted his grip as he watched Vassago pull the taint from the wound. There was silver mixed with green being raised from the wound, magic guiding in the disgusting fluid into the bowl. Stolas’ jerking soon became thrashing, as if trying to escape. (Damn, he’s strong for someone who’s been in a coma).
The whimpering soon became muffled cries of pain. From the corner of his eyes Blitz saw the owl’s head raise. Seeing something red from his peripheral vision, he glanced up once again, coming face to face with a very much now awake Stolas.
His four red eyes were dim. Tears flowing down them freely. His normally hidden, white pupils visible with pain and distress.
Their gaze met briefly before Stolas dropped his head back down, screwing his eyes shut with pain, as he let out a muffled scream. Blitz knew he had a high pain tolerance, (they used beartraps in bed) so this must be agony for him.
He wanted to see Stolas’ eyes open, hear his voice, and have him move. But not like this. Not with him in pain and fear. He slightly relaxed his grip on his hurting lover.
“Hold him!” Vassago barked. He turned his attention back to his task, tightening his grip to minimize the movement. He can figure out how to make it up to Stolas for causing so much pain once this is over. Right now, he had a job to do.
It was hard to ignore the way Stolas was thrashing, trying to get away from them. It was near unbearable for him to try to tune out the cries of pain and fear.
SNAP SNAP SNAP
He almost let go when he heard the three snaps from the owls’ fingers. It was their safe word for when he was gagged. One is good, two is slow down. Three means stop the scene entirely. He willed himself to focus on the task at hand, tightening his grip on the arm, holding him as still as possible. (I’m sorry Stolas. Bear with it for just a little longer.)
“Almost done. Just a little more… there” He heard Vassago say, as he saw the gunk he was pulling out of him was no longer a silvery green but contained black. Using magic to guide the fluid to the bowl, the parrot took his hands away from Stolas. The owl stopped thrashing after a moment, just lying there with eyes closed, panting from exhaustion, an occasional whimper escaping from the poor owl.
“Ok. You can release him now.” Vassago said moving the bowl away. Not wasting a minute, he let go of the injured arm, hopped up to the head of the bed and removed the gag first, allowing the owl to breathe a bit easier.
Once it was removed, Stolas coughed for breath, before turning his head to the right to throw up a bit of the green gunk on the towel under him. Blitz stepped back a moment as the injured owl tried to regulate his breathing.
A few seconds later Blitz was met with four dim, red eyes looking at him in confusion. He barely heard the owl's soft voice when he finally said the one word that he's been waiting for so long to hear again.
“…Bl…it…zy?”
Chapter 17: Waking Up
Notes:
This is Stolas' POV of the previous chapter
Warning: If the last chapter hurt your heart, then this one definitely will as well.
Chapter Text
The first thing that Stolas’ brain registered was pain. It was sharp at first, then it started to burn. It was coming from his left arm. He tried to move it but couldn’t.
The second thing he noticed was pressure on the lower half of his body. Something was on top of him, holding down his arm. Was that what’s hurting him? He tried moving his right arm to push whatever was on him off, but it wouldn’t move. Stolas tried kicking his legs, but they wouldn’t move either. He was trapped. The pain was getting worse.
The third thing the owl noticed was something in his mouth. He whimpered at the pain he was feeling, wanting to tell whatever was on him to get off him, to tell it to stop hurting him, but couldn’t move his mouth to form words. He realized he was gagged.
Now he was starting to panic. (I’ve been taken again. No! Not again. Please stop. I need to escape) With what little strength he had, he tried to escape. It must be working as whatever was holding his left arm down was loosening.
“Keep him still” Stolas heard a voice from above him. (It sounds familiar, but where?) The hold on his arm tightened. The pain was getting unbearable. He let out a cry as another wave of pain hit him.
Mustering as much energy as he could, Stolas opened his eyes. His vision was blurry. The owl saw colors (mostly red, white and yellow with a little green) but couldn’t make out any shapes or forms. Whatever these colors were, they were hurting him. Stolas tried using his petrifying glare to get whatever that was to stop, but his powers were not working.
(I’m bound by blessed rope. It's the only reason why I can't move and my powers won't work). Tears fell from his eyes at his realization. (No, not again… please, not again!). As the pain grew worse, Stolas stared to thrash. Maybe he could break out of his bindings or pull his arm loose from whatever was pinning him down.
He raised his head, briefly from his thrashing. He saw the thing on top of him. It was red, black and white. A blurry shape was forming in the colors. It looked familiar.
(Blitzy? What’s he doing? Is this one of our sessions? I don’t like it) The imp must have sensed this as he closed his eyes and screamed in agony, as another wave of pain hit him. The owl felt the grip lessen on his limb. Just as Stolas was about to pull his arm away to safety, he heard the voice above him again.
“Hold him!” The grip was back. He couldn’t move it.
(No, Blitzy, I don’t like this. I wanna stop). Stolas thrashed and screamed, but the imp wouldn't budge.
(Safeword… Gotta use the safeword) Since he was gagged, he had to snap. It’s the only thing that would make it all stop. He snapped his fingers thrice.
SNAP SNAP SNAP
Now the imp would stop and give the poor owl aftercare and all the cuddles he wants. But that didn’t happen. The grip on his arm only tightened.
(Why isn’t he stopping? It hurts! Blitzy, stop... PLEASE!). Stolas thrashed more to try to get him to stop, crying and screaming in agony. It hurt so much.
Soon, he heard the voice above him speak again, but in his pain and fear induced state, he couldn’t understand what they were saying anymore. After another agonizing moment, it finally stopped.
The owl was exhausted, whimpering as the pain slowly started to recede. He heard the voice above him speak, but he couldn’t focus on what they were saying. He was going to be sick. Stolas felt the gag in his mouth come out. Turning his head, he threw up something foul tasting.
He didn’t want to open his eyes, but he needed to. He needed to know where he was, what was happening, find a way to escape his tormentors. Slowly, Stolas opened his eyes.
The red, black and white thing was in front of him now. As his vision started to come into focus, he recognized the curved horns, the red and white face.
It is Blitz. He looks concerned, worried and relieved. (What’s going on?)
“…Bl…it…zy?”
Chapter 18: Explanations
Chapter Text
“Hey, pretty bird. Sorry we had to do that. You ok?” Blitz quietly asked Stolas as he placed gentle hands on the owl’s face, wiping away the tears still running.
“Wha…” was all the owl said before his face contorted in agony, trying to hold back another cry of pain.
“I’m sorry Stolas, but I need to finish cleaning and dressing your wound.” That voice. It was the one he heard earlier. He recognized the voice now.
“Vas..sago?” He looked up, seeing his keeper pouring the blue fluid on his injury.
“Wha…?” the owl managed to ask; his voice quiet from exhaustion.
“You performed a super blue blood moon ritual. You took a month to complete it, I almost had to intervene.” The parrot explained as if reading his mind, dabbing the wound with the clean cloth, causing the owl to wince. “Your mana levels were completely depleted once you finished. You’ve been out for a several days.”
(Ah! I remember now. That explains why I feel so weak. But why is Blitz here?... Where’s my daughter???)
...Via?” He turned to the imp, who was unbinding his right foot from the bed. He recognized what was holding him now. (Why am I tied with our bondage gear?)
“Oh, she’s fine. She and Looney are in the greenhouse getting some things for you, I think. She really missed you” the imp replied. The owl gave him a smile before grimacing in pain. Blitz noticed that Vassago finished wrapping the wound, tightening the bandages so they wouldn’t fall off.
“What happened …to my arm? Didn’t I… slice my wrist… for the seal?”
“Wait, you did what now?” the imp asked looking back at Stolas. (How many other ways have you hurt yourself for this stupid thing, birdbrain?)
“You received this wound prior to the ritual. It had some of traces blessed essence from when you received it”. the keeper explained, gently releasing his vessels’ injured arm. Stolas held it close to his body with his now freed right arm, protecting it from further pain.
“Unfortunately, the blessed essence not only reopened the wound and tainted your body, but has likely affected you’re your mana recovery as well.”
“Blessed?... but then?... the prophecies!” The owl tried to sit up suddenly, but the pain and exhaustion were too much for him to do even that. He collapsed back down, closing his eyes at the sudden feelings, he tried to collect himself.
“Woah! Woah! Hey now, don’t do that feather brain.” Stolas opened his eyes to see four concerned faces of the mottled imp circling in his vision, looking down at him before merging into one. “Don’t try to get up too fast. Your gonna pass out and you just woke up” the imp scolded him.
“The…prof…ecies?” he managed to ask again. (They can’t be tainted. Please let them be all right. Please don’t let this be in vain.)
“They are fine. Stolas. I could find no traces of the blessed essence in the orb. The prophecies were not tainted.” Vassago reassured his distressed friend.
“Good” the owl relaxed, closing his eyes, trying to regulate his breathing. Trying not to pass out.
“I’m going to check your mana levels, if that is all right with you.” Vassago asked him, holding the bag of rocks. Stolas gave a shaky nod, reluctantly letting go of his injured arm so that he could lay flat on the bed. He felt Blitz hop off the bed as Vassago placed the stones near his body.
Blitz watched as Vassago touched his owl, tracing a path from his groin to his head. At this point he knew that Vassago was trying to help, keeping track of his owl’s mana, but that didn’t mean that he had to like where he was touching him.
“11%…” was all the parrot said. Blitz noticed Stolas frowning at his diagnosis.
“Hey that’s good right? It means it’s going up.”
“Not as much as it should be. His mana is returning at too slow of a pace. We don’t want the possibility of mana poisoning.” Vassago said picking up the stones.
“Stolas,” the owl looked up to his keeper at the sound of his name. “If it doesn’t improve, I’m afraid we may need to do a purification”. the parrot said solemnly.
Blitz saw the owls’ eyes widened, his white pupils became visible briefly, before he closed his eyes with a grimace. He didn’t know what a purification meant, but judging the bird’s reaction, it couldn’t be good.
“I…I understand”.
“Would you like to see Octavia now” the parrot changed topic.
Stolas opened his eyes, giving the parrot a nod. He flicked his eyes to the imp, before back to Vassago. The parrot got the hint.
“I’ll go get her for you. Blitz, could you help him dress into something comfortable? I doubt he’d want his daughter to see him naked” Vassago asked.
“Yeah, no worries”. Vassago, nodded before unsealing the door. Closing it behind him as he exited.
The imp went to the closet, grabbing the owl’s favorite red robe, before going back to the bed. Placing the robe down, he slid his hands under Stolas.
“Bear with me for a second,” he warned as he helped the Goetia sit up. “Sorry, you ok?” he asked, seeing the prince grimacing in pain, before placing his pillow behind the prince to help support him in a sitting position. After a moment Stolas nodded at his question.
Lifting the robe, he tried to figure out how to put it on the owl. “Heh… usually I’m the one taking off your clothes, not putting them on” he joked
“Blitz?” the imp paused hearing his name, looking up at the dim red eyes. “What…are you…?”
“Um, trying to figure out how to put this thing on you?” The imp interrupted the owl. He thought it was obvious what he was doing.
"No…I mean… it’s not the full moon. ...Is it? If so…” he tried to explain he wasn't well enough for their usual fun, only to be interrupted once again by a now annoyed imp.
“Don’t even think about it. You are in no condition for any of that kind of shit” the imp scolded, pointing at the confused owl.
“I… I didn’t... I’m not… why’re you here?” he finally stammered out, blush forming at the implications.
“Because. That’s why. Now give me your damn arm.” The imp ordered. Stolas gave him his uninjured arm.
“…how long have you…?”
“A few days.” He interrupted.
He hopped over Stolas’ legs to get to his other side. Grabbing the robe’s left sleeve, he tried to figure out the best way to put it on without further hurting Stolas.
“Ok. I am going to need your other arm now. I’ll be as gentle as I can.” The imp offered. Stolas winced as his injured arm was maneuvered into the robe.
“You’re doing so well, pretty bird. So proud of you” the imp offered encouraging words, not unlike during their more intense sessions.
After the robe was loosely on the owl, he went in front of Stolas, to tie it closed.
“Thank you… for everything”. Blitz paused, looking up at Stolas, seeing a grateful smile on his face.
“Uh, yeah, no worries… um, too tight?” he asked as he tied the robe. Stolas shook his head. Blitz hopped off the bed as he heard the door opening.
“…dad?” Stolas turned to see his daughter in the doorway, tears starting to form in her eyes.
“Starfire...”
Via ran to her father flinging her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Blitz noticed the wincing as she touched his injured arm.
“Dad! I was so worried. I thought you’d never wake up.” Stolas heard his daughter say.
“There, there my dear… I’m sorry I worried you…. Everything’s ok now.” Stolas told his daughter, holding her as tight as his weakened body would allow.
Blitz watched them for a moment, meeting Stolas’ gaze over Vai’s shoulders. The owl gave him a thankful smile, before closing his eyes, hugging his daughter closer to him.
Deciding to give the two some privacy, he left the bedroom, closing the door behind him.
Chapter 19: A Father- Daughter Moment
Chapter Text
“How are you feeling? Do you need anything?” His child asked.
“I’ve been better, but I’ll manage….” Stolas replied, looking at his daughter. She looked a little run down. “What about you? Are you feeling ok, Starfire? … you have something in your feathers by the way,” he said as he pulled a twig from his child’s head feathers.
“I’m fine. Just a little tired is all. I went to the greenhouse earlier to get some herbs for you. And don’t worry I’ve been taking care of your plants as well,” Via hoped that explanation was enough for her dad. She didn’t want to let him know how she hadn’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in weeks.
“Oh, is that all? What did you get?” He could tell she was keeping something from him but decided not to press the issue.
“Moly, skullcap, mandrake, sage for Mox…” she started to list off the herbs. Stolas perked up as his daughter mentioned one herb in particular.
“Mandrake? Via… you didn’t…”
“I… kinda did…” she replied sheepishly. Stolas’ shocked face turned into a stern one.
“Octavia.” She recognized that tone. It was the same one she would get whenever she did something he specifically told her not to do. Like the time she climbed a large bookcase in his office so she could play with the sextant on the top shelf. She was about to get scolded.
“I had Loona and Millie with me. We didn’t get hurt or anything,” she explained hoping that would placate her father. Stolas still gave her the ‘you are about to get a lecture’ look. “And your plants didn’t get harmed either. At least not too much.”
“I don’t care about the plants. What I do care about is that you went in there after I specifically told you not too. You know I keep that area off limits for a reason. What if you got hurt? What if you died?”
“I’m sorry dad. I just wanted to help.” She turned away from her father in shame.
He touched her face gently, making her look into his dimmed red eyes. “Oh, my Starfire… I appreciate that you did it for me. But please do not go in there without me or Vassago again. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.” He comforted his child.
“Ok dad.” She hugged him again.
(I’m going to have to have a serious talk with Vassago about allowing her to go in the restricted area).
“You mentioned the I.M.P. employee’s names? What are they doing here? Did something happen?” He grew worried. They weren’t supposed to be here unless his daughter was in danger.
Via told him about the assassination attempt and how Vassago put up a barrier but wanted extra security. Stolas’ heart fluttered hearing that Blitz saved him. Maybe he really did care about the owl.
“By the way. There was this weird thing with leather straps that we had to take down from your bed. Do you know what that was?” His daughter asked. Stolas’ eyes widened and a blush formed as he realized what she was talking about. “Dad? Are you ok? You’re a little red.”
“Oh, ah... yes… I’m fine Starfire. Those um… well… you’ll learn when you’re older.”
“Dad, I’m 17...”
“When you’re older” he reiterated.
(It’s a sex thing, isn’t it?) Seeing how this was making him uncomfortable, she was going to drop the subject, when she saw something on the floor behind him. Stolas turned his head to see what she was looking at.
His eyes widened even more, pupils dilating. His face went as red as the robe he was wearing.
It was the cuffs and gag... laying in a pile in the middle of the floor…in full view of his daughter.
“Via... that’s, uh …they… I…Umm...” Stolas stammered, trying to figure out a way to explain this. Sure, he could tell her that they needed it for medical reasons, but how to explain why bondage gear specifically.
“Dad it’s… its fine, really... I don’t want to know” she looked away embarrassed. “Um, I’m almost done working on my latest taxidermy project.” She changed the subject.
Stolas listened as she described her most recent project. It was a rabbit stabbing a knife into a pile of crows (a murder of crows). She told him some of her future project ideas, an old movie she found that he might like, anything to distract him, but Stolas was losing focus.
(She’s thinks I’m a slut. I caused her to worry to the point she’s exhausted. She placed herself in danger, because of me. Blitz had to come and save me because I couldn’t protect myself… again. I’m supposed to be a powerful Goetia, yet I can barely sit up by myself. I’m pathetic.)
“Dad…”
(Blitz is only here because he wants my grimoire. He doesn’t really care about me. Via would be better off without me. Vassago is here because of his duty as my keeper. I’m just a burden to everyone around me.)
“Dad?”
(Stella was right. I am pathetic…worthless…)
“Dad?” Stolas jumped a bit as his daughter touched his hand. He looked up at her worried pink eyes. “Are you ok?”
“Sorry Starfire, my mana’s still very low. I’m just… tired is all…what were you saying?” He asked her with an apologetic smile.
“I was just asking if you're hungry… you sure you’re, ok?” She asked him. He did look tired, but he also looked…sad.
“I’ll be fine, don’t worry. And yes, something to eat would be lovely darling.” He reassured her.
“I’ll go see if Moxxie’s done making lunch.” She stood up giving a kiss to the side of his head. “Love you daddy” she said walking out of the room.
As soon as she was gone, Stolas shoulders slumped, bringing his right hand to cover his eyes in exhaustion. He wasn’t lying when he told her he was exhausted. But what he kept from her (what he’s been keeping from her for her entire life) was about his depression. A month off his antidepressants was starting to take its toll.
He hoped that Vassago would come back soon and give him his pills. He was the only one here that knew about them.
Chapter 20: Cuddles Soup
Chapter Text
Blitz made his way to the kitchen. He found Moxxie by the stove, stirring a large pot of something that smelled so good it made his mouth water. Millie was chopping some of the meat on the nearby counter. Vassago was sitting at the table, reading a book.
“Smells good. Whatcha making?” the boss asked as he made his way to the kitchen, hissing at Eris like an angry cat as she gurgled, leaning too close to him.
“Cuddles soup,” Moxxie replied as he added some spices to his pot.
“Cuddles? Is that some sort of lover’s soup or …wait” The taller imp remembered something, seeing the meat Millie was cutting “That’s not the shark from the aquarium, is it?" He asked apprehensively.
“Yep! Its technically Moxxie’s family’s recipe for shark fin soup, but cuddles soup sounds so much better.” Millie explained cheerfully, handing all but one, uncut fin to her husband. Taking the fin, she walked to Eris.
“Careful with her, Mils” Blitz warned. He knew if Eris tried to eat her, Moxxie would shoot to get her out, but Stolas would probably be upset if one of his favorite plants was shot to death.
“Nah, she’s a sweetie,” she said as she tossed the fin to Eris, who gulped it down greedily. The imp gave her a fond rub, just as he’d seen the Stolas do before. Eris made her strange gurgling sound as she eyed the mottled imp. (Why does everyone think she’s sweet? She wants to eat me).
“Where’s Loona?” Blitz asked, taking note that his daughter was missing from the group.
“She went to take a shower”. Millie responded from her spot near Eris.
“Is the soup done?” The imps looked up to see Via enter the kitchen.
“Almost, Via. I just need to add a few more ingredients and let it simmer for a little bit.” Moxxie said from his spot at the stove. Octavia insisted that Moxxie didn’t need to call her by her title, so he’s been trying to call her by her name instead.
“Need any help?” she offered.
“If you don’t mind, can you cut some of that up for me?” Moxxie used his wooden spoon to point to some lion mane mushrooms that the girls collected earlier. Vassago suggested using those for the soup, the flavors would pair well with the shark meat and the medicinal properties would help Stolas heal.
Octavia went to a drawer and pulled out a clean cutting board. Walking to the counter, she pulled a knife from the knife block and began to dice some of the mushrooms. Once she was finished, she showed Moxxie, who nodded in approval, letting her slide them into the pot.
“You're a pretty decent cook. I mean, no offense, but I didn’t think royalty cooked,” the imp told the princess.
“Dad taught me how to cook, clean and do laundry. He wants to teach me independence and how to take care of myself” she explained. Blitz perked up at that. He knew Stolas knew how to cook but didn’t think he cleaned or did laundry. Wasn’t that what his servants were there for?
“So, have you been cleaning this entire palace by yourself? For a month?” he asked.
“No, I only clean the areas I use. Bedroom, kitchen, that sort of thing. Vassago helped as well. When the servants return, they’ll take care of the rest.” She explained. (I guess that makes sense).
Blitz turned his attention to Vassago who was still reading. “Watcha reading, Vas?” he asked, using the nickname he knew Vassago didn’t like. The parrot scowled at the name, not looking at the imp.
“A book,” He replied. (It’s probably smut). Blitz decided to leave him be.
He had a feeling the parrot didn’t like him for some reason. Sure, he let him help take care of Stolas, answered all his questions, and was civil enough. But compared to how friendly he treated the others, he seemed just to tolerate the mottled imp. He couldn’t figure out why. Oh well, the feeling’s mutual anyway.
As Moxxie was finishing up the soup, Millie got out bowls and spoons for everyone, as well as a tray so they could take some up to Stolas. Loona came into the kitchen, wearing a purple bathrobe and a towel over her hair soon after. Blitz was listening as she was telling Via about a party in the Gluttony ring she got invited to. He really hoped that if she went, she would take the owl with her. With all the stress she’s endured, she could really use some fun right now.
“Soups ready!” Moxxie called out, pouring out bowls of soup for everyone. Millie had somehow cut the shark fins into tiny hearts, making it aesthetically pleasing. It looked as good as it smelled.
Blitz took two bowls with spoons and placed them on the tray. “I’ll take some up to Stolas,” he called out, taking the tray before anyone could protest, making his way up to the bedroom. Octavia got to spend some alone time with him, now it was his turn.
*****
Stolas was sitting on the bed, just as the imp left him. He stared listlessly at his hands in his lap, lost in thought.
“Soups on bitch!” the imp shouted as he entered the room.
“HOOT! … Oh, Blitz... you startled me”. The owl jumped a bit at the imp’s entrance, not expecting such a loud entry.
“My bad. Man, you look like shit. This should perk you up.” He said placing the tray on the bird’s lap, taking a bowl for himself.
“What’s this?” the owl asked, not recognizing the type of soup in front of him. Perhaps it was his tired eyes playing tricks on him, but he could swear that the contents looked like little hearts.
“Cuddles soup” the imp answered before looking up at the owl who tilted his head slightly, giving him an adorable, confused look. “Cuddles was the name of a shark. So, I guess shark soup?”
Blitz slurped up his soup strait from the bowl. The texture of the fins was weird, but at least it tastes good. Moxxie really outdid himself. While drinking his soup, he watched the owl slowly eat his with shaky, unsteady hands. Seeing Stolas struggle, Blitz put aside his own, now empty bowl, before snatching the spoon out of the owls’ hands.
“What’re you… mmphh,” Stolas was interrupted when the stolen spoon was shoved into his mouth. Once it was removed, he swallowed. He understood what the imp was doing. “I can feed mysel… mmphh.” He tried protesting only to have another spoonful of soup shoved into his mouth.
“Just shut up and eat already,” Blitz ordered. Stolas allowed the assassin to feed him in silence, happy that Blitz was taking care of him. After eating about 1/4th of the soup, he put his hand up getting the imps attention. “I think I’ve had enough darling. Thank you.”
“You sure? You didn’t eat much. If you don’t like it, I can find you something else.” He offered. The owl hadn’t eaten in so long, surely, he should eat a little more.
The Goetia, shook his head with a smile. “No, it was very good, but I’ve eaten my fill. My appetite will come back with time”. He reassured the imp.
“Alright then”. Blitz put the soup back on the tray and set it off to the side. “Need anything? Water, book, massage?” he offered. He wanted to make it up to Stolas for what he had to do earlier, even though he knew that the owl probably understood why they had to do it.
“Maybe a book for later. And if it’s not too much trouble, could you do something about that?” he looked to the bondage gear sitting on the floor. (Wait, did Via see that? That’s embarrassing.)
“Got it.”
He grabbed the gear before throwing it in owl’s closet. Who knows if they’re going to need it again. Especially if they have to do that purification thing. Finished with his task, he headed to one of the bookshelves in the owl’s bedroom. “Anything in particular?” he asked.
“Anything should be fine”.
He looked at the different titles. There were so many books to choose from. He grabbed a red one that was nearby that had a funny title: Kama Sutra: Hell’s Edition.
(This should be ok.) He went back to Stolas, placing the book in his lap. Blitz looked up to the owl, seeing him turn red, looking at the book he picked. “You ok? You got a fever or something?” he asked as he placed his hand on the owl’s forehead, trying to take his temperature.
“Um…yes but I’m, um… not well for this kind of thing, dear.” the blushing owl replied.
“What, reading? But you asked for a book.” The imp was confused. (What’s he playing at?)
“Blitz… you do know what the Kama Sutra is…don’t you?” the imp shook his head. Stolas looked away in embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck trying to figure out how to explain it to the imp. “Its… um, well… a manual…for sex.”
“You’re joking.” Blitz opened the book to a random page and sure enough, there was a very explicit image of a pair of sinners who seemed to be 69ing each other. One was bound, hanging upside down, whip marks and red candlewax littering their body while the Dom was holding a whip in one hand and a lit, red candle above their Sub. On the opposite page was a list of instructions on what they were doing.
“Why the fuck do you have this??!!!” The imp demanded, blushing from the picture alone. (Did he get this for us? We haven’t even tried this yet!)
“It was a wedding gift… from my father” Stolas answered embarrassed. “So that I could produce a precautionary heir quickly.”
“Seriously? That’s fucked up.”
“Tell me about it.” Stolas replied sarcastically.
“Ok…I’m just gonna grab something else… you don’t have any other sex books over there...do you?” he asked suspiciously. The owl shook his head. He went back to the bookshelf, hiding the Kama Sutra in his jacket to look at later. (Maybe there’s something in here I could do to Stolas once he’s better.)
Grabbing a green book, he skimmed through it. It looked like a botany book. Happy with his choice, he brought it back to the owl. “Thank you…Why is there a seahorse on my vanity?” he asked, looking at the plush.
“Oh, it’s a get-well gift. I saw it during an assignment, and I thought of you." Blitz said casually.
Stolas’ pupils dilated into little hearts. (Blitzy got me a present?) “I love it. Thank you.” He turned to the imp giving him a big smile.
The imp smiled. Happy that Stolas liked his gift. “No problem… say, did you know the boys get pregnant?”
Chapter 21: Via's Tea
Chapter Text
Blitz was telling Stolas about what he had been doing for the last month. Retelling some of his more amusing assassinations, how he was a bodyguard for Fizz and even explained how he and the other imp rekindled their friendship, but the owl wasn't really listening.
The owl was glad that Blitz had his best friend again but was upset that it was because he was captured during Fizz’s hostage situation. If he had known that the mottled imp was in danger, maybe he could have done more than try to help Asmodeus negotiate for Fizz’s return.
(I couldn’t do anything to help him. He had to save himself. He doesn’t need me. He’s probably only here because he feels obligated to.)
“Stolas? Stoolllsss…”
(I will talk to him about ending our arrangement as soon as I’m well again. For now, though, I’ll let him do what he wants and pretend he’s here because he cares for me.)
Suddenly, the mottled imp’s hand was in his face, snapping his fingers to get his attention. “Yo, birdbrain, anyone home?” Stolas perked up at that, looking over to his favorite imp.
“Sorry, you and Fizz are friends again. That’s great”. The owl apologized with a smile.
“Uh, yeah. If I’m boring you, just say it.” the imp said annoyed. He told Stolas about him and Fizz not that long ago, but he was in the middle of telling the lumberjack and squirrel story when he noticed the prince was zoning out.
Stolas’ eyes widened he didn’t mean to offend his favorite imp. “Oh no darling. You could never bore me. I’m sorry… I’m just exhausted.” The owl apologized, looking down at his hands. “Mana depletion sucks. Believe me.” he clenched his hands into fists. He couldn’t even materialize his magic right now, let alone cast a simple spell. It’s a miracle he was able to heal his stab wound without his keeper’s intervention after completing the ritual.
The imp looked at the owl in sympathy. Stolas did look like he was struggling to stay awake. (Maybe I’ll leave soon so he can take a nap. He looks like he could use one. But since he’s awake right now, maybe I should ask him.)
“There’s something I wanna talk to you about.” Blitz said, getting the owl’s attention. “When you were finishing your ritual, I… kinda touched you”.
Stolas looked at him in horror. (What the hell was he doing there? How much did he see? First Via in the restricted area and now Blitz??? Vassago had some serious explaining to do.)
“I’m so, so sorry. You…”
“It’s fine” the imp interrupted, waving him off. What happened was his fault, not Stolas’.
“But yea, anyway, I touched you and got prophesied…I’m still trying to figure out what it means” the owl turned away in shame that his magic affected the assassin. (Great I was hoping that wouldn’t have happened.)
“So, my question is, did I see the future? Will what I saw happen or can I change it?” the imp continued. Stolas thought for a moment on how to explain how prophecies work.
“Well… sort of. A prophecy shows past, present, and future. Events of the past and present are set in stone, obviously, as they’ve already or are currently happening. They are shown to help interpret the future. The future can technically be altered if one can interpret the prophecy correctly and take the necessary steps to change it. It’s one of my royal duties, to collect the prophecies and determine what they mean so we could change the future to our advantage.” The owl explained. Hoping that would be simple enough for Blitz to understand.
“If you don’t mind me asking…, what was it about? Maybe I can help you interpret it,” he offered. Blitz looked at the owl. (I guess I should tell him. He was in it after all. Besides, this is his job, he might be able to figure it out better than I can).
“Sigh… Well…” he started looking away, rubbing the back of his neck, trying to figure out how to explain what he saw. “It was about me, I think. And yo…”
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
The pair looked up to see the Goetia princess entering with a steaming cup of green tea. (Real bad timing, kid.)
“Hey dad, I made you some herbal tea,” Via gave her dad the cup. “I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with us in a little bit. You can choose what to watch.” She offered.
“Thank you, Starfire, that sounds lovely”, Stolas brought the cup to his beak with shaky hands, taking a sip. He let out a squeak, closing his eyes, at the awful flavor.
“You don’t like it?” Via asked disappointed.
“Oh n-no dear, you did good… It’s very…potent,” he said with a forced smile. She didn’t believe him.
“It’s bad, isn’t it?” she asked, taking the cup from him before taking a sip herself. With a grimace and a full body shiver she pulled the cup away from her beak. “Yep. It’s bad.”
“It can’t be that bad, you big eggs.” Blitz took the cup from the owl girl, taking a sip of his own, before spitting it out.
“SWEET SATAN’S BALLS!!! THIS SHIT’S NASTY!!!” he yelled, shoving the cup into Stolas’ hands before wiping his tongue off with his own, trying to get the very bitter flavor out of his mouth. (How the fuck can someone that came from Stolas make tea this bad?) He heard hooting laughter from behind him. Turning around, he saw the two owls laughing at his expense. He glared at them before addressing the prince.
“Why are you laughing? I’m not the one who has to drink that nasty crap…no offense kid”. He smirked as Stolas stopped his laughing to scowl at him. He even grabbed the owls’ barely eaten soup and took a swig, just to wash away that awful taste in spite.
Stolas sighed as he took another shaky sip of the awful brew, grimacing at the flavor. “I’m guessing Vassago taught you how to brew this?” Via nodded. “Figures. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s never been able to brew a good tasting tea.”
“You’re exaggerating. My tea isn’t that bad.”
(Speak of the devil…) Vassago entered carrying a cane large enough for the owl to use if he needed to later.
“Vassago. Can have word with you. In private.” Stolas asked with a serious tone. Blitz smirked. He didn’t know what the parrot did, but he knew what that tone meant. Stolas used that on him when I.M.P. got captured by D.H.O.R.K.S.
(Uh oh. Someone’s in trouble.)
Chapter 22: A Movie With Friends
Chapter Text
“Starfire, you mentioned a movie you thought I would like earlier, right? Why don’t you find it and set it up while I talk to Vassago. We will join you in a little bit.”
“Uh, sure dad. We’ll be in the living room when you’re ready. You coming, Blitz?” Via asked the imp. He looked at the adult Goetia, who gave him an expectant look, before reluctantly following along. (Aww… I wanna hear Vassago get scolded.)
Once the door closed, Stolas looked back to his keeper. “You better have a damn good reason why you let my daughter gather mandrake,” The owl said threateningly.
“I used up all my supplies for the elixir for your arm” the parrot answered. Stolas unconsciously went to grab his injured arm at the memory of the pain it went through. “And I wanted to have more in case it was needed for your recovery. I figured having her gather medicinal herbs while we removed the taint would keep her occupied enough so she wouldn’t have to witness that.”
“So, you allowed her to go into the restricted area of the greenhouse by herself? The one area you know damn full well I keep off limits to most people?”
“I did. Neither of you never mentioned that she wasn’t allowed in there, and she has been taking care of your other plants, many are carnivorous, I might add. I thought she would be able to handle it. She had protection with her, and they all came out unscathed.” Vassago explained, seeing the stern look on Stolas’ face. “I’m sorry. Next time I need something in there, I will make sure she won’t get it.” Stolas nodded at his apology.
(I guess I can’t argue with his reasonings. Afterall, I didn’t tell him she wasn’t allowed to go into the restricted area, so this is partially my fault. Besides, she’s safe and it won’t happen again. That’s all that matters.)
“And what about Blitz? He told me he witnessed the ritual. Why the fuck was he in the observatory? And how much did he see?” the owl continued with his stern questioning.
It’s bad enough that someone other than his keeper saw him in such a vulnerable and dangerous position. But for it to be Blitz of all people? At least his daughter didn’t see him like that.
“He saw you ending it. I was about to intervene and had Octavia call him to come over and collect her. As soon as she was gone, he refused to leave. I was more focused on getting to you and didn’t have much choice other than to let him stay.”
“He told me he experienced a prophecy after touching me. Did he touch me before or after I completely ended the ritual?” Stolas asked.
“It was after you ended it. The barriers from the wards prevented him from going to you until then, though he tried getting to you sooner. Once you were done, he ran over and touched you. I tried to warn him not to, but he didn’t listen. He experienced his prophecy moments later.” Vassago explained, looking down in shame.
“I’m sorry. I know I should have done something more to get rid of him, but I was more focused on you, getting ready to intervene if I needed to. I didn’t want you suffering the same fate as your predecessors.” Vassago apologized.
Stolas understood what he meant. The super blue blood moon ritual he had to perform is not only one of the rarest, most magically fueled lunar events, but one of the most dangerous. The last two vessels who performed the ritual didn’t survive.
“Sigh… I guess there wasn’t much that you could have done about him then. He’s always been stubborn and reckless.” the owl said with a fond smile before being serious once more. “There is one last thing. My pills…”
“I’m afraid you’re not well enough for them just yet. You’ve been without them for so long and were prescribed the highest dosage possible that if you take them in your current state, you might overdose. I’ve had Via gather some herbs that may help you with your depression. St john’s wort and skullcap, amongst them. I’ve had her put some in the tea for you.” the parrot explained.
Stolas frowned at that. He was hoping for something stronger, but he supposed this would do for now. He took another drink of the disgusting tea, making a face.
“Thank you… although I was serious when I said you couldn’t make a good tea even if you tried.” he said with amusement as he set it down on the nightstand.
“It’s hardly my fault you can’t handle strong tea.” The parrot said amused, happy he was forgiven for his mistakes.
‘So now that you met all of them, what do you think of I.M.P?” Stolas asked, changing the topic to something more positive.
“I must say, you have made some great friends, Stolas. Moxxie and Millie have done well to help us, and Loona has become quite supportive to Via. I’m glad for their help.” Stolas was glad Vassago approved of them and that his daughter had found a friend in the hellhound.
“And Blitz?” He was curious about his friend’s opinion of the imp. Vassago knew about how he felt about him.
“Hhmmm… he has helped me care for you and even saved you from an assassination attempt, as I’m sure you are aware at this point.” Stolas nodded. “So, I am grateful for his dedication to you. However, I find him quite crass and stubborn at times. He keeps calling me names other than my own,” the parrot continued.
“And thanks to him, I’ve learned way more about your sex life than I wish to know. Seriously Stolas, how many sex toys do you need?” The owl blushed at his friends teasing.
“You’re judging my sex life? Who’s the one that goes to gay sex clubs twice a month?” It was the parrots turn to blush.
“At least I don’t dress like soap opera characters when I go on my dates.” (Oh no he didn’t.)
“Vassago, you have an entire room, the size of this one, dedicated to glasses, yet you always wear the same pair. I’m not afraid of trying a different look once in a while.” Stolas retorted.
“It’s called a hobby, and my collection is safer than all the dangerous plants you have. And I’m not just talking about the ones in your greenhouse.”
“At least I know how to properly care for them. Remember the Sanguine Vine I gave you?” Stolas smirked, knowing he won this round.
“Ugh…you are never going to let me live that down, are you?”
“Nope!”
The birds suddenly burst into laughter at that memory.
“Honestly though, what were you thinking? Giving it an aphrodisiac?” Stolas asked, calming down a bit.
“It was an experiment. Granted, I probably should have used it on a less dangerous plant.” the parrot remembered. “We’ve both made some rather amusing mistakes though. Remember the time you accidentally spiked the wine at your brother-in-laws party?”
Stolas hooted in laughter at that memory. Andrealphus and Stella humiliated themselves in front of their guests to the point where Stolas didn’t have to host or go to one of those horrid parties for a year. And the best part: no one ever figured out he was the cause of it.
“That’s still the best party he’s hosted that I’ve ever had the misfortune of attending. We should probably meet the others so they could start their movie. I may need to use the restroom first though, if you don’t mind helping me get there.”
“Of course,” Vassago said as he helped Stolas to his feet, throwing his right arm over his shoulder he helped guide the owl to the bathroom.
*****
Blitz stood at the other end of the door. He walked with Via halfway to the livingroom when he said that he needed to go to the bathroom first and would meet everyone in a little bit. Once the owl was out of sight, he went back to the bedroom placing his ears against the door. He didn’t hear any scolding as he would have liked, instead he heard what he could describe as friendly banter and… laughing?
(Did I miss something? I could’ve sworn it sounded like Vassago was in trouble. Maybe I’m reading it wrong? Maybe Stolas just wanted to spend alone time with him. They do sound happy in there. Are they really just friends?)
The mottled imp looked through the keyhole and saw Vassago help Stolas to his feet. (Well, that’s my cue. Don’t want them to think I was spying on them.)
He portaled himself to an empty bathroom somewhere in the palace and flushed the toilet in case someone was nearby. Had to make sure he had an alibi afterall. He left the bathroom and headed to the living room.
“There you are. You took your sweet time.” Loona said from her spot on the loveseat next to the couch. Everyone except for the adult Goetia were there. Moxxie and Millie were on the floor leaning against the couch, the vomit stain he made on the rug now long gone. Via was on the left seat of the couch, next to Loona. A seat next to his daughter, two spots on the couch and a nearby recliner were left vacant. There were bowls of popcorn and drinks on the coffee table for everyone. The t.v. was on pause, the movie ready to play.
“Sorry I had to take a dump. Uh, you may not want to go in there for a while,” he lied. As he walked to the couch hopping onto the opposite end of Via.
“T.M.I. sir” Moxxie said with disgust.
He would have retorted when the last two people showed up, via portal. Stolas was leaning on Vassago for support, a cane in his hand to help hold him steady.
“Hello, your highness, how are you feeling?” the white-haired imp asked.
“I am alright. Thank you for asking. And thank you all for taking care of my daughter and I during this time” Stolas said with a smile.
“Glad we could help” Millie responded.
Vassago helped Stolas sit on the couch, between his daughter and the imp.
“So, what are we watching?” the parrot asked as he sat in the recliner
“It’s called Little Store of Terror. It’s a musical about this guy who tries to impress his crush with a man-eating plant.” Loona explained before pressing play. (Yeah, that does sound like something Stolas would like.)
It was about thirty minutes into the movie when Blitz felt something hit the top of his horns, before hearing very quiet, even hooting sounds.
(Did he just fall asleep on me? Guess he really was tired afterall. I don’t think I’m a very good pillow though. I should probably move him, so he doesn’t hurt himself on my horn. How to do this?)
Blitz glanced over to the younger owl at the other end of the couch. “Psst… Via” he whispered over to her, hoping she could help move her dad off his horns. Via seemed to notice the imp’s predicament and got up to help readjust her father. Not once did the older owl stir. Stolas was now laying on the couch, his head in Blitz's lap. A blue throw blanket draped over his body to keep him warm. Via moved to sit next to Loona as the movie continued.
Blitz ran his fingers through the owl’s feathered head as he watched the movie. He took note that the owl felt a little warm, but just figured that he overexerted himself from the day’s events.
About halfway through the movie, he glanced around. Vassago, M&M and Loona were watching the movie while it looked like Via fell asleep as well, using Loona’s shoulder as a pillow. Not long after, he felt himself drifting off.
As the movie finishing, Moxxie looked behind him to see how his boss liked the musical, only to see both him and Stolas asleep. They looked so adorable together. Suddenly, he had an idea. A way for him to get revenge for the wedding dress photo.
Taking out his phone, he discreetly took a photo of the sleeping pair. He’s definitely going to have it printed out and added to Blitz’s 'Stolas'envelope. And maybe send the photo to the owl later. Afterall, the prince liked the imp a lot so maybe he would like a copy of the photo for himself.
Once the movie finished, Vassago picked up Stolas, holding him bridal style, Loona grabbed Via in a similar manner, while Moxxie and Millie both grabbed their boss, surprised he didn’t wake up. Then again, he’s been staying up a lot at night to look after Stolas and staying awake most of the day, only to take brief naps here and there.
The group separated, taking their charges to their rooms for a much-needed nap.
Chapter 23: Date Night
Notes:
This is just a fluffy moment for our favorite married couple.
Chapter Text
After the owls and Blitz were tucked into their beds, Millie went to Stolas’ room where she found Vassago sitting in the vanity chair, reading the book he brought earlier. “Vassago?” The parrot looked up at the imp in the doorway. “I was wondering if it would be alright if Moxxie and I had a date in the greenhouse.” Vassago smiled at her simple request.
He didn’t see a problem with that and knew Stolas would agree to it. His friend was always a romantic and the fact that his friends thought his greenhouse would be the perfect place for a date sounded like something the owl would appreciate.
“That’s fine. Just be sure to clean up after you’re done and do not go into the restricted area.” He didn’t want to get scolded again.
“We won’t. Thank you” Millie thanked the parrot.
“Have fun.” She heard him call as she left to tell her husband they got permission for their date.
Moxxie and Millie decided to split up for an hour. Moxxie was making food for their date, as well as dinner for the other inhabitants of the palace, while Millie went to set up what she needed in the greenhouse.
“Everything ready, honey?” Millie came back asking her husband.
“Almost, just need to put this here… ok. Ready!” Her husband responded, as he finished packing a basket with their meal.
“Great now put this on”. Millie said excitedly as she held up a blindfold, going around her husband to tie it onto his head.
“Uh, Millie? Is this necessary?” he asked.
“Yep! Trust me, it’ll be worth it” she took the basket from her husband before grabbing his hand. Guiding the now blinded imp through the palace to the greenhouse.
*****
“Watch out for that root, honey,” Millie warned as her husband tripped over said root.
“Oooff…Uh, Mil’s, that’s the third thing I’ve tripped over. Maybe it’s best I take the blindfold off?” Her husband asked hopefully.
“Nope! It’ll ruin the surprise. Now come on. And watch out for that rock”
“Oooff!” Moxxie tripped again.
Finally, they made their way to their destination.
“Alright sweetie, you can take the blindfold off now.” With a sigh of relief, Moxxie removed the blindfold, taking in the beautiful scenery around them.
They were in the bioluminescent section of the greenhouse. The trees glowed with pink leaves, the shrubs a soft, minty color and flowers gleamed with all the colors of the rainbow and a few he didn’t know even existed. Even the ground seemed to glow a golden earthy color. Looking above, Moxxie could see stars above the canopy, even though he knew the sun was just setting when they left the kitchen a few minutes ago.
In front of the imp there was a white patio table with two chairs sitting next to each other. The table was set with cloth napkins, silver forks, wine classes and a lit candelabra.
“Oh, Millie…its beautiful!” Moxxie said, tears forming in the corners of his eyes from the sheer beauty of this place.
“I thought you might like it,” the female imp said as she led her husband to the table.
Moxxie pulled up a chair for Millie, before he took out their meal. First, he took out a bottle of red wine he knew would pair well with their meal, with a little difficulty, he popped off the cork of the bottle, filling their glasses with the wine.
Then he took out a large plate and a Tupperware container of spaghetti. He pulled his seat up closer to Millie before placing the spaghetti on the plate in front of him. They ate in relative silence, more than once, accidentally (on purpose) getting the same piece of spaghetti, eating at both ends until their mouths met for a kiss.
Once the plate was finished, Moxxie took out a small Tupperware of their dessert: chocolate covered strawberries. As the two imps were feeding the strawberries to each other, Millie noticed something. Looking up her eyes widened. Moxxie followed her gaze, his eyes widening when he realized what she was looking at.
Beautiful, yellow flowers appeared in the pink trees, blooming, releasing golden spores as they opened. “Uh, those aren’t poisonous…right?” The male imp asked his wife nervously. That would be a damper on their date.
“Hang on, let me check.” She whipped out Octavia’s guidebook she borrowed from the owl earlier, skimming until she found the trees. “No, it says they’re safe. They bloom for a few hours each day, releasing spores to help fertilize the nearby plants” she said.
“Oh, ok then. Phew.”
They imps looked around in wonder as the spores danced around them like fireflies. It was so magical. Moxxie could think of only one thing that would make this even better. He went to the basket and pulled out the last thing he packed: his guitar. Millies’s attention turned back to her husband as she heard him playing the song that won her heart.
Oh, what a thrill
When the crimson starts to spill
And myMilliegoes in for the kill
Millies eyes began to sparkle, a loving smile forming on her face.
She takes away my breath
She's the angel of death for me
Oh, Millie!
The imps looked at each other adoringly as the Moxxie continued his song.
She's my queen
It's like a dream
When I hear her victims start to scream
In and out of the sack
She's the maniac for me
Oh, Millie!
When the blood starts dripping down the walls
Millie knew what was coming and she was ready for her sound effects.
Drip, drip, drip!
Millie sang the sound effects
And the bodies start to fall
Thud!
Millie Shouted.
My heart skips a beat
When my Millie's guns a-blazing in the heat
Bang, bang, bang!
The female imp sang, making gun gestures with her hands. She loved that part.
My assassin love
She makes the murdering fun for me
Oh, la-da-dee!
The imps sat close to one another, gazing into each other’s eyes.
Of all the Imps in Hell
They both sang the next part.
It's for her/him that I fell
Oh, Millie!
Moxxie finished his song as his wife pulled him in for a passionate kiss.
This was perfect. Good food, beautiful scenery, no Blitz recording them. Just perfect.
Nothing could ruin this night.
Chapter 24: The Diagnosis
Chapter Text
A few hours later…
Stolas woke up feeling a bit worse than he had earlier. He felt hot and achy, his arm hurt, and he felt lightheaded. He didn’t think too much of it, though. Other than his injury, he always felt like this whenever he used up too much mana. Dizzily, he forced himself to sit up.
“How are you feeling?” He turned his head to Vassago, who had been reading a book from the vanity chair nearby.
“Like crap, but that’s normal. Watcha reading?” he asked his friend curiously, seeing the book in hand.
“Just a novel I brought.” He replied, holding up a blue book for the owl to see. Stolas couldn’t make out the title from where he was but could see two swords crossing and a black rose between them.
“So, smut?”
“No, it’s …what is it with you always assuming I read smut?” The parrot pretended to be offended.
“I’m just teasing. Although… now I’m positive it’s smut.” he joked.
“Well, you must be feeling better if you’re making jokes about my taste in literature. I need to clean and dress your wound if that’s ok.” Stolas reluctantly nodded, sliding the left side of his robe off enough to let the parrot have access to his arm.
“So, how was the movie?” he asked as Vassago cut away the bandages. He felt bad that he slept through it when his daughter thought he would like it. He really tried to stay awake, but he was just so tired.
Vassago looked at the wound. It looked a lot better than it had this morning. The veinlike pattern was still there but had receded back to near the wound. It was no longer oozing and looked like it was actually starting to heal this time.
“It was all right. Via and Blitz slept through it as well, so maybe you three can try to watch it again sometime.” Vassago replied as he cleaned the wound with a blue potion, causing the owl to wince. “Or sleep through it again. Whichever you prefer.” He joked.
“Speaking of which, where are they?”
“Last I knew, in their rooms taking a nap. I hope you don’t mind, but I gave Moxxie and Millie permission to have a date in your greenhouse.”
“Did you tell them not to go in the restricted section?” he asked warily. Via said Millie went in there with her earlier, but he’d rather she not go in there again. He didn’t want any harm to come to either of the imps.
“Yes,” the parrot answered as he wrapped the injury with clean bandages.
“Then that’s fine.” He responded, pulling the robe back up once the parrot was finished. He was glad that someone could have a romantic moment in his favorite place. Maybe one day, he can have one in there with Blitz.
“I’d like to get started preparing the mandrake while everyone’s occupied. Would you be ok by yourself for a half hour or so?” Stolas nodded. Better Vassago prepare it than his daughter.
“Do you need anything before I go?”
The owl shook his head. “No, I’ll be ok. Don’t let the mandrake bite your ass again.” he warned amused.
“It bit you, not me.” The parrot argued, chuckling at the memory. “Holler if you need me.” And with that the parrot left, leaving the door slightly ajar so he could listen for Stolas.
Once he was gone, Stolas looked around his room for something to occupy him for the next half hour. The owl spotted his grimoire on the vanity, right next to the seahorse his favorite imp got him. He smiled at the plush (I’m still not sure why it made him think of me, but it’s cute), before spotting his phone on his dresser. He realized he forgot to plug it in to charge before he did the ritual last month. (The battery’s probably dead, so guess I can’t use that right now.)
Sighing, he turned to the nightstand next to him. There was the now cold cup of tea Via made for him, and the book Blitz brought him earlier. There was a cane leaning against the nightstand, should the owl need it if he needed to use the bathroom or something. Seeing as there was really nothing else to do, he decided to get some reading done.
He was reading a chapter on crossbreeding Mandrake with poisonous plants, making a mental note to try it himself with nightshade, when he started coughing. It was just a little cough. Probably caused by all the incense in his room. Still, he took a sip of that awful tea to help clear his throat. It tasted worse when it was cold.
“Blech…I swear, the first thing I’m doing once I’m better is teach Octavia how to brew a proper herbal tea.” he said to himself with a shutter.
Setting the cup down, he turned his attention back to his book. A few minutes later, while reading the effects of crossbreeding nightshade with medicinal herbs, (yep, I’m definitely trying this with mandrake) he coughed again.
Covering his mouth, he coughed more violently this time. Stolas stopped coughing when he felt something wet covering his hand. He looked at it, thinking it would just be phlegm. Instead, he was greeted by the sight of black.
(That’s not good.)
“Vassago” he called out weakly. There was no answer. He wasn’t loud enough. Stolas needed to get to him at once. Reaching for the cane, he shakily stood up before another, even more violent, coughing fit took over.
Thud...shatter
The owl collapsed, hitting his head against the corner of the nightstand, the force knocking the teacup off, shattering it against the floor.
He could do nothing but cough from his spot on the floor, black seeping through the hand covering his mouth. He felt like he was coughing up a lung. He couldn’t breathe.
“…ness...right?” He heard a familiar voice, unable to see who it was or respond as he hacked up more blood.
“Mil…Sago…Ry” he heard the voice say before he felt a gentle hand rub his back as he continued his coughing. “Hold …high…ming…”
*****
Millie and Moxxie were heading to their room to finish their romantic evening with what could only be described as a night of ‘passionate fornication’, as their host would put it. They were passing the prince's room when they heard a loud noise.
Thud...shatter
Fearing another assassination attempt, they whipped out their weapons, kicking the door fully open. The armed couple looked around, weapons drawn, when they spotted the prince sprawled on the floor, violently coughing.
‘Your highness! Are you alright?” Moxxie asked as he lowered his pistols, walking slowly to the downed owl so as not to startle him. As he inched closer, he noticed what looked like blood seeping out of the hand covering his beak.
‘Shit!” He dropped his guns as he ran to the downed owl demon.
“Millie! Get Vassago! Hurry!” The male imp ordered, before his wife ran out the door, leaving the boys in the room. “Hold on your highness. Help’s coming.”
Millie ran all the way to the kitchen, where she saw the parrot not too long ago cutting the mandrake she helped gather earlier. Vassago looked up from his work as he saw Millie run up to him, panic in her eyes.
“Somethings wrong with Stolas!” was all she said, before he grabbed her. Turning into his feather form.
She was a little dizzy from the feather travel, but she faced worse. The female imp saw her husband hunched over the owl’s form, rubbing Stolas’ back as he gasped for air, black blood still coming out of his mouth.
“What happened?” the parrot demanded as he helped his vessel sit up. He’d been gone less than ten minutes and Stolas was fine when he left.
“We were heading back to our room when we heard a crash. We came in and found him like this, your highness.” Moxxie explained.
The parrot noticed the black coming from the owl’s mouth as well as the unusual heat radiating from his body. Stolas was a little warm when he was tending to his arm, but it seemed his temperature spiked in the few minutes he was gone. Vassago’s eyes widened at the symptoms. (Please don’t let it be what I think it is.)
“One of you, hand me the small cloth bag in the leftmost trunk. The other, get the round crimson bottle and lime green vial in the trunk next to it. Now!” he ordered as he picked up Stolas, laying him on the bed. He moved his pillow to the side before untying the owl’s robe.
Moxxie opened the left trunk, taking out the bag of mana stones while Millie went to the other trunk for the potions. The male imp handed the bag to Vassago, who dumped out the stones into his hand. Moxxie watched with concern as the parrot demon lined up the stones and then traced a path from groin to head with his fingers before following the same path with his hand.
Vassago’s eyes widened at his reading. He removed his hands and retraced the path again. He needed to be sure he was reading his mana correctly, hoping his first reading was wrong.
The hand stopped between the red and orange stones. Lower than where it was when he checked hours ago when Stolas first woke up.
His reading was correct.
“Fuck… 9%” he said gravely.
“N-nine? … but…i-it was eleven… that means…”? The owl asked horrified. He sat up, nearly falling over if not for the white-haired imp holding him steady.
“Easy there, your highness” Moxxie said gently.
I’m afraid so… mana poisoning.” He answered solemnly. “I’m sorry. We have no choice now. We’ll need to do a purification.”
(A purification? … No... No, not again.) The last time Vassago had to do one on him was when Via was five, after the Stella nearly killed him after he performed the black moon ritual. He couldn’t go through that again. Not again.
He grabbed his head. His heart was racing. He couldn’t breathe.
(Not again. Not again. Not again)
“Your highness?” Moxxie noticed the prince’s body trembling, the quickening of his breath and the look in his dilated eyes. He recognized the symptoms. A panic attack.
“Stolas? Calm down. Breathe Stolas” Vassago said trying to get his attention, looking at his friend with concern as he began hyperventilating.
(Not again. Not again. NOT AGAIN!)
Suddenly the white-haired imp was right in front of him, hands gently but firmly grabbing his shoulders.
“Your highness, focus on my voice. Tell me five things you see.” What a weird request. Stolas tried to listen.
“Come on. Tell me five things you see”. The imp ordered once more.
“Y-you…m-my blanket…a-a b-bookcase... d-door… V-vass-sago”
“Good. And four things you are touching” the imp kept talking.
“Y-you…m-my bed… my r-robe…m-my f-feathers”
“Good. Now three things you can hear.”
This was slowly calming the owl demon down. He wasn’t sure what was happening. But whatever it is, it’s working.
“My breathing… Y-you… something… moving?” He was talking about Millie, still rummaging through the trunk. There were a few red bottles, but which one was crimson, was it this one? Or is this one scarlet?
“Good. Now two things you can smell.”
“Incense and…pasta?” His breathing was nearly back to normal.
“Good and one thing you can taste.”
“Bad tea.” His breathing was normal now.
“What was that? How did you know how to do that?” Vassago asked. He’d never seen anything like that before.
“It’s a grounding technique for panic attacks. I get them sometimes. It helps pull you out of it.” Moxxie explained to the parrot.
“I’m sorry.” He turned back to the owl. “You shouldn’t have witnessed that.” The owl apologized, looking down embarrassed.
“Don’t apologize, your highness. These things suck. Believe me, I know” Moxxie replied.
Millie tugged on the parrot demons’ arm, getting his attention, holding up the potions, hoping she grabbed the right ones. He nodded thanks at her before taking them, making sure she grabbed the correct ones. Satisfied she did, he uncorked both before pouring some of the crimson potion into the green vial. Swirling it around until it turned into a neon orange color.
Then he brought the vial to the owl’s beak helping him drink the potion. “Here, this will help for the time being.” The parrot explained. Stolas knew he was right about the potion, having made it himself before.
It will only work for about twelve hours, enough time to set up the purification. Unfortunately, it won’t cure him or stop the symptoms, but it will slow the poison enough that he would at least survive until Vassago could perform the ritual.
“I’ll start setting up for the purification. It'll be ready by morning. We’ll do it then.” Vassago said, looking at his friend with regret. Stolas wouldn’t meet his gaze. He was too busy looking down at his hands, willing himself to not have another panic attack.
He didn’t blame the parrot for his diagnosis. Stolas knew Vassago did everything he could to prevent this from happening and knew his keeper didn’t want to do the ritual either, but this was the only way to cure mana poisoning.
“I’m sorry… I really am.” the parrot said sympathetically, placing a comforting hand on Stolas’ shoulder before walking over to the vanity. He grabbed Stolas’ grimoire, knocking the seahorse onto the floor in the process. They will need the book for what’s to come. The mandrake can wait. This was far more important.
“Is there anything we can do to help you, your highness?” Moxxie asked the owl. Whatever this thing was, it must be bad to cause a panic attack.
Stolas gave a sad, appreciative smile to the imps. He appreciated the offer, but there wasn’t really anything either of them could do to help him. But there is someone here that can. Someone he wanted, no, needed to speak to right now.
“Yes, I would like to speak to Loona for a moment. Could you please go get her?”
Chapter 25: Please Leave, But Stay With Me
Chapter Text
Loona knocked on the door to the owl’s bedroom. She got irritated when Moxxie and Millie came to her room, looking for her. She was even about to throw Moxxie out the window before they explained Stolas wanted to talk to her.
“Come in,” she heard him call out. She entered the room, almost gagging at the smell of incense. She saw the sick owl looking at her expectantly from his bed. A blanket draped over his lap and robe loosely tied around his waist.
“You wanted to see me?” she asked, trying to hide her nervousness. (Is this about what I did to the toaster? Does he even know about that?)
“Yes. I wanted to thank you. You have been a great friend to my daughter, helping her when I couldn’t. I am truly grateful for that” he said with a kind smile.
“Oh um. Sure, no problem”. She wasn’t sure how to respond to that.
“That said, I do have a favor to ask of you. Tomorrow, Vassago and I need to, um, perform…a ritual… of sorts.” The hellhound couldn’t help but notice the look the owl made when he said ‘ritual’. “And…”
“Wait,” she interrupted.” Are you even ok to do one of those?” she asked, smelling the sickness coming from him, taking note how ill he looked.
“Sigh… I’m afraid there’s no choice… That said, I don’t want Octavia anywhere near here for it. I want you to take her out somewhere for the entire day… until its done.” he asked.
“…Does Via know about this?” Loona asked suspiciously.
“No… And I would prefer she doesn’t.”
The hellhound thought for a moment. It must be bad if he doesn’t want his daughter here, but she deserved to know at least.
“Allright, I’ll take her out, but on one condition. You tell her what’s going on.” The owl looked at her in shock.
“…She doesn’t need to know,” he repeated.
“Maybe she doesn’t need to know about the specifics, but she should at least know that it’s happening. What’ll happen if she finds out you performed it and didn’t tell her? How’d you think she’ll feel?” the hell hound explained.
That got the owls’ attention. He wants to protect his daughter, but Loona was right. Via did deserve to know what was going to happen to him. And it would be better coming from him than someone else.
“Sigh…Very well…I’ll tell her. But make sure she stays away from here, at least until nighttime. And please… keep her safe.”
“Don’t worry, I will” Loona promised.
*****
Loona guided Octavia to her dad’s room, saying he wanted to talk to her about something important. “Hey dad, you wanted to see me?” she asked her father.
“Yes, my Starfire, come here,” she went to his bed, where he wrapped her in a hug.
“Dad? Are you ok?” Stolas pulled back, looking his daughter in the eye.
“Via darling… tomorrow I want you to hang out with Loona. Away from the palace.”
“Really, why?” That was a strange request.
“Oh, you know. To have fun, live life and not be cooped up…” he stopped rambling as he looked up. Via turned her head 180 degrees to see Loona glaring daggers at her father.
She turned her head back as he sighed in defeat. “I’m afraid…. tomorrow Vassago and I will … Sigh… do a purification.”
Her eyes widened “What? B-but you’re getting better. Vassago said…”
“I have mana poisoning.” He interrupted “It’s already so low; I will succumb to it if we don’t do this.” He explained.
“…How long have you known about this?” She was upset. She couldn’t believe Vassago lied to her, that her dad was keeping this from her. But then again, he just woke up today. “Was it before or after the movie?”
“We just found out.” Stolas explained, seeing his child’s distress.
(She thinks I was keeping this from her. She’s upset she wasn’t informed right away even though we just found out as well. I guess Loona was right. But now I’ve distressed her. Why is it no matter what I do, I keep hurting my child?)
Tears started forming in her eyes. She remembered his pain filled scream and the bandages that adorned his body the last time it happened.
‘I’m sorry Starfire, but this is the only way. I don’t want you to witness it, like last time. Go have fun, and when you return, I will be back on the path to recovery,” he forced a smile at her.
She pulled him into a hug. “…You really don’t want me here?” she asked.
“I do Starfire. I want you here with me, just… not for this…” He returned the hug, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over.
“…ok I’ll go, but you better be ok when I get back”
“Of course, darling.” He had to be strong. He had to do this… for her.
*****
Blitz slowly woke up in a bed that he was not familiar with. (Where the fuck am I?) Sitting up he glanced around, noticing a pile of his clothes and a duffle bag in the corner. He recognized this room now. It was the cozy guest room he was assigned. He usually only came in here to change his clothes, choosing to sleep in that awful chair in Stolas’ bedroom to keep vigil at night.
The last thing he remembered was watching a movie with everyone in the living room, with Stolas sleeping on his lap. (I must have dozed off. There weren’t any horses in that movie anyway, so I probably got bored watching it.)
Judging from the fact that his boots, jacket and gloves were off, laying on a nearby chair, he guessed someone just tucked him in, hoping he would sleep all night in that surprisingly comfy bed. His gun, phone and the Kama Sutra were on the nightstand next to him. His stomach growled. Well time to go food hunting. Grabbing his phone and gun, he left the room.
Making his way to the kitchen, he noticed a pot of spaghetti on some potholders with some forks and plates nearby. There was also a note next to the dishes that said chocolate covered strawberries were in the fridge.
He grabbed himself a plate of pasta for himself and a beer from the fridge. As he sat down at the table, he noticed a cutting board with a knife and a weird looking vegetable, looking like a deformed fetus, sliced into thirds. Its limb like roots were in a bowl nearby. (The hell is that thing? Are M&M making some sort of vegetable art or is that some sort of medicine for Stolas? Whatever it is, it’s ugly.)
Blitz ate his dinner in relative silence, avoiding looking at the creepy vegetable. “Where is everyone?” he asked himself. Surely there should have been at least one person down here, especially since it’s dinnertime. Once he finished his meal, he figured he would look around for everyone. It was too quiet for his liking.
Flipping off Eris, who was surprisingly quiet for some reason, he headed out of the kitchen, deciding he would check Stolas’ room first. As he made his way to the bedroom, he saw Loona standing in the doorway. She turned to the sound of his footsteps before shaking her head. He got the message: ‘Don’t come any closer’. (What’s going on? Did something happen to Stolas?)
“…You really don’t want me here?” he heard Via say. She sounded upset (Wait. Is Stolas sending her away? Why?)
“I do Starfire. I want you here with me, just… not for this…” (What’s he talking about? What’s happening?)
“…ok I’ll go, but you better be ok when I get back.”
“Of course, darling.” He heard Stolas say. (What’s going on?)
"Hey Via, why don’t we check out that party I told you about. I can help you pick out an outfit for tomorrow” Loona called from her spot.
“That’s an excellent idea. Just be wary of creeps. After all, we are rich and we’re hot. They all want us.” He heard the older owl say, as if trying to lighten the mood.
“…alright dad. Are you sure you’ll be ok?”
“I’ll manage. Go have fun. I promise… It’ll be ok.” Blitz heard the older owl reassure his child.
Blitz saw Octavia leave the bedroom with his daughter, heading toward the younger owl’s room. Once they were out of sight, he walked to the doorway, spotting the owl on his bed, his head held in his hands. Even from where he stood at the doorway, he could see Stolas’ beak quivering, like he was about to cry. (What’s wrong? What happened?)
He knocked on the door, to get the owls’ attention. As he looked up, Blitz noticed tears forming in his eyes. (Is it just me or does he look sicker than he did earlier?)
“Oh, Blitz… is there something you need?” the owl asked, quickly wiping his eyes. He didn’t want the imp to see him cry.
“Nah, just thought I’d check in on you. You, ok?” he asked, coming to the bed he noticed a bruise forming on the owl’s head, right above his top left eye. “The hell happened to your head?” (That’s not from my horns, is it? I don’t think he hit them that hard. Or on that side of his head.)
“Hmm?” the owl reached for his head, touching his injury, feeling a bump there. “Oh, I hit it on the nightstand.”
“How?”
“I got up to …”
“You shouldn’t try walking by yourself, dumbass. You’re still too weak for that.” Blitz interrupted annoyed. “Seriously? Am I going to have to tie you down to the bed?” he growled, threateningly, ready to grab the cuffs in the closet.
“It was an emergency” the owl argued.
“What kind of emergency?” he asked. Other than a broken teacup and a green stain, nothing looked out of the ordinary. So probably not another assassin (Maybe he had to go to the bathroom?) until he saw his plush on the floor and the grimoire missing.
“Where the fuck’s the book?!!” he shouted, looking back at Stolas. He didn’t' notice the brief look of hurt on the owl’s face.
“Vassago has it. I…” he was cut off by a wave of violent coughing. Blitz rubbed his back, as he coughed, taking note of how warm the owl was. He was a lot warmer than he was during the movie.
Once he stopped, Blitz's eyes widened when he saw a black wetness in the owl’s hand. (Is he coughing up blood? Shit!!!)
“Hang on, I’ll get Vas..." he turned but was stopped when Stolas grabbed his shoulder.
“He knows.” Stolas figured he might as well explain to Blitz what’s happening. Everyone else seems to know.
“Sigh…I have mana poisoning. We just found out.” The imp’s eyes widened. Didn’t Vassago say that you could die from that?
“Where the fuck’s Vas? Why isn’t he here trying to cure you?” the imp asked angrily. It was the parrots job to make Stolas better, wasn’t it?
“In the observatory…preparing for a… a purification” the owl finished looking like he would burst into tears. (Is that why Via’s leaving?)
He pulled the distressed owl into a tight hug, rubbing his back in comfort, not really knowing what else to do. He felt the trembling owl return it. Whatever, this thing is, it’s clearly upsetting the owl.
“When’s it happening?”
“M-morning” his voice was cracking. (Shit, He’s gonna cry. It must be bad.)
“Anything I can do?” the imp offered. He didn’t really know what he could do, but he felt he needed to do something for Stolas.
“…cuddles?” He heard the owl ask over his shoulder.
“Sure, Stols whatever you want.” That he can do.
They laid down on the bed. Neither of them said anything as Blitz held the owl, stroking the feathered head that lay on his chest, being mindful of the bruise.
(He’s only doing this because I asked for it. He doesn’t care for me. Afterall, he was more concerned about my grimoire missing. He probably just doesn’t want me to die because he would lose access to it if I’m gone. That’s why he’s still here, isn’t it? For my grimoire.)
Blitz didn’t like how quiet the owl was, nor the face he was making. He had to do something, but what? He didn’t think Stolas would be interested in watching horse videos on his phone and the imp didn’t have the attention span to read a book to the owl, especially if it has big words in it. They could try talking. Maybe that would help?
(What would we even talk about? We don’t do words, we do sex. And right now, that’s off the table… I guess I could just ask him something and we can go from there. Now what to ask him? I could ask about the prophecy, but that might upset him. Make him think of his purification thing. Maybe I should start with something small and work my way up.)
Looking around the room, he spotted the seahorse on the floor. That could work. “So, got any names for your seahorse yet?” Blitz asked.
“Um, no?”
“Well, its gotta have a name. I name all my horses. It’s only fair that you name it. Come on, you can think of something. Otherwise, I’m gonna name it and I doubt you’d like what I’d come up with.” Blitz has already thought of several names for it. His favorites so far were Baby popper and Duct tape.
“I don’t know… Seabiscuit, I guess” the owl replied.
“Seabiscuit the seahorse. Hm…catchy.” The imp heard the owl snort in amusement at that. Ok, off to a good start. What next? There has been something nagging the imp for a few hours. He figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask.
“So, what’s going on with you and that red bastard?”
“…who?” (Is he talking about Moxxie?)
“Vassago. What’s going on between you two?” Blitz clarified.
“Um…he’s my keeper?” Stolas looked up at him confused.
"I know that. But like, are you friends, cousins… something else?”
“He’s my best friend.” Stolas replied, much to the imp’s relief. (Oh, thank Satan! They’re not fucking. Wait... they are notfucking…right?)
“So… just friends, right? You guys never fucked or…?”
“What!... No!” Stolas looked up at the imp in shock. (Where’s this coming from? Is he jealous? Of Vassago???) “You’re the only one I want to fuck. Especially with your big, red di…” Stolas started mischievously.
“Alright, alright. Enough of that, you horny owl” Blitz interrupted seeing what he was doing. “No dirty talking until I can actually fuck you, got it?”
“Awe, you’re no fun Blitzy” Stolas fake pouted, causing the two to chuckle.
See, they can communicate with each other…just not very well.
“You hardly call me that anymore… why?” he asked. He really needed to know what he did to make the owl stop calling him that.
“I… you hate it when I call you that. So, I ‘ve been trying to stop… since it bothers you so much. I guess it just slipped out. Sorry, Blitz” the owl answered. That surprised the imp. (That’s why? To spare my feelings? I thought it was because he was upset with me for something.)
“I… don’t hate it. Only when you say it in some perverted, condescending way. Especially in public. You can still call me that… if you want” He responded.
“Alright… Blitzy.” the imp smiled down at the owl with that.
(Hah! This talking thing’s easy! What else can we talk about?)
His thought was cut short when Stolas coughed again. Some of his blood ended up on the imps shirt. Blitz rubbed his back until his coughing stopped, leaving the owl to curl up further into himself, whimpering in pain.
“You ok?” Blitz asked.
“I…I’ll manage... sorry about your shirt” Stolas said as he settled back down.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m used to washing out bloodstains. It comes with the job.” Blitz started stroking his head again. The look on Stolas’ face was coming back.
(Ok, just keep talking. Don’t want him to think about that. What else is there? Wait, we both have daughters! That’s something we can talk about for a while.)
“So, sounds like our girls are going to a party tomorrow? That should be fun” the owl hummed in agreement.
“Don’t worry. Looney will take good care of Via. Plus, it sounds like they’re going to one of Beelzebub’s parties. She and her boyfriend, Vortex, are friends with Loona so they’ll watch out for her as well.”
“Will you and the others be going as well? It sounds like it could be fun.” Stolas asked.
“Nah, I’m good. The girls might think I’m ‘cramping their style’ if a grown up is with them,” Blitz joked with air quotes.
“So… what do you plan to do tomorrow then?”
“Pfft… I dunno. I’ll find something to do here. Maybe I’ll water your plants… except Eris. I don’t care what you say, I know she wants to eat me.” Blitz felt the bird in his arms tense, but figured he offended him with his Eris comment.
“Y-you don’t have to do that, Blitzy. My plants will be fine. Really. Go out... after all you’ve done for me and my daughter, you all could use a break away from here” Blitz looked down at the owl questioningly. Stolas was hoping the dense imp would get the hint.
“You can unclench your birdpuss, Stols. I won’t kill your plants. And Millie will take care of Eris. She likes her, afterall. And I’m sure Mox will…”
“I don’t want any of you here.” Stolas blurted out since the imp was not getting the hint. Blitz’s eyes widened. (What? He… he doesn’t want me anymore? I -I thought…)
“Not for this, please.” The owl interrupted his thoughts. “You can come back after the ritual…only if you want to that is … but please …I don’t want you here for this. Not for this.”
“Is this about the prophecy thing? Cuz I …” Stolas sat up, so he could look the imp in the eye.
“No Blitz” he interrupted. “I don’t want anyone but my keeper for this” seeing the look of hurt on the imp he tried to explain himself before the imp got mad.
‘It’s not anything you did, but… it’s bad…. Very bad.”
“Worse than that thing you did for a month?” the imp asked, getting a nod from the owl.
“Very. Via witnessed a little of it when she was small, and it traumatized her. I know she still has nightmares from it. I had a panic attack earlier just thinking about it. If not for Moxxie, it could have gotten worse” (Wait, Moxxie was here? What the hell was he doing in here?)
“I don’t want you to see me go through it. I don’t want you to hear what’s happening to me. I don’t want you here for any of it. So please... You said you and Fizz are friends again, right? Maybe go visit him or, um, do an assassination. Anything you want. But please be anywhere but here.” the owl pleaded.
Blitz was going to argue until he saw the look in Stolas’ eyes. He wanted to be here for the owl, but if it’s that bad that he doesn’t want him to, then he will respect his wishes… for now.
“Sigh…How long exactly is this thing gonna last?”
“Several hours.” (Well, at least it won’t last a month this time).
“Fine. I’ll go,” he reluctantly agreed, sounding annoyed as he said it. “But this better be the only time you send me away. Got it?”
The owl nodded. He glared at the owl.
“I said got it?” he said threateningly. He wanted a verbal response from the owl.
“Yes, Blitzy.”
“Good.”
He glanced at the clock. It was 11:23pm.
“It’s getting late. You should try to get some sleep.” Removing himself from the owl, he got up to turn off the lights.
“Please stay” Stolas begged. The imp stopped in his tracks, turning to the owl, seeing the pleading look in his eyes. That tone, that request, that look. It was the very same the owl gave to the tiny moon in his vision.
“I ain’t leaving, ya big egg. Just turning off the lights.” He turned them off before returning to bed. He pulled the blanket over them both before pulling the owl closer to him. As Stolas coughed once again, Blitz said a silent prayer that whatever this purification thing was worked and Stolas would finally recover.
Chapter 26: A Keepers Friend
Notes:
Some memories exploring Stolas and Vassago's friendship.
Chapter Text
Vassago had finished etching the floor in the observatory with chalk. The pattern was seven rings, all etched in runes. The outermost ring was the largest and as the rings got closer to the center, they became smaller.
A red ornate box sat off to the side of the observatory. He made sure before the super blue blood moon ritual last month that everything was in place should he need to do purification ritual. After the last assassination attempt, he placed a ward on the box, and has been checking the sealed container at least daily to make sure nothing had been tampered with.
He sighed to himself as he looked at the pattern on the floor. He really did not want to do this again. Not to Stolas. The owl had always been a good friend to the parrot, ever since they first met.
~FLASHBACK~
Seventeen years ago…
“Your argument is preposterous Vassago” the parrot glared over to Andrealphus. “If we allow the imps even the slightest bit of leverage, they will think they are above us.”
“I am not saying we should give them a position on the council, I am simply saying that we should give them some more basic rights. Access to better jobs in the community. As doctors, teachers, businessmen, that sort of thing.” The parrot argued back.
“Puh-lease. Give them a little and they will demand more and more until they try to overthrow us.” Andrealphus argued, getting a few murmurs in agreement from the other Goetia present.
“I for one agree with Vassago.” The Parrot turned to see who spoke. He saw an owl demon, no older than twenty, just a few years younger than himself. Stolas was his name, if he remembered correctly. He just made his debut in court not too long ago.
“If you recall throughout the mortal realm’s history, in some of the greatest civilizations, the lower castes revolted, destroyed the hierarchy and reshaped the world. All because of how they were treated by those of power. We may have kept things the way they are this long, but with the advancement of angelic weaponry, it would only be a matter of time before the lower borne demons revolt against us as well.” That got the attention of some of the council members.
“I say give the imps more rights, access to the mortal world thought legitimate means and let them own legitimate businesses. That sort of thing. It would placate them without disrupting the status quo too much.” Stolas argued gaining murmurs of agreement from the other Goetia and a scowl from Vassago’s rival.
*****
After the meeting…
“Stolas, right? Do you have a moment?” the owl turned his head 180 degrees to see who was calling out to him, spotting a red parrot Goetia. Vassago, if he remembered correctly.
“I was surprised that you would agree with me on this matter. Not many view the lower caste as more than just tools to use.” The parrot said catching up to the owl.
“I have known lower born who are better people than some of the nobles around here. Yet they are treated like scum while we live in luxury. It’s not right. However, that argument would not work with most around here, so you have to word it in a way to get the others to agree with you.” The owl said as they continued their walk. He did not notice the glow of the parrots eyes behind his visor, or if he did, he didn’t say anything.
Vassago had a gift for judging a person’s heart by using his magic to read their aura. And Stolas’s aura showed that he had a heart much larger than any other Goetia he had ever seen. Maybe he was different after all.
“I feel the same way. You know, I’m beginning to like you. I would be honored if you would join me for tea sometime” the parrot offered. Very rarely did he meet another Goetia that shared his perspective on these types of things.
The next day, Stolas came over for a visit. Vassago learned that he was in an arranged marriage to his rival’s sister, although he shared no love for his bride. He had a newly hatched daughter that he showed photos of on his phone. He obviously loved the child judging by the way he was gushing over her (To Vassago, she looked kind of ugly, but he thought that of all newborns). The birds had quite a few common interests and similar hobbies. They had such a wonderful time that they decided to meet the following week at Stolas’ palace.
*****
The following Tuesday…
When Vassago came over, a small imp butler greeted him. While being guided to his destination, the parrot was amazed by the sheer number of carnivorous plants and not just in the greenhouse. Upon entering said greenhouse, he heard a child crying and what could only be described as the shrieking of a banshee.
“You helped make this ugly thing, so you deal with it!” he heard the banshee shriek. Turning the corner he nearly ran into a female Goetia. Stolas’ wife, Stella, from what he could guess. She gave him a surprised look at his presence, before turning it into a look of disgust, before storming out.
Rounding the corner, he found Stolas sitting on a patio chair, gently cooing and bouncing a hatchling, whose crying turned to soft whimpers.
“Is this a bad time?” The parrot asked cautiously, causing the owl to look up.
“Oh Vassago! I apologize, I lost track of time. Please join me. I’d like you to meet my little Starfire, Octavia.” The owl greeted him with a smile, holding up his child. She was featherless and her eyes were still closed, but she seemed like a happy baby in her father’s arms.
“Pleased to meet you, little one”, he played along, letting the owlet grab his finger and gently moving it as if they were shaking hands, causing the baby to let out a happy chirp.
“I ran into your wife. She seems like a …” the parrot trailed off, not sure the appropriate way to finish that sentence
“I think the words you are looking for is a screaming bitch with no taste in fashion?” The owl helped his friend. Little Via giggled as if agreeing with her daddy. That caused the parrot to chuckle.
Stolas, with the owlet in his arms, gave a tour of the greenhouse. The parrot was a little worried that a young child was near so many dangerous plants, but the owl demon reassured his friend not to worry. “She’s perfectly safe. She’s got daddy to protect her! Don’t you, my little Starfire?” Via chirped as if saying she agrees.
Vassago liked this owl. He had a feeling they would become good friends.
*****
Fourteen years ago…
It had been a few years since they first met. Stolas soon became his best friend. They would hang out often and have each other’s back whenever they had to appear in council meetings or Goetia gatherings.
So, it was no surprise when the council decided Vassago was to perform a rare super flower blood moon ritual, that he asked Stolas to be his keeper.
Nor was it a surprise to anyone when Stolas agreed with no hesitation.
*****
Two weeks into the super flower blood moon ritual…
Stolas had noticed the wards were breaking when he went to check on them. Unsealing the door to Vassago’s observatory, he rushed in. The feeling of pure raw magic burning his skin. He could see Vassago, in his Eldrich form, crying out in pain, the magic was too much for him to handle alone.
Stolas took out his grimoire, flipping through the pages, until he found the correct spell. Muttering it, the grimoire levitated on its own, releasing a black energy from it. Next, he whipped out a mithril knife with a moonstone hilt and stabbed both hands clean through before turning to his Eldrich form. He held up one claw in the air and the other to Vassago.
Channeling the magic around him, he helped absorb some magic from the room and taking some from Vassago. He could feel the pain burning through him. He was not marked with glyphs to protect himself, nor would he be able to cross the barriers just yet, but he could still help his vessel.
It was just enough though, as Vassago started to return to his normal form. Once the crystal ball was visible, Stolas turned both his hands to the sphere, focusing the rest of the magic into it. He watched the clear quartz fill with galaxies, storing prophecies for deciphering, as Vassago struggled to remove the dagger from his body. Once the magic was sealed, an exhausted, magically burnt Stolas returned to his normal form before gathered his friend taking him to his bedroom to recover from this ordeal.
*****
A day later…
“Ugh… wha… happened?” Vassago asked waking up blearily.
“You performed the super flower blood moon ritual. I’m afraid I had to intervene. How are you feeling?"
Vassago looked to the sound of the voice near him. His eyes widened as he saw his friend. He had bandages covering both hands and arms, a burn was going down from his right cheek to his neck. “S-stolas wha…”
“The wards were breaking. I didn’t have enough time to cover myself with any glyphs” the parrot felt guilty that his friend got hurt.
“I’m sor…” He tried to apologize but was interrupted.
“Don’t apologize. How are you feeling?” Stolas asked, he was more concerned about his friend than himself.
Thanks to the owl’s knowledge of magic and medicine, they both were able to make a full recovery in a few days’ time.
*****
Ten years ago…
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Stolas chewed out his friend. He was dangling upside down, arms wrapped around his body by the tendrils of a large, beige plant with large crimson thorns. A Sanguine Vine. Stolas had given it to the parrot for Sinsmas a few months ago while it was still small. Vassago had called him earlier that morning about it acting strangely and needed Stolas’ expertise on carnivorous plants to get it to tame up.
The owl thought maybe there was something wrong with the food or the lighting. Something easily fixable. What he was not expecting was that his friend decided it would be a good idea to mix an aphrodisiac in its water source for a week. So now here they were, trapped in the grip of a deadly, horny plant.
“I thought it would just make it livelier. I didn’t think it would try to vore us.” The parrot defended himself from where he too was restrained by the plant, spread eagle style in the air, wincing as a thorn dug into his upper thigh, releasing a flow of blood. The thing about Sanguine Vine’s is they get their food by bleeding its prey dry.
“Livelier? It’s trying to (HOOT)!” He was interrupted when a vine started to rub on his cloaca through his pants.
“I swear, once we get out of this, I’m never going to let you live this down.” Stolas threatened, a blush forming on his face. Looking around for something they could use, he saw some hedge trimmers about twenty feet away from Vassago.
“Vassago can you…(HOOT) will you cut that out!” he was interrupted by the vine holding him hostage getting a little friskier from its spot between his legs “… grab those trimmers behind you?” he managed to ask his friend.
“I think so.” Vassago squirmed until one of his hands was free from the vine’s grasp, only for it to tighten on the rest of his body, a tendril slipping under his shirt. Using some magic, he conjured the blades and had them cut the tendril holding him up. Once freed, he used them to cut down Stolas.
The now freed owl conjured a spell he used when one of his own plants got way of hand, even for him. With the spell, he was able to destroy the plant from within, giving it a quick, relatively painless death.
“Never do that again.” The owl warned his friend with a stern look.
“Agreed” Vassago said, kneeling as he went to inspect the wound on his thigh. Stolas walked closer to check his friend’s injury, when one of the vines spasmed with a little life, tripping Stolas, causing him to fall on top of his friend…their beaks met.
The pair quickly pulled away, covering their mouths with a blush. Vassago didn’t need to read Stolas’ aura to know what his friend was thinking. He could practically see it in his eyes. It was the look that said: ‘Yep…I’m definitely gay.’
*****
Six years ago…
They were at another one of Andrealphus’ stupid parties. Vassago and Stolas hated them. It was too cold; the alcohol disgusting and their host was a dick.
At this party though, Andrealphus unveiled his newest, most prized possession: a large wine fountain. It was three tiered with a large base. Four busts of the hosts head were on the base and at the top was a statue of Andrealphus, posing like the Statue of David. The entire thing was made of ice. Stolas and Vassago were standing in front of the gaudy fountain, judging it.
“I can’t tell which is uglier. Our host or the fountain” Vassago joked.
“I hear you. At least you’re not related to them by marriage” Stolas muttered glaring at his wife, who was loudly telling nearby Goetia how bad in bed her husband was.
“How much do you want to bet that the wine tastes like swill? I doubt its strong enough to forget this night anyway.” the parrot asked looking at the flowing red wine.
“Actually, I got something that will help us have a better time,” Stolas looked around discreetly before pulling out two vials of a champagne colored, bubbling liquid.
“It’s a concoction I’ve been working on. Just this little amount will be like drinking a full bottle of absinthe. Hopefully… otherwise, it’ll just make us sick enough that we would need to leave. So, either way, it’s a win-win.” he explained, uncorking the vials, about to hand one to his friend.
“Gentlemen” a voice caused them to turn around, Stolas quickly hiding the vials behind his back. turning around, they were greeted by the sight of their host. “I see you admiring my fountain. It is a work of art if I do say so myself. Although it is not nearly as perfect as me, of course.” Andrealphus bragged, causing the other two to roll their eyes. “Such a shame you don’t have anything like this, Stolas. Wouldn’t my sister look great on top of a fountain in your palace?”
“She would look better, standing in one, in my opinion.” Stolas muttered. Vassago forced himself to hold back a chuckle at the thought of Stella, standing soaked in a fountain, makeup smeared, and expensive dress ruined.
“Andrealphus!” Someone called the host away, causing Stolas to sigh in relief.
“I think I…uh oh!” His eyes widened, pupils dilating as he pulled the now empty vials from behind his back. Looking down, the pair did not see any of the liquid on the floor or on the fountain. That meant it could only be in one location…the wine.
Hiding the vials back in Stolas' pocket, the pair decided to walk over to a nearby wall pretending to be looking at the awful décor for a while before the host got everyone’s attention. They pretended to listen to his speech, watching as the servants collected wine from the fountain before handing it out to the guests. The pair made the toast and pretended to take a sip of that tainted wine, noticing with some enjoyment that other Goetia had a disgusted face at the flavor. Andrealphus and Stella did not have good taste in alcohol.
While no one was looking, Vassago and Stolas dumped their drink in one of the many fake plants that decorated the room before opening a very small portal to the owl’s home to toss the vials back in Stolas’ office. Had to hide the evidence, of course.
The pair watched in amusement as Stella and her brother, along with a several other nobles they did not like, went back for more wine, quickly becoming drunk and making fools of themselves.
Stella tried flirting with the ice statue on top of the fountain before berating it for not flirting back. Meanwhile Andrealphus decided it would be a good idea to take off his clothes and go for a swim in the wine.
Everyone thought that maybe the wine was just too strong, and since they saw both Stolas and Vassago ‘drink’ the wine during the toast, no one suspected foul play. Needless to say, that was probably the best party they ever went to.
*****
Fifteen months ago...
Last night was Stella’s ‘Still Not Divorced’ party. Apparently, Stolas didn’t know about it until the day of either. Vassago felt bad he couldn’t attend, not because he wanted to go to one of Stella’s drab parties, but because Stolas had to endure it by himself. Well, at least today should be fun.
He and Stolas had made plans to go to the mortal world (in human disguises, of course) and go to The Millenium Planetarium, (a new planetarium said to be the largest, most scientifically accurate planetarium in the world) to make fun of the astrological inaccuracies shown, and then try a new restaurant that sells fusion food (neither one had any idea what that is)
Vassago portaled himself outside of Stolas’ greenhouse. After nearly twenty years of friendship, he didn’t need permission to enter the premises. Stolas should be here any moment.
Suddenly he heard a crash nearby. He feather traveled near the noise, hoping Stella wasn’t throwing things at Stolas again.
“Sorry, I fucked your husband.” He heard a male voice say. Hidden behind a topiary, he spotted Stella and her ‘friends’ splattered with what looked like cake. Running away from the table appeared to be a tall imp holding a thick book.
“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, SSSTTTOOOLLLAAASSS!!!” Uh oh. The banshee’s angry.
“That… was the sound… of a FUCKING DIVORCE!!” Vassago heard Stolas yell before laughing maniacally.
So, from what he gathered... Stolas got laid, Stella got humiliated, and they were finally getting a divorce. Sounds like the start to a great day for his friend.
*****
Nine months ago…
In the next few months, Vassago learned a little bit about Stolas’ mysterious paramour. The imp, named Blitz, is an assassin and owns his own business. Apparently, he was Stolas’ first friend and they reunited at the ‘Still Not Divorced’ party. They had a night of ‘passionate fornication’, where Stolas revealed way too much information (not that Vassago has not done the same before about his sex club nights). After that night, they continued to meet at least once a month for a night of ‘passionate fornication’ (it must be good if Stolas can’t just say sex).
He didn’t need to read his aura to know that the love this owl felt for the imp was great. Any time he heard the owl talk of Blitz (or Blitzy as the owl called), he could almost see his pupils turning into hearts.
“This is by far the best picture of us together.” Stolas practically shoved his phone into the parrots face. In it, he saw Stolas look so happy posing for the camera while the imp looked disinterested. Strange. For someone who is in love he didn’t seem happy. In fact, he seemed rather annoyed.
“Does he normally pose like this?” the parrot asked suspiciously.
“Oh, well… Blitzy doesn’t really like his picture taken. I had to practically beg him to be in one with me”. the owl explained before prattling on and on about his lover. (Ah. So, he’s just not photogenic, that’s all. Good… I was worried that maybe he didn’t like Stolas)
He was happy for his friend. It was about time he got to experience true romantic love.
*****
6 months ago…
“Vassago it’s happening! Blitzy asked me out on a date! A real date! I’m meeting him in a few minutes. I am so excited! I’ll tell you all about it when it’s all over. Oohhh should I wear the purple outfit or the blue one? Or maybe the black one? What about a cape? I’m thinking about putting a grey streak in my head feathers. Wouldn’t that look amazing? Or is that too much.”
Vassago had to process what Stolas was saying, he was talking so fast. His friend had called him just a moment ago, sounding so excited.
From what Stolas has been telling him, he would be the one to reach out to the imp if he wanted to do something. Stolas always made excuses saying the imp is busy with his business or something. Vassago really wanted to believe that. Afterall, it’s still hard for imps to run their own business. It was nice that the imp finally made the first move.
“Go with that purple outfit. And wear the red cape, it brings out your eyes. If you want, you can borrow one of my glasses to go with your outfit. I’m thinking the red sunglasses I showed you last week would be stunning on you.” He gave his fashion advice. Stolas went with his outfit opinion, save for the offered glasses.
The parrot eagerly awaited to hear how his romantic date went. He was so excited for his friend. The only other romantic relationship he’s ever had was with Stella and there wasn’t much romance to begin with. When he and Stolas ‘kissed’ all those years ago, they decided it’s best to just remain friends rather than pursue anything romantic. They didn’t want to ruin what they had.
He hoped that this Blitz fellow would be the one to finally give his friend the romcom romance he always wanted. If anyone deserved it, it was Stolas.
*****
Four months ago…
Somethings changed. He noticed it when he heard Stolas talk about his failed date at Ozzie’s.
Stolas revealed not long after that what he and the imp had was something transactional, though he would not divulge what the terms of the deal were, only that the owl was the one who initiated their agreement. However, he was so confident that after all this time, Blitz really did love him.
It was only after he went to visit Stolas at the hospital after his assassination attempt did he read his aura. He just had to. His friend looked so upset whenever he glanced at his phone, looking at a text from Blitz. After reading his aura, he understood why.
His heart was breaking.
“Stolas what happened?” the parrot asked his injured friend. He wasn’t necessarily asking about his injuries, but the owl didn’t pick up on that.
“Stella… hired an assassin on me, wanting me to die a slow, painful death. She called it off last minute, for whatever reason…Striker, he…he was going to continue torturing me. He was about to cut out my eyes… if it weren’t for Moxxie and Millie, Blitz’s employees… I would be much worse off than this.” He said sadly.
Vassago’s eyes widened in shock. Not because of what Stella did (He knew full well what she was capable of) nor about the assassin torturing his friend, but what he said about his rescuers.
“His employees? Not Blitz??” The owl shook his head.
“He… he was busy… he told me so when I called him for help.” The parrot couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Stolas was in danger and called for help? And was told by his lover that he was ‘too busy’ to save him?
“H-he sent me a get-well text though” the owl said with a sad smile, showing his friend the text.
<Blitzy to Stolas> 5/ 23 17:49 pm :Git bevver swoon :( :
The spelling was atrocious, and it seemed he only texted once, several days ago, not even replying when Stolas asked him to visit. He couldn’t help but look up at the previous texts. Where Stolas would leave long, meaningful texts, the imp would only leave short dismissive replies.
“Has he visited yet?”
Vassago could see tears forming in Stolas’ eyes. That was all the answer he needed. He pulled Stolas into a hug, letting his friend cry his heart out.
It was obvious Stolas was in pain, and not just from his wounds. His friend had been in a dark place for years (Vassago was well aware of his depression, since the first time he became Stolas’ keeper) and he hated seeing him fall deeper into that pit of despair.
As Stolas cried from his broken heart, Vassago started hating the imp with all of his.
*****
Three weeks before the super blue blood moon ritual…
“I’ve come to a decision Vassago. About Blitz” he told the parrot before taking a drink of absinthe.
“Oh?” Vassago asked.
They were on the balcony of Vassago’s home, drinking absinthe together. After the council’s decision tonight, Stolas could use a drink. And since the palace is empty since its Stella’s week, Vassago thought it best to invite his friend here so he wouldn’t be alone.
The council had chosen Stolas as the one to perform the very rare and highly dangerous super blue blood moon ritual, despite the fact that he hasn’t fully recovered from his injuries yet.
“I've decided to end our arrangement. I have been working on how to end it on good terms. I hope that with both of us free, he will want me for me and not my…well I hope I will be enough and if I’m not… I wish him the best” the owl said sadly, his mascara running as he struggled to hold the tears.
Vassago hated that. He wanted his friend to be happy and it was clear that although his friend’s heart was broken, he was still clinging to the slim hope that Blitz would return his feelings. He put a comforting hand on his shoulder, receiving an appreciative smile from the owl.
“When are you going to do it?”
“After the ritual… I still can’t believe that the council chose me for this.” The owl replied, taking a drink from his bottle. They both knew the reason why he was chosen.
Andrealphus had swayed the council to choose Stolas for the ritual. Not only was the owl one of, if not the best, prophet born in millennia, but after the rumors, divorce and failed assassination attempt, this was to prove that he was still worthy of his title and rank. “I trust you to be my keeper for this?” He turned to his friend.
“Of course, my friend, always” they clanked their bottles together before taking another drink.
*****
A few nights ago…
Vassago just finished cleaning the observatory. He didn’t want Octavia to see anything. Besides, on the chance he would need to do a purification ritual, he wanted the room to be cleared so he would have enough time to set it up.
As he was heading back to the bedroom, he heard a noise from the living room, turning he saw Octavia and a hellhound watching a movie, eating pizza. He recognized the hellhound from the photo of I.M.P. Stolas showed him.
“Oh, hi Vassago, this is Loona, Blitz’s daughter. Blitz is with dad now. He wanted me to take a break. Also, they brought pizza for dinner. It’s in the kitchen.” Via spoke up as she saw him. The hellhound gave him a smile and a wave from her position on the couch next to her. Vassago checked her aura as he gave a smile and a kind acknowledgement to the hellhound.
She seemed fine. In fact, she seemed to care for the owl the same protective way he cared for Stolas. Speaking of Stolas…
“Nice to meet you, Loona. If you’ll excuse me, I need to check on Stolas.” he said before heading up to the bedroom. It was true, he needed to check on Stolas’ mana and wounds. But, to be honest, he wasn’t sure if he should trust the imp. Not after the way he’s treated Stolas. The only reason he gave permission for him to visit was because Octavia believed Stolas would want that. As he was about to open the door, he heard the imp’s voice.
“I visited you… At the hospital. Well, kinda… They wouldn’t let me in your room, so I climbed up to your window at night. It was easier that way. You were asleep. Or at least I think you were. I could have unlocked the window and come in. But I just… couldn’t. I couldn’t face you after I failed you.” (He visited Stolas? Why didn’t say anything?)
“You must understand, Loona needed her shot, and I thought you could handle it…I’m sorry… I should have been there for you. I screwed up, I know. I always do. But please… Wake up already dammit. Come on Stols. Don’t make me say it. I...” He heard enough and entered the room.
He would check how the imp behaved as he checked Stolas, noticing his expressions of concern (and jealousy?). When he was offered a night to rest, he checked the imp’s aura first. To his surprise, the imps aura was almost like Stolas, full of love for the other, but also full of heartbreak.
He really does care for the owl! So why was he pushing him away?
When Blitz asked his final question that night, he figured that the imp deserved to know how Stolas felt. At least some of it, anyway.
“Stolas cares for and trusts you. He told me himself. There are very few he can truly trust and care about. You and your employees are amongst those few. But you, in particular, are very important to him. He’s always thought very highly of you, you know.”
~FLASHBACK ENDS~
Vassago finished drawing the final ward on the wall. He turned around and looked back at his work. The rings on the floor were undisturbed. Only now there were other things in and outside of the rings as well.
On each ring, there were four unlit candles on stands made of brimstone. Outside each ring were seven, large chakra crystals. Outside the outermost ring were red jasper crystals, then between the outermost and the next ring were orange calcite. Following that were citrine, aventurine, turquoise, sodalite, and finally, clear quartz. Inside the inner ring was empty. That will be for Stolas and the grimoires.
The parrot went around the room, making sure that everything was ready and prepared. Looking up to the sky through the glass ceiling, he could see the stars fading, the sky lighting with a sunrise. It was nearly morning. Soon, he will need to collect Stolas to do the dreaded ritual. Vassago felt guilty for having to go through with it.
His friend was nearly assassinated under his care, and now he’s suffering from mana poisoning. He knew none of those were his fault but still, he felt like a failure of a keeper for not being able to protect his friend from all the misfortune that had befallen him.
At least I.M.P. was here to help. They’ve been great friends and allies to the Goetia and have helped take care of Octavia and Stolas when he couldn’t.
And Blitz…he wouldn’t lie when he said he was happy with the level of devotion he held for the owl, even if he couldn’t really see whatever Stolas saw in him. He hoped the couple could work out their differences, but he couldn’t forgive Blitz for the way he treated Stolas just yet.
And if that imp broke his friend’s heart one more time, then he would make sure Blitz never hurt Stolas ever again.
Chapter 27: The Night Before
Chapter Text
Blitz opened his eyes as he heard another cough next to him. Stolas had rolled on his side, away from the imp hacking up more blood. Blitz glanced at the time on the clock. 1:47 am. It was about seven minutes since his last coughing fit.
“You ok there?” He tiredly asked after Stolas finally stopped coughing. It was getting worse.
“Ugh… I feel… worse than the time…. we did shots of... arsenic.” He replied in a hoarse, quiet voice between ragged breaths. He shakenly wiped the blood from his beak.
“Um… I’ve never done that with you, Stols.” the imp replied, confused as to why the owl would be taking shots of poison.
“You didn’t? Oh… who was that with?” the owl asked confused before convulsing in pain.
The imp reached over to rub his back, taking note of his temperature.
“Damn, you’re hot.”
“You…’re not s-so b-bad looking y-yourself… B-blitzy” the sick owl joked between convulsions.
“You know what I mean, smartass.” He grumbled as he ripped the blanket off the sick owl, causing him to shiver from the sudden cold, then went to untie his robe.
“Blitzy… I don’t wanna do sex.” Stolas whined. The imp never thought he would hear those words come out of Stolas’ mouth.
“I’m not…we’re not doing that, you perv! You’re burning up. Gonna try to cool you down.” He explained as he removed the robe, trying to avoid hurting the owl’s left arm. Soon, Stolas was laying on his side, naked, curled up into a ball, shivering.
Stolas felt a sudden dip of the bed and the sound of hooves running away. Blitz was leaving. Stolas closed his eyes at the sudden realization that he was alone now.
(He left. I figured he’d do that sooner or later.)
His thoughts were disrupted as he heard what sounded like hooves coming back to him before feeling someone shake his shoulder. Looking up with dim eyes, he was surprised what he saw.
Blitz was there right in front of him. He came back.
“You’re back?”
“I said I wasn’t leaving, ya big egg. Drink this.” He helped the owl sit up before bringing a glass of water up to the owl’s beak. It was just regular water. No herbs or crystals in it. Blitz didn’t know what (or if anything) would work for the owl at this point.
“Thank you.”
Stolas laid back down, closing his eyes in exhaustion, when he felt something cold and wet on his forehead. He went to touch whatever was on his head before the imp grabbed his hand, pulling it back down.
“Leave it. We need to bring your fever down. I may need to give you an ice bath if it doesn’t get better.” the imp warned.
“Won’t work…groan... Not sick” Stolas managed to get out before being racked by another coughing fit.
“Your brain must be fried. You are sick.” The imp retorted.
“Won’t cough, cough…work” Stolas reiterated between coughs.
“Quit arguing. It will work. Cold baths bring down fevers.” Why was the bird being so difficult?
“M-mana poison… magic malady…not, ngh, physical. Cold won’t…cough, cough” he was interrupted by more coughing, his breathing becoming more ragged after each coughing fit.
Blitz sighed as he replaced the rag on the owl’s head with another damp one he brought.
“Well don’t worry. After tomorrow, you’re gonna get better. That’s what this whole purification thing is for, right?” the imp asked, forgetting he told himself he wouldn’t remind Stolas of it.
“I…I can’t…”
“Huh? The hell you mean you can’t? Satan Stols, quit being such a pussy. You’re doing it whether you like it or not, so you can get better.” He said irritatingly. It was too early, and he was too sleep deprived for this shit.
“I can’t, ngh not again… whimper please not again.”
“Stols? You ok?” His irritation dissipated as he noticed the owl’s body starting to tremble, in a way that wasn’t from his fever. He was starting to hyperventilate. (Shit, is he having a panic attack? Ok stay calm, Blitz, you’ve done this before. You know what to do.)
“Stolas, listen to me, tell me five things you see.”
“I can’t… I can’t” the panicking bird managed to get out.
Blitz turned the lamp next to him on, wincing at the sudden bright light.
“Focus birdbrain. Five things you see.” He said a little more forcefully, facing the sick owl.
“Y-you… g-glass… b-bed, ngh…robe… b-blanket” Stolas managed to get out.
“Four things you feel?”
“F-feathers… bed, whimper… c-cold… p-pillow” Blitz wasn’t sure cold counted, but he was going for it.
“Ok. Three things you hear?”
“… you… my ...cough cough…’ he broke off in another coughing fit.
“What else do you hear. Com'n, tell me two more things” he said after the coughing fit ended. He wanted to finish this.
Before he could answer, Stolas convulsed again, tears fell from his eyes as a small cry of pain came out. He closed his eyes, his breathing ragged.
“Stols, can you hear me?” No answer. Only ragged breathing. At least he wasn’t hyperventilating.
“Stolas?” Blitz asked again. No answer. He tried shaking the owl’s shoulder, no response. It seems that he passed out. Blitz sighed. He hoped against hope that Stolas wouldn’t get worse than this.
*****
Several hours later...
It was early in the morning when there was a knock on the door. Blitz opened his bloodshot eyes, neither of them getting much sleep from the previous night. He covered Stolas with his blanket, to cover the owl’s nakedness, before getting up to answer the door. He was greeted to the sight of Octavia and Loona, all dressed for the party.
Loona was in a black top with a blue, purple and pink checkered skirt while Via was wearing a purple, grey and white shirt with tan pants and a purple cardigan with a matching beanie. Her locket hanging from her neck.
“We’re gonna head out soon, Tex is picking us up to take us to Bee’s”. Loona explained as Octavia made her way to Stolas’ bed to tell him goodbye.
“How is he?” She whispered to her adopted father. From her spot in the doorway, she could hear his ragged breathing, smell the sickness rolling off him from under the thin blanket covering his shivering body.
“Not good. He’s getting worse. He didn’t sleep much last night either. He’s really scared of whatever they’re doing today. It’s supposed to help him get better, but it must be bad.”
He watched Octavia lean down to give her sick dad a hug. He could almost hear the younger owl say “You’ll be ok dad. I love you”, before she pulled away, leaving the room with Loona.
“I’ll be right back. You won’t miss me.” he told the sick owl before stepping out. “Call me if either of you need anything and I’ll come get you, ok?” he told the girls “And don’t worry. Vassago knows what he’s doing. Your dad will be back to his old cooky, pervy self before you know it” he reassured the younger owl with what he hoped to be a reassuring smile. She nodded to him appreciatively before he watched them leave.
Once they were out of sight, he was about to enter the room again when he spotted Moxxie and Millie, neither looked like they got much sleep last night (both worried about Stolas), heading to the kitchen for coffee and breakfast.
“Boy, you guys look tired. Did Mil’s peg you good last night, Mox?” the boss asked, receiving a glare from the other make imp.
“No, she did not peg me, sir.” Blitz smirked before he remembered what Stolas told him last night.
“Stols says you helped him with a panic attack last night, Mox… so thanks for that.”
“Uh, yeah no worries” he was surprised his boss was thanking him.
“That being said, there is something that you guys should know.” The taller imp told his employees.
“Stolas and Vassago need to do some sort of ritual today. And they don’t want us here for it. At all. So, we’re being kicked out for the day.” He looked at his employes surprised looks.
“Is that wise sir? What if another assassin comes?” Moxxie argued back. He did have a valid point.
“This is what Stolas wants. And besides, Vassago says no one can enter the barrier except those that were in it when it was cast. So, they should be safe for a couple hours. So, the plan is we’ll go to the office, get some work done, then head back here. Alright?” the imps reluctantly nodded.
“Alright so get ready, cuz we’re leaving as soon as Vas decides to show his feathered ass.” He said before going back to the bedroom.
He went over to the bed. Stolas was breathing raggedly; his feathers were so dull that his face somehow looked even paler in the morning light. Blitz petted his burning, feathered head, causing the owl to crack open his top, dim eyes slightly.
“…Blzy?” he slurred out in barely a whisper.
“Yea, I’m here. Need some water?”
“M sry, Blzy” he quietly slurred out.
“You’re sorry? The fuck you sorry for? Ain’t your fault you’re sick” the imp was confused.
‘M…Sry” he muttered again before closing his eyes again, convulsing in pain, causing him to chitter. Blitz has only heard him chitter twice before. Both times were when one of their full moon nights got way too intense, and the bird had to safe word out.
“Vassago, hurry the fuck up…” the imp muttered as he looked to the door, hoping the parrot would show up. Stolas said that whatever Vassago gave him last night was supposed to help until the purification, but he could see that the owl was just getting worse. He didn’t know how much longer the owl would last.
Just as he was debating if he should leave Stolas to go look for the red bastard, Vassago entered the room. Finally!
“Bout time you showed up. I don’t know how much longer he can handle this.” The imp scolded. “Is everything ready?”
“Everything’s ready. I just need to remove his bandage and take him to the observatory.” Vassago said as he gently lifted the owl’s left arm to cut away the bandage so it would not get in the way during the ritual.
He heard the owl whimpering behind him, seeing him curl into himself. Taking hold of Stolas’ right hand, he stroked his head with the other. “It’s ok, it’ll be done and over with before you even know it. Then you can have all the cuddles you want. Yea?” he tried reassuring the owl.
Stolas’ dim, pleading upper eyes looked at him, as if begging for him to not let whatever’s going to happen, happen.
“Stolas, its time.” Vassago said solemnly. With a final apologetic look, the imp stepped back, reluctantly letting go of his hand. Vassago gathered his friend in his arms, holding him bridal style. The thin blanket draped over his friend.
“Stolas wants us out until you’re done. What time should we come back?”
“After dark” the parrot said, before turning to the door. (Well, that’s specific)
“Do not go near the observatory for this and please do not portal into his room when you come back. He may not be well enough for a sudden intrusion.” He informed the mottled imp, before walking out with the sick owl. Blitz just watched them go, hoping that whatever this purification thing is will work.
Blitz went to his room to change into some clean clothes, discarding the bloodstained ones he was wearing in the corner. Once dressed, and packed with his phone and weapons, he left the room. He trudged his way to the kitchen, not bothering to scold or threaten a quiet, somehow sad looking Eris, only pushing her away as she leaned a little too close to him.
Downing a cup of coffee and grabbing an apple from a fruit bowl on the counter for breakfast later, he turned to the other two imps. “Alright bitches, we leave in ten minutes. Let’s do a quick sweep to make sure no one else is here though, then meet in the van ok?” Both nodded in agreement to that.
The imps spread out, looking through the rooms and greenhouse (save for the restricted area, of course), finding no trace of intruders.
“Alright I just need to check one other place and then we're good to go. I’ll meet you two out there, ok?’ he said as he snuck his way to the observatory. He wasn’t going inside it, just figured he would check outside it…you know, for security reasons and not to snoop.
After climbing all the stairs, (Why are there so many fucking stairs?) He finally made his way to the top, The door was glowing, sealed with a magic ward. (Guess I can’t enter anyway). He tried looking through the keyhole, but the magic of the ward was preventing him from seeing anything other than the glow of the door.
There wasn’t anything nearby that an assassin could use for hiding, just the door. So, the Goetia won’t have to worry about someone sneaking out and attacking them when they come out.
(Guess there’s no reason for me to stay. Afterall, Stolas doesn’t want me here. I should just go.) He was just about to head down all those stairs (Seriously, there are way too many stairs here. Just put in a fucking elevator, Stols. You can afford it.) when he heard a bloodcurdling scream.
"AAAAHHHHH!!!"
Stolas…
It was nothing like the muffled screams he heard yesterday when they had to heal his arm. It was sharper, louder, filled with such pain and despair. No one should be making that kind of sound. Especially not Stolas. Not his Stolas. He had to get to him. Had to stop whatever was making him scream like that.
Blitz tried pulling the handles. Nothing. He tried ramming the door with his shoulder, trying to break it down... still nothing. He even tried portaling through, but it wouldn't let him crossover or even see beyond the magic threshold. (Damn that’s one strong ward.) The screams got louder, more bloodcurdling.
With one last ditch effort, he took out his gun and fired at the ward on the door.
BANG
The bullet ricocheted and grazed his right arm. Clutching his wounded arm, he could only listen to the horrible cries. The imp forced himself to remember what Stolas told him last night.
I don’t want you to see me go through it. I don’t want you to hear what’s happening to me. I don’t want you here for any of it.
(Is this why he doesn’t want me here? Is this what traumatized his kid? Oh, Stols…) With a heavy heart and tears forming in his eyes, he turned toward the stairs and ran from the sealed door. Away from the observatory. Away from the heart wrenching screams.
…Away from Stolas.
Chapter 28: The Taxidermists
Notes:
Warning: Animal cruelty and oc minor character deaths
Chapter Text
Blitz ran out to the van where Moxxie and Millie were waiting in the back seat.
“You ok Blitz?” Millie asked as he tried, with shaky hands, to get the keys in the ignition.
“Just peachy Mils, never better” he said with a panicked grin.
“What happened to your arm?” Millie asked, seeing his jacket sleeve torn and a little blood coming from the cut underneath it.
“Uh, nothing…. Just, um… a plant got me. Yeah… that’s it.” He lied. He didn’t want them to know he got hurt trying shoot a ward. Finally, he got the keys in and started the vehicle.
“Buckle up gang, its go time” he said, trying to sound calm and collected before flooring the gas pedal…causing him to crash into a nearby lamppost.
“Groan… sir, maybe someone else should drive?” Moxxie suggested as he rubbed his forehead where he hit it on Blitz’ seat.
“No, no… I can drive…the gas pedal just got stuck. We just haven’t driven it for a few days, is all” The taller imp reassured, before shifting the van in reverse.
"Alright, it’s go time… for reals this time.” Once again, Blitz floored the gas pedal… only to hit another lamppost behind them.
“Uh… it got stuck again?” He lied, looking back at the other imps, hoping they would believe his obvious lie. Moxxie glared at him while rubbing the back of his neck from the whiplash he received from the dual crashes.
"Umm… I’ll drive.” Millie voluntold her boss.
*****
Once they arrived at headquarters, they immediately got to work. Blitz and Moxxie did paperwork while Millie made sure their weapons were ready for their next assassination. Within the hour, they got their only client for the day.
This sinner wanted to kill a woman living in the bayou near his hometown. Apparently, she was a ‘taxidermist of sorts’. One lady, simple enough. Until it was revealed that she was part of a set of identical triplets… that happened to share the same name, but with different spelling.
“Alright gang let’s get this show on the road. Remember, we are after Emily, not Emmalee or Emilie. Got it?” Blitz told his employees holding up pictures of all three women. Their target (hopefully, he dropped the photos earlier) in one hand and her sisters in the other.
When the client said they were identical triplets he wasn’t kidding. They were in their thirties, obese with shaggy, poorly dyed blond hair and way too much makeup. In the photos, all three were wearing red polka dot midriffs and daisy duke shorts. Honestly, none of them could tell which one was which.
Blitz opened a portal to the human world, all but throwing the other two imps in before jumping in without looking where he portaled. Instead of landing on solid ground, the imps landed in murky bog water.
“Blech… you couldn’t portal us to somewhere dry, sir?” Moxxie complained as he tried to spit out the nasty water.
“It’s… to camouflage ourselves. You know how these hillbilly taxidermists can be. They could probably smell your cheap ass cologne a mile away.” Blitz tried to argue back.
“You said you liked my cologne,” Moxxie said, obviously hurt his boss lied to him about that.
“It’s ok sweetie. I like it. It makes you smell sexy,” his wife comforted. Moxxie smiled at Millie. Her opinion was more important than Blitz’s anyway. The taller imp rolled his eyes at the couple.
“Ugh, enough of that, you lovebirds. We got a job to do, and I’d like to get back to the palace as soon as possible.”
“But… aren’t we not allowed back til tonight?” Millie asked.
Oh, right…
“Well… I’d still like to get this thing done sometime this year. So, quit your bitching and let’s get killing.” He said before making his way to land. The married pair gave each other a concerned look, before they waddled their way to land. Within a few minutes the group came across their target’s home.
It was a rundown, two story house that looked like it should be condemned. All the dirty windows were either cracked or broken. The wooden sidings were rotten, the floorboards on the stairs and deck were broken and the roof had large holes in it. There was an equally run down shed off to the side. A rusty motorboat was tied to a rickety wooden dock near the shore. There was no sign of their target or her sisters.
“Alright, you two head into the house. I’m going to check the shed first and meet up with you shortly” Blitz told them before scampering over to the shed.
M&M headed to the house, carefully making their way up the broken steps and opening the unlocked, rotten door. Moxxie took one step inside and fell right through the floorboards.
“Moxxie!!” Millie yelled as her husband suddenly disappeared in front of her.
“Moxxie? Honey?” groaning, the male imp sat up, rubbing his head. Hearing his wife, he called up to her.
“I’m fine. You go on ahead and look for Emily. I’ll catch up to you.” He shouted. He turned around to look for some sort of exit, only to come face to face with an alligator. Shouting in surprise, he fired one of his pistols.
BANG
The gator fell. Moxxie got a better look at it. It wasn’t an alligator, or at least an entire one. Just its head. It was attached to the body of what looked to be a bear and had the arms of a human. Judging from the human remains, the imp had a bad feeling about what happened to their client after they died.
“Honey? Are you ok?” He heard Millie ask from above him. She grew worried when she heard her husband yell and the sound of a gunshot.
“I’m fine… but be careful. Looks like our target is a fan of Frankenstein.” He warned looking around. He was in some sort of cellar. The ground was a dirt floor, the walls were covered in black mold and a single lightbulb dangling from the ceiling was the only source of light. With that light, Moxxie was able to see why the client referred to the target as a ‘taxidermist of sorts’.
There were several other disturbing creations in the cellar. A beaver’s body with three duck heads attached to its neck, a deer body with a human torso and a cow head looking like a demented centaur, and on the table, was a human head (probably the client) with snakes going through their eye sockets and mouth. There were other monstrous creations, but these were what stood out to the imp.
“This is creepy as fuuucckkk.” he muttered to himself, taking out of his phone to take pictures of the disturbing stuffed corpses. Via liked taxidermy, so maybe she would like them. He pulled up her cell phone number she gave to the I.M.P. employees earlier this week.
<Moxxie to Princess Octavia> 9/19 10:47 am: (image of a beaver body with three duck heads attached to its neck)
<Moxxie to Princess Octavia> 9/19 10:47 am: (an image of a deer body with a human torso and a cow head looking like a demented centaur)
<Moxxie to Princess Octavia> 9/19 10:47 am: (an image of a human head with snakes going through their eye sockets and mouth)
<Moxxie to Princess Octavia> 9/19 10:48 am: On job. Target has these. Thot u might like them.
As Moxxie hit the final send, a shadow descended on him.
“Well, lookie here. A possum” A female voice with a heavy southern accent said from behind. He spun around coming face to face with his target (or at least he hoped it was) holding a large mallet. “Now come here darlin’… I’m just gonna make ya go night, night.” She said sweetly holding the mallet above the imp’s head.
Moxxie barely managed to dodge. He slid between her legs, getting to a safe distance before firing his pistols at her.
BANG BANG
The crazy lady somehow managed dodged his bullets. (How can someone that fat be so fast?)
“Ooohh, yer a feisty one ain’t ya” with a wicked grin, the blonde woman threw her mallet at the imp. Moxxie barely dodged, jumping onto the table, he threw the head with snakes at her. It hit her square on her forehead. While she was clutching injury, Moxxie ran up some rotting stairs behind her, making his way back to the main floor.
There were more of those grotesque creations around the house. There was a small raccoon with a chicken head, a horse head with deer antlers and a pig shout mounted on the wall (good thing Blitz wasn’t there to see that) and a porcupine with gator eyes and bird legs to name a few.
“Now where’d ya go?” He heard his pursuer’s southern twang. He hid between two possums with rabbit ears on a dirty fireplace. The woman with the mallet almost walked past him before noticing him in his hiding spot.
“There ya are” she said happily. The woman raised her mallet, ready to bash his head in, when, suddenly, she was sliced in half. As her body fell, the imp saw his rescuer was none other than the love of his life.
“Millie!!” Moxxie shouted, happy that his wife saved him from the lunatic. He reached for her, ready to give her a big hug when….
BANG
A shotgun went off, narrowly missing the pair.
“Aw, them possums gone and killed Emmy.” Another heavily accented female voice came. On top of the staircase leading to the second floor, stood another of the triplets, holding a smoking, old shotgun. “Oh well, guess we can stuff her too.” She replied casually as she descended the stairs, her gun still aiming at the imps.
Moxxie and Millies scattered. She couldn’t shoot them both if they weren’t near each other. Millie lunged up at her with battleax in hand. As she was about to land a killing blow, the lady swung her gun at the imp, hitting her hard enough to send her flying.
“Millie!” her husband yelled as she crashed into the wall with enough force to create a hole.
“Aw, such pretty possums. Ya’ll look good on some gator bodies. Or better yet, goose wings. N’ I’ll have ya danglin on the ceiling. How bout that? Angel possums ya’ll be.” She took aim at the female imp.
Moxxie looked up above the crazy woman as she spoke. The wood above it was rotten, he aimed his pistols and fired.
BANG BANG BANG
The ceiling broke, collapsing on the woman. The force was enough that the spot under her collapsed as well, causing her to fall into the basement. Moxxie ran to his wife, helping her sit up.
“You ok honey?” He asked her, worriedly.
“I’m fine.” she reassured They heard frustrated yelling from the hole in the floor. Looking down, they saw the fat blonde woman struggling to get out of the debris trapping her.
Moxxie took aim. “We are not possums” and fired.
BANG
A clean shot through the head. It was over. Two of the three triplets were dead (hopefully one of them was their target.)
“Do you think that was Emily or maybe her?” Millie asked pointing to the bisected woman on the other end of the room.
“Not sure. They could have been Emmalee and Emilie. Ok, seriously. Who gives their kids the exact same name but with different spelling? That’s just tacky” the male imp ranted. Either way, there was still one sister left. They went up the stairs to go look for her. Hopefully there was a way to tell if she is their target.
*****
Meanwhile…
Blitz entered the shed. There were a lot of rusty tools in there. Chainsaw, bolt cutters, and mallets to name a few. In the corner he saw a stained tarp that seemed to be out of place and a strange pulley system above them. Weird. He pulled the tarp off revealing a wooden trapdoor. (Bingo).
He tried to lift it, but it was locked. “Grrr… What’s a guy gotta do around here to kill someone?” he asked himself. The wood on the door looked rotten enough to break.
Blitz could have used the chainsaw or a mallet to break it, but in his attempt to hurry up with the mission, he decided to jump up and down on top of the trapdoor until it gave in. The imp fell through the broken door, landing on his front, his left leg somehow getting stuck on his horn.
After untangling himself, he looked around the room. There were several rusted cages of all sizes around him. Some were empty while others had emaciated or mutilated animals in them.
He saw a pig that was all skin and bones, a raccoon missing its front paws and one thing that’s been dead for so long that he couldn’t tell what it was. He wasn’t sure if anything in here was still alive or not.
“Ok… I’m getting serious horror movie vibes.” He whipped out his gun and quietly made his way through the strange room. He spotted a door with a cracked window at the end of the cage room. When he looked through, he saw his target. Or at least he thought it was her.
Her back was to the door, a table in front of her with her various instruments of torture lined the walls. A small cage was off to the side, and he heard something give a pained screech.
Blitz kicked the door down, pointing the gun at her. Emily (or one of her sisters) turned to look at him, a large, bloody knife in one hand and her other holding down her victim. He caught a glimpse of what she was torturing.
A barn owl.
“Let the bird go, bitch!” Blitz ordered menacingly. The woman threw her knife at the imp. He dodged it right before it him in the eye and fired.
BANG
She somehow dodged before lunging at him. The imp dodged before retreating into the cage room, hiding behind one of the top cages. “Here possum, possum, possum” she called for him, brandishing her knife.
“Don’t worry, I aint gonna hurt ya… I just wanna make ya pretty, is all. Wanna be part owl?” she asked in a sickeningly sweet voice.
From his hiding spot, Blitz took out the apple he snagged from the palace earlier, throwing it to the cage on the opposite side of the room, the one with the mysterious dead thing in it. It hit the cage.
CLANG
The woman threw her knife at the mystery animal’s cage, thinking she hit her target. She was distracted enough that she didn’t see or hear Blitz push the cage he was hiding behind until it fell over.
The owl torturer turned as she heard a cage fall from above her. She rolled out of the way before it hit her, only to come face to face with the barrel of Blitz’s gun.
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG click… click… click
Blitz kept firing until he ran out of bullets. Panting, he stepped away from the bloodied, bullet filled corpse and walked back to the owl on the table. It was badly hurt, but still alive.
Both wings looked broken, and its left leg had just been cut off. Looking in its heart-shaped face, into its eyes, he couldn’t help thinking of another certain owl that’s suffering right now.
“Easy, little guy. I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m here to help.” He said gently, petting the poor bird in a way he knew Stolas liked to be petted. The owl seemed to understand that the imp wasn’t going to hurt it.
Blitz took off his jacket, carefully wrapping it around the injured bird so as not to startle or hurt it further. He might not be able to help his owl right now, but maybe he could do something for this one.
“Good bird, such a pretty bird. I’m gonna call you Lemonade, since you’re so sweet and life gave you a crap ton of lemons.” He spoke quietly to the owl.
Carefully he picked up Lemonade and walked out of the room. He checked the other cages first for any other survivors (unfortunately, there were none.) Kicking the fat woman’s corpse as hard as he could, he made his way out of the caged room and back outside.
Moxxie and Millie were waiting for him near the dock with the boat. They couldn’t find anyone else in the house so they figured either the mottled imp found her, or she would show up sooner or later. “Hey, I got the target…I think.” he told the other imps.
“We got her sisters, sir. What’s that?” Moxxie pointed to the injured owl bundled in his jacket.
“Found him in the shed, along with some of their other victims. Poor little guy was the sole survivor. His name’s Lemonade.” He looked down at the owl wrapped in his arms, screeching in pain.
“You do know we can’t take it back home with us, right sir? It wouldn’t survive in hell.” Moxxie asked gently. Blitz rarely cared about the wellbeing of another animal that wasn’t a horse.
Blitz glared at the imp. “I’m well aware of that Mox, which is why we’re gonna make a quick stop before we head back.”
*****
They took a yellow minidress, a sheet, and a straw hat they found in the house before portaling to a wildlife rescue center many miles away from their target’s location. Blitz reluctantly moved the injured bird from his jacket to the sheet, gently wrapping it up so it wouldn’t be hurt further.
It took a lot of convincing and a written promise that there would be no photos this time for Moxxie to don the dress and hat. Soon it looked like he was a short, human woman. They could have Millie disguise herself, but Blitz believed Moxxie would be better suited to handle Lemonade and get information on the owl’s condition.
(Damn, too bad I swore I wouldn’t take pictures. He looks hot in that dress. If we’re ever low on cash, we’re definitely doing a pinup calendar of just Moxxie in dresses.) Reluctantly, Blitz handed the owl over to the other male imp.
Millie put a hand on Blitz shoulder from their hiding spot as they watched the crossdressing imp take the injured owl inside the building. “It’ll be ok B. He’s in good hands now.”
They waited for a little while before the imp came out. “Well?” Blitz asked. He wanted to know what they said about Lemonade.
“I told them I found some teenagers torturing it when I…”
“Yeah, yeah, I don’t care about the backstory, Mox. Just tell me what they said about Lemonade!” he demanded impatiently. The smaller imp glared at being interrupted before continuing.
“They say that they will do what they can. Unfortunately, because of its leg, it won’t survive on its own, so there’s no chance it’ll be released back into the wild."
“So what? They’re just gonna let Lemonade die?” Blitz asked worriedly.
“No, sir it just means that Lemonade will live out the rest of its life in a sanctuary or a zoo.” Blitz looked away frowning at that. Maybe if he got there sooner instead of gawking at the corpses in the cages, Lemonade would still have both legs, make a full recovery and be free again.
“Look on the bright side B, you saved Lemonade from a horrible death and now it’ll be taken care of for the rest of its life.” Millie comforted.
“I guess your right…whelp, that’s our good deed for the day. What do you say we go back home now?” He asked.
He opened a portal back to their headquarters, hoping that it would be dark enough that they could return to the palace. There was another owl that needed him.
Chapter 29: A Shoulder to Cry On
Chapter Text
The client paid them for their service but was very unhappy that they killed all three sisters and not just Emily like he asked. (I don’t know what he’s bitching about. Not our fault they were practically clones. Besides it was self-defense, and we got the job done.)
Blitz checked his phone. It was 2:46 pm. Two hours and Fourteen minutes til they closed for the day. (Surely, it’s dark enough that we can go back now, right?) Blitz looked out the dirty window. The sun was still out, mocking him. (Satan dammit! Hurry the fuck up and go down already!)
‘Hey B?” Blitz turned to look at his employees from his spot at his desk. “Moxxie and I are thinking we should all go to Hellmart. It’ll pass the time and we can get some grocery shopping done. That ok with you?” she asked.
‘Yea, sure Mil’s, you guys go on ahead. I’ll just portal back when I’m done here” he said absentmindedly, tossing the keys to her.
“Sir, I know you’re worried, we are too, but he’ll be ok. Vassago knows what he’s doing.” Moxxie reassured him.
“Pfft… I’m not worried… they’re probably just… reading some spells or something” he lied, trying to reassure them. They had no reason to be as worried as he was. They didn’t hear Stolas scream like that. “Anyway… you guys better get going before you’re trapped in Hellmart all night” he told them with a forced smile.
“Text us if you need anything.” Moxxie offered as the couple left the office, flipping the ‘we’re closed’ sign as they left.
Left alone in the office, with nothing to do other than paperwork (he was definitely not in the right headspace for that), Blitz figured he would play a game of ‘Shoot or Pass’. That usually makes him feel better whenever he’s stressed.
He grabbed the shotgun and put a tv on the table. Grabbing the remote, he flipped through the channels. But it seems the universe didn’t want him to be distracted this time.
An anime where a samurai was performing seppuku, a Hella-Novella episode where Gabriella is in a coma, a music video of a porn star singing a song with poison in the lyrics, a medical show where a succubus is coughing up blood, a horror movie with a woman screaming, a documentary about barn owls. (Seriously what the fuck's with all these channels?) He fired on the next channel, not bothering to look to see what was playing.
He felt his phone vibrate from his pocket. As he went to grab it, he touched something soft. Pulling the soft thing out, he found a tan feather with dark spots on it. One of Lemonade’s feathers. He held it close briefly, thinking of the owl he just saved, before putting it on the table. He grabbed his phone. It was a text from Fizz.
< Fizz to Blitzo> 9/19 2:57 pm : Hey, hws Stolas. He wke yet?:
Blitz had told Fizz a few days ago that the bird was asleep after the ritual and that he would keep him updated when he woke up. Guess he forgot. Tears formed in his eyes. He couldn’t hold it anymore, he couldn’t be alone with his thoughts anymore. He didn’t want to bother M&M or the girls with his baggage, he had to be strong for them. But Fizz? He could tell Fizz anything. He dialed the other imp’s number.
Burrr…The jester picked up after the first ring. “Blitz?”
“Fizz, can I come over?” His voice was breaking but he didn’t care.
“Uh, yea sure… you ok buddy?”
“I… I just need to talk to you, like right now”
“Ok yea, I’ll see you soon.”
That was all he needed. The imp opened a portal to the lust ring and hopped on through.
*****
Once Fizz saw the look in his eyes, he guided his friend up to his and Ozzie’s penthouse through a backdoor. Seating him at the kitchen table, he made his friend some store-bought tea.
“What happened?” Fizz asked as he handed him the black tea. Blitz took a shaky sip, (A million times better than that crap Via made yesterday) before speaking.
“Sigh… Stolas. He… he woke up yesterday”
“Hey, that’s great!” the jester said cheerfully.
“Yeah, well… not really…”
“What did you do?” Fizz asked suspiciously.
“Nothing!” he defended himself. The jester raised an eyebrow like he didn’t believe him.
“I swear, nothing, well… we …did something to wake him up… it …wasn’t pretty.” Blitz said as he looked down in his black tea. He didn’t want to tell his friend about how they woke Stolas or that he had to ignore his safe word in order to help him.
“But he’s awake now? What’s the problem? You guys have a fight or something?” Fizz was confused. Blitz had been so worried about the owl, so why wasn’t he happy that he was awake? What was he doing here instead of being with his lover?
Blitz looked back up at the jester at the accusation. “No… I swear on the strap-on Millie pegs Moxxie with! It’s nothing like that… sigh…anyway, he woke up. But… last night he… got sick… really sick… and not like the flu. His mana… you know what that is right?” He looked at Fizz who nodded. Ozzie told him a little bit about it before, how it’s basically a person’s magic. Blitz looked back down at his tea.
“A-anyway, his mana was so low… a-and not recovering right… it poisoned him.” Fizz’s eyes widened in horror. “He… he was coughing up blood a-and was in so much pain all night. H-he was suffering, Fizz, a-and I couldn’t help him.” Blitz’s voice was breaking, he was willing himself not to cry.
“Oh, Blitz… Is he…?” Fizz trailed off, as he put a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. Blitz knew what Fizz was asking.
“I-I don’t know… Vassago, he…he had to do this thing called a purification on him today. I-I guess it’s the only way to cure him… Stolas, he… he didn’t want us there during it, so we’ve been kicked out until tonight” he looked back to his friend, who opened his mouth to speak.
“I swear we didn’t do anything; he didn’t want anyone there, not even his kid.” He defended himself before the jester could accuse him of something.
“Sigh…but Stolas… h-he was so scared of whatever they’re doing. He had at least two panic attacks that I know of just thinking about it.” His voice was beginning to break as tears formed in his eyes.
“A-and b-before I left I... I decided to do a p-perimeter check …. I-I went near w-where they were d-doing it and…and I heard him scream. I-I’ve never heard him scream like that, Fizz. I’ve never heard anyone scream like that. N-not s-since-m-mom…” he couldn’t force himself to finish. Tears were flowing now. The events of the last few days are finally taking their toll.
“Come here bud.” Fizz said gently as he wrapped his robotic arms around his friend in a tight hug, letting him cry on his shoulder. “Hey, its ok, just let it out”. He let his friend cry his heart out. After several minutes Blitz pulled away.
“Sigh…thanks, Fizz” he said shakily, wiping the tears from his eyes.
“Don’t worry about it. I get it. It’s tough watching someone you love suffer and not being able to help them.”
“I…I don’t love Stolas, Fizz” he lied. “We have a transactional thing going. That’s it.”
“Blitz… you were blowing up his phone for a month, stayed with him while he was in a coma, and literally just cried because you’re worried about him. You wouldn’t do that for something ‘transactional’” Fizz said deadpanned with air quotes. “Admit it. You love him.”
“It’s transactional” the mottled imp reiterated.
“I swear, Blitzo, if you say transactional one more time…” he left the threat hanging.
“Sigh…even if I did, which I don’t, he’s a fucking prince. And I’m just an imp, it would never work. Besides I doubt he even loves me. How could anyone love me?” Blitz retorted dejectedly.
(Afterall, Stolas sounded happier when he was with Vassago… then again, he did say they were best friends. But… he only wanted cuddles last night because it’s the closest thing to sex he can do right now… yet we were having a good time just talking… I think. Well, he didn’t even want me at the palace today. Then again… he didn’t even want Via there, and after what I heard, I could see why…)
“Blitz… I’m an imp and I’m in a relationship with the sexiest sin ever. If it works for us, it can work for you. And I know for a fact that Stolas loves you.” Fizz tried to get him to see reason.
“Pfft… yea right” Blitz responded with an eyeroll.
“I swear to all that is unholy… you are so fucking dense!” The jester got up, grabbing his friend by the shoulders, forcing him to make eye contact.
“He laughs at your jokes, and no offense, but your jokes are a very acquired taste. He chats with you just to chat. When you guys were at Ozzie’s, I could practically see little hearts floating above his head whenever he looked at you… trust me,” Fizz started shaking him so it would get through his friends’ thick skull.
“He! Loves! You!” Fizz enunciated, with each firm shake. “And if you still don’t believe me just fucking talk to him!” he said as he continued to shake the mottled imp.
“Ok, ok! I get it! … Stop shaking me dammit! You’re giving me whiplash!”
Fizz stopped, letting go of Blitz. “And… if you need further proof that he loves you, you’re wearing it” the jester said with a smirk, seeing the crystal.
“What, my jacket? I’ve had it…”
“No, dumbass. Your crystal... the one Stolas gave you? Ozzie doesn’t just hand those out, you know.” Fizz said with an eyeroll. Seriously, how did Blitz survive this long being so dense?
“He didn’t give it to me. He’s lending it to me. Since he couldn’t help us go to the human world while he was doing his moon thing? Once he’s all better, things are going back to the way they were.” Blitz told his friend, while rubbing his neck. Fizz shakes hard. He’s surprised his neck didn’t snap.
Blitz looked at the other imp, who had a confused look on his face.
“What? What’s with the face?” Blitz asked.
“Ozzie told me that Stolas came to him personally to request a crystal for you. He told Ozzie it was because he has feelings for you.”
“What? You sure?” That can’t be right.
“Yeah, Oz was gonna say no because of our history, but I convinced him to give it to him… Blitz, you, ok?” Fizz asked concerned at the face his friend was making as he looked down at the crystal on his glove.
“Uh, yea just thinking” he replied absentmindedly.
(The crystal from the prophecy… it’s definitely this one. Does this mean he’s ending our arrangement after all? I really need to talk to him about this)
“Froggie, I’m home.” The imps turned as they heard Asmodeus enter the penthouse.
“Ozzie!” Fizz used his robotic limbs to launch himself at his lover, who dutifully caught him, bringing him into a loving embrace.
“Hey Babe, you would not believe the day I’ve had. But guess what? I got the Dragon Driller 5000 approved. What do you say I make dinner first, then we go try it out.” The sin of lust said seductively.
“Ugh… get a room you two” Blitz joked with an eyeroll.
“We are in a room, you prude’ Fizz joked back as he hoped down from Ozzie.
“Oh, hey Blitz. How’s Stolas? He doing any better?” He greeted his guest as he walked by to start making dinner. As much as he loved his imp, there was no way he would trust Fizz with cooking. Not after he set the stove on fire boiling pasta.
“Um, well… not really, I’m afraid.” Blitz said. He didn’t want to start crying again.
“Sorry to hear that. Hope he gets better soon”
“Same… say, you do magic right?” the mottled imp asked. Maybe Ozzie knows what’s happening to Stolas.
“If you’re asking for a healing spell, I’m afraid you’re asking the wrong guy. Those aren’t really my forte” the sin of lust said as he turned his back to the imp, pulling out a frying pan from a cupboard.
“No, I’m not" (well good to know that I can’t anyway). "Stolas is doing a purification today. Do you know what that is?” he asks. The king of lust tenses at his question, gripping the pan he was holding tightly.
“Ozzie?” Fizz asked, worried at his lovers’ reaction.
“Poor bird...” they heard Ozzie mutter before he turned to the mottled imp. “Yeah, I know what it is. I’m guessing he got mana poisoning?” he asked. Blitz nodded.
“Yeah, it was really bad when Vassago took him to do it this morning… so can you tell me what’s happening to him?” he asked. He was starting to get worried with how the sin acted.
Asmodeus internally debated for a moment whether or not he should explain what happens during purifications to the imp. “Its best you don’t know.”
“But I…” Blitz was interrupted when the Sin of lust was suddenly at face level with him gripping his shoulders.
“Trust me. You don’t.” Asmodeus said seriously.
“It’s that bad?” Blitz watched as the sin of lust nodded his heads seriously. Ok, now he was really worried about Stolas.
“I’ve had to go through that ritual only once, after I got mana poisoning after a very powerful lust ritual, and once was way too many. It hurts… real bad…both in body and soul. That’s all I’m gonna say.” The sin told him.
(Guess that explains the panic attacks he had last night. As soon as I get back, Stolas is getting all the cuddles.) “But fair warning, once he’s done, he might not want you anywhere near him right away.” Ozzie added, as if reading his mind.
“What? Why? The fuck I do?” Blitz asked, looking at Fizz as if he had answers. The jester just returned a confused and worried look. Why wouldn’t the owl want him near him? Especially if what Fizz said was true.
“I’ve been a keeper and had to perform one on three of my vessels. They didn’t want anyone, including me, near them afterwords. When I went through it, I didn’t want anyone near me either. He might be the opposite, but I’m just talking from my personal experience. Like I said, it really, really hurts.” The sin told the imp.
“Ok I get it. It’s bad. But… it will cure him, and he’ll get better, right?” Ozzie didn’t answer right away. He didn’t want to give him false hope, but he also didn’t want to distress the imp.
“Right??” he asked a little more desperately. Ok, the king of lust was scaring him now. And, judging by the look on Fizz’s face, he was scaring him too.
“Yeah… if everything goes accordingly.” he finally answered, rubbing the back of his neck, looking away from the mottled imp. Trying to figure out the best way to explain the risks without scaring either of the imps.
“The hells that supposed to mean? You mean it might not work? Then what, they do something else?”
“No, unfortunately, purifications are the only way to cure mana poisoning” Ozzie said gently.
“So, then what? He’ll be sick forever? They do it again? What???”
“Blitz, not trying to scare you, but purifications are very powerful, very precise rituals. You have to do them correctly, without any complications in order for them to work. If everything goes right, then, yes, Stolas will be cured of mana poisoning.” He tried explaining to the imp.
“And if it doesn’t? Will they have to keep doing it until they get it right?” he asked. If it was bad enough that it scared the sin of lust, he didn’t think Stolas could handle it again.
Ozzie shook his head.
“Sigh… if his keeper makes even the smallest mistake or Stolas isn’t strong enough, then… he won’t survive the ritual.” Blitz’s eyes widened in horror.
He knew Vassago would make sure everything was correct. He’s known what to do for everything so far, right? But Stolas?
He was so weak when he left. He could barely speak, barely even open his eyes. Blitz thought about the prophecy, specifically the end where Stolas was drowning, fading into oblivion. (I read it wrong. It’s not him ending our arrangement… It’s him dying!)
“Blitz?” He vaguely heard Fizz say his name, but he sounded too far away.
(No…no he can’t be dead! He can’t be!)
“I gotta go.” He said as he opened a portal to the palace before jumping through, landing in the foyer near the observatory, vaguely remembering Vassago’s request to not portal in the bedroom. Besides they might still be doing the ritual, Stolas might still be up there. He needed to know.
As he ran up the spiral staircase, his panic grew. He couldn’t hear any screams. In fact, he couldn’t hear anything.
Finally, he got to the top. The ward was gone, and the door was slightly ajar. Blitz barged into the room. Through the red glow of the sun cascading from the glass ceiling, he saw melted candles, crystals, the several rings etched onto the floor, inactive wards on the walls, and, off to the side, a red, ornate box. Sitting in a small pile next to the box was a round, empty glass bottle and three blood-stained knives.
In the center of the room, inside the innermost ring, he could spot two thick books (the Goetia’s grimoires) and some familiar grey feathers on the blood-stained floor (not enough blood to completely cover the floor like the lunar ritual, but enough to be concerning).
Neither of the Goetia were in the observatory.
Blitz ran out of the room and down the winding staircase, tripping halfway down and falling hard on his ass. He got up quickly and bolted down the foyer. He could worry about his bruised tail later. Right now, he had to get to Stolas’ room. He had to be in there. He just had to be.
He was running past the kitchen, toward the bedroom, when he spotted someone in there. He paused to see who it was.
It was Vassago, sitting alone on a chair near the table. His glasses were in one hand while the other was cradling his head, covering his eyes.
“Vassago” the imp called to get the parrots attention.
The parrot looked up at him to the sound of his name. His face was tear stained.
(No… please no)
“Stolas… i-is he? … Where is he???”
Chapter 30: The Purification
Notes:
Warning: ritualistic cutting
Chapter Text
Earlier that day…
Vassago entered the observatory with Stolas in his arms. He turned to seal the door with a ward before tossing aside the blanket covering his friend, causing the owl to let out a small shiver.
The etchings and crystals were all in place, the candles lit with green hellfire, just as he left them when he went to collect Stolas.
For this ritual, Vassago will be using all three types of magic to call on the pure, raw dark magic of Hell to enter into Stolas. The magic would rip apart his mana, his essence, his very being, in order to remove any magical impurities within his body and mana. It was painful, violating and, unfortunately, the only cure for mana poisoning.
Carefully, the parrot made his way to the center of the room, gently placing the owl inside the inner ring, between both of their grimoires. Vassago’s grimoire was on his right and Stolas’ on his left. Both books were opened to very specific pages.
Leaving his friend for a moment, he went to the box where he left it off to the side of the room. Opening it, he took out a round bottle of pure black liquid (Damned essence), a rune engraved orichalcum dagger with a hilt of black tourmaline (about five inches and less ornate than the one used during the lunar ritual) and two rune engraved, seven-inch knives made of mithril, the hilts decorated with moonstone.
The essence helps weaken magic impurities within the vessels’ mana and body, making it easier for the pure magic to destroy it. The magic within the metal of the orichalcum would help guide the magic toward the vessel while mithril will help manipulate the magic to the keepers will.
Returning to his friend’s side, he uncorked the damned essence and lifted Stolas’ head to force him to drink the thick, foul liquid. Once he choked all the essence down, he was laid flat on the ground.
Then, taking the orichalcum knife, Vassago began carving glyphs into Stolas body. He rotated his body to get his back and sides once his front was covered. The owl whimpered as the knife cut sensitive areas but did not try to get away from the blade, whether from resignation or from weakness of his condition it was hard to say at this point. The only place that was not touched by the knife was his chest and head.
Once that was done, Vassago carved a ring of Solomon into the owl’s chest with one of the mithril knives. Stolas dug his fingers into the floor as he tried to hold still for this, chittering as the blade cut deeper than the orichalcum blade had. Soon, Stolas was black with blood, fighting for breath from the pain and mana poison. The parrot cut his own finger, before he traced another seal on the owl’s head, between his four eyes with his own blood, before he dipped his fingers in Stolas’ blood, drawing the same seal on his own forehead, linking the two.
Vassago looked at his friend one last time before collecting the blades and empty bottle, walking to the outermost circle until he was completely outside of all the rings he put the supplies by the box, only keeping the mithril knife he used on himself for the owl’s head marking, then walked to his designated area.
Taking the mithril knife, he stabbed both his hands clean through before discarding the knife, throwing it toward the others, and turning into his eldritch form. Raising his bleeding claws in the direction of the grimoires, he muttered an incantation, the seal on the parrots forehead began glowing red as the spell begun. The grimoires levitated from the ground, giving off an ominous black glow.
The hellfire of the candles grew larger as magic permeated the observatory. The magic of the crystals started drawing toward their respective rings, giving them the magic they need. The outermost ring started to glow, then the one next to it started glowing. Slowly, the glow made its way to the carved owl.
Once the inner ring was glowing, the owl was raised in the air. A dome of magic appeared around him, holding the vessel in place. Once he was levitated, Vassago moved his claws to Stolas’ direction, focusing on the magic toward him before the dark magic of the grimoires suddenly rushed into the owl.
Stolas screamed in absolute pain as the pure, raw magic entered him through the carved glyphs. Red began glowing from the seal of Solomon on his chest and the mark on his forehead.
He could feel the damned essence burn his body from within, the carved glyphs bleeding out, what little mana he had being shredded. He could feel the darkness of the magic just tearing his very being asunder. It was pure, unadulterated agony.
He couldn’t move even if he wanted to, the magic holding him as it was tearing him from within. He could barely even think, it hurt so much.
Vassago concentrated on his task at hand. Watching as the darkness poured into his friend, willing himself to ignore the screams of pain and distress. Stolas had to do one on him once before years ago. He knew exactly what his friend was enduring. But this was the only chance they had to cleanse the owl’s mana. He had to do this. He couldn’t make any mistakes. If this didn’t work, Stolas will die.
As the first hour passed, the outer ring gradually lost its glow. Once the ring lost its glow completely, Vassago clenched his claws and crossed his arms, cutting off the flow of magic briefly. The magic within Stolas pulsed out through the red seal on his chest, putting out the candles within the outer ring. One down, six to go. Vassago willed himself to focus, as he moved his hands back into the direction of his vessel.
“…n-no m-mor… AAAHHHHH!!!” Stolas begged, before another scream escaped as another wave of dark magic forced into his carved body.
Tears fell from Vassago’s eyes as he heard his friend beg. (I’m so sorry, Stolas). He forced himself to continue, to focus, as Stolas screamed from the pain of his body and the torture of his very being.
*****
Six hours later…
It was almost over. They were in the last ring. The dark magic still entered the owl who was bleeding out, screaming and crying in pain. The inner ring was losing its glow. Soon, the grimoires will rip out the magic they’ve been pouring into him. (Hold on Stolas, just a little longer)
Finally, the ring’s glow faded, Vassago clenched his claws and crossed them as a final pulse of magic put out the flames. The eldritch parrot then spread his arms wide open before bringing them together. The dark magic of the grimoires stopped entering the owl, their dark glow changed to a bright white before the magic was suddenly ripped out of Stolas through his seals. The pain was too much. As the magic that was forced into him, ripping apart his very essence, was suddenly torn out of him, he gave one final blood curdling scream before he knew no more.
Once the grimoires absorbed all the magic, they lost their glow, closed themselves and fell to the floor with a dull thud. With no magic left holding him, the owls body dropped lifelessly to the floor as well.
It was over. Vassago quickly changed back into his normal form before he ran over to friends still body.
*****
Two hours later…
Vassago had taken Stolas to his room immediately to get him clean and treat his wounds. While he was cleaning the owl in his bathtub, he conjured clean bedding to replace the bloodstained ones from the previous night.
He just finished cleaning his wounds with various potions and salves before dressing them. Stolas didn’t stir for any of it. Good. After the nightmare he went through, he could use some rest.
The parrot decided that now would be a good time to measure his mana. Placing the stones and tracing the path, he read 4%.
His mana was once again really low, but this was a good sign. After purifications, a vessels mana was so torn there was nothing left, essentially depleting it. This way they can restart recovering it correctly. Stolas has regained more mana in the first few hours after this ritual than he had the first twenty-four hours after the lunar one. Hopefully, this time around he will actually make a full recovery.
Vassago was just about to give the owl some water with herbs and crystals when Stolas’ dialated eyes suddenly flew open, startling the parrot.
“N-no m-more... P-please…. N-no m-more” he whimpered, his voice quiet and hoarse. (How’s he awake? He shouldn’t be awake yet with his mana this low).
“Stolas… are you…?” he stopped as Stolas tried getting up only to collapse with a whimper. Vassago reached for his friend, only to have him let out a small cry of fear. It hurt the parrot to see his friend this way, but he understood. Purifications were pure torture and could mess with the vessels head once they came out of it.
He watched Stolas close his eyes and muster enough strength to curl up into a ball facing away from the parrot, chittering as he did so. Not able to do anything more, he placed a new blanket over Stolas’ body. The owl clutched the blanket tightly, as if it was the only thing protecting him.
After watching for a few minutes, Vassago finally spoke. “I’m gonna make you some tea. It will help.” He tried placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, only for him to flinch away. Sighing, Vassago left the bedroom. Hopefully the owl would calm down a bit if he was alone for a few minutes.
Making his way into the kitchen, he put the herbs he thought would be best in a bowl. Chicory, yarrow, st johns wort, moly, stinging nettle, poppy, bitterroot and a tiny bit of mandrake. Those should be enough. He figured once it was finished, he would add a little bit of raw honey to it as well. Hopefully, it’ll be easier to entice the owl to drink it if it had a bit of sweetness.
As the water was heating in the kettle, he shakily sat down on a nearby chair. Removing his glasses, he put his hand over his tired eyes. The day’s events took its toll on him as well.
“Vassago” the parrot looked up at the sound of his name. Only to be met with a distressed looking Blitz.
“Stolas…i-is he? … Where is he???”
Chapter 31: The Parrot and the Imp
Chapter Text
Vassago was silent, looking at the imp, not really understanding why he was in the kitchen. Didn’t he say to come back after dark? It wasn’t even sunset yet.
“Where is he???” the imp repeated a little more forcefully. He felt tears forming in his eyes (He can’t be dead. He just can’t be).
"He’s recovering in his room” Vassago finally answered.
“So…he’s alive? He’s ok?” he asked hopefully.
“The purification was a success, if that’s what you mean.”
Blitz sighed in relief, before turning to go to the bedroom. He had an owl that he promised cuddles to.
“If you’re thinking of going to see him, then stop. He’s in no condition for company at the moment” that got the imp to stop.
“The hell you mean I can’t see him? You said he’s ok!” he said irritatingly. After all the stress he went through today, he wanted to spend time with his owl.
“I said he’s recovering. Right now, he’s… not in the best headspace.” The parrot said vaguely.
HIGH PITCHED WHISTLING
Blitz jumped at the sound behind him, only to turn around to see a tea kettle on the stove. Vassago, started to rise to remove the kettle. Blitz couldn’t help but notice the bandages on both the parrots hands nor how he shakily tried to stand.
“You ok?” Blitz asked. The parrot might not be his favorite person at the moment, but he could still be concerned. Especially since he just cured Stolas.
“I’ll manage. Purifications require all three magics. Luckily the ritual doesn’t take too long, so I’m in no danger of mana depletion. But it does take a toll.” the parrot explained.
“Here I got it,” the imp offered as he went to the stove.
“Thanks. The herbs are in the bowl next to you. A handful should be plenty”. The parrot told him as he sat down again.
“So why were you crying? If you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine, just curious” the imp asked the tearstained parrot as he threw a handful of the herbs in the kettle, letting it steep.
“Sigh…imagine you had to subject someone you care about to the worst thing imaginable in order to save their life. How would you react?” the parrot asked. Blitz hadn’t thought about it like that. He heard Stolas’ horrible screams, but Vassago was the cause of it.
“Sorry. I get it”
“…Where is everyone?” the parrot asked, noticing the lack of demons.
“Loona and Via are probably still in Gluttony at a party. M&M are at Hellmart, getting groceries. By the way, you need them to pick up anything?” the imp offered.
“Some more bandages if it’s no trouble. I want to make sure that there is enough for Stolas.”
“Uh… sure” he said as he took out his phone, a little worried by that statement. He saw a text message from Loona. He decided to pull it up first. He needed to make sure the girls were ok.
<Looney to Blitzo> 9/19 3:02pm: Wtf. y r u in human wrld?:
He forgot to let his daughter know that they were kicked out for the day. Oops.
<Blitzo to Looney> 9/19 4:38pm: He dnt wnt us hre 4 ths. Did wrk til don. Jst got bk. Hws prty? Do u nd me 2 pck u up?:
He then pulled up Millie’s contact.
<Blitzo to Millie> 9/19 4:39pm: cn u pck up mr bndges 4 stls? Vas almst out:
<Millie to Blitzo> 9/19 4:41pm: k:
<Blitzo to Millie> 9/19 4:41pm: thnx. Btw thy don. U cn cum bak:
“Alright they said they’ll pick up some.”
“Thanks… tea should be ready. Add a spoonful of that honey to Stolas’ if you could. And help yourself to some as well. You look like you need some” Vassago said, gesturing to the mentioned honey.
“Funny, I was about to say the exact same to you” the imp retorted.
Blitz grabbed three teacups, one for both Goetia and one for himself. The parrot was right. After all the stress he went through today, he could use something to calm his nerves. After adding the honey, he handed a cup to Vassago, who downed his piping hot tea in one go. Blitz took a sip of his own and forced himself to swallow the awful brew, so not to seem rude to the guy that saved Stolas. The owl wasn’t kidding when he said Vassago sucked at making tea.
(Sweet Titty Fucker!!! I thought Via’s tea was shit, but this is even worse!)
He hoped Vassago didn’t tell Stolas he made it. He could just imagine the owl scolding him before giving a lecture on how to make tea. Although this was probably the worst thing he’s ever tasted, he had to admit he felt a lot better with that single sip of it. Guess whatever herbs Vassago prepared were working.
“Why are you here?” that caught the imp off guard.
“Um, I thought you guys were done? So, I came early.” He hoped that lie worked. He didn’t want to admit that the king of lust scared him, making him think Stolas died.
“I mean why are you here in general? Is it for Stolas or your arrangement?” Blitz’s eyes widened at the question.
“You know about that?” How much did Stolas tell? There were certain things that they did in the bedroom that he would like to keep private, thank you very much.
“I don’t know the specifics of whatever your deal entails, but I do know that it’s the basis of your relationship.”
“It… why does it matter? It has nothing to do with you” the imp argued.
“It matters to me because my friend has been suffering because of it. He really cares about you, you know. But he believes you only care about your arrangement. I know you care about him, to some extent at least. But I want to know which you care more about. Him or your deal?” the parrot reiterated with a serious look on his face.
(Stolas has been suffering because of me? Of course he has. I ruin everything I touch.)
“You know, for several months I’ve hated you.”
(We just met a few days ago. How the fuck can he hate me before he even met me?)
“It was when he was hospitalized. He was hurting and not from his wounds. It was because he believed you didn’t care for him. You should have told him that you visited him outside his window.” Vassago continued as if reading his mind.
“Wait… how’d you…”
“I heard you tell him while he was still asleep, a few nights back.” the parrot explained, interrupting the confused imp.
(Great, so now the red bastard’s spying on us?)
“I’m not just here because of our arrangement, believe me” Blitz defended himself, before looking toward the direction of the bedroom where a certain owl was residing. “But…maybe I shouldn’t even be here. You said I hurt him and… I believe it. Afterall, I always hurt everyone I’ve ever cared about... But I don’t want to be like this. Not forever. Not to him.” He didn’t notice the glow of Vassago’s eyes as he read the imps aura. The parrot was pleased with what he saw. Blitz was being genuine.
“…I’m beginning to understand. You’ve been pushing him away so you wouldn’t hurt him, but in doing so, it’s hurting you both.” The imp turned to the parrot. He never really thought about it like that. “Instead of trying to push him away, let him in.” Vassago suggested.
“Even if I did, I highly doubt it would work out well for either of us. I mean, come on. He’s a fucking prince and I’m just... I don’t even know why he’d want to be with an imp…with me” Blitz said looking down at his murky green tea.
“Stolas doesn’t care about rank or species. Did you know he has always been fighting in favor of more rights for lower born?” Blitz looked up at that. He didn’t know that. Then again, they never really talked about politics.
“To be honest, I don’t even know what he sees in you, but he sees something. You both have issues that you need to work on together. But I have a feeling that if you make an attempt, it will work out for the two of you” the parrot encouraged. The imp might not be his favorite person, but he could see it in his aura that he did love Stolas, and that was all that mattered.
“I’ll… try. Thanks Vas…” he said with a grateful smile
The parrot scowled at the nickname “Blitz, I respect you enough not to call you Blitzo, please show me the same courtesy and not call me Vas.”
“Fine… Vassago” he replied with sarcasm. (Maybe I should start calling him Viagra again)
“I should get back to Stolas, make sure he’s alright… if he’s well enough, you can see him later tonight, otherwise perhaps in the morning. Like I said, it’s not personal, but he really isn’t in the best headspace right now.” The parrot stood up, grabbing the tea on the counter for Stolas before heading back to the room, leaving the imp alone.
(Well, I guess that’s something.) Blitz was disappointed he couldn’t see the owl right now, but at least he could see him later… hopefully. He took a sip of his tea, forgetting that it had such an awful flavor, before spitting out the disgusting brew.
“Blech!!! ... How the fuck did he just down this without barfing?” he asked himself. Maybe the parrot doesn’t have any tastebuds? There can be no other reason.
There was no way in hell Blitz was gonna drink the rest of this crap. He decided to just dump it out, now that Vassago wasn’t in the kitchen to see it. But instead of dumping it in the sink, like any reasonable person would, he went to Eris and poured his tea in her pot. She gurgled at him as he came near her, only to let out a low, pained shriek as the tea touched her roots.
“I… probably shouldn’t have done that….” He decided to run out of there before she could try to eat him.
*****
< Blitzo to Fizz> 9/19 5:07 pm : Sry I lft lk tht. Bt gd nws. Stls don he b ok :) :
Blitz figured it would be a good idea to at least apologize to Fizz and Asmodeus about his rude departure and let them know that Stolas was alive. Since he couldn’t go see the owl, he figured he’d find something to do while he waited for the others to get back.
He was planning on watering Stolas’ plants, until he realized just how many there are, and not just in the greenhouse. Maybe he’ll do that tomorrow. Instead, maybe there was something else he could do. Something more productive. And by productive, he decided to go through the Kama Sutra.
So, here he was, in his guest room, looking through the erotic sex manual, dogearing several pages that he thought would be fun to try with Stolas (almost every page), trying not to get hard at some of the more risqué pictures. He was almost halfway through the book when he got a text from Millie.
<Millie to Blitzo> 9/19 6:09pm : can u help brng in bags?:
Blitz left the room, briefly pausing as he passed Stolas’ bedroom door. The door was not warded so that was something. He peeped through the keyhole, only to see Vassago. His back facing the door as he stood over the bed. He was blocking the view of the one he really wanted to see. Sighing, he continued his journey out of the palace and toward the van to help the other imps bring in the supplies.
He was shocked at their disheveled appearance. Their clothes were torn and covered with what he hoped was food. Millie had white powder in her hair, and Moxxie had a black eye that wasn’t there earlier.
“The fuck happened to you?’ the taller imp asked.
“Hellmart” was all the irritable white-haired imp said as he walked into the palace with a handful of bags. (Yea, sounds about right)
Grabbing some bags himself, he took them to the kitchen. They got quite a selection of food and supplies, seven packages of the requested bandages and a new toaster to replace the one Loona somehow blew up (I still don’t know how she did that. It wasn’t even plugged in). As Blitz and Millie unloaded the groceries, Moxxie started making dinner. He was making a chicken and vegetable casserole.
“Um, is it ok to cook chicken here?” Blitz asked suspiciously, considering that half the people in the house were avians.
“Yes sir. I asked Vassago and Via when we first arrived here for food allergies and dietary restrictions. They’re ok with most poultry, just not owl or parrot.” Moxxie reassured as he cut the chicken for the recipe. (So, the Goetia are essentially cannibals… good to know.)
Moxxie handed a few pieces of chicken to Millie who turned to feed Eris. “Hey, is it me, or is Eris a little purple?” Millie asked.
Blitz cautiously walked up to the plant. She did look a little purple. In fact, she was more of a lavender hue than her usual white. (Crap! Did I poison her? Stolas is gonna kill me) Millie tossed a piece of chicken to Eris, who caught it before slowly swallowing.
Gag...gag...bleeecchhh
She made a gagging motion before vomiting up a weird, sweet smelling, purple goo all over the taller imp. Whatever she threw up must have been making her feel sick, as she was now back to her healthy white self.
“Huh…maybe it was something she ate?” Millie asked, tossing her another piece of chicken, which the now healthy plant gulped down easily. Then she tossed another piece and another until all the chicken was gone. Eris no longer threw up her goo, instead gurgled happily now that she was feeling better.
Meanwhile Blitz was just standing there, shellshocked, as the goo he was covered in started to soak through his clothes, going into places where mystery goo should not go. (Eww… eww… eww…eww).
“Snort…um, sir…maybe you should… giggle… take a shower.” Moxxie suggested, trying not to laugh at his boss’s predicament. Millie, wrapping her hand in a cloth, took her still shellshocked boss’s hand in her cloth covered one as she guided him to the nearest bathroom with a shower.
*****
Blitz returned about an hour later, clean and dressed in his Spirit hoodie and shorts. He grabbed a plate of casserole before joining his employees at the table, shocking the couple.
“What?” he asked looking at the other imps confused look. Did whatever Eris vomit on him give him extra horns or something?
"Um, not to be rude sir, but why are you here? I thought they were done with their ritual.” Moxxie asked. He thought that his boss would rather want to spend time with the prince than them, especially since he’s been fretting about him all day.
“No, they’re done, but Vassago says that he’s not well for visitors yet, whatever that means. I’m gonna bring some food and the bandages up for them soon. Hopefully I can see him then” he explained.
The married imps gave each other a look before returning to their meal. “By the way, Loona somehow knew we were on a mission. Anyone care to explain?” he asked suspiciously. He still didn’t get a reply back from his daughter, so hopefully the girls were ok.
“Um…well sir, that would be me. During the mission, I sent Via some pictures of… things in the house. She does taxidermy so I thought she would like them.” Moxxie explained, pulling out his phone so he could show him the photos. They were…creepy to say the least, but the taller imp supposed the younger owl would like them.
“Alright, I guess I could let that pass… this time.” he said. “So…how was Hellmart?” he asked, before the couple went on a tangent about the supermarket.
Apparently, Moxxie got his black eye from a small imp with a loaf of stale bread when he went to grab some butter (apparently, there was a whole shelf of it, so they were not sure why he was attacked). Millie was covered in talcum powder after crashing into a shelf while fighting a succubus and hellhound for the bandages. The couple had killed or maimed at least six sinners for the toaster due to a flash sale. The tears and stains on their clothes were from the rest of the grocery shopping, but that was Hellmart for you.
After they finished eating, they made two plates of the casserole and some glasses of water for the Goetia before Blitz took the meal and bandages to Stolas’ bedroom. Instead of barging in like he would normally do, he knocked. Afterall, he didn’t want to disturb Stolas if he was sleeping or something. He waited for a minute before Vassago opened the door.
“Brought you guys some dinner and the bandages you requested.” He held up the tray. The parrot took the tray from the imp.
“Thanks…” Vassago thanked him as he gave a confused look to the imp “What are you wearing?” he asked.
It’s my favorite hoodie” he defended himself. “Eris kinda threw up on me so I had to change…by the way, should I be worried about that?” he asked.
“Was it yellow?” the parrot asked.
“No, purple.”
“Then you’ll be fine” the parrot reassured.
Blitz glanced past him, to the figure on the bed. Stolas was laying there, facing away from the door. He was curled up in a fetal position, a blanket wrapped tightly around his trembling body. From where he was standing, Blitz could hear a chitter coming from the owl. (What the fuck did he do to you, Stols?)
He wanted to demand that he be allowed in to comfort the owl when he remembered what Asmodeus and Vassago said earlier. Stolas probably didn’t want anyone, including the mottled imp, near him right now. The only reason Vassago was with him was because he’s his keeper, trying to take care of him. And even then, he doubted the owl wanted the parrot demon in there either.
“Um, so listen, I know you said he’s not well for visitors right now, but if you want to take a break, I can stay with him.” the imp offered.
“I appreciate the offer. I’ll consider it once he’s calmed down a bit more. Thank you” and with that, Vassago closed the door. Leaving the imp on the other side.
BUZZ…BUZZ…
He was about to head back to his room when he felt his phone vibrating. It was Loona.
“Blitz, I need you to get us… Via, no!” His daughter growled before he heard the owl give a distressed whine in the background.
“Uh, everything ok sweetie?” he asked, with a little concern. His daughter sounded a little stressed and worried.
“We need a portal to the palace… now.”
Chapter 32: The Party
Notes:
Warning: Drinking and drug use
Chapter Text
Earlier that day...
“Alright ladies, we’re here” Vortex announced as they pulled up to a mansion on the beach of Gluttony. Via liked the male hellhound. He was really nice and welcoming to the owl. She even thought it was cool that he worked for the Verosika Mayday, whom he offered to get her front row seats and backstage passes to her next concert.
Stepping out of the vehicle, she saw some hellhounds and succubi chatting with drinks in their hands near the building. A few demons were playing beach volleyball on the beach while others were swimming in the ocean. Too bad they didn’t bring swimsuits; it was such a beautiful day.
They made their way inside the house where loud music was blaring the ending to one of one of Verosika’s songs.
Pack your bags
Sun's out
Take a vacay, babe
Take it straight to Bonetown
Everyone seemed like they were genuinely having a good time. This was definitely different from the parties her mom made her go to.
“Hey ya’ll! Meet the new face” Tex shouts before howling in excitement. Several hellhounds, and some other demons, howled in welcome to the newest arrival. Octavia had been here less than two minutes, and it was already the best party she ever went to.
“I’m gonna go find Bee. Ya’ll have fun now.” Tex said as he left.
“So, what do you want to do first?” Loona asked.
“Oh, um… I’m not sure. I’ve never been to one of these before.” Via admitted.
“What? You’ve never been to a party? I thought royalty has them all the time.” Loona asked, shocked at the owl’s admission
“They do, but they’re stuffy, by the book meetings where you judge others and wear very uncomfortable outfits” Via explained. “They’re nothing like this” she said gesturing to her surroundings. Loona thought for a moment as to what they should do first. If this really is Via’s first party, then she wanted to make it memorable.
“Well, we could…”
“OMG! Lunatic Loona? You’re here?” a snooty voice came from behind the girls, causing the hellhound to scowl in annoyance. (Great).
“What do you want Vikki?” She growled out to a poodle hellhound wearing gaudy glasses and a ‘classy’ outfit. She was walking up to the pair with three female hellhounds tailing behind her.
“I thought this would be a nice party for once, but I guess they’ll just let any trash in here. Did you bring daddy here to crash the party again?” Vikki asked snootily, crossing her arms and looking down at the other hellhound.
“Fuck off,” Loona said as she flipped off the other hellhound. She didn’t want to cause a scene and get kicked out when they just got here. “Come on Via, let’s go” She grabbed Via’s hand, guiding her to somewhere else, hopefully near booze. Barely 10 am and she could use a drink.
“Hey! You’re new. And a Goetia?” Vikki said as she pulled Via’s arm to her and her posse, always ready to rub elbows with anyone with influence. And who would be more influential here, (other than the queen bee herself, that is) than royalty?
“You don’t want to hang around Lunatic Loona. Trust me. Her family is full of losers, see?” Vikki pulled the owl closer to her, wrapping an arm tightly around her, (Blech… she smells like sandalwood and queef pee) before pulling out her phone.
The poodle practically shoved the phone in the owl’s face as she showed a picture of Loona projectile vomiting before swiping to a picture of Blitz chugging a whole keg of Beezlejuice.
“Why the fuck do you still have those?” Loona growled threateningly as she saw the photos Vikki was showing to the owl.
“They bring me joy. You know, you should keep things that bring you joy, Lunatic Loona” Vikki answered, not bothering to look up to the other hellhound, as she swiped to a picture of Blitz somehow french kissing four demons at once. (Was this before or after he met dad?) Loona growled at the nickname before Vikki pulled the uncomfortable Goetia closer.
“You really shouldn’t hang out with such a loser. Stick with me, kid, you’ll see. Things are way better when you stay away from scum.” Via didn’t like this poodle. She reminded her of some certain nobles’ daughters her mom made her hang out with.
“You’re absolutely right. I shouldn’t hang out with scum.” Vikki smirked in victory before frowning in confusion as Via peeled herself away from the poodle demon.
“That’s why I won’t hang out with you. Come on, Loona,” Via said, shocking the poodle and her friends. They couldn’t believe that someone with rank said no to Vikki. They didn’t notice they were gaining an audience, some of the partygoers eating popcorn as they watched the drama unfold.
“Ugh, excuse me??? You’d rather hang out with trash than with class? You must be a loser. Afterall, what noble in the right mind would dress like that?” Vikki retorted, gesturing to the owl’s outfit. There were a few collective oooohhhh’s from the onlookers.
(Oh, she did not just insult my outfit) “You’re judging my looks? I’m not the one dressed like a middle age public school teacher from the 50’s” she retorted. Gaining an approving smirk from Loona and a louder collection of OOOOOHHH’s from the onlookers.
“Burn!” someone shouted from the background.
“It's retro, bitch!” Vikki retorted back, getting a bunch of disapproving howls from around her, before she could insult the owl further.
“You can’t say that here” someone shouted from the background. Vikki turned to glare at whoever said that before turning to the retreating owl, Loona walking by her side.
“Go ahead, run away with your feathers between your legs, you bitch!” Vikki shouted back, getting another wave of disapproving howls her way. Her posse decided now would be a good time to walk away from her as well. Afterall, they didn’t want people to think they were friends with someone who kept using the forbidden b- word.
So now Vikki was standing there, alone. At least she still had her phone. She would wait until the owl did something embarrassing and add it to her collection. Maybe she would put it up on Sinstagram to teach her a lesson. No one embarrasses Vikki and gets away with it. She tried turning on her phone, ready to pull out her camera, but it just wouldn’t start.
“What the fuck? What’d you do to my phone, you bitch?” She looked around, but there was no sign of the owl or Loona “Oh shut the fuck up!” Vikki yelled as she heard another wave of disapproving howls. (You don’t use the b-word at one of Beelzebub’s parties.)
Via and Loona just kept walking until they were in the kitchen. There were several fruit baskets, breakfast sandwiches and pastries on the counter along with several drinks, in nearby coolers, both alcoholic and nonalcoholic.
“So… friend of yours?” Via asked sarcastically as she grabbed a chocolate muffin. They didn’t eat breakfast before they came here, and she was a little peckish.
“That’s a bit of a stretch. Sorry you had to see those. Not our best moments” Loona said as she made herself a mimosa. She always needed a drink after dealing with the poodle.
“I do have to ask … that picture of Blitz with those other demons… was it before or after he met dad?” she asked. She didn’t want to think Blitz was cheating on her dad.
“Well, technically, they met when they were kids, so after…” she tried saying lightly, but seeing the look on the owl’s face, she knew she’d have to come clean. “Sigh… it happened about six months ago.” (So, he is cheating on dad. Do I tell him? I don’t think he could handle it.)
Loona saw the look she was making. “He came to pick me up from a party and got into a drinking contest with Bee. He actually beat her!... but he was so wasted afterwords. And when you’re that drunk, you do stupid things. Things you normally wouldn’t do. He didn’t fuck anyone, just made out with a lot of people… so I don’t think he cheated, or at least intended to” Loona explained, even though she knew that technically the prince and her dad weren’t really in a relationship to begin with.
“I guess that’s true… my mom once got so wasted from my uncles wine fountain that she started flirting with a statue before yelling at it.” Via explained as she took a bite from her muffin. She wasn’t at the party herself, as her uncle tended to host childfree parties, but she heard all about it and saw the video online. At least her family didn’t go to or host a party for a year after that.
Loona snorted in laughter at that, her mimosa nearly came out of her nose. They made their way outside, where some of the partygoers were drinking on the deck while others were playing a game of beach volleyball.
“Heads up!” someone shouted as a volleyball narrowly missed the owl’s head, Via ducking just in time. Loona picked up the ball and threw it over to the players who lost their ball.
“Wanna play a game?” Loona asked the owl, seeing an open court with a ball nearby. Via nodded, before Loona went looking for more players.
*****
The girls found some players for a two-on-two game: a tall imp named Dennis and a shark demon in a jester cap named Lydia. Dennis served, and Loona passed it to Via who spiked it. Lydia narrowly saved the ball from hitting their side of the court as Dennis hit the ball. Via wasn’t able to save it.
One point for team Denia. Via served, spiking the ball with such force, that it knocked Dennis out of the court a few feet away.
‘Sorry!” she called out, only for Dennis to shakily raise his arm from where he was laying, giving a thumbs up. She tried serving again after Dennis recollected himself, gentler this time. As it came to him, he jumped out of the way, letting the ball hit the ground. Point for team Loovi.
“Nice going Dennis” Lydia said sarcastically, causing the imp to look away in embarrassment. They group played for a while longer before calling it quits, with team Denia winning by one point.
“Good game” Via said, raising her hand in a high five to her opponents. “And sorry I hit you a couple of times” she apologized to Dennis, who was probably going to have a very bruised torso after getting plummeted by the ball.
“It’s ok, I’m used to it” he said. As both teams decided to head back near the mansion where someone was grilling hamburgers and hotdogs. There was a nearby table that had small bags of different favored chips, several types of salads, and other foods that would be great for a barbeque. At the end there were coolers of alcoholic and nonalcoholic drinks. Filling up their plates, they found a spot to eat on the beach, under a blue and white striped parasol.
“And then, Asmodeus said he loved him, right on stage!” Lydia said as she told the group about the last performance of her favorite performer, Fizzarolli. Dennis was looking at her with stars in his eyes.
“Awe! That’s so romantic!” Dennis gushed. He was a major shipper of the king of lust and the jester. Meanwhile, Loona and Via exchanged a look. Their dads were friends with the couple in question, they knew all about the romance.
‘Hey, there you are!” The group turned to the sound of Tex, waving to them before joining them with Beelzebub. Bee liked meeting her first time guests personally and the hellhound had a feeling his girlfriend would like the princess.
“It’s an honor to meet you, your sinfulness” Via stood up to do the courtesy bow and greeting that her mom taught her how to do in the face of sins.
“Well, aren’t you just the sweetest. but no need to be so formal. You can just call me Bee.” The sin of gluttony said bringing the girl in for a hug, before pinching at her cheeks. “Oh my gosh you are just so adorable. Loona, where have you been hiding her?” Bee asked the hellhound, as she let go of the owl, who went to rub her sore cheeks.
“Bee, this is Octavia Goetia” her boyfriend mentioned.
“Please. Just Via” the owl said.
"Alright ‘Just Via’." Bee joked. “How are you liking my party? You need anything? Drink, music, cotton candy?” the sin asked as she pulled cotton candy from nowhere before practically shoving it in the owls’ mouth. Via swallowed the sweet treat before answering.
“Oh, no I’m good, thank you. I’ve never been to something like this before. It’s amazing.” She admitted, causing the sin to smile.
“Oh, I like her” Bee said as she turned to Tex. He knew she would.
“Can I have some cotton candy?” Dennis asked from behind Via. Bee was only too happy to dump a large pile on top of him.
“Well, if you need anything, just let me know. We've got plenty of food, booze and I was able to snag some of the good stuff from Belphegor.”
‘Oh, she give it to you this time?” Loona asked, making a mental note to make sure Via didn’t take any drugs.
“Uh, hell no, I just ‘borrowed’ some from her. Don’t worry, I repaid her in Beezlejuice.” She replied casually as she studied her nails. “Speaking of which, who wants some?” She asked as she pulled out a keg of her famous brew. Almost everyone raised their hand except Via.
“You don’t want any?” Dennis asked, surprised someone would say no to Beezlejuice, especially in front of Beelzebub.
“I would, if I could, but…I’m not old enough to drink” She replied ruefully.
“How old are you?” Bee asked.
“Seventeen”
“Meh. Close enough.” she said as she handed the owl a drink. Via looked around; everyone was staring at her eagerly as she took her first sip of alcohol. She liked it. She chugged the whole thing down, giving her a slightly warm and fuzzy feeling. She really liked it. She got a small round of cheers from the group. “There we go, knew you could handle it” the sin said proudly.
“This calls for a celebratory pic” Lydia exclaimed. The group got close together as Bee grabbed four of their phones while the people on the outside of the huddle took out theirs. They posed with the mansion in the background. Bee looked at the pics, before handing them back to their owners once she deemed that they were good.
“I gotta go check my other guests. Enjoy yourselves”. Bee said before she flew back into the mansion. Via looked at her photo. It really was a good one of her and her new friends. She was about to post it on Sinstagram, when she noticed she got several texts from Moxxie. (Is dad ok?) She opened them, not expecting really cool photos of taxidermy creations.
<Moxxie to Via> 9/19 10:47 am: (image of a beaver body with three duck heads attached to its neck)
<Moxxie to Via> 9/19 10:47 am: (an image of a deer body with a human torso and a cow head looking like a demented centaur)
<Moxxie to Via> 9/19 10:47 am: (an image of a human head with snakes going through their eye sockets and mouth)
<Moxxie to Via> 9/19 10:48 am: On job. Target has these. Thot u might like them.
“You ok Via?” Loona asked, seeing the confused owl’s face.
“Moxxie sent me these earlier. Aren’t they supposed to be at the palace with dad?”
Loona looked at the photos and the timestamp of the messages. Blitz has some explaining to do. “Oh, I’m sure that he and Millie just went to the office to get some work done. There’s no way Blitz would leave Stolas” she reassured her.
As Via turned to the ocean, lost in thought thinking about her dad, Loona gave Tex a look, as if asking for help. She told him earlier that Via’s dad was really sick (without going into details as to what’s wrong with him) and that she invited her to Bee’s party to get her mind off that.
“Hey ya’ll, why don’t we head back inside and do some dancing?” Tex asked, getting a murmur of agreements from the group.
While making their way in, Loona pulled up her phone. She needed to know why the rest of I.M.P weren’t at the palace.
<Loona to Blitz> 9/19 3:02pm: Wtf. y r u in human wrld?:
He didn’t answer her right away. Maybe he is still on an assassination? He better have a damn good reason to leave Stolas alone, especially since they were hired to protect him.
As the group went inside, they made their way to the main room. The lights were dim, the disco ball reflecting all around them as upbeat music was playing. Everyone was dancing in a way Via had only seen in movies, way different from those stupid balls. She danced with her friends, with Dennis dipping her once. Tex and Bee danced with them for a bit, before leaving for some private fun in one of the upstairs bedrooms. Everyone was having such a good time.
“There you are, trash owl.” the sound of snooty voice came from behind them as the music died down. A drugged-up Vikki stood there, a red glint in her eyes that was not caused by anything she consumed. She zoomed in on the owl. Dennis and Lydia stood in front of their friend, trying to protect her from the poodle, before the hellhound practically threw them out of the way, knocking Dennis into a rather handsome, white-haired succubus and Lydia into a bar, to get to her target.
The music stopped playing, but neither the owl nor the poodle seemed to notice as the partygoers were now watching the beginnings of a fight.
“You owe me a new phone!” she demanded, shoving her phone into the owl’s face, hitting her beak.
“I don’t owe you jack squat” she said as she turned away from the annoying poodle, trying to see if her friends were ok, especially Lydia, who was clutching her side in pain as a small imp, who looked just like her family’s butler, helped her sit up. Vikki pulled her back by her head feathers, causing Via to yelp in pain.
“Oh yes you do. It was working fine before you showed up. I know you did something to it, and you better make it up to me or else” the poodle growled, pulling the owl’s head backwards further, getting in her face. Via could smell her awful perfume, wanting to gag at the awful stench.
“Let go!” Via demanded as Vikki gave her head another yank, feeling some of her feathers coming loose. She could turn her head backwards, but not that way.
“Let her go Vikki! She didn’t touch your Satan damned phone!” Loona growled at Vikki, ready to attack the poodle.
“Yea, it looks fine. You probably just forgot to charge it.” Dennis said from his position sprawled on top of the succubus he crashed into. He couldn’t see any cracks or anything from where he was. Vikki loosened her grip on the owl, allowing her to escape with a few feathers still in the poodle’s hand, before turning to the imp.
“Shut up Dennis. This is between me and trash bird here. Satan, you’re such a loser.” Vikki growled at him, causing him to look hurt as he tried helping the guy he crashed into up.
“Don’t talk to him like...” Via was interrupted as Vikki punched her, scratching the owl’s right cheek with her claws hard enough to draw blood, causing Via to stumble back. There was a collection of gasps and a few low growls from the crowd at the sudden attack.
Vikki spotted the owl’s locket, making a grab for it. “Mine” she growled as she ripped it from her neck. It looked expensive. She could easily sell it and buy at least twenty phones.
“Give that back, you cunt!” Via shouted. Her eyes and hands were starting to glow pink as she concentrated on her magic. She was ready to petrify this bitch and smash her to pieces. She didn’t care about the consequences. That locket’s her most prized possession and no way in hell is this bitch taking it away from her.
“What’s going on here?” An authoritative voice came from above. Looking up, everyone saw Bee floating down, her arms crossed, and a stern expression etched on her face. Everyone knew when Bee used this voice, someone was in big trouble. Tex went over to Loona, putting a hand on her shoulder as a silent command to not get involved.
“This bird bitch broke my phone and stole my necklace, see?” Vikki lied, ignoring the howls of disgust as she, once again, used the forbidden b-word. Even in her drugged state, she knew she had to play the victim, or she would be in deep shit.
The hellhound handed her phone over to the sin, who gave it a look over. It wouldn’t turn on, but she didn’t see any cracks or anything out of the ordinary. She handed the dead phone back to its owner before raising an eyebrow at the owl in question.
“She’s lying. I never touched her phone, and that locket is mine. My dad gave it to me.” Via defended herself.
“Who are you going to believe your highness? Me, someone whose loyally been to your parties for years, or the royal trash who’s never been to a single one?” Vikki tried to defend herself.
The sin was confused, she could sense that both were lying about something. Ignoring the phone issue, she decided to focus on the necklace. Bee had seen Octavia wear that necklace when they met, but that didn’t mean she took it from Vikki earlier.
“… let me see the necklace.” She held her hand out to the poodle, who reluctantly handed the locket over.
Bee looked at the purple and silver locket. She didn’t see anything on the outside that would say who the owner was. She opened it, seeing the magic hologram of two Goetia owls.
It always seems more quiet in the da…
She closed it as the lullaby started playing. She recognized the figures in the hologram and the melodic voice singing the lullaby. She had all the answers she needed.
“This belongs to Octavia”. She said, handing the locket back to the owl, who took it back gratefully, holding it close to her, before turning her attention to the hellhound. “I’m gonna have to ask you to leave, Vikki.” the queen bee told the poodle in a serious voice, pointing to the door.
“What??? You’re joking.” Vikki growled, forgetting who she was talking to. “You’re seriously kicking me out? This is the thanks I get for all my years wasted at your trash parties?” She ignored the way Bee scowled at her for the insult.
“She’s a fucking Goetia. Her stupid, ugly daddy can just buy her another tacky necklace.” She saw the image and heard the lullaby, and judging by the look the owl was giving her, she could tell she struck a nerve on the owl when her father was mentioned.
“Shut up…” Via growled, clutching her locket. Tears were forming in her eyes as her anger rose (How dare she).
“Awe, is baby gonna cry to her pathetic daddy?” Vikki mocked, laughing at her own joke. If she was going down, then she was gonna make the owl hurt as much as possible.
“I said shut up.” Via said more forcefully, her hands were glowing pink again.
“I bet he’s a fucking loser too, just like…”
“Shut the FUCK UP!!!” Via shouted, interrupting the poodle.
FWOOSH… CRASH
She blasted her pink magic at Vikki, causing the hellhound to fly into a dessert table.
“Don’t you dare bring my dad into this, bitch!” Octavia growled out, having to be restrained by Loona and Tex, both glaring daggers at the poodle. Vikki sat up, her hair and outfit were ruined by the desserts, her glasses strewn and cracked. She noticed how quiet it was.
“Are you serious? I can’t say that, but she can?” Vikki growled around her as the owl didn’t get any disapproving howls.
“That’s cuz you are a bitch” Dennis said, glaring at the cake covered hellhound. He did get howls, but unlike Vikki, they were in agreement. She was declared a bitch by the whole party.
“Shut the fuck up Dennis!” she growled, throwing a cake knife at the imp. Just before it hit him in the face, the knife was caught by the sin of gluttony.
“That’s enough!” Bee dropped the knife to the floor before she started transforming into her eldritch form. “You’ve continuously harassed and assaulted my guests, stole from one, and lied to my face… I will not tolerate this deplorable behavior any longer!” Beelzebub was now in her full eldritch form, growling down at the party crasher. “Get. Out. Now!” She growled.
“Fine. Verosika’s parties are way better anyway. At least she doesn’t let trash in.” The disheveled poodle said snootily as she stood up from the cart, trying to dust off some frosting on her outfit, but just smearing it instead. The poodle was too out of it to realize who she was insulting.
“See you at Verosika’s Anti Blitzo party. Oh, that’s right, trash isn’t invited… too bad, huh, Lunatic Loona?” she said, smirking as the hellhound in question growled at her, her eyes glowing red with fury.
Vikki turned, starting to walk out with what little dignity she had left, before a table lamp crashed into the back of her head. She turned to a furious Loona, who was baring her fangs, trying to lunge at the poodle, only to be held back by Tex and Via, who were both glaring at the poodle.
Vikki grabbed the nearest thing to her, Dennis. He covered his face with his arms, bracing himself for impact as Vikki held him above her head, ready to throw the imp at the hellhound. Bee had enough. Still in her eldritch form, she picked the poodle up, causing her to drop Dennis, as she was carried to the door by her scruff.
Bee stepped outside, dangling the now scared, and quickly sobering up, hellhound several feet in the air. Beelzebub brought the scared poodle to her face.
“You. Are. Banned.” Bee growled before she tossed Vikki miles away into Gluttony’s ocean, receiving cheers from the partygoers as the crasher was literally thrown out.
Bee turned back into her normal form “Ugh I hate doing that. Really puts a sour taste in the vibe. Alright people, nothing to see here, enjoy yourselves.” she said, as she made her way to the owl.
“I’d like to have a word with you. Alone.” She said seriously, guiding the owl to one of the private rooms. Loona was about to protest, when Tex put a hand on her shoulder, shaking his head.
“Don’t worry, I know Bee. She won’t be too harsh on Via, especially since this is her first time.” Tex reassured her. She trusted Tex, so hopefully he was right.
“What did Vikki mean? Verosika’s Anti-Blitzo party? She’s just spewing shit, right?” she asked her friend, who looked away. “Right?” she asked again.
“Sigh… every Halloween, Verosika has a party dedicated to hating Blitz” the hellhound explained “If it makes you feel better, I can get Verosika to ban Vikki from it.”
“Seriously? You’re not going to it, right?” Loona asked suspiciously. “I… kinda have to. It’s nothing personal, it’s my job. Plus, she’s paying me triple for this party” he tried to defend himself.
“Are you going to this Anti- Blitzo party too?” She walked up to Dennis from his spot on the floor. She knew Blitz had hurt him in the past, but she thought he would have been over it by now.
“Um… maybe?” he said confusedly, not sure why he was being questioned about a party by an angry hellhound.
“Oh, fuck you Dennis”. She growled at the imp, causing him to look like he was about to cry.
“You ok?” Tex asked, seeing Loona getting upset.
“Finding out there’s a party dedicated to hating my dad? Just peachy… sigh…I need a smoke” she said turning to leave. She was so upset, she didn't notice she walked past the bar where Lydia was surrounded by a group of demons, being picked up by a large, male baphomet.
*****
Bee took Via into an empty bedroom, locking the door. There was a king-sized bed, a lamp that gave the room a dim red hue, an end table with a slightly opened drawer with lube and condoms, and a box with sex toys with a note that says, ‘please clean after use’. There was also an unoccupied bathroom attached to the room, with a large shower in it.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blasted her, but I…” The owl tried to defend herself before Bee held up her hand to silence her.
“You’re not in trouble for that. She deserved it. But I want to know why you lied to me.” the sin demanded.
“I didn’t.”
“You did.” she said seriously. Via knew she should be honest now.
“Sigh… ok, ok…. I technically wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t touch her phone, but… I may have used a little magic to destroy the SD card and battery.” she admitted. Bee raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, unimpressed.
“Why?” she asked.
“She was showing me these horrible pictures of Loona and Blitz, and she was proud of it. So, when she wasn’t looking, I made it so she wouldn’t show them to anyone else. Loona’s like a sister to me and Blitz he’s, well…my dad loves him” she admitted looking away. Bee could sense there was more, she could taste the vibe the owl was giving, especially when the girls dad was mentioned. It was bitter.
Bee gestured to the bed, causing the owl to blush. “Oh… I’m flattered, really, I am… but I’m ace.”
“Oh! … Hahahaha!” Bee laughed as she understood what the owl thought she was implying. “No sweetheart, I was offering you a seat. I really should put some chairs in here. May spice things up a bit.” She said, looking around the room. Via took a seat on the large bed before Bee sat next to her.
“So, I’m guessing there’s some sort of daddy issue? I can taste your vibe. You are worried about something and I’m guessing it’s something the bitch said. Speaking of which…” She pulled out a golden scroll from seemingly nowhere. The top of the scroll said Banned. There were several names listed on the scroll. (Trevor, Sailor, Glam, Muffy, and Chazwick, to name a few) she added Vikki to the list.
“Ok, now that that’s out of the way, what’s up?” she said as she conjured the scroll away. Via looked away, not sure if she could tell the sin of gluttony what’s worrying her, especially since they just met.
“Hey, if you don’t want to talk about it, that's fine, but nothing will leave this room if you do” Bee said gently.
“Sigh… my dad…he’s really, really sick. When I left this morning…he barely looked alive.” She said, remembering his ragged breathing, his dull feathers, the way he barely opened his top eyes before giving her a weak smile when she hugged him before leaving.
“The only reason I’m here and not with him is because he thought it would be a great idea if I came here with Loona.” she explained. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m having fun, but… I’m really worried about him.” she admitted, not wanting to offend the sin, trying not to tear up thinking of how she was having the time of her life while he was suffering right now.
“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry … I may be able to snag some meds from Belphegor for him. What’s he got? Bird flu, chickenpox, aids, cancer?” Bee offered sympathetically.
“Mana poisoning” Via admitted.
Bee’s eyes widened. She knew what that entailed. All the sins had it at one point that she knew about. And unfortunately, there was no medicine she could steal to help the poor bird.
“Oh, hun… I’m guessing he’s doing a purification today?” she asked sympathetically. It was the only cure, and she wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
“Yea…he didn’t want me around for it”, she said. Bee could see why. If she had kids, she wouldn’t want them anywhere near the ritual either.
“You’re Stolas’ kid, right?” she asked, recognizing the image and the voice from the locket. Via looked up at her before nodding.
“I’ve met him a few times at some of those boring as fuck council meetings. Such a nice guy. Got one hell of a liver as well. I haven’t met many who can handle as much absinthe like he can.” Via wasn’t sure how to respond to the sin’s admiration for her dad’s drinking.
“I’ve heard that he’s the best prophet in millennia, so that means he’s strong. He’ll bounce back before you know it. I can almost guarantee it. And once he’s all better, you bring him to one of my parties and I’ll make sure you both have the time of your lives.” Bee said reassuringly.
“Thanks” she said with a grateful smile, happy for the support as Bee pulled her into a hug.
“And don’t worry. Like I said, what was said in this room stays in this room. Ready to go back out?” she asked. The owl nodded as they headed out of the dim room. The music was blaring as the partiers continued their dancing. Looking down from her spot at the stairs, she couldn’t see her friends, but she did see a familiar imp holding a green jester’s hat. She made her way to the bar, toward the imp.
“Impington?” she asked, shocking the imp.
“Ah… your highness… I was just… it’s my day off and I … well…” he trailed off in a nervous sweat. She is his boss’ kid after all.
“Hey, I don’t care what you do in your free time. But…. Have you seen my friend, Lydia? That’s her hat.” she said pointing her to the jester cap.
“Yes… my friends Tim and Kiki portaled her to a hospital. She may have broken some ribs when she crashed” Via’s eyes widened. If she saw Vikki again, she would petrify her before smashing her statue for hurting her friend. “I can let you know what they find out if you would like.” the imp offered.
“Thank you” she smiled at him.
“By the way, your highness, if I may ask, is prince Stolas almost finished with his ritual? No offense to your mother, but many of us prefer working under him than her” the butler inquired. Via understood. Her father was always kinder to the staff than her mother was.
“He should be done soon.” She said, not wanting to tell him that her dad’s been finished or about his condition.
“Sigh… that’s good.” The imp sighed in relief at her answer. The others will be thrilled to know they will be coming back to work for the prince soon. They were not happy they were sent away to work for Stella for this long. Some believed it was due to the divorce settlement while others believed it was a safety precaution with how dangerous the ritual was, but no one could figure out why the young princess stayed with her dad, instead of coming with them to her mom’s.
“There you are!” The owl turned her head 180 degrees to see Loona coming up to her. “Who’s this?” she asked, looking at the small imp.
“This is our family’s butler, Impington” Via introduced as the imp gave a slight bow. Loona raised a questioning eyebrow (I thought Blitz said his name’s Pringles). “Impington, this is Loona, Blitz’s daughter” she introduced.
“Pleasure to meet you” the imp greeted. He met the prince’s paramour a few times. He’s an … interesting fellow.
“Likewise,” she said politely enough. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a drink,” she said as she turned to the bar.
“Did something happen?” Via asked.
“Don’t worry about it. Just stupid shit is all” she said eyeing the alcohol along the wall, trying to find something she wanted. “What do you want?” she asked Via.
“Um… I think I’d like to try absinthe.” If Bee said her dad liked it, then maybe she would as well. The imp and the hellhound gave her a shocked look. “What?”
“Via, that stuff is strong… like really strong” Loona said.
“It’s alright, I think I could handle it” she said before turning to the imp. “I won’t tell if you don’t” the imp could only nod. He couldn’t dissuade the owl from drinking his boss’s favorite drink, but if prince didn’t know his butler saw her drinking, then he wouldn’t feel his wrath.
“… alright then” Loona hopped over the bar to grab some shot glasses and a bottle of the green alcohol. She poured three shot glasses before handing one to the owl and the imp, before downing hers.
The owl downed her shot, forcing herself to swallow the strong alcohol. “ich” she said, before she filled up another shot, giving the same result. “ick” she said again as she poured herself another shot. She wasn’t sure she liked the taste, but she liked how the strong booze made her feel.
“If you don’t like it, then don’t drink it.” Loona said with a smirk.
“It’s weird, I don’t like it, but I do. Does that make sense?” she asked.
“Yeah, I guess it does” she laughed.
‘Hey Loona, Via. Sup Impington?” They turned to Dennis walking to the group. Via saw the hellhound scowl at him.
“What do you want Dennis?” she growled. (What’d he do to make her angry?)
“Look… I’m sorry I upset you. It’s nothing personal, believe me. I’m over what Blitz did to me” Dennis apologized. “There are only two reasons I might go to the party. One: I’m a big fan of Verosika’s and two: well…. I hope I can meet Mr. right.” he said, looking away, blushing as he spotted the succubus he crashed into, who winked at him as their eyes met.
Loona looked at the tall imp. She could tell he was being genuine. “Alright…I guess I can forgive you this time. But you better not be shitting on Blitz. Got it” she growled, pointing a clawed finger at the imp, who only nodded.
Ping
Impington took out his phone. “That’s Tim. Looks like your friend just has some bruising, but nothing broken.” The smaller imp said, causing Via to sigh in relief just as a portal opened to reveal the baphomet, a succubus and Lydia.
“Lydia you’re ok!” Via hugged her only for the shark to hiss in pain. “Sorry” she apologized.
“It’s ok. I’m just sore, is all. I wanted to make sure you guys were ok before they take me home” the shark said as she took her hat back from the imp butler with a thankful smile.
“You really have to go?” Via asked sadly.
“Afraid so, the doctor said I need rest, and to be honest I’m really sore right now.’ she explained.
“Well, before you go, how about a drink” Loona said, pulling up a few more shot glasses for the rest of the demons.
“A toast to Vikki! May none of that bitch’s phones ever work.” Dennis announced as they all toasted to the poodle’s misery.
*****
Four hours later…
“Via? Via?” Loona called around, frantically, on the dance floor, looking for the owl. She stepped away for a few minutes to use the bathroom, telling the slightly intoxicated owl to sit on a couch, eat a taco and drink some water while she waited for the hellhound before leaving.
That was almost an hour ago. When she got back, the half-eaten taco and the barely drunk water bottle were on the couch, but the owl was not.
Vortex and Bee (who are now helping look for the missing teen) hadn’t seen her in a while. Tex went outside to see if he could find the owl out there, while Bee checked upstairs, hoping no one took the intoxicated teen into one of the bedrooms for some ‘fun’. Impington left with his friends when they took Lydia home hours ago, so they probably haven’t seen her. She couldn’t find Dennis, so hopefully the owl was with him.
She was getting worried. If something horrible happened to the owl, she’d never forgive herself (if Stolas didn’t kill her first, that is). She spotted Dennis, leaning against a pillar off the side of the dancefloor, making out with the handsome succubus Vikki threw him at earlier. The guy had a tattoo that reminded her of a Goetia symbol, on his left arm.
“Dennis, you seen Via?” she asked urgently.
He didn’t bother looking up from his make out session as he pointed to the Goetia in question.
The owl was sitting at a table, a half empty bottle of rum in hand, laughing at a succubus, a fish demon and two hellhounds. Loona hurried over to the owl. She knew this group’s reputation and hoped Via didn’t do what she thought she did. “Via” she called, making the owl turn her head to the hellhound.
“Heeyyy! Loooooona!” the owl slurred with a dopey smile on her face. “Guess what? They gave me brownies! They taste funny, but they’re awesome!” she explained excitedly. Loona looked at the ‘brownies’ in her hand, sniffing them. Yep…those are definitely not brownies. She glared at the group who were all too out of it to notice.
“How many did you eat?” she asked warily, only for Via to giggle.
“I can taste colors! Yellow tastes like Beezlejuice!” she giggled. Sighing, the hellhound took the ‘brownies’ out of the owl’s hand, throwing them at the fish demon with enough force to knock him backwards, before guiding her away.
As she maneuvered around some partygoers, hoping to take the owl to somewhere less crowded, she spotted Via chugging her drink like water. (Ok, time to adult).
“I think you’ve had enough for one night.” Loona said, trying to pry the nearly empty bottle from the owl, who hissed at her, trying to protect it with her life.
“You ok Via?” a concerned voice came from behind her. It was Dennis, his make out buddy close by.
“Heeeeyyyy! My good friend…um… it’s, um….” Via put one hand over her forehead, trying to think of her friend’s name.
“Dennis” he responded helpfully.
“No… no. That’s not it,” she said while trying to think of his name, leaving the imp confused. He couldn’t tell if she was drunk or high, or both. The imp turned to Loona, only to see her glaring at his paramour’s shirt. It read ‘Better than Blitzo’.
“Really?” She glared at Dennis.
“…What? He’s hot!” He defended himself sheepishly. The Better than Blitzo guy smiled at him.
“The fuck did Blitz do to you?” she asked the succubus. Her adoptive father must have done something bad enough for the guy to wear that shirt.
“Nothing. Don’t even know who that is.” He admitted, watching in amusement as Via dropped her bottle before snatching another demon’s cup of alcohol from their hand as they walked past, before drinking it.
“Then why the fuck are you wearing that?” she growled.
“I got it from a shirt cannon at Verosika’s last concert. It’s the name of her newest album.” he defended, not sure why this hellhound was getting mad at his shirt. She huffed, hoping he wasn’t lying to her.
“Whatever. You guys seen Tex? I think it’s time for Via to go home.” she said, glancing briefly at the owl who was staring up at the giant disco ball with wonder. It was so shiny.
“Really? Why? The nights still young and she’s having fun.” Dennis said.
“She’s doped up, drunk and… crap! Where’d she go?” The group looked around for the, once again, missing owl. She was just standing there, she couldn’t have gotten far, right?
“Um…found her.” The succubus pointed. Loona’s eyes widened as she saw where he was pointing. (How the fuck did she get up there???)
Octavia was sitting on top of the disco ball, a bottle of whiskey in her hand. She was laughing, enjoying being on the giant, shiny ball. “Via get down from there!” Loona shouted.
She watched in horror as Via chugged the bottle before tossing it over her shoulder, luckily not hitting anyone. Then, she wobbly stood up and, with a backflip that would put an Olympic diver to shame, dove right into a vat of Beezlejuice. Loona heard cheering all around her at the perfect dive.
“Wow… for someone who’s doped up and drunk, she’s a pretty good diver.” 'Better than Blitzo' said, getting a glare from the hellhound. Loona watched as Bee dove in to collect the owl still submerged in her booze.
She emerged with the owl in her arms, sticky and wet, but otherwise unharmed. Spotting Loona, she gestured to the kitchen. The hellhound, tall imp and the sexy succubus followed in pursuit. Luckily there was no one in the kitchen, everyone either in the main area, outside or upstairs in the bedrooms.
“Giggle… Beeeeee! There’s B’s in Beezlejuice! ...Giggle!” Via slurred. Bee looked at the owl with a questioning look.
“She ate some drugs thinking they were brownies. Plus, I think she had a little too much to drink. But don’t worry, I’m taking her home.” the hellhound explained as the sin set the owl down. She was hoping for a ride, but it seemed like a portal would be a better option.
“Here,” Bee tossed Loona Via’s locket. “It fell off when she went swimming. Maybe you should hold onto it, so she doesn’t lose it.”
“Thanks… no you stay put. We’re going home” the hellhound scolded as the owl tried to walk toward the DJ playing nearby. She wanted to spin on the record player and press all the buttons on the music system. “Guys, watch her while I call Blitz” Loona ordered, pocketing the owl’s locket as she tried to find her phone.
“Nnoooooo ... I don’t wanna.” Via whined, trying to get to her target, only to be stopped as Dennis’ paramour grabbed the back of her cardigan. The owl didn’t notice she wasn’t moving as she continued to walk in place toward her destination.
“Hey! Ya found her!” Tex entered the kitchen from the door leading to the deck, glad that they finally found the owl. Via turned her head 180 degrees, startling the succubus into letting her go. She forgot the DJ system and focused on the newest arrival.
“Vvvooooorrrrtteexxxx!” Via shouted as she flung herself at him, happy to see her second favorite hellhound, before giving him a big hug. He was so tough and scary looking but was as sweet as cotton candy. He deserves all the hugs!
“Umm… good to see you too... why is she wet and sticky?” He asked, concerned as he felt whatever she was covered in start to stick on his fur.
“She dove into the Beezlejuice” Loona explained as she finally pulled up her phone. Seeing she got a message from her adoptive father, she opened it.
<Blitz to Loona> 9/19 4:38pm: He dnt wnt us hre 4 ths. Did wrk til don. Jst got bk. Hws prty? Do u nd me 2 pck u up?:
Guess that explains why they weren’t there. She dialed his number. Better he gets here now before Via does something else.
Burrr…Burrr…
Blitz picked up, but Loona answered before he could speak.
“Blitz, I need you to get us… Via, no!” Loona growled, scolding the owl, who somehow came into possession of a bottle of vodka. She grabbed the bottle, causing the owl to give a distressed whine, before handing it to Dennis, who hid it behind him, out of sight of the owl. (Seriously, where is she getting all these bottles? Is she stealing them from other partygoers or is Bee giving them to her when we’re not looking?)
The imp's lover gave the owl a water bottle from a nearby cooler, hoping it would be enough to trick her into drinking it. She took a few gulps from her bottle before she saw something outside that caught her eye.
“Uh, everything ok sweetie?” he asked, with concern.
“We need a portal to the palace…now.” she said urgently as she watched as Via feather travel to the deck outside, before stumble running to a bonfire on the beach (she wanted to magic it into pretty colors).
Luckily, Tex, who was closest to the door, caught up to her before she got too close to the fire, picked her up and carried her back in one arm. He didn't notice the owl grab a flask and an unopened beer bottle from the deck, hiding them in her cardigan. Once inside, the male hellhound placed her on a chair before blocking the door. If she got out again, then who knows what she would do.
“Ok, ok… I’ll be right there.”
“Loona!!!” She heard her adoptive father yell, almost immediately after she hung up. She stepped out of the kitchen, spotting him. He was dressed in his favorite Spirit hoodie, gun whipped out in case of danger, an ‘I’m gonna go psycho if you hurt my girls’ look on his face. Loona never thought she'd be happy to see the mottled imp like this.
“Blitz!!!” she shouted as she spotted him. Getting his attention, she gestured to the kitchen. He ran to his destination.
“What happened” You girls, ok?” he asked, taking in his surroundings, not seeing any danger. He put his gun away cautiously, ready to whip it out if he needed to.
“Heeeyyyyy… Blllliiitttzzzyyyy with a silent Ooooo…ssshhhhh” Octavia slurred with a smile as she stumbled to the imp, only to frown down at him a moment later.
“You don’t kiss dad at parties” she whined mournfully, laying her cheek on his horn with a pout. “… you smell pretty.” she said, a pout still on her face, smelling the remains of Eris’ mishap earlier. He washed it off as best as he could, but he still smelled sweet.
“Uh… what?” he asked confused.
“She’s wasted.” Was all his daughter said as he gently removed her from his horn.
“How much did she drink?” he asked, as she pulled out her stolen flask, whining as Dennis plucked it out of her hands, before handing it to Tex.
“Way too much” Tex said, putting the flask on a shelf, way above the intoxicated owl’s reach.
“Good thing she has her dad’s liver” Bee said watching with amusement as the female hellhound tried to entice her to drink from her forgotten water bottle.
Blitz wondered if he should be worried about that statement.
“Gasp… Blitz! Guess what?” Via faced Blitz with wide eyes, getting his attention. She remembered something important. Something he really needed to know. “Absinthe tastes like green.” she said seriously, confusing the imp even further.
“She’s also high” Dennis said. Blitz was starting to understand the problem now. There was one last question he had.
“What happened to her face?” he asked, noticing the scratches and bruise on her cheek. (Did one of these motherfuckers attack her?)
“Vikki” the group said in unison. He didn’t know what that meant but he could ask Loona later. Right now, he needed to get Via home.
“OK birdy, let’s go. It’s bedtime” he told her gently.
“Giggle…. You say that to dad” she slurred. Blitz blushed.
“No… not… like that” he tried to explain, looking away for a brief moment, (He really has said the exact same thing to Stolas before, just with different context) before looking back up to the owl, watching as she opened her stolen beer bottle.
“Stop giving her booze, moron!” He glared accusingly at Dennis.
“I-I didn’t …I don’t know where she’s getting them from.” He defended himself. No one seemed to notice the owl was hiding booze in her cardigan.
Sighing in exasperation, the mottled imp turned to the owl. Looks like he has to be the responsible one here.
“… ok, honey, here’s what’s happening.” he said, snatching the beer away from the owl, spilling some on her outfit. “We’re going home. You’ll drink some water, then go to bed.” he said a little more sternly.
“Mmmiiiinnnneee” she whined flinging herself at the imp, trying to reach for the bottle. Blitz had placed one foot and arm on the owl while trying to keep the bottle out of her reach with his other arm. She was going to make them both fall over to get her beer at this rate.
“Octavia, enough! We’re going home right now!” He said in his best ‘I’m your parent’ voice.
“Nnnoooo…. don’t wanna!” she whined, as she continued to reach for her booze.
“I’m gonna count to three!” Blitz threatened, not knowing what else to do. She stopped, looking at him with wide eyes at his threat, neither one knowing what’ll happen when he gets to three. “One…”
“Groan… you’re mean” she said sadly, getting off of the imp, before he opened a portal.
“Let’s go. Bedtime. Now.” he said sternly, pointing to the portal, before watching in confusion as she pouted, turning to the stairs to the bedrooms on the next floor.
“Not those beds, sweetheart.” Bee said as she turned the owl around to Loona’s waiting arms, before the hellhound flung the owl over her shoulder.
“Gasp… I made everything upside down!” the owl exclaimed, forgetting her upset.
“Ok, kid, say bye to your friends” Blitz said, somewhat amused (and very proud of himself) now that he got the situation under control.
The sound of his voice caused the owl to turn her head 180 degrees to look up at him. She looked at his face for a moment before grinning, pointing to his head brand. “You have a dick on your head” she said, causing Loona to snort in amusement. Now that she thought about it, his brand did look somewhat phallic.
Blitz facepalmed. “Just get her outta here” he told his daughter, before she crossed the magic threshold. Once she was gone, he downed the last of Via’s beer. (Ahhh… I really needed that)
“Sorry about that, guys, she’s never done this before… thanks for watching out for her” Blitz thanked the group, before he turned to the taller imp. Dennis was standing in front of his paramour so the mottled imp wouldn’t see his shirt. Didn’t want the imp to start killing the guy he was interested in.
“It’s Dennis, right?” the taller imp nodded. “Look… sorry for what I did at the last party.” Truth be told, he didn’t remember what he did, just that he did something to him and that the poor guy was unfortunately named Dennis. And after he watched out for Via, the least he could do was apologize.
“Uh, thanks no worries” the taller imp blushed, happy the mottled imp was being nice to him. Maybe he won’t go to the Anti-Blitzo party afterall.
“But just for the record, you really should change your name to something else… like Edward, or Bosco. Anything but Dennis” the imp said with disdain turning to the portal.
Or maybe he will.
“Hey Blitz.” He heard someone call him before he could crossover the magic threshold. He turned to see the sin of gluttony, carrying two kegs of Beezlejuice.
“If you’re wanting a rematch, I’m gonna have to pass this time” the imp said. As much as he would like to drown himself in a keg of Beezlejuice and forget the day’s events, now was not the time for that.
“Nah, these are some party favors. Look out for her, you here” the sin said. She liked Octavia and hoped to see the owl again soon. Hopefully with Stolas in tow next time.
“Don’t worry, I plan on it” he agreed before throwing the kegs into the portal.
“Later bitches!” he shouted, not caring that he got disapproving howls as he jumped through the portal as well, closing it as he made it to the other side.
Chapter 33: Time For Bed, Via
Chapter Text
When Blitz entered the palace from the portal, he was greeted with the sight of Moxxie and Millie trapped under the kegs of Beezlejuice he just tossed through the portal with Loona struggling to hold Via back as she tried to get ahold of the alcohol.
“Did you seriously just steal those?” Loona asked irritatingly as she struggled to hold the owl, dragging her to the table, away from the booze.
“What? No! These’re party favors.” the mottled imp defended himself as he closed the portal behind him. From the look his daughter was giving him, he could tell she didn’t believe him.
“Um… a little help here” Millie begged as the heavy kegs were crushing her and her husband.
“Via, sit. Here, uh… play with this.” The hellhound put the owl on a chair, giving her the now empty box that contained the new toaster, before going over to the trapped imps. Via looked at her box as if it were the most amazing thing in hell.
“Thanks” Moxxie thanked the hellhound as she freed him from the heavy keg, rubbing his back as he stood up. His wife doing the same thing as she was freed.
“Looney, put them in here for now. We’ll deal with it tomorrow” Blitz ordered as he opened the pantry door. The hellhound stacked the kegs carelessly. The top one looked like it would topple over before Blitz slammed the door. Whoever opened the pantry next would have to be careful they don’t get crushed by the falling keg.
“Uh, Via? You ok?” Millie asked the owl, who was wearing the box over her head. The imp removed the box, causing the owl to look at the female imp confusedly, before a big smile appeared on her face.
“Molly!” she cheered, wrapping her in a big hug. (Why’s she wet and sticky?)
“Millie, sweetie.” she corrected as she gently removed herself from the owl. “… she’s wasted, ain’t she?” the female imp guessed out loud, judging from the teen’s behavior and stench of alcohol.
“I’m not wasted, silly. I’m Via… giggle” Via corrected Millie, who gave her an ‘I knew it’ look. Moxxie walked up to them, a glass of water in hand.
“Here. Drink this. It’ll help” he handed the glass to Via.
“Moxxie! You are veeeerrryyy pretty.” she said causing the imp to blush as she took the cup, downing it in one go.
“Uh… thanks?” he said, not sure what to say to that.
“You should wear dresses. Makes you pretty.” the owl said matter-of-factly, causing the white-haired imp to studder in embarrassment. Blitz smirked at that, happy someone agrees with him, even if they are drunk and doped up.
“How much did she drink?” Millie turned as she asked the hellhound suspiciously.
click
Everyone turned to see the owl opening a can of beer.
“Seriously? Where are you getting these?” Loona asked the drunk owl, amazed as the alcohol seemingly came from nowhere. They had beer in the fridge, sure, but the owl was nowhere near that.
“No!” Blitz scolded as he snatched the beer before she could take a sip. Millie and Moxxie held the owl back as she let out a pained whine, reaching for her stolen drink. She started crying, as she watched in dismay as the mottled imp dumped the beer down the sink.
“Y-you’re m-m-mean!!!” she wailed as tears ran down her face. She couldn’t understand why the mottled imp was being so mean to her. First, he took her beer, then he counted, then made her go to bed (still in progress) and now, he took her beer!
Blitz was not prepared for the tears. He hated seeing her cry, hated it more that he was the cause of it, even if it was for her own good. He ran up to her, trying to get her to stop crying.
“No, no, no. Don’t cry. It’s ok, don’t cry… ssshhhh” the owl continued to cry as he tried thinking of a way to get her to stop. “… hey… want some chocolate?” he offered, not really knowing how to stop a kid from crying other than offer sweets.
“Whimper… sniff… yeah,” she said woefully as she wiped her tears away with her sleeve.
“Ok…ok, I’ll get you some chocolate. Just… enough with the crying, ok?” He said, watching her nod as she stopped crying with the promise of sweets. He didn’t know where any chocolate was around here, but he knew someone who did. “Moxxie! Chocolate! Stat!” Blitz yelled in his employee’s ear.
“Sir, you don’t have to yell. I’m right here!” the smaller imp, who was standing right next to his boss, yelled back.
“Quit yelling, you’ll wake up the whole palace!!” Blitz yelled louder.
“We’re the only ones here!!” The smaller imp reminded his boss as he matched his volume.
“Both of you Shut up!” Loona yelled, grabbing both of their heads before knocking them together. While Loona was dealing with the two men, Millie went to the fridge and got out the chocolate covered strawberries from the previous night. They were still good and there were quite a lot still. She grabbed some and handed them to the owl, who happily ate them all in her hands messily, leaves and all.
“Mmmm… These are better than brownies! Gasp! … brown tastes like brownies!” she realized as she continued to eat, smearing chocolate all over her face. Once she was done eating her treats, she looked up to Millie expectantly, as if asking for more.
Millie noticed her strange behavior. Her sister, Sallie May, acted like this after she ate some ‘magic mushrooms’ during a Harvest Moon Festival when they were teens. “Loona… please tell me she’s not…” Millie trailed off.
“She…may also be a little high.” Loona said embarrassingly pinching her fingers real close for emphasize.
“High?!!” Moxxie yelled in shock as stopped he rubbing his sore head to look at the hellhound in disbelief.
“Hi!!” Via waved a greeting to him from her spot on her chair.
“Why’d you give her drugs?” Moxxie asked glaring accusingly at the hellhound. It was bad enough the owl was drunk, but if the prince or Vassago found out she let Via take drugs? … well, it was nice knowing her.
“I didn’t. I went to the bathroom for like two minutes and found her like this.” she defended. She felt it was important not to tell the group that she’d lost the owl for almost an hour.
“Ok, sweetie, let’s get you cleaned up,” Millie said, as she held up a cloth to wipe her face, taking note of her wounds. “What happened to your face?” she asked.
“Vikki happened. She was causing us trouble, but Bee took care of it” Loona explained. Blitz looked up from rubbing his sore head from where he got head bashed by Moxxie, ready to find this Vikki and introduce her to the barrel of his gun.
“She’s a bitch. But you can’t say that word… Ssshhhh” Via explained, shushing at the bad word.
“Uh huh,” was all Millie said as she wiped the owl’s face. Via tried to turn her head away from the cloth as it wiped away the chocolate. Once her face was cleaned, the imp stepped back.
“Alright, sweetie, let’s get you to bed, k?” Millie said, ready to take the owl to bed.
“Noooooo!!!” the owl whined.
“Yeeessss.” Blitz mock whined back, rolling his eyes. He was over this day and the sooner she was in bed, the better. “Let’s go,” he picked her up and started to carry her bridal style to her room, only for her to flail around, trying to escape his clutches.
“Ah, shit” Blitz swore as her flailing caused him to drop her near the entryway, only for her to feather travel back to the chair she sat on moments ago. She brought her knees up and grabbed the seat of her chair tightly. She was not going to bed. Blitz went back to the chair and with a determined look on his face, decided to pull her chair, dragging it and the owl toward her bedroom, causing a horrible sound as the legs of the chair dragged along the floor.
SCREEEEECH
If this was how he was going to get her to her room, then so be it. The others in the kitchen did what any good employee would do… just stand there and watch their boss do all the work. Somehow, in her drunk and drugged brain, Via registered the chair would not stop the imp, so once he dragged her near the fridge, leading to the bedrooms, she let go of her grip on the chair to grab the fridge’s door handle.
Releasing his hold on the chair, kicking it away, he grabbed her waist, trying to pull her away from the fridge as she held on for dear life. “Dammit, Via! Let go!” He demanded.
“Nnnooooo!!” She whined. Blitz pulled as hard as he could without hurting her, causing the fridge to open, revealing a fully stocked fridge. The owl saw a light coming from the fridge and all the food. She decided she would go into the fridge, hide from the mean imp and eat all the yummy food inside.
With this plan, she suddenly let go as Blitz gave a hard yank, causing them to fall back. Via landed on her stomach in the middle of the kitchen, while Blitz landed upside down right in Eris’ pot. He opened his eyes as he felt something moist and tight around his lower half, before he was lifted in the air. (Crap! She’s trying to eat me again!)
“Giggle…. Eris loves you!” Via giggled from her spot on the floor, pointing at the distressed imp, forgetting about the fridge behind her.
“Someone, get me the fuck outta here!” He yelled as Loona rushed up to him, trying to pull him out by his arms.
Eris only gurgled, tightening her grip. He could feel something sharp digging into his sides as his daughter pulled harder. (Never thought I’d die like this. Eaten by Stolas’ favorite plant... seriously though, I should’ve seen it coming!)
“Your doin it wrong. You gotta be real gentle like,” Millie explained as she went to Eris, rubbing a spot on her bulb, just like Via showed her on their first day at the palace. Blitz felt the grip loosen as Millie continued to rub, only for Loona to yank him out a little too hard, causing him to go flying.
CRASH
He crashed into a wall rack that contained pot and pans, knocking several of the cookware off and onto the floor, burying him.
‘Are you alright, Sir?” Moxxie asked, as he helped his boss sit up, removing some of the cookware off his body.
“Groan…I hate that weed” he said rubbing his head as he sat up.
“What’s going on in here?” an irritated voice came from behind them. They all turned to the voice, looking like deer caught in a headlight. “There better be a good reason as to why I can hear you all the way from Stolas’ room.”Vassago demanded, glaring at the demons in the kitchen.
“Vvvaaassaaagggoooo!!!” Via all but lunged at the parrot, startling him, not expecting the sudden hug. Loona had a huge ‘oh crap’ look on her face. She could have gotten away with Via’s current condition with the imps, but with one of the Goetia? Not likely.
“…Octavia, what’s gotten into you? And onto you?” taking note of how she felt damp and sticky. He sniffed her. “Is that Beezlejuice?" he asked, recognizing the smell.
“Beezlejuice tastes like yellow” she said, causing him to raise an eyebrow. “And absinthe tastes like green. I love absinthe. Let’s be absinthe buddies!” she said excitedly, remembering he liked the green drink. Speaking of which, she pulled out a quarter full bottle of absinthe from her hiding spot in her cardigan. She wanted some now and she was sure the parrot wouldn’t let that mean old Blitz take it from her.
“How does she keep doing that?” Loona asked quietly, shrinking back with a whimper as the parrot glared at her, knowing she was in trouble. She started preparing a will in her head (I’ll leave my bedroom to Blitz. Fatty can have my dresses. I’ll leave Millie my hairdryer…)
“Via, will you share that with me.” Vassago asked gently as he held out his hand. Via was only too glad to hand over her booze to her new drinking buddy. “Thank you. Did you have a lot to drink, sweetie?” he asked her gently.
She nodded enthusiastically, spreading her arms out wide. “I drank this much!” she said proudly.
“My, that is a lot” he continued talking to her like she was little again. “Via? Do you wanna see your daddy?”
Her eyes widened as she nodded. She does want to see him. He loves absinthe too; they could all be absinthe buddies!
Blitz looked at the parrot in disbelief (Are you fucking kidding me??? I can’t see him, but she can? I’m the one that’s fucking sober!!)
“Well, if you wanna see him, you have to go night night first, ok? Can you do that?” he asked her gently. She nodded. She could do that.
“Good,” he told her with a smile. He opened a portal to her bedroom before turning to the hellhound with a stern look. “I trust you’ll help her.” he told her. From the look he was giving her, she could tell there was no room for argument
“Uh, y-yeah sure.” She agreed, not wanting to piss him off further. As she walked by, he put a hand on her shoulder and leaned down to her ear.
“We will discuss this in the morning. But for now, you may want to check her pockets before you put her to bed” was all he said as he let her go. She gave him a questioning look before taking the owl by the shoulders and guiding her to her room. Once they crossed over the threshold, the parrot closed the portal.
“How’d you do that?” Blitz asked in amazement. He was literally dragging the princess to her room, but the parrot made it look so easy.
“I’ve had years of practice with Stolas. Luckily, she behaves similarly to him” the parrot said as he uncorked the bottle in his hand and chugged the remaining absinthe before tossing the bottle in the trash. After the day he had, he really needed that.
(First Bee, now Vas? Does Stolas have a drinking problem or something?) “Should you be chugging that stuff?” Blitz asked. He didn’t want the parrot to get too drunk if Stolas wasn’t well.
“Please. This much absinthe? It’s not even enough to get me tipsy.” He said as a matter of factly. “Now care to explain why you all were making a ruckus?” the parrot asked, still unhappy with their noise level.
When he first heard the loud thuds from the kegs being tossed through the portal, he thought nothing of it. Blitz did say that Moxxie and Millie went shopping, so maybe they accidentally dropped something heavy nearby. Then he heard yelling but could distinguish I.M.P. from intruders. Probably a disagreement, but he hoped it would end soon. It was when he heard the crash that he had enough.
“We were trying to get Via to bed, then Eris tried to eat me.” Blitz explained, causing Vassago to give him a questioning look.
“Really? Odd... She likes you.” he said, confusing the imp. (Why does everyone keep saying that?) The parrot looked at the imp more closely. “Yeah, thought so. She wasn’t trying to eat you.” he said before turning.
“Y-yes she was! I was literally in her mouth! Loona had to pull me out and Millie did… whatever she did, to get her to let go!” he argued, angry at the parrots lack of concern for his wellbeing.
“Are you bleeding out or missing any body parts” the parrot asked as he went to the where he had his herbs.
“Uh…no?” the mottled imp answered, confusedly.
“Then she wasn’t trying to eat you. If she was, you wouldn’t be intact.”
“Yeah? Then what the fuck’s she doing?” Blitz demanded. What else could Eris be doing to him if not trying to eat him?
“Cuddling” Vassago said, not looking up as he grabbed some moly, milk thistle, ginger and skullcap.
Blitz glared at his employees as they heard them giggle, (That’s bullshit. I know she wants to eat me. I felt her fucking teeth around me) before he watched as the parrot crushed the herbs and put them in a Tupperware, setting it off to the side.
“Are those for the prince, your highness?” Moxxie asked.
“No, Via. If she’s drank as much as she claims, she’ll have one hell of a hangover tomorrow. This should help with that. But she can have it in the afternoon. Hopefully it will teach her not to overindulge” he said.
“That's how my dad taught me. Granted I had to do farm chores too. That was not fun” Millie said remembering, the pounding in her head as she had to listen to loud animals and willing herself not to vomit from their horrible stench. The family lost several animals to their hungover daughter that morning.
"A very efficient way of handling it” the parrot agreed with her parents’ method. Maybe he will do something like that for the teen owl and the hellhound tomorrow, to deter this kind of behavior in the future. “Now if there’ nothing else I’ll take my leave. Good night and try to keep it down.” The parrot said as he left. Blitz followed after him.
“Don’t even think about it,” he threatened as Eris leaned closer to him, gurgling. Maybe he should start carrying a spray bottle of acid or something to keep her away.
“Vassago, got a sec?” The parrot turned to the imp just before he entered the owl’s room.
“Is he any better?” he asked.
“There’s not much progress I’m afraid. He’s still not well enough for visitors.” he said. He understood Blitz wanted to see him, but Stolas was still not well enough for the company.
“Just let me see him, for a few minutes?” he asked.
“Blitz, he’s…”
“Yeah, yeah, I heard you before. But I just need to see him…please.” He begged. After what happened with Lemonade, his talk with Fizz and Ozzie and now a drunk Via, he needed to see Stolas.
Vassago gave him a look over before pinching the bridge of his beak. He knew the imp would not let it go until he let him see his friend.
“Sigh… fine. You’ve got ten minutes.” He reluctantly said. Blitz wasn’t happy with the amount of time, but he supposed it was better than nothing. “But there are rules.”
“…what?” Blitz asked in disbelief. He couldn’t believe this. He had to follow rules now to see the owl? For a measly ten minutes?
“First, no yelling or loud noises. Second, no mentioning the purification” Ok… those are reasonable. He could do that. “And finally, unless he gives you explicit permission to do so, don’t touch him”
“You serious?” How was he supposed to comfort the owl if he can’t touch him?
“Do you want to see him or not?” The parrot asked impatiently.
Blitz weighed his options. Either he follows these dumb rules, or he might not see the owl until at least tomorrow.
“… ok, ok fine. I won't touch him” he said annoyed. Maybe there was a good reason for the last rule. Maybe he had traces of magic still on him like last time? He could do without another prophecy, thank you very much.
The parrot opened the door, letting the mottled imp inside. “Remember, ten minutes” and with that he closed the door letting the two have some privacy.
He looked ahead. The tray he brough up earlier was on the nightstand, one plate of the casserole looked like it was half eaten, while the other was left untouched. There was a cup of Vassago’s awful tea sitting there as well. There was some sort of dropper in the cup, but otherwise, the tea was barely touched. There were empty glass bottles and vials on the vanity, a cloth underneath it, like they were drying after being washed. There was a lot of the glassware. The bandages he brought up were stacked on the left most trunk. Seabiscuit the seahorse was still on the floor from last night. And lying on the bed, was the one the imp was looking for.
Blitz made his way over to the bed, walking around it so he was facing the owl. Stolas was in the same position he was in earlier when he brought up the food. Huddled in a fetal position, trembling, a blanket wrapped tightly around his body. His eyes were screwed shut with pain and fear etched on his tear-stained face. The only sounds he was making were whimpers.
"Stols?” the imp said quietly, trying to get the owl to look up at him. His only response was a whimper. “Hey pretty bird. You ok?” he asked gently, only to get another whimper in response. The owl refused to open his eyes to see who was calling out to him.
Forgetting Vassago’s rule, he reached out to the owl’s head. He barely touched one of his gray head feathers, one above the bruise on his head from where he hit it on the nightstand the previous night, when the owl flinched away, curling into himself further and tightening his hold on the blanket. He let out a chitter as if the imp just stabbed him with a thousand holy knives
“N-no m-more…n-no m-more” he begged, his voice hoarse and quiet. It broke the imp’s heart to see the owl like this. Stolas should be all bubbly, happy and spewing useless knowledge and dirty talk, not…this. Blitz suddenly had an idea. When he was little, momma did something that would help calm him down whenever he had a bad dream or got hurt. He didn’t know if it would work on the owl, but it couldn’t hurt to try, right?
He got as close to Stolas as possible without touching him, before he started purring. It was low and gentle, a major contrast from his normal loud self. If anyone saw him doing this, he would deny it and probably shoot them for even implying he did this. But for the owl, he would gladly do it if it helped.
He stayed like that, just allowing the owl to listen to the, hopefully, calming sounds. After a few minutes he saw the owl’s trembling body and pain-etched face start to relax, and whimpers dying down. As he continued his purring, he watched Stolas fall into an uneasy sleep.
“He’s finally asleep? Good. He needs it” the quiet voice made Blitz jump, he had to stop himself from yelling out in surprise as Vassago stood there from the other side of the bed. He was so focused on Stolas that he hadn’t noticed him come in. His ten minutes were up.
“What the fuck’s wrong with him?” he asked quietly as they made their way to the door, looking back at the figure in the bed.
“Purifications are very intense and excruciatingly painful. It’s not uncommon for vessels to act like this after going through them,” the parrot explained as he followed the imp’s gaze.
“Can’t you give him something? A potion or pills or… anything?” the imp asked, not liking how the owl was suffering.
“I have. I’ve already given him pain killing tonics and calming potions. I’ve also given him a bit of tea, which has some of the best medicinal herbs for his condition. Believe it or not, he was way worse than this hours ago.” the parrot explained. The mottled imp didn’t feel very reassured at that. If Stolas is acting like this now, after taking whatever the parrot gave him, he couldn’t imagine how he was hours ago.
“And…he doesn’t have mana poisoning anymore…right? You don’t have to do this again?” he asked warily.
“No, the ritual was successful. He had regained more mana in the first few hours of the ritual than he has the first day after the previous one. He should make a full recovery now” The parrot reassured. Well at least that’s something.
“Well, a deal’s a deal. Thanks for letting me see him. The offer still stands if you need a break.” The imp turned to leave before the parrot stopped him.
“You can stay with him tonight if you’d like.” The parrot offered. The imp was able to get Stolas to calm down enough to sleep after all, plus after performing the ritual, he could use some rest himself. “Just remember the rules. If he wakes up, try giving him some tea” he said gesturing to the teacup with the dropper in it. “And if he’s still in pain, come get me. I’ll know what’s best for him to have.”
The imp nodded, hoping he didn’t seem too eager. “Yeah, I can do that. Thanks Vas…sago” he briefly remembered the parrot didn’t want to be called Vas.
The parrot smiled down at him before leaving. “Goodnight, Blitz.”
Once the door closed, Blitz went over to the bed, turning off the lamp on the nightstand as he passed by. He lay on the bed on the opposite side of the owl, staring at the owl facing away from him as he slept. He let Stolas keep the blanket that was tightly wrapped around himself, he was fine without one. After a few minutes of watching the bird, his eyelids felt heavy. Closing his eyes, he joined the owl in the blissfulness of sleep.
*****
Meanwhile…
Well, the mystery of where Via was getting her booze has been solved. Loona couldn’t believe she didn’t think to check the owls’ pockets. She found three full beer cans, two wine coolers, a half bottle of tequila and a decanter of Beezlejuice. (Her pockets must be magic. There’s no way she could have fit all those in them without magic.)
Loona helped the owl get dressed in a ‘Fuck You Dad’ band t-shirt and some gym shorts. The hellhound went to her bathroom, grabbed a glass of water and set it on the owls’ nightstand next to her locket, before plugging in her phone to charge (thankfully not damaged from her dive in the Beezlejuice). Once the owl fell onto her bed, she realized she was tired now.
“Alright Via, night,” the hellhound said as she turned off her lights, turning to the door.
“I’ve always wanted a sister. I’m glad it’s you.” Loona turned to look at the owl, who was starting to drift off.
“Yeah, I am too,” she said with a smile.
“I hope our dads stay together.” Loona smiled at that, somewhat surprised that the owl was coherent enough to think that. But she smiled, she hoped for the same thing as well. She could see how her adoptive father felt about the prince and vice versa.
“And if they get married, they can make all the babies. We’ll be big sister princesses and rule hell with our baby army!” Via shouted excitedly, causing the hellhound to facepalm, before chuckling at that thought of them sitting on thrones made of skulls and bones, commanding armies of baby owl/imp hybrids.
“Yeah, yeah sure” she humored the owl, watching as she fell asleep. “Night, sis.” Loona said as she left her room, closing the door behind her.
Chapter 34: Dreams
Chapter Text
It was about 8am when Loona, dressed in her sleepwear, got up to get her morning coffee and breakfast. As she made her way to the kitchen, she saw Vassago, in his orange bathrobe, sitting at the table drinking tea while reading his book.
“Morning,” he greeted the hellhound, not bothering to look up from his reading.
“Uh, hey” she greeted nervously. She hoped he wasn’t still mad for what happened to Via. The hellhound went to the coffee maker and started making a pot of coffee, trying to avoid looking at the parrot.
“So, about last night.” he said finally, putting his book down to give the hellhound a stern look. Yep, he’s still mad.
“Look, I swear I wasn’t trying to get her drunk or anything. Sure, I let her have a few drinks, but Beelzebub gave her some first and I…” he raised a hand to get her to stop.
“I understand you are not entirely to blame for her condition. She is old enough to know she shouldn’t be drinking until she’s older. However, she was under your care, and you let her get into such a state.’ He scolded.
‘I’m sorry” she apologized, looking away in shame.
“It’s alright. I understand when you go to one of those types of parties, it’s easy to get carried away, especially if you’re used to the rather boring affairs nobles must attend.” She looked up at him smiling at her, happy she was forgiven.
“I must ask though, how she became injured.” he asked, remembering her scratched and bruised face.
“There’s this hellhound, Vikki. She was causing trouble for us since we arrived. She accused Via of breaking her phone and attacked her and our friends. Via never touched the phone by the way.” She explained as she poured herself a cup of coffee, seeing the parrot frown.
“I see. And what became of this hellhound?”
“Bee got involved and dealt with her, after I threw a lamp at that bitch.” she explained before taking a sip of her coffee, thinking how the poodle deserved it after what she said and did.
“I see. Were there any other times she was attacked? Did anyone try taking advantage of her?” he asked.
“No,” she said. She hoped he didn’t ask about the drugs. She wasn’t sure she could get away from that.
“Good. You kept her relatively safe and that’s all that matters,” Loona smiled at that. “However, don’t think you are getting off lightly for allowing her to get that intoxicated” he said sternly.
She shrank a bit. Fearing whatever punishment he had in mind, she started thinking of funeral arrangements. (I want a Viking funeral and ‘my world is burning down around me’ playing as my corpse is set on fire).
“So today, you and Octavia will be tending to all the plants within the palace and greenhouse, save the restricted area of course. Without magic. Is that understood?” he said, giving her a stern look. She nodded nervously. It wasn’t a death sentence, so that was something.
“Excellent, why don’t you go get Via so you can get ready and start your day” he said with a smile, glad that the hellhound agreed.
“Yawn…morning,” Moxxie, still in his striped pajamas, greeted them as he went to the pantry to grab some cereal. He opened the door, only to let out a yelp as a keg of Beezlejuice fell on top of him.
THUD
The hellhound and parrot turned to see not one, but two kegs of Beezlejuice in the pantry. (Crap! I forgot those were in there!) The hellhound nervously turned to the parrot glaring accusingly at her.
“…Blitz did it.” she said as she hurried to the owl’s room before she got scolded again.
“Um… a little help…please” Moxxie begged as the keg crushed him.
*****
Meanwhile…
It was sunset on their property in Wrath. Loona and Via were racing on hell horses, laughing as they were neck in neck in their race, passing Moxxie and Millie. The married pair were sitting under a tree near a pond. Moxxie wearing a flowing pink sundress as Millie lovingly rubbed his very pregnant belly.
Looking right, Vassago was leaning against a windmill, with Lemonade on his arm, the two seemed to be arguing about the parrot’s tea making skills. Pastures of hell horses were behind the arguing birds. Turing left, there was a large field of carnivorous plants, with a scarecrow made of Striker’s corpse being attacked by queeves. Fizz was sitting on Ozzie’s shoulder, both laughing in amusement as the imps white, special needs queef somehow jumped up to clamp down on the bounty hunter’s nose.
Blitz was sitting on the porch of their two story, rustic farmhouse, watching his family and friends. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Well almost everyone. There was one demon that he didn’t see with the others.
“Oh, Blitzy” he heard the sweet singsong voice behind him. (Speak of the devil…) The imp turned and there, leaning against the doorframe, was his favorite owl. Stolas was smiling at him with four adoring red eyes. Happy, healthy and dressed in his favorite bathrobe.
“Well, hey there gorgeous. Enjoying the view? Cuz I sure am.” he greeted, looking the owl up and down seductively.
“Very much so, darling.” Stolas said with a smile as he looked up, seeing their friends and family, before turning back to the imp with a seductive grin of his own. “Everyone seems like they’re having a good time. Why don’t we go upstairs and have a little fun ourselves?”
“Aw, hell yeah” the imp agreed, slapping his owl’s ass as they entered the house.
The walls of their home were filled with photos of the pair with all their friends and family, no one scribbled out. There was a large, framed wedding photo above their couch. Blitz was wearing a tuxedo, holding Stolas, who was wearing a sparkling wedding dress, veil and all. Their daughters and M&M were behind them, wearing long, lilac bridesmaid dresses and holding bouquets of red lilies, yellow dahlias and oakleaf hydrangeas. Everyone had a big smile on their faces. The rest of the house was filled with bookshelves, horse decorations and a few carnivorous plants, no Eris in sight.
The couple went upstairs to the master bedroom. It looked just like Stolas’ palace bedroom, but with a horse blanket on the bed, Seabiscuit on the pillows, a large chest labeled ‘Our Sex Stuff’ and glow in the dark stars all over the walls and ceiling.
“Hey. Ya’ll gonna do some passionate fornicating?” the plush eagerly asked in a very deep, masculine voice. Blitz threw the pervy seahorse in the chest before closing it, causing the plush to whine in disappointment that it couldn’t watch.
“Blitzy, aren’t you gonna ravish me?” he turned around to see his husband shed his robe, revealing his sexy body harness and a ball gag hanging from his neck.
“Mine!"Blitz growled in lust as he lunged at the owl, pushing him down onto their bed, causing them both to laugh.
“I love you, Blitzy.” Stolas looked up at him adoringly. The imp returned the look, leaning down to kiss that lovely beak…
THUD
*****
Blitz woke up to the sudden noise. Looking around, he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. He looked at the clock. 8:12 am. He had to admit that was probably the best night’s sleep he’d had in a while.
With a stretch and yawn, the mottled imp got up to use the bathroom, glancing at the plush seahorse still on the floor as he went by. (Guess it was all just a dream. I should’ve guessed. There’s no way that thing can have such a deep voice). Once he was finished doing his business, he walked to the bed to his still sleeping partner. Stolas was in the same position he was in last night, a frown etched on his face. Blitz hoped he didn’t wake up in the middle of the night only for the imp to sleep through it.
Through the morning light, he saw the owl’s feathers were not as dull as yesterday, the bruise on his head seemed to be fading a bit as well. His breathing was a lot less ragged. The imp smiled at that; it looked like he was a lot better than yesterday. Once again, he forgot the parrots no touching rule as he placed a hand on the owl’s forehead, frowning at his temperature. (At least he’s breathing easier, but he still has a pretty high fever. I’ll have to ask Vas if he’s got something to break it.)
Maybe it was his dream or because he was happy that the owl was finally getting better, but something inside him decided to give the owl a kiss on his forehead, causing Stolas to give a small smile in his sleep. Happy about the reaction, he started caressing Stolas’ face, causing the owl to stir a bit. He stopped and moved his hand away as the owl rolled over onto his other side with a pained moan before settling down and drifting back to sleep.
“Alright, Stols, I’ll be nice and let you sleep.” He told the sleeping owl with a fond smile before he noticed the owl’s blanket fell a bit, revealing his bandaged right shoulder. (I wonder if his arm’s bet… wait. His left arm’s hurt, not the right one. And definitely not that high up).
Blitz got curious, wondering why the parrot bandaged the wrong limb. He pulled the blanket back a bit, revealing more bandages, not just on his arm, but his torso. His eyes widened in horror as he continued to pull the blanket down until it was completely off the owl. Stolas was completely covered in them, almost like a mummy. Blitz was finally awake enough to remember the parrots no touching rule.
“This why he didn’t want me touching you? The fuck that bastard do?” Blitz asked the sleeping owl quietly, not getting a response. He noticed the owl starting to shiver now that he didn’t have his blanket keeping him warm. Blitz covered Stolas back up, careful not to wake him or touch his injured body. He stepped back as he heard a knock on the door, going over and opening it to reveal the red bastard himself.
“Morning” the parrot greeted him as he entered the room, a hot cup of tea in hand.
“Morning” the imp greeted back.
“Did he wake up at all last night?" he asked as he set the hot tea down before picking up the cold one, noticing the owl had shifted in his sleep.
“No, he’s been asleep this whole time” the imp said, hoping it was true.
“Good. I can take it from here. Thanks for staying with him” Vassago said as he placed the cold tea from last night on the tray with the uneaten food.
“No worries. Uh, need help with anything? More herbs or help changing his bandages. I mean, since he’s covered in them, you…” the parrot looked at him when he mentioned the bandages, giving him an accusing look. (Right. No touching rule.)
“He…knocked off his blanket and I saw he has a lot on him. Plus, you did ask for more last night, so I thought…” he trailed off, hoping the parrot believed his lied. The parrot gave him a questioning look before turning.
“No, I can manage, but thanks. If you can take the tray with you that would be appreciated. Also please do something about the Beezlejuice in the kitchen. They’ve already crushed Moxxie” he said as he went to the trunks.
“Uh, sure…right. Ok.” he said as he grabbed the tray with last night’s dinner and tea. He turned to give the sleeping owl one last look before leaving. He went to his room first to change before taking the tray to the kitchen.
“Morning bitches” he greeted M&M. Moxxie was still rubbing his sore back from where he was crushed while Millie fed some meat to Eris. Looks like the plant was feeling better, but he still tried his best to avoid her lest she try to ‘cuddle’ him again. He threw the food in the trash and poured the tea in the sink, learning not to give it to Eris anymore. He put the dishes in the dishwasher before going over to the kegs. He opened a portal to the office and threw one in.
“What’re you doing sir? Moxxie asked suspiciously, seeing where the portal was located.
“I’m keeping one for us, the birds can have the other one. You can unclench your pussies, I’m taking it to the cellar, so Via won’t drink it.” he said as he saw the alarmed looks of his employees, before he closed the portal and rolled the other keg to where he knew the cellar was.
Carefully, he carried the keg down the steps, before depositing it on the floor near a wine rack. The imp glanced around, seeing many bottles of wine, absinthe, and other types of alcohol. He always assumed they had these for noble parties or status symbols or something like that. But now, after seeing Via intoxicated and the mention of Stolas’ drinking, he couldn’t help but wonder how much the older owl drank on a regular basis.
“What’s he got to drink about? He’s a fucking prince.” Blitz asked himself as he walked back up to the main floor.
*****
Meanwhile…
Via was lounging on a throne of skulls and bones, a goblet of absinthe in one hand. She was sitting in a ruined castle, the wall destroyed revealing rivers of Beezlejuice flowing around the ruins and an army of her baby siblings standing at attention.
There were thousands of hybrid babies. Some were in diapers, other onesies, all sporting various toy weapons (water guns, wooden swords and giant balloon hammers to name a few). A few held up toy banners that had poorly drawn stick figures of a Stolas and Blitz holding hands in a big pink heart.
Loona was sitting next to her, lounging in her own throne, twirling a large bone lazily as they listened to their general give his report. He was a baby imp/owl hybrid that looked like a tiny, fluffy red Stolas with imp horns, spade tail, and two golden eyes. He was wearing a diaper along with a too big iron war helmet and too long purple cape. A wooden toy sword at his side and several gold star stickers were on his chest, showing his rank.
“Youw big sissyness’s, we defeated da bwitch Vikki and bwought you hew head.” He said in a cute, but serious baby voice. Behind him a few baby hybrids were struggling to hold up a pike with the poodle’s head. “Shaw we mawch fowawd and cwaim aw da booze and bwownies in gwuttany?” their general, asked.
“Excellent work, general Fluffnugget! You may proceed.” Via said as she took a sip of her absinthe. With a bow that caused his helmet to tilt forward, causing him to adjust it, general Fluffnugget turned to the army, pulling out his toy sword in the direction of where they would march.
‘Awmy! We mawch! Fow ouw sissies and daddies!!!” he shouted, leading to a bunch of excited cheers and chirps from the baby army as they turned to march in the opposite direction. Via turned to Loona, who tossed her bone at Vikki’s severed head, knocking it off the pike, before pulling out a beer bottle.
“It’s good to be in charge” she said turning to the owl with a smile as they clanked their drinks.
THUD
*****
A loud noise suddenly woke Via up from her strange dream, making her wish she hadn’t. Her head felt like it would explode, and she felt nauseous. Groaning, she put her hand to her head, willing the pain to go away.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
She groaned again as knocked on the door. It was so damn loud.
“Hey” She groaned again at the too loud voice.
“Time to get up, we’ve got work to do.”
She looked up and there was Loona with a look of sympathy on her face.
“Groan… not so loud. My head feels like your dad ran over it.” Via said woefully.
“Yeah, that’s what happens when you drink an ass load of booze and take drugs thinking they’re brownies. Here, drink this” she tried handing the owl the glass of water on her nightstand. Via sat up before projectile vomiting onto the floor. Loona managed to step back before she got splattered, amazed with the amount the owl just threw up. Via collapsed back on her bed, bringing her hands to her pounding head again.
“Groan…I’m never drinking again.” she groaned.
“Yeah, that’s what I told myself the first time too.” Loona said sympathetically.
“…Why are my feathers sticky?” Via asked.
“Oh, you dived into a vat of Beezlejuice.” Loona said matter-of-factly, causing the owl to look at her questioningly. “Why don’t you take a shower and I’ll clean this up then we’ll get coffee. That usually helps me when I’m hungover.” Loona said as she handed the owl her glass of water, which she took a small sip of.
“By the way, Vassago says we need to take care of all the plants today. Without magic.” Via groaned as she heard that. If magic was involved, it wouldn’t take long to care for all the plants here, maybe an hour or two. But now, it could take the whole day.
“Groan… I was wrong. Blitz isn’t the mean one…it's Vassago.”
Chapter 35: Brownies
Chapter Text
The girls walked into the kitchen, Via coming at a slower rate, still hungover. Taking a shower was torture for her. The lights in her bathroom were too bright and the water droplets too loud. She threw up in the toilet at some point, but at least she wasn’t sticky anymore.
“Wweeeeellllll, goooood morning, sunshine!” Blitz greeted cheerfully, taking sadistic pleasure in her misery. After all the trouble she gave him last night, it was her turn to suffer. Via groaned in response, sitting across from the mottled imp, placing her head down on the cool table. She wrapped her arms around her pounding head to try to relieve the pain.
‘So, how we feeling?” the imp continued to tease her.
“Groan… fuck off.” she mumbled. Loona said coffee helps with her hangovers, so she hoped it would help her too. She moaned in pain as she heard the toaster go off as Millie grabbed the toast for herself. Even the imp spreading jam on it was too loud to the owl.
“Here, this should help” the hellhound said as she returned with the owl’s coffee. As Via took a sip, she glared at the smiling mottled imp in front of her.
“What?” She snapped.
“Oh, nothing. Just happy to see your pleasant face. Want some orange juice? Tastes like orange” he teased the teen, holding up a carton of juice. Via glared at him, not understanding what he was talking about.
“Oh, piss off dickhead. My head hurts too much for your lame ass jokes” she said causing him to scowl, covering up his brand in embarrassment at the memory of what she said last night about it. Millie and Moxxie watched the exchange, confused as to why their boss was covering up his brand, but knowing she crossed a line by insulting his jokes. He was just gonna tease her for a bit, but now, he was really gonna make her suffer.
“All right, you win. I won’t talk to you anymore,” he said with a sadistic smirk. “Hey! Who’s up for popcorn?!!” he shouted to the others, as he ran to the pantry as loudly as possible to grab a bag of microwaveable popcorn, causing the owl to close her eyes and cover her ears in pain.
“Be nice, it’s her first time.” Loona said, slapping the back of his head as she stole the popcorn from him.
“I was right…. you are mean.” the owl said glaring at him. He rolled his eyes before noticing watering cans, gardening tools, gloves, and a large bucket of meat on the counter.
“Who’s gardening today?” he asked curiously.
“We are. Vassago is making me and Via take care of all the plants here. Without magic.” Loona grumbled.
“Why?” the mottled imp asked. It could take all day without magic.
“Cuz of what happened last night.” Blitz frowned at that. It was one thing to punish Via, he was technically acting as her guardian while Stolas wasn’t well, but Loona? She was his kid, even though she was technically an adult.
“Sounds fair” the three glared as Moxxie spoke, causing him to shrink back with a wince. He was still sore from the keg falling on him earlier.
“You girls go ahead and get started, I’m gonna have a word with that red bastard.” He said, getting up to give the bird a piece of his mind. How dare he punish his daughter when it wasn’t entirely her fault what happened to Via last night.
*****
“Hey Vas!” He yelled as he barged into the bedroom.
“Keep it down, you’ll wake him.” the parrot whisper yelled as he turned to glare at the imp. A bottle of mint colored salve in his hand. He had maneuvered Stolas onto his back and just finished removing his bandages, so he could treat his wounds.
“What’s the big idea? What gives you the right to punish my kid? I mean, it’s not entirely her fault Via got drunk, ate those ‘brownies’ and…” he started to whisper yell, air quoting brownies.
“What brownies?” the parrot interrupted, glaring at him suspiciously. Blitz belatedly realized the parrot didn’t know about the drugs. (Oh, crap)
“The… brownies that Moxxie was making for dessert today? She ate the whole pan last night when we were trying to get her to bed. He said he’s gonna make more today” he lied, hoping the parrot would believe him.
Vassago glared at him suspiciously. “She better not have taken drugs” the parrot told the imp sternly. “If your daughter let her and you all knew about it…” he trailed off, holding up a fist threateningly and manifesting enough magic to make it look like it was on fire. By the look in his eyes, Blitz knew he was serious.
“Nope. Uh, definitely normal, everyday brownies. No drugs or anything in them” he said nervously. With one last glare, the parrot turned back to his task at hand. (Note to self, have Moxxie make brownies.)
“Loona was responsible for Octavia and allowed her to get into that state. If their roles were reversed, wouldn’t you want the one responsible for making your child like that be held accountable? Be thankful I’m only having them tend to Stolas’ plants unaided by magic.” he said as he opened the bottle in his hands.
“Sigh… ok, yeah I guess I can see where you’re coming from” Blitz reluctantly agreed with him, especially since he didn’t want his sweet Looney to get into more trouble for the drugs. He watched the parrot put a bit of the salve on his hands before noticing two packages of bandages with several vials and bottles of different potions, tonics and powders on the vanity chair and the bathroom wastebin filled with bloody bandages next to the parrot.
The imp walked over to the bed. He wanted to see how bad the owls’ wounds were behind all those bandages. Stolas’ left arm still had a deep cut but didn’t look infected anymore, so that was something. As for the rest of him?
Blitz could see dark glyphs on his feathered body, knowing that the darker areas meant he had wounds underneath his feathers. They were everywhere. The ring of Solomon on his chest looked the most concerning. Even through the feathers, it looked deeper than the other wounds and was still bleeding a bit. He was beginning to see why he was covered with all those bandages.
“Are… are these from the ritual?” he asked dumbly. (Of course they are dumbass. Where else could he have gotten them from?) “Is that why he was hurting so much yesterday?”
“It’s a small part of it” the parrot said, not looking up as he smeared the salve on his chest. (A small part??? What’s the big part?) Blitz waited for the parrot to continue, but he didn’t and to be honest, he wasn’t sure he wanted him to.
“Is there something else you need?” The parrot asked as the imp continued to stare at Stolas.
“No, uh, no that’s it. Uh, need help?” he offered, looking at the owl’s face, he was still somehow asleep. Maybe Vassago gave him something so he wouldn’t wake up?
“No, I’ve got it.” the parrot said as he closed the bottle, wiped his hands and grabbed a vial of a red potion. He poured some of the red fluid over the chest wound.
HIIIISSSS
Blitz paled as he watched steam rising as the concoction turned purple and bubbled from the wound, the horrible stench of burning flesh coming from it. He looked at Stolas’ face again. He was still asleep. Now he was definitely sure Vassago gave the owl something while he treated his wounds.
“Uh, right, so… I’m just … gonna go then. Holler if you need anything.” he said, slowly backing away as he watched the parrot sprinkle a white powder on the owl’s chest, causing the concoction to turn bubblegum pink before he grabbed a bottle of water and a cloth.
Blitz closed the door before he could see what else the parrot was doing to the owl. He shakily leaned against it, trying not to throw up thinking of the owl’s wounds. (First that moon ritual and now this? Are all his rituals like this? How has he not gone insane with how much he has to hurt himself?) Once he calmed down a bit, he got up from his spot on the door.
He decided he’d help the girls with their punishment. It would help them get the job done quicker and, hopefully, help get his mind off what he just saw. As he was looking for the girls, he spotted M&M.
Millie was carrying the meat bucket, tossing meat to the plants as Moxxie watered them with a watering can as they were eating. He remembered what he told the parrot. “Hey Mox, I need you to make some brownies. Stat!” Blitz ordered his employee as he walked over to them.
“Brownies sir? Really?” he questioned unimpressed, thinking it was another way to taunt Via.
“Look, Vassago thinks Loona might have let Via take drugs last night” he explained.
“She did.” Millie said, not seeing where the taller imp was going with this.
“I know that, but he doesn’t. At least, not for sure. I convinced him that you made brownies, and she ate them. So now you gotta make brownies” Blitz explained.
“OK…why?” Moxxie still didn’t understand why he needed to get involved in Blitz’s lie. Suddenly, his boss got in his face, forcing him to lean back.
“Look, if that bird finds out the truth, Loona’s going down. And you can bet your pegged ass that if she goes down, we’re all going down with her. Capeesh?” he said threateningly, slowly extracting himself from his employee’s personal bubble.
“Sigh… fine. What kind? Fudge? Caramel swirl? Triple choc…”
“I don’t care. Just make some damn brownies. And make it snappy.” Blitz interrupted Moxxie’s listing. The glare the smaller imp was giving told him he understood the assignment. “Now that that’s settled, you seen the girls? Might as well give them a hand.” He asked.
“In the greenhouse. We said we’d feed the ones in here for them.” Millie explained as she threw a raw pork chop to a vase with three orange venus flytraps. Blitz watched as they fought over their breakfast while Moxxie watered them.
“Alrighty then, Keep up the good work, Mils. And don’t forget, Mox. Brownies.” He warned the white-haired imp before he turned to the greenhouse.
The white-haired imp rolled his eyes before handing the watering can to his wife.
“Maybe I should make a laxative brownie specially for Blitz, since he’s full of crap.” Moxxie mused as he made his way to the kitchen to make the dessert.
Chapter 36: Hugs From My Girls
Notes:
warning: underage drinking
Chapter Text
It always amazes Blitz how vast the greenhouse is. All the colorful trees, vibrant flowers and the questionable carnivorous plant here and there, he could see why Stolas loved it so much. It didn’t take him long to find Loona near the entrance, watering can in hand as she watered a bush of purple roses.
“Hey, sweetie. Need some help?” He offered, causing her to throw her watering can and some gloves at him. She threw them with such force, it knocked him down onto the ground, spilling water all over himself. He took that as a yes.
Pocketing the gloves for now, the mottled imp went to a nearby pond with water lilies to fill the can. As he did so, he looked around for the hungover owl. “Where’d Via go?” he asked his daughter, not spotting the teen.
“She went to water the plants in the water biome.” the hellhound said matter-of-factly as she bent down to do some weeding. Thanks to the guidebook Via lent her and her keen sense of smell, it wasn’t hard to distinguish herbs and sprouts from weeds.
Blitz looked at her with a questioning look (Why do you need to water plants that live in water?) Feeling his gaze on her, she turned to him. “Yeah, I don’t know either.” she said as if reading his mind, before turning back to her work. He shrugged and went to work watering the bed of flowers nearby.
“So, are we allowed magic or is he punishing you too?” she asked as she opened the guidebook to see if what she was seeing in a bed of lilies were sprouts or weeds. Yep, those are weeds.
“No, I couldn’t convince him to let you use magic and no, I’m not being punished. Just figure I’d give you a hand is all” he said, not wanting to let her know he didn’t really fight that hard for her in fear that he would make things worse with the ‘brownie’ slipup. (Ok, these flowers are all watered) He turned to water the next flowerbed.
“By the way, how’s Stolas?” Loona asked, as she pulled out the weeds and put them in a nearby basket to dispose of later. Blitz lowered his watering can at the question. He couldn’t get the wounds littering the owl’s body out of his head.
“Well, he doesn’t have mana poisoning anymore, so that’s good, but he’s hurting. Vas is with him now, so hopefully he’ll help with that.” He didn’t notice Loona looking up at him as he went back to watering the flowers. From the look on his face, she could tell there was more, but she chose to drop it. With a sigh, she got up and walked over to him. The imp looked up as he saw her approaching.
“Need someth…” he was cut off as she pulled him into a tight hug, leaving him stunned. Usually, he was the one who hugged her (and got hurt in the process) never the other way around. He hugged her back appreciatively, savoring his daughter’s comforting embrace.
After a few minutes, she tried to let go, only for Blitz to continue to cling onto her. “Ok, that’s enough” she tried pushing him off gently, but he wouldn’t let got. “You can let go now” she told him a little firmer, trying to push him off her with more force, only for him to continue to cling to her. She grabbed a nearby gardening hoe and slid it between them.
“Get off!” she growled as she had to literally pry him off with the hoe. “If you tell anyone about this, I'll tear you to shreds” she threatened, before going back to her weeding. He still had a big happy look on his face. This was one of the greatest moments of his life.
*****
Forty minutes later...
“Ok, let’s split up. I’ll go to the tundra area. You go… somewhere else.” Loona told him. She would stay warm in there with her fur.
“Aw, you sure you don’t need help, Looney?” Blitz asked disappointedly. He was enjoying their father-daughter time.
“No! You’ll freeze in there and then bitch about it the whole day. Besides, if we split up, we’ll cover more ground and be done sooner” she said. She did make some valid points. (And if I have to deal with anymore of your sappiness, I’m gonna tear your head off. Then I’ll have more work to do.) “Why don’t you go to the um… I don’t know, the bioluminescent area?” she suggested.
“The… wha? Isn’t that the building with all the hazard signs?” the mottled imp asked, not recognizing the big word.
“No, that’s the restricted area. By the way, we’re not allowed in there. And trust me, you don’t wanna go in there.” she explained, hoping her dad wouldn't take that as a challenge. She didn’t want him to get killed in there, nor get in trouble because he was dumb enough to ignore the warnings. “It’s the area where everything glows.” (And the area farthest away from me.)
“Oh, alright” Blitz agreed dejectedly. “You be careful in there, sweetie.” he said, pulling her head close to give her a big kiss on the cheek. She growled in embarrassment and punched him, sending him sprawling into a nearby tree, before she went into the freezing tundra. (Totally worth it)
He entered the bioluminescent area, taking in the beauty all around him. Even though it was morning, he could see stars above the canopies. The glowing trees had yet to release their glowing spores while the flowers on the ground bloomed as he walked near them. It was all so calming, so magical. Maybe he should have a romantic date here with Stolas. Or they could do some sort of fantasy sex roleplay in here, whichever comes first. He started to water some glowing purple shrubs when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned, expecting his daughter, only to see a still hungover, completely soaked, Octavia.
“What’re you doing here?” she asked, not expecting to see the mottled imp watering her dad’s plants.
“Watering.” he answered as if it wasn’t obvious. “You finished with the water area?” he asked.
“Nah, I just needed to get out of there for a while. Too bright and loud.” she said, going over to a tree with yellow glowing leaves, picking at some of its bark.
Stolas gave him a tour of the entire greenhouse before, except the restricted area, so he understood what she was talking about with the brightness. Most of the plants in there were so brightly colored, they looked like they belonged in a coral reef. He wasn’t sure how it was loud though. There are waterfalls at the very top of the biome, providing both fresh and salt water to the plants. That was the only loud thing he could think of, but he didn’t think she could hear them unless she was near the top.
“How do you water plants in water by the way?” he asked, still not understanding how that worked. He could understand pruning the plants in there, but watering?
“Very carefully” Via said as she popped a piece of the bark in her mouth and started chewing it.
“Why are you eating a tree?” the imp asked confused. He didn’t think she was still high enough to want to eat a tree.
“Bark from certain trees is medicinal. Chewing them can relieve headaches, nausea, that sort of thing… but this is not one of them” she said as she spat out the bark she was chewing. Maybe it’s the tree with the glowing pink leaves she was looking for?
“Don’t just put it back! That’s disgusting!” Blitz yelled as the owl put the chewed bark back on the tree as if she was sticking gum to a wall.
“Gah! Not so loud!” she said, covering her ears at his yelling.
“First times always the worst kid, trust me.” He said amused, remembering the first time he got drunk and hungover.
~Flashback~
Twenty-three years ago…
Pay close attention while you get a look at... this
Yeah, look at this
Then, look at that
Hehey, here's a hat
Twelve-year-old FizzaRolli sang as he pulled out a rubber duck before discarding it. Then he pulled out three balls and started juggling before pointing to one of the circus’ cannons. Then he got Cash Buckzo’s attention again as he put on a pirate hat.
When Fizz told the older imp he wanted to show him a new act he was working on, of course he agreed to watch. Afterall, who wouldn’t want to see their favorite child star’s newest act? Granted, he didn’t understand what was happening.
He was so distracted, he didn’t notice his two biological kids, eleven-year-old Barbie Wire and Blitzo, sneaking behind him. All three kids were on a mission… to steal their ringmaster’s beer. They felt they were old enough to try the forbidden drink and now, they were finally gonna find out why the older imp drank it all the time. So, the plan was Fizz would distract the ringmaster while the twins stole the booze.
Barbie went first, sneaking along the crates, before gesturing to her brother to follow her path. He snuck behind the crates filled with supplies for the show, accidentally knocking over a box of bowling pins. He quickly hid behind a barrel as his dad turned around at the sudden noise.
Okay, the thing I'm trying to say
I will say if you look this way...
Fizz sang as he grabbed the ringmaster’s beard, forcing him to once again pay attention to the child.
“Psst… Blitzo, hurry up! I don’t know how much longer he can do this” his twin whispered, scolding him. Jumping up, Blitzo caught some rope above him and swung across to where his sister was. He did a flip and made a perfect landing on a bag of flour near her. (Too bad dad wasn’t watching, maybe that would have made him proud of me) Carefully, the twins pushed the keg of beer they were after over.
THUD
The twins froze at the loud noise, turning to their dad, only for him to be enthralled at their friend’s performance.
Puzza lasagna
Contorni, limoncello
Fizz was now singing the few Italian words he knew. They had to hurry up, he looked like he was running out of material. The twins jumped up onto the keg and rolled it to the tent's exit. Once they got it outside and out of sight of the ringmaster, Blitzo returned to the entrance, giving Fizz the ‘all clear’ gesture. Mission successful.
So fuckin Bye-Bye
Fizz suddenly finished his song and ran out of the tent, leaving Cash Buckzo both amazed and confused at the strange performance.
*****
“Nice going Blitzo, you nearly got us caught!” Barbie scolded her brother as she punched his arm. They took their stolen prize behind where they keep the hell horses. If anyone saw the keg, they would assume one of the adults brought it for after tonight’s performance.
“Ow! ... Hey, we got the beer, didn’t we? Besides, did you see how I stook that landing!” he asked, proud of himself.
“It wasn’t that great.” his sister scoffed, causing the imp to look down sadly. He thought that he did a good job.
“I thought you did great!” Fizz said, putting a hand on his shoulder, causing young Blitzo to smile at the other imp.
“You were really great too, Fizz. Good thinking bringing out the Italian” Blitz complimented his friend, who beamed at the compliment.
“Ok, enough flirting, you two. Let’s get drinking!” Barbie said as she held up three mugs, handing one to the boys. Once all their mugs were filled, they clanked their drinks together in a toast before taking a sip.
“Blech… this tastes awful. How can dad drink this stuff?” the female imp asked after spitting out her beer.
“I don’t know, I kinda like it.” Blitzo said, taking another sip.
“Yeah, it’s giving me a warm, fuzzy feeling” Fizz said taking another sip of his.
Barbie hesitantly took another sip, this time swallowing her drink. “Hey, you’re right.” she agreed as she took another sip. Once you got over the initial flavor, it wasn’t so bad.
“I think I like beer!” Blitzo said before downing his mug. The other two imp children agreed as they downed theirs as well.
*****
Several drinks later….
“Fffiiizzzz… this was, the best idea you’ve ever had” Blitzo slurred, putting an arm over his best friend. “I loooovvvveeee you bud.”
“Nnnnooo… it was your idea.” His friend slurred back, trying to put an arm on the other imp, but failing. “You… you know what would be cool? If I was a robot…hic…. I could stretch everywhere and shoot fireworks at people!” Fizz said excitedly, finally getting his arm around his friend. Blitzo thought it would be cool to work with his robot best friend. Speaking of friend, he really needed to tell Fizz something important.
“You… you know, you’re my bbbbeeeesssstttt friend. And Barbie’s my friend” Blitz pointed to his sister, who was sprawled on the ground near the keg. “… and this other guy, he’s my friend. He’s a bird and has books. He would be my best friend if he was a horse with books.” Blitzo slurred, hoping Fizz would understand his logic. Fizz didn’t know any birds with books, but he sounded like a cool guy.
“Kids, where are you? The show’s about to start!” They heard the ringmaster call for them.
“I thought…I thought the show was at night? Hey… where’d the sun go?” Barbie slurred from her spot on the ground. “We should… hide the beer, so dad don’t see it.” she suggested, swaying as she got up from her spot near the nearly empty keg, trying to push it away. She pushed the keg from where the spigot was instead of the side so it would roll, causing her to be confused that she wasn’t moving the keg. “Uh, oh. It’s stuck.”
“Maybe we should have one more drink… if its empty, he won’t know we drank it.” Blitzo suggested making his way to the keg. The other two agreed with his logic as they all drank half a mug each, finishing up the keg.
*****
The next morning…
“Blitzo, Barbie. Time to wake up.” The sound of their mother’s soft voice pulled Blitzo, out of his sleep. His head hurt, and for some reason his tail as well. He felt like he was going to be sick. He opened his eyes; it was so bright. With a groan, he rolled over only to throw up. From the sound of it, his sister was dealing with the same problem.
“Here sweetie, this will help.” His mother gave him a glass of water, which he drank, only to throw it back up.
“Momma, I don’t feel so good. Can I stay in bed?” he begged, closing his eyes.
“Yeah, me too?” his sister whined from her bed.
“Now children, you’re not sick. You’re hungover is all. This is what happens when you drink a lot of beer.” their mother gently scolded. Blitzo cracked open his eyes, to look at her knowing face. How did she know? Of course she knows. Momma always knows.
“Now hurry and get up. Your father wants you in the ring” she said as she left.
Their dad wants to see them? ... Uh oh.
The kids slowly got dressed, with Barbie wearing her dress inside out and Blitzo missing one of the straps on his overalls. They slowly made their way to the tent seeing Fizz there looking as miserable as they felt. “I feel like a cannon fell on my head” Fizz whined.
“I feel worse than Blitzo’s jokes” Barbie grumbled loud enough for her brother to hear.
“Oh, yea? Well, I feel worse than you look.” her brother shot back at the insult.
‘We’re twins, dumbass. You look like me.” she fired back.
“There you are!” their dad interrupted the arguing kids before Blitzo could retort. “I am very disappointed in you. Barbie, you’re usually good at juggling, yet you couldn’t even catch a single pin last night.” he scolded before turning to his star. “Fizz, my boy, what happened? That was the worst performance I have ever seen. Did your new act sike you out?” Cash Buckzo asked with a glare. He couldn’t understand why his star did so bad.
“And as for you…” Blitz waited for his turn to get scolded, only to be surprised with a rare smile from his dad “That was the best performance you’ve ever done! What made you think to do that stunt with your tail?” He didn’t know what he did, but that explained why his tail hurt “You’ve impressed me, boy. Keep up the good work and one day you might be better than Fizz” his dad said before glaring at the other hungover boy. If he wasn’t so hungover, he would have beamed at his father’s rare praise.
“Now to make sure you three are in tip top shape and don’t ruin another night’s performance, you’ll be practicing the trapeze.” He said, as he played circus music on the tent’s speakers, causing the children to cover their ears with a groan.
~End Flashback~
That morning, they learned why you shouldn’t do acrobatics while hungover, especially with loud music. Surprisingly, Cash Buckzo never did learn the kids stole his beer and got drunk. He just assumed with all the puking they did at practice, they all caught the flu or something. (Yeah, first time being hungover sucks.)
The mottled imp turned looked at the owl, now sitting under the yellow tree, clenching her head, whimpering as she tried not to throw up. Feeling sympathy now, he pulled up his phone. He got a message from Fizz last night but chose to ignore it for now. Instead, he pulled up his daughter’s number, remembering she had the guidebook with her.
<Blitzo to Looney > 9/20 10:02am: Wat flwr gd 4 sck in glowy plas? 4 via:
He waited for a few minutes before his daughter texted back. Hopefully, she understood what he meant; he didn’t know how to spell. Biolum…whatever.
<Looney to Blitzo > 9/20 10:10am: (image of a blue flower with four petals and red thorns)
<Looney to Blitzo > 9/20 10:10am: chew flower not thorns. They poison:
<Blitzo to Looney > 9/20 10:02am: thnx huny:
He looked around until he spotted the flower Loona showed him. Picking a few, careful not to prick his fingers on the thorns, he brought it over to the owl, shaking her shoulder gently until she looked up. “Here, Looney says chew the flower.” He said, looking away with an annoyed look as the owl took the flowers from him. He looked down at her and had to fight back a laugh. He thought she would rip off the flower part and chew that, but she just stuck them into her mouth, having the stems hang out like a cow eating grass.
After a few minutes, she spat them out, throwing them somewhere behind her. “Better?” he asked.
“Meh” she said. She felt a little better, but not by much. “…Thanks for helping me last night. Sorry I said you were mean.” She thanked him, shocking the mottled imp. She didn’t really remember much of last night after Loona left her to use the bathroom, but she remembered thinking the imp was being mean when he took her home.
“Uh, yeah, sure. No problem” he said as he turned to water the plants nearby. “You know, it’s interesting you tolerate me. Usually, kids hate the guy that causes their parents to break up” he said.
“Sigh… I did for a while. I know dad’s gay, and their marriage was arranged, but still. It’s hard to like the guy that broke your parents’ marriage.” She explained. Since his back was turned to her, she couldn’t see his frown. “But… I see how much happier he is with you than he ever was with mom. You don’t treat us like mom does, so that’s something. And you haven’t tried to make him leave me either.” Blitz turned to the teen now.
“Via, your dad loves you more than anything in the universe. He won’t abandon you and I promise I would never try to make him do that, believe me.” he said, hoping she would. The owl looked at him and nodded like she understood.
“…Is he ok?” she asked him. She hadn’t had a chance to see him since before she went to the party.
Blitz thought for a moment about how to answer her. “He’s sleeping right now, but he was in a lot of pain last night.” he said. He didn’t want to tell her about the way he behaved last night or all the wounds he saw this morning. He saw her frown with worry. “B-but he’s a lot better than he was yesterday” he tried to reassure her.
“He went through a purification when I was little. It was horrible.” she said, remembering what happened last time he had to do the ritual.
“Did… you see what happened?” Blitz asked as he walked over to a small, glowing waterfall to refill his can. Vassago and Stolas said she witnessed a little bit of it before, maybe she knew what happened? Part of him still wanted to know what Stolas went through. Via shook her head.
“I didn’t see, but I heard. I made my mom mad, she put me on timeout next to the door. I heard him screaming. She made me stay there until they were done. That’s when I saw Vassago carry him out. He was so hurt… I thought he killed him.” she said, remembering seeing her dad’s bloody arm falling from the sheet.
Blitz saw red. It was bad enough that he heard Stolas’ screams and saw his injuries, and he’s an adult. But for Via? When she was little??? (That fucking bitch! What psychopath would do that to their own kid? Once I get my hands on a blessed rifle, I’m gonna blow her brains out) he forced himself to calm down, before finally turning back to her.
“Speaking of your mom, why are you here? No offense, but shouldn’t you be with her for all this?” With all the things Stolas had to do, he was surprised he allowed his kid here for this.
“She didn’t want me to be with her while dad did the ritual, and to be honest, the feelings mutual.” The owl said. She cared for her mom, Stella is her mom after all, But Via didn’t love her like she loved Stolas. At least he treated her like a person whereas Stella treated her like an accessory and was only nice to her when in public or if it was convenient for her.
“Well, if you ever want her gone, kid, just say the word. It’s on the house.” he offered with an award-winning smile, receiving a questioning glare from the owl. “…What? I’m trying to be nice” he defended himself causing her to smile.
“Thanks… I think.” She said. He smiled at that. “But please, just promise me two things.”
“Um, ok?” He wasn’t sure what she could want from him.
“First, if you stay with him, please don’t treat us like mom does.” That’s something he didn’t need to promise her, he had no intention of ever doing that to either of the owls.
“Don’t worry. That won’t ever happen.” he said causing her to get up from her spot on the ground and walk over to him. Once she got close enough, she pulled him into a hug, shocking him before he returned it. He was happy. To him, this meant that Octavia gave him her blessing to be with her dad, to be a part of both their lives. Now, he had not one, but two daughters.
“You mentioned two things. What’s the second?” he asked as she pulled away. She looked at him with a smirk.
“If you two ever have a baby, don’t name it Fluffnugget.” With that, she picked up her watering can and left to go back to the water biome, feeling she could handle it in there now.
The imp watched her go, confused at her bizarre request. He never planned on naming any future offspring of his that … but now he wanted to.
Chapter 37: Dumbass
Chapter Text
Meanwhile…
Everything hurt. That’s what Stolas felt as he started to wake up. He felt like he drank acid before being shredded to ribbons. He felt hot, but there was something cold on his head. With difficulty, he forced himself to open his eyes. Everything was blurry and bright with morning light and he could hear shuffling coming from his left. Turning his head, somehow keeping the cold thing on his head, he could make out a red form. As his vision came into focus, he recognized the figure.
“Vas…sago?” he asked quietly, getting his friends attention. Vassago had given him a potion so he wouldn’t wake up while he treated his injuries. Looks like it wore off.
“Stolas? How’re you feeling?” The parrot got up from his trunks to check on the owl.
“Wha…ngh.” Stolas tried sitting up but fell back on the bed as his body was wracked with pain. The cold thing fell off his head and onto his chest.
“Don’t force yourself to sit up. You’ve…been through an ordeal” the parrot said cautiously. (An ordeal? What happened?)
“Here, this will help” the parrot put his hand under the owl’s head and lifted it, bringing the tea he brought earlier to his beak. It was room temperature now, and tasted terrible, but he was so thirsty, he drank several gulps of the awful brew, before the parrot took the now empty cup and set it down again. “Do you need something for the pain?” Vassago asked as he picked up the cold thing (a damp rag, he recognized) and placed it back on the owls head.
“What did Stella do this time? Poison again?” She did that from time to time. Good thing he built up an immune system to most poisons thanks to her. That would explain some of his symptoms, but his body hurt as well, like he had been cut all over. “Did she…. shove me into a woodchipper again?” he asked.
“Stella… didn’t do this.” The parrot said. (If not Stella… then another assassin… Octavia!) Stolas forced himself to sit up, causing him to chitter in pain. It was so excruciating; he nearly passed out. He forced himself to continue. He needed to protect his child.
“Hey now, don’t get up!” Vassago ordered but was ignored as Stolas tried getting off the bed. The parrot wrapped his arms around his friend to keep him on the bed, holding him close so he didn’t hurt himself further. “Calm down, you need to rest.” he ordered gently as he looked at the owl’s face. Stolas’ eyes were screwed shut, pain etched over his face, his breathing ragged.
“…Via?” the owl asked. If he was hurt this bad, he hoped his daughter wasn’t as well. He had to get to her.
“She’s alright, she’s safe.” the parrot soothed, understanding why the owl was trying to move. He waited until he felt the owl relax in his hold before continuing. “I’m afraid I’ve had to discipline her, though”
“…why?” Stolas asked, finally looking at his friend’s concerned face. His Starfire was so well behaved, he rarely had to discipline her. (She didn’t do this, right? She wouldn’t. She’s nothing like her mother.)
“She and Loona went to a party yesterday and she got heavily intoxicated. So, to deter this behavior, I’m having the girls take care of all your plants, except the ones in the restricted area, with no magic.” Vassago explained as he helped the owl lay back down, adjusting him and his pillow so he was reclining in bed. He didn’t mention the possibility of drug use, especially since he wasn’t sure if he believed the mottled imp about Moxxie’s alleged dessert.
“I see… I would’ve had her vaccuum the entire palace with the curtains drawn … Your method works just as well, though” the owl said approving of the punishment.
“I could see that for a second time offense, but for a first time? Now that’s cruel.” the parrot said. Stolas could argue with that. He didn’t want his daughter picking up his drinking habit, after all.
Whenever Stolas did punish his child, he made sure it was a lesson well learned. The worst punishment he’d ever given her was when she was seven. He made her organize and put away all the books in his office (using a ladder for the higher up areas and with his supervision of course) after she climbed the tallest bookcase to get his sextant on the top shelf after he told her she wasn’t allowed to play with it and nearly giving him a heart attack finding her sitting precariously that high up. That day, she not only learned her lesson, but also the joys of the dewey decimal system.
Finally, the owl looked down at his body. His eyes widened, pupils dilating as he took in the bandages on his upper half of his body. His lower half was covered with a blanket, but, judging from the pain, he guessed he had bandages there as well. “What… happened?”
“Sigh…you had mana poisoning.” The parrot admitted, hoping the owl wouldn’t have a panic attack from the memory.
“… a purification.” that answered his question. He was starting to remember the pain and had to force himself to calm down. (It’s over, don’t panic, it's over)
“I’m so sorry Stolas” the owl looked up at his keeper, who avoided eye contact with the owl.
“Don’t be. I understand. You had to do what you did. I am alive thanks to you” the owl reassured his friend.
“The good news is your mana is finally recovering correctly. I checked it not too long ago. It’s back at 11%.” The parrot reassured as he replaced the cool rag on his head. (Well, that’s good at least.)
“Are you hungry? You haven’t eaten for almost two days.” the parrot offered, only for the owl to shake his head. He wasn’t hungry at the moment.
“But, maybe some more tea?” Stolas asked. While the parrots tea was disgusting, he did know what proper herbs to use to make him feel better.
The parrot nodded at his request, making a mental list of what herbs would be good to help break his fever, ease the pain and help with his depression. “Will you be ok for a few minutes?” his friend asked.
“Yeah, I’ll be ok” he reassured. Vassago hoped he wouldn’t try to get up again.
“Try not to move too much. I won’t be long.” The parrot said as he stepped out.
As he closed the door behind him, he turned to see Millie. She was holding a now empty, bloody bucket and a watering can, looking like she got caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to do. Vassago raised an eyebrow at her sheepish look. “What’re you doing?” he asked.
“Um…nothing” she said, trying to hide the supplies behind her. (Maybe she’s taking supplies to the girls?)
“Would you mind doing me a favor?” the parrot asked, getting her attention. “Stolas is awake now. Would you mind staying with him for a few minutes while I get him more tea. I’d rather he not be alone at the moment.” (Especially if he tries to get up again)
“Uh, sure.” she said, setting aside the watering can and bucket before she knocked on the door.
“Come in” she heard the prince answer. His voice was hoarse and quiet, as if he lost his voice. As she opened the door, she tried not to look shocked at his sick appearance or the bandages on his body. (Now I understand why Blitz was so worried yesterday.)
“Oh, hello Mildred.” He greeted with a smile, not expecting to see the female imp.
“Hello. How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been better but thank you for asking. Is there something I can help you with?” He asked, not sure why she was visiting him.
“No, I bumped into Vassago and he thought you’d like some company” she admitted as she walked over to the owl. She thought she saw a look of sadness in his eyes, but it was brief, before he smiled.
“Thank you, I appreciate the company.”
She spotted something on the floor near the vanity. “So that’s why he got it” she said recognizing the seahorse. When she and Moxxie were in here last, they were too focused on the sick owl to take in their surroundings.
“Pardon?” the owl asked her with a confused look on his face, before turning to where she was looking at. All he could see was Seabiscuit.
“Oh, Blitz. He took that plush from an aquarium after we did an assignment. We thought maybe he got it for himself since it’s a seahorse and well, you know how he is with horses.” She explained. The owl smiled at that. (Blitzy does love horses.)
“Did…he come back?” he asked apprehensively.
“Yea, he’s here. He went to help Via and Loona in the greenhouse.” she explained as she saw the owl smile, glad that the imp came back. “He was really worried about you yesterday. We all were.” (Was it really for me, or for your job, I wonder)
“But B, he’s been worried about you for quite a while. But you already know that right? Seeing how he blew up your phone with all those messages. He really missed you.” she continued.
“Actually, I’m afraid I haven’t had a chance to look at my messages yet. I forgot to charge it before the super blue blood moon ritual, you see” he said, looking at his phone on the dresser. She walked over to it. Yep… battery’s dead. Spotting the charger, she plugged it in before she picked up the plush seahorse and placed it back on the vanity.
“Thank you” he thanked her. “You said he was worried about me? I’m sorry, but I find that hard to believe. What we have is simply transactional.” He said looking down dejectedly. (Afterall, he made that perfectly clear after Ozzie’s and my kidnapping.)
Millie looked at him with a sad look. She could tell the prince loved her boss, but she also knew that behind his roughness, Blitz felt the same. If only she could show the prince that. “It’s true. He does care about you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be here. He… has a hard time showing others he cares, it’s how he is. But if I could get your phone working, I’d show you the messages myself. I’ve seen some of them.”
~Flashback~
Eleven days ago…
“Alright, I don’t know about you guys, but I for one hate squirrels!” Blitz said sitting on the couch, holding an icepack to his crotch. Next to him, Moxxie did the same. Loona was smirking at her phone. She came with them on the job and got a video of squirrels running up the boy’s pants. “Good thing Mils pegs you eh, Mox” Blitz teased, receiving a glare from the shorter imp. “Don’t give me that look, at least you get to fuck. Speaking of which…” Blitz trailed off as he tossed aside his icepack.
The taller imp pulled out his phone. Maybe, within the last twenty-two minutes, he finally called or texted back.
…Nothing.
Blitz frowned. He sent a text before pocketing his phone.
“I’m taking the van to Gluttony for a party. Later losers.” Loona said as she grabbed the keys off her desk.
“Hey, how’re we supposed to get home?” Moxxie asked.
“Walk? You could use the exercise fatty” Loona responded as she left the office.
“I am not fat!” he shouted at the closed door.
“So, what’re you lovebirds doing tonight?’ their boss asked as he stood to walk over to the door, turning the ‘we’re closed’ sign.
“We’re thinking of trying that bar on Brimstone Road.” Millie said. “They have a challenge where if you can finish their specialty drink in ten minutes, it’s not only free, but you get free appetizers for a year!” Millie said excitedly.
“This isn’t like the tv deal, is it?” their boss asked. He didn’t think they had that much freezer space for a year supply of food.
“No, sir. It’s not like that.” Moxxie grumbled. He still couldn’t believe he won all those tv’s in a contest he didn’t even participate in. “It’s every time you go there, you get free appetizers for a year.”
“Great! So, when do we leave?” Blitz asked eagerly.
“Actually sir, we were hoping it’d be just us” Moxxie explained.
“Uh huh!” Blitz nodded enthusiastically.
“As in us” Moxxie said as he pulled his wife close to him, gesturing to the two of them.
“Uh huh!” Blitz once again nodded enthusiastically, not getting the hint.
BUZZ...BUZZ…
Before the white-haired imp could say he wasn’t invited, he felt his phone vibrate.
“Hold that thought” Blitz turned to answer his phone. From her spot, Millie could see his face fall for a moment when he saw who was calling.
“Hey, Fizz… no, not yet… I know, I know… ok, that was uncalled for…” she could hear her boss say.
“Psst… honey, let’s take him with us.” She asked her husband.
“What? But Millie…” he started to whine. He wanted to do this challenge with his wife, not his boss.
“Oh, come one. Just look at him” she said, gesturing to her boss. They turned to look at the taller imp. It appeared he had finished his call with Fizz and now was calling someone else, crossing his fingers as if hoping the person he was calling would pick up. They saw his face fall, knowing who he was calling.
“Hhheeeeyyyyy Stolas. So, you still haven’t answered any of my messages yet and I sent you a bunch of shit. So just wanted to call to see what gives? Call me back.” He hung up looking dejectedly at his phone.
“C’mon. Pppplllleeeaaassseee?” Millie asked giving Moxxie her puppy dog eyes, knowing he could never say no to that. He sighed, agreeing with her. Even though he wouldn’t admit it, he was concerned for his boss as well.
“…Are you coming, sir?” he asked reluctantly. Blitz looked up at the couple, forgetting about them for a moment.
“Ah, hell yeah! Let’s get free food!” he said.
*****
The imps made their way to ‘Gullible’: a bar that has been open for less than a year and was said the ‘prices were unbelievable, the food and drinks were intoxicating and of course, the challenge was, well… challenging’.
It was a rundown brick building with cracked windows and a sign advertising the challenge was plastered on the rusty door. The inside looked shabby with dim lights, sticky, dirty floorboards, tiny dirty tables with wooden barrels used as stools set off to the sides, leaving the center of the building wide open and empty. There were two sinners at the bar on the opposite end of the room, but most patrons were off to the side at their own tables or on the floor. There were a few shark demons playing pool in the left corner, and two hellhounds listening to heavy metal music on an old jukebox nearby watching them.
On the right wall next to the door, there was a large corkboard that said 'Dumbasses'. On the board were three photos of patrons who won the challenge: Beelzebub, a sinner that looked like a cat, and a group of four small imps wearing mariachi outfits. All but Beelzebub had a bad photo.
“All right, look alive gang, that’s gonna be us tonight” Blitz said pointing to the wall before the imps made their way to a round table with four barrels in the corner.
Crash
The barrel Moxxie sat on broke, causing him to fall on the ground.
“Yer payin’ for that!” the bar keeper, a male sinner that looked like a giant slug with six arms said, not bothering to look up as he cleaned a glass with a dirty rag.
“What’ cha havin?” a female succubus with her hair in a messy bun and wearing a rather expensive looking, skimpy dress with a nametag that said ‘Vixxie’, came up to the group as Moxxie carefully sat on another barrel.
“We’re doing your Dumbass Challenge!” Blitz said confidently. Millie could hear the collection of gasps around them and swore the jukebox record scratched at her boss’s declaration.
The succubus smirked before turning to the barkeeper. “Oy, Scott! We got some dumbasses here!” she called. The barkeeper gave a sadistic grin before pressing a button under the bar. The floorboards opened up from the center, causing the patrons at the bar to move to the sides as a large glass nearly as tall and wide as the building rose from the ground. Scott hit another button, activating the fire sprinklers. What should have been water raining down was instead alcohol, filling the glass and soaking the patrons. Vixxie and Scott held up umbrellas until the glass was filled with a dark brown liquid.
“Aw, hell yeah!” Blitz looked up at the drink excitedly, while Moxxie and Millie gave an apprehensive look. They carefully made their way up the glass, sliding a little when they touched a wetspot. Once they made their way to the top, the waitress flew up, before handing I.M.P. three tiny bendy straws and pulling out a dingy stopwatch.
“You have ten minutes to finish. If you succeed, you get your picture on the wall of Dumbasses, a year of free appetizers and tonight’s drink on the house. Fail, and you pay for not only the challenge, which by the way is two grand, but a round for everyone here. Got it?” Vixxie explained with a smirk.
“Hey, wait a mi…” Moxxie tried to protest. He didn’t see that rule on the challenge sign, nor did he see where it said the challenge cost that much.
“Go!” the waitress interrupted as she started her timer.
Moxxie put his straw in the drink while Millie just shoved her head in to take big gulps. As she came up for air after three gulps, she noticed Blitz was missing. Did he fall off the glass (it was slippery afterall) or worse bail on them? She could worry about that later. Right now, they had a challenge to win. They didn’t have two grand plus extra to dish out.
She went to put her head back in when she nearly fell into the glass. It was over half empty, but they had just started. She looked down and there, swimming at the bottom of the glass, was her boss, just chugging the alcohol. “Come on honey. Let’s help him.” she shouted as she stole the straw out of his mouth before grabbing him and dove into the booze. They got several mouthfuls of the very strong drink before there was none left.
BBBLLLAAAARRREEEE
The sound of an airhorn and a few impressed cheers (but mostly disappointed whines) from the patrons filled the air. “Six minutes and thirty-two seconds. Congrats. You’re dumbasses” the waitress said disappointedly.
“Woohoo! I’m a dumbass!” A soaked, drunk Blitz cheered before running straight into the glass. The equally soaked and slightly less intoxicated married couple helped him climb out, with him stepping on Moxxie’s face. Once he got to the top, he fell off, landing on his face on the dirty floor before the other two imps landed right next to him. They felt the floor move, causing them to fall as well. Turning around, they watched the giant glass sinking back into the ground as the floor moved back into position,
“Here”, the waitress tossed them three green paper cards that read ‘Gullible: Dumbass’ in big blue letters with the date stamped on the back. There was something in very small print at the bottom, but they couldn’t read it. “Say cheese,” she said pulling out a polaroid camera, taking the groups picture suddenly. Before the photo developed, she went and tacked it onto the Dumbass board.
“Aw, yeah! Bring on the mozzarella sticks. And some hot sauce!” Blitz shouted, waving his prize in the air as Moxxie and Millie went to see their photo. It was a very unflattering photo of the three. Moxxie looked like he was in the middle of a sneeze, Millie had her eyes closed and Blitz looking wasted. Oh well, at least they won.
*****
Several hours later…
“And then, you spell Yyyyyy and then, Zzzzzzzzzz.” Moxxie said giggling, leaning into his boss as he was telling him how to spell with his tongue. Blitz was just nodding along to his lesson. Millie could tell Moxxie was intoxicated. They all were, but she could handle her alcohol better than her husband, and Blitz drank most of the challenge booze earlier, so that was understandable.
While they waited for their food Blitz ordered an Old Fashion while Moxxie and Millie, who felt they had enough for one night after the challenge, ordered a water and ginger ale respectively. Surprisingly when the waitress came back with their drinks, Millie’s drink was a pint of ale with a ginger root in it. Somehow the bar was out of water for Moxxie, so she just gave him some ice cubes.
Eventually, the waitress brought Blitz his mozzarella sticks and hot sauce, while the couple got a sampler platter. Judging by how her husband was behaving, Millie thought there was something wrong with the food. He only had a mozzarella stick and three fried pickles before he started to act intoxicated.
“Uh, ma’am” Millie got Vixxie’s attention as she was delivering some cocktails to a group of sinners. “What’s in this food?” Millie asked. With an eyeroll, Vixxie threw her a menu before walking away. (Well, someone’s pissy.)
Millie looked the menu over. Beer battered fried food, bourbon bacon topping on some of the appetizers and sauces containing alcohol in the ingredients. While cooking, the heat should have killed the alcohol, somehow it seemed even the food was alcoholic. She was starting to see why this place sold ‘intoxicating food’.
“You know, Mox… I don’t tell you this enough. But you are one lucky guy. You’ve got a hot wife that loves you and you’re both vvveerrryyyy pretty” Blitz pulled him closer, causing the smaller imp to giggle. “You, know… what I have with Stols is trans…trans… trains! Yea that’s it! We have trains!” Blitz told him, happy he remembered the word, raising his arms in the air as he shouted ‘trains’, causing Moxxie to fall off his barrel. He landed on his stomach, with his ass in the air, giggling.
“Giggle… choo choo” Moxxie said from his spot on the floor, causing Millie to giggle.
She suddenly had an idea. Pulling up her phone, she started recording her boss. Moxxie will love this. “You like Stolas don’t ya, B?” she asked, teasing her boss. He nodded at her question looking at her.
“He’s such a sweetheart, Mils... But he’s an ass. And he’s got a sweet ass…” He said before getting an angry look and turning around to the other patrons. “Hey! His sweet, feathered ass is mine! You can’t have it!” he shouted accusingly, causing some of the patrons to look at the taller imp before staring at Moxxie’s ass. Afterall, who else would the drunk imp be talking about? “Stupid cocksuckers… trying to steal my owl.” he grumbled as he turned back to Millie.
“Awe, you miss him, don’t ya?” she asked sympathetically. He looked at her with teary eyes.
“I want my birdy back!” he whined before dropping his head onto the table . Millie put her phone away now. This wasn’t funny anymore. “He doesn’t want me anymore!” Blitz said mournfully, his face still on the table.
“It’s ok B. I know you miss him. I’m sure he misses you too.” she reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. He looked up at her as she smiled down at him. “But he’ll talk to you soon. I promise.”
“You know what… I’m gonna… I’m gonna call him” Blitz said as he pulled out his phone and dialed before she could protest. She saw his face light up. “… Feathers! Bout time you answered, asshole!” Millie perked up. He’s finally answered?
“You know… I never noticed before…but you sound a lot like Fizz... well, lemme talk to Stolas, dammit... no, I called Stolas. You called me…” Millie facepalmed. Of course he dialed the wrong number.
“… this many.” Millie heard him say, as he held up two fingers. “I’m not drunk. I’m a dumbass …No, you go to bed!” He shouted at his phone before hanging up. “Ugh can you believe the nerve of that guy?” he turned to ask Moxxie, who was still on the ground, giggling. “I need a drink” Blitz said as he stole her ginger ale.
“I think you’ve had enough for one night B” Millie said as she took the drink back from her boss before he could drink it. “Let’s get out of here, kay?” she said as she threw a few bucks on the table, not trusting the waitress with the bill. She walked around the table to her boss and activated the Asmodean crystal, opening a portal to her and Moxxie’s apartment before pushing him in. He can crash with them for the night. Once he crossed the threshold, she turned to her husband, who rolled over onto his back.
“Mmmiiiilllliiiieeeee!!!... I wanna kiss!” Moxxie reached for her with grabby hands, making a kissy face. She smiled at him before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, causing him to squeal in delight. She picked him up, throwing him over her shoulder. She turned to a bulldog hellhound who had been eyeing her husband.
“By the way, his sweet ass is mine!” she said glaring at the bulldog while slapping Moxxie’s rear, causing him to giggle, before and walked through the portal.
*****
After getting her husband to bed, she went to the living room where she found her boss on the couch, passed out, his phone in hand. She took the phone, glancing down to see what he was doing. It seems he sent Stolas one last message before he passed out. She looked at the more recent messages he sent today.
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/9 1:22 pm : wat u wnt 2 do on fl mun?:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/9 1:25 pm : u evr gna amsr yor fone?:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/9 4:49 pm : (Image of Moxxie clutching his groin in pain, a squirrel tail can be seen sticking out of his pant leg):
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/9 4:49 pm : Por Mox. Ges Mils will hav 2 do the fukn nw lol:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/9 5:11 pm : Dam skwrl bt me 2. U kis bevver?:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/9 8:27 pm : gess wat I a dum ass:
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/9 11: 53 pm : I mss ur swt ass:
She smiled sadly at the last message, before placing it on the end table. (He really misses his boyfriend. I hope Stolas is ok). Throwing on a blanket on him, she turned off the lights and went to join her husband in bed.
~ End Flashback~
“Oh, yea!” Millie remembered the video. She pulled out her phone and quickly found it. Hoping onto the vanity chair, she brought it to the owls face to show it to him. Stolas watched her video, seeing a very intoxicated Blitz.
:“You like Stolas don’t ya, B?” Millie could be heard saying. Blitz nodded at her question.
“He’s such a sweetheart, Mils... But he’s an ass. And he’s got a sweet ass…” He said before getting an angry look and turning around to the other patrons. “Hey! His sweet, feathered ass is mine! You can’t have it!” he shouted accusingly, causing some of the patrons to look at him before they turned to look at something below the imp. “Stupid cocksuckers … trying to steal my owl.” he grumbled as he turned back to Millie.:
Stolas hooted with amusement. (Well good to know Blitzy likes my ass at least).
:“Awe, you miss him, don’t ya?” Millie asked sympathetically. Blitz looked at the camera with teary eyes.
“I want my birdy back!” he whined before dropping his head onto the table.:
His eyes widened at that. Blitz… missed him? The owl started remembering how the mottled imp fed him that ‘cuddles’ soup, how they were enjoying cuddling and talking, and how he stayed with and took care of him the night before the ritual. Maybe he does care after all.
Millie smiled as she saw a smile forming on the owls face, hoping he understood her boss’s feelings. “See he does care. After all, drunk men don’t lie.”
“Thank you, Mildred.” Stolas thanked her with a grateful look.
“Please, call me Millie. That’s what my friends call me.” she said. Stolas’ eyes widened before smiling. He didn’t think the female imp considered him friend but was happy for it.
“Alright. Thank you, Millie” he said.
“…Can I hug you?” she asked. She wanted to reassure the owl she cared, but didn’t want to hurt him further. The imp waited until he nodded and let her gently hug him. He winced at the contact but returned the hug.
Once they let go, he smiled down at her. “I really needed that. Thank you.” There was something he remembered Vassago telling him about her and her husband, and he was curious about it. If they were friends, he figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. “Vassago told me you and your husband had a date in my greenhouse. If you don’t mind me asking, how’d it go?” he asked.
Millie looked at him with wide, sparkly eyes before breaking into a big grin. “It was magical!”
Chapter 38: Gone Viral
Chapter Text
“Note to self. Install A.C..” Blitz to himself as he exited the desert biome. He decided it would be a good idea to do that area after the bioluminescent area so his Looney didn’t die of heatstroke or Via would get too much sand in her feathers. He barely got any watering done before he got too hot and chugged the water in his can. He removed his jacket and wrapped his head with it to protect himself from dry heat, but that could only do so much. Luckily, he found a small, bubbling oasis to refill his can and drink from to keep himself hydrated. After about twenty minutes in the desert heat, he called it good (It’s a desert, the plants will be fine without water) before crawling out of the biome.
He took a huge breath as he felt cool air hit him before collapsing, his jacket falling from his head. A little dramatic, yes. But it was too dang hot in there.
“Um… you ok?” He cracked opened his eyes to see his daughter’s sweet, questioning face looking down at him.
“…Are you…. a cactus?” he asked, panting. The last four Loona’s he saw turned out to be a mirage. He learned that the hard way as he tried to give them all hugs, only for them to be cacti and other rather sharp plants. He hoped he got all the spines and needles off him. This Loona scowled at him before dumping water from her can all over him. Nope she’s real. (That feels nice. She’s so sweet.)
“What happened to you?” He turned he’s head slightly to see a soaked Octavia joining them.
“Too …hot…” was all he said.
“Did you weed or prune the plants in there?” Loona asked turning to the desert area. She saw him go in there not that long ago as she was finishing up the tundra.
“Too hot… to do… shit” he said dramatically as he closed his eyes and rolling onto his back, ignoring the girls’ eyerolls.
“Let’s take a break and get lunch.” Octavia suggested. “You coming, Blitz?” she called over her shoulder as he continued to lay sprawled on the ground.
“Too hot!” he whined again.
“… is he gonna be ok?” Via asked Loona, a little worried by his behavior.
“He’s just being a baby.” Loona said as she went back to him, picking him up by his tail and flinging him into the tundra biome nearby.
He immediately came out wrapping his arms around himself, shivering, a small pile of snow on his head and shoulders. “Cold, cold, cold, cold...” he said causing the girls to smirk at his suffering.
*****
As the group made their way into the kitchen, Blitz perked up as he spotted the white-haired imp at the counter. “Hey Mox… stay back! I have a watering can and I’m not afraid to use it!” he threatened Eris, holding up his watering can like a gun as she leaned close, gurgling at him.
“…You’re gonna water her?” Loona asked from behind him, making him realize what he was threatening.
“No, I’m… Gah! Forget it.” he grumbled, tossing his can to the side as he made his way to the other imp. “So, you done making the ‘you know what’ yet?” he asked discreetly, causing the girls to look at him confused.
“On the table, sir.” Moxxie replied, not bothering to look up as he finished what he was making. Blitz went over to the table to check on the dessert, only to look at it in confusion. They were more of a golden yellow color rather than brown. “Uh, Mox, what’s this?” He asked nervously.
“Blondies” the smaller imp said as he brought a plate of chicken wraps to the table for lunch.
“Blondies? Blondies? I said brownies, not blondies!” Blitz scolded Moxxie. (How could he screw up this bad? And the one time I really needed him to not fuck things up?)
“We were out of cocoa,” he explained as he went to grab a few bags of chips from the pantry.
“Then why didn’t you go out and buy some more?” his boss growled, pointing to the van’s keys on the counter.
“I am not going back to Hellmart for your lie” the smaller imp growled back as he placed the chips next to the dessert.
“Then go to Hymeat for fucks sake!” Blitz raised his voice.
“That’s all the way in Cannibal town and costs five times more than it would at Hellmart!” Moxxie explained as he raised his voice as well.
“How’s that my fault?” Blitz yelled, getting into his employee’s face.
“It’s your idea!” Moxxie yelled back, getting in his boss’s face.
“What’re they arguing about now?” the imps froze at the sound of Vassago’s voice. They turned to see the parrot walking over to the kettle near the sink, filling it with water.
“No idea.” Loona explained, not sure why they were fighting about the dessert and chain stores.
Vassago saw the dessert on the table as he put the kettle on the stove. “I thought Blitz said you were making brownies.” The parrot asked the white-haired imp suspiciously. (whelp…we’re screwed)
“No, your highness. It’s blondies. He’s an idiot when it comes to food.” Moxxie explained, gesturing to his boss. The parrot raised an eyebrow at his statement. Moxxie didn’t appear to be lying. “He once got mad because the Boston cream pie I made was a cake and not an actual pie.” The imp explained, giving a vindicative smirk to his boss, as if challenging him to say something. (Oh, you motherfucker. You are not throwing me under the bus)
“For fucks sake, just admit you suck at desserts.” Blitz scolded his employee, forgetting the parrot was there.
“I do not” Moxxie glared at him.
“Oh, yeah, what about the time you ruinedpudding. It's not supposed to be crunchy!” The taller imp explained, thinking he won this round.
“It was Crème Brulee and it was for Millie!” he growled back.
Vassago rolled his eyes at the pair. (Maybe Via didn’t take drugs afterall) As the water was boiling, he went to the herbs to get what he needed. Along with the herbs for Via, he grabbed some yarrow, borage, bitterroot, moly, amber tree leaves and st john’s wort, placing then in another bowl for Stolas.
HIGH PITCHED WHISTLING SOUND
Via groaned at the sound of the kettle going off, covering her ears at the loud noise. The plant Blitz gave her earlier helped a bit, but her head still hurt, and the loud noise wasn’t helping.
Vassago added her ingredients to a steeper and into a cup to let it steep for a bit. “I hope you learned not to overindulge in drinking, Octavia.” He said, eyeing the owl.
“Yeah, I know. I won’t do it again” she said miserably, watching him take out the steeper an adding a spoonful of honey to the cup.
“Drink some of that, it’ll relieve your symptoms.” Vassago handed her the cup of tea before adding the herbs to another for her father’s. She took a sip with a grimace. However, she did feel a lot better with that one sip.
“Thanks Vassago” she thanked him, now that her head was feeling better.
“Hey Mox, you know burritos are supposed to be hot right?” Blitz asked as he ate his lunch, still on the whole ‘I’m not an idiot when it comes to food’ thing.
“Those are wraps sir, not burritos” the imp scolded.
Now Vassago is convinced Via didn’t take didn’t do drugs and that Blitz is just an idiot. Once Stolas’ tea was ready, he added some honey to it before he grabbed two plates of food and left. Blitz let out a sigh of relief (I can’t believe he actually bought it. I am not an idiot though!)
“Don’t like tea?” Loona asked as she noticed the owl shudder as she took another sip.
“No, I like tea, but he’s terrible at making it.” she explained. At least it made her feel better.
“Really? Lemme try” Loona took the cup from her before taking a sip, gagging at the taste. “Yea, I see what you mean.” she agreed.
“Just don’t give it to Eris.” Blitz said casually as he ate, causing the girls to look at him confused. Why would you give tea to a plant?
“Can I try it?” Moxxie asked. he wanted to see what the fuss was all about.
“Knock yourself out, fatty” Loona said handing him the cup. He ignored the insult as he took a sip.
“Huh… not bad” he said taking another sip. The rest of the inhabitants gave him an incredulous look.
“Wait… you actually like it?” Loona asked.
Moxxie noticed the others looking at him. “…what? I like herbal tea.” He said as he tried handing the owl her tea back.
“Uh, you can have it. I feel better already” she said holding her hands up. She did not want it back.
“You sure?” he asked. she nodded. “Ok, thanks!” he said happily as he drank the tea, leaving the others stupefied as to how he could drink it.
As the group sat at the table, eating their lunch, they were all scrolling on their phones. Blitz decided to read Fizz’s message.
< Fizz to Blitzo> 9/19 8:57 pm : thts gr8. Ozzie says sowwy 4 skarn u. hpe he gets bevver swoon :) :
(That damned rooster better be sorry. But Stolas’ alive and that’s all that matters)
< Blitzo to Fizz > 9/20 12:34 pm : thnx. I tel hm :) :
Moxxie was texing Millie, to let her know lunch was ready so she could join him. He hadn’t seen her in a while, and he missed her so much.
< Moxxie to <3 Millie <3 > 9/20 12:34 pm : lunch is ready? Where r u? I miss u <3 :
< <3 Millie <3 to Moxxie > 9/20 12:35 pm : miss u 2. with Stolas n Vassago. He brot lunch. Its delishus babe :) :
Moxxie smiled at her response, but wished she was with him. Maybe after they were done eating, he’d join her.
While the boys were texting, Via was on Sinstagram, finding friend requests from Lydia, Dennis, Bee, Vortex and a handsome succubus that looked familiar, but she didn’t recognize. She added them all to her friends, before she got a message from Lydia. It was a link to Voxtube. She clicked on the link and her eyes widened at the video. “Uh, oh” (well that explains why my feathers were sticky)
“Something wrong, kid?” Blitz asked looking up from his phone.
“I… went viral” she said, showing him the video titled: Party_Princess
: The camera zoomed in to see Octavia sitting on the discoball, laughing with a bottle of whiskey in her hand. “Someone’s on top of the world” a female voice can be heard saying, before Via stood up shakily and did a perfect backflip into a vat of Beezlejuice. There was cheering all around. “A perfect score! She’s gonna bring home the gold at the Olympics!” the voice said excitedly.:
Blitz looked at the number of views: almost a million views. “Wow… you’re a good diver” he commented. Based on the comments, others agreed with him as well.
“That’s not the only one” Loona said with dread as she showed them her phone. There was another video titled: Owl vs. Bitch.
: Vikki grabbed Octavia by her head feathers. “Fight!” the voice from a fighting video game can be heard.
The camera zoomed in to Via breaking free from the hellhounds grip, a few headfeathers still in her head before the hellhound punched her in the face, scratching her cheek and stumbling back.
“Low blow” the voice said as booing from that game could be heard. The video cut then to Via concentrating her magic before blasting the hellhound into the dessert cart.
VVVWWWOOOOOOMMMM... CRASH
The sound of a laser cannon from a scifi movie can be heard before the sound of a car crash can be heard.
“K.O.’d” the video game voice said before cutting away.
“Winner!” it showed a very zoomed in video of drunk Octavia sitting on the disco ball with her bottle of whiskey, laughing in slow motion.:
The video got over two million views and, in Blitz’s opinion, was way better than the first video. Some of the comments showed pity for the poodle getting blasted by the Goetia, but many others, with a few claiming they were at the party, said the bitch deserved getting blasted.
“Wow… want a job at I.M.P.?” Blitz asked amazed. (Good to know what Vikki looks like. Now I know who to kill)
“Blitz, this is serious. We’re being punished because she got drunk. What’ll happen when Vassago sees these? Or worse, Stolas?” Loona asked. Blitz’s eyes widened as he realized what she was implying.
“Crap, crap, crap! He cannot see those videos!” Blitz started to panic. If he knew his daughter got drunk, what’ll happen to Looney?
“Calm down. Look, he likes you, so maybe you can…” Loona started.
“Sweetie… my dick is good. But it’s not that good.” He interrupted her, remembering the L.A. incident, how he broke down his door in his Eldrich form when Via stole the grimoire. How mad will he be if he finds out about this? “Besides he’s not well enough for that shit. It won’t work” Loona was starting to get nervous now.
“W-well… maybe he’ll understand. I mean he’s pretty chill…” she tried calming him down. “Maybe… we’ll just get a lecture and…”
“I don’t think we’ll get off that easily” Loona turned to Via whose eyes were wide with horror at the thought of her dad finding out.
“O…k... maybe …he’ll just, I don’t know… ground us?” Loona she tried to calm them down, while trying not to panic herself. He’ll definitely punish Via, but maybe she and Blitz will get lucky, and it’ll only be Via that gets punished? Afterall she was the one that was drunk. (Sorry sis, but he’s your dad, not mine.)
“He doesn’t ground” Via said, shaking her head slowly. Thinking of all the punishments he has given her over the years (eight total). The worst was when she was forced to organize and put away all the books in his office. At least he’s not like her mom, she was more physical. Stolas tried to handle her punishments, usually just scolding her with a lecture, but sometimes he wasn’t there to protect her from her mom’s wrath. Still though, she did not want to go through with whatever her dad thought of.
“Fffuuuuuccccckkkkk!!! We’re doomed!!!” Blitz said dramatically before taking a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. “Ok, calm down everyone. We just need a plan. Ok, he’s probably still asleep. Or at least delirious.” He ignored the worried look that Via gave him. “So, we just…”
“Nope. He’s awake and lucid.” Moxxie interrupted, not looking up from his phone.
“Gah!!! It’s over. It’s … hey, wait… how do you know that?” Blitz paused his panicking to look at the other imp.
“Millie’s with him and Vassago. Don’t worry, I told her not to let them know about the videos. Besides I think people will forget them soon enough” Moxxie said as he showed them his phone. There was a video titled: She a Bitch!
:It’s retro, bitch” Vikki said as she got disapproving howls from all around her.
“She a bitch” a small voice, like that of a toddler, said as the frame froze as the Word BITCH appears in big, bold red letters across the screen. Soft elevator music could be heard playing in the background as the video continued.
“You ungrateful losers! This is the thanks I get for dragging you from the trash? Ruffie, you were so fat when we met, you looked like a parade float. You still do.” Vikki was saying to a very skinny Afghan hellhound who looked like she was about to cry. “And Ruffette. For fuck’s sake, either be black or white. No one’s gonna want to fuck you with all those spots, they look like zits” she told a dalmatian hellhound who was crying as Vikki mocked.
“She a bitch” the tiny voice said the frame froze at her laughing at their misery.
The video then showed another clip of Vikki stealing some drugs from two hellhounds, a succubus and a fish demon before snorting and eating their drugs. “She a bitch” the voice said again freezing in the middle of her eating a ‘brownie’ , chewing it with her mouth open.:
Via and Loona scowled in disgust. They recognized the partygoers. The hellhounds were two of her ‘friends’ they saw with the hellhound when they first arrived. They didn’t see the third one, so hopefully she didn’t suffer the poodle’s wrath. (How could she say that to her friends?) As for the group with the drugs? They were the ones who shared their ‘brownies’ with Via.
: The next clip showed her pushing Dennis and Lydia aside to get to Octavia, showing how Lydia crashing into the bar, clutching her side in pain before zooming back to Vikki’s drug induced, angry face. “She a bitch” the voice once again said before jumping to the zoomed in clip of Vikki grabbing Octavia’s head feathers, pulling her head back, before going to a close-up video of her punching the owl. “She a bitch’ the tiny voice said as the screen froze to where here fist collided with the owl's face.
“Mine!” Vikki’s voice was heard as the camera showed her hand grabbing Via’s locket from around her neck.
“She a bitch” the voice once again said, freezing the frame as the necklace was torn off:
Blitz growled at that clip. Even though he already saw the fight, seeing it close up with the owl in pain made his blood boil. His anger grew as he recognized the locket. So, she not only attacked Via, but stole from her as well? How dare she do this to his (not yet, but hopefully soon to be) kid. He could hear Loona give a growl and in the corner of his eyes, saw a soft glow of pink magic manifesting. Seems the girls were angry at the poodle for hurting their friend.
“That’s cuz you are a Bitch” Dennis could be seen with a glare as approving howls at his declaration. The music changing from elevator music to a quiet, more dramatic music.
“Preach it brother!” the tiny voice said.:
(Ok, for being a Dennis, he’s not so bad after all.)
: “Shut the fuck up Dennis” a cake covered Vikki shouted as she threw a cake knife.
“She a bitch” the voice said, freezing the frame as she threw the knife. It then showed Vikki lifting Dennis over her head, ready to throw him as he covered his head with his arms. “She a bitch.”
“That’s enough! You’ve continuously harassed and assaulted my guests, stole from one and lied to my face… I will not tolerate this deplorable behavior any longer! Get. Out. Now!” Beezlebub was saying as she transformed into her Eldrich form.
“ Fine. Verosika’s parties are way better anyway. At least she doesn’t let trash in.” Vikki said to the sin.
“Ooooohhhhh…. Bitch gonna get it” the tiny voice said before jumping to where Vikki was being dangled by the scruff, being brought to the sins face. The dramatic music became rather ominous as the camera zoomed to their faces.
“You. Are. Banned.” Bee said before tossing the poodle into Gluttony’s ocean. Cheers could be heard as the poodle went flying, the music became more cheerful and triumphant.
“Buh bye Bitch!” the tiny voice said as the video ended:
Blitz looked at the views. Almost thirty million. Way more than Via’s videos.
“This is the most recommended video on Voxtube right now. If either one sees this, they’ll see Via being attacked, not drunk, so she won't be punished.” Moxxie explained. “We can also flag Via’s videos. Maybe they’ll be taken down before either one sees.” Moxxie said before flagging the videos on his account. As he finished, he looked up to his boss before flinching away in fear. He didn’t like the look he was giving him.
“Mox, if I wasn’t so scared of what Millie would do, I’d kiss you” his boss said grabbing him by the cheeks, pulling him close to his face as if he really was going to kiss him.
“Please don’t” the smaller imp begged. He did not want his boss’s mouth anywhere near him. Blitz let him go before he pulled out his phone. He quickly found the videos and hit the flag icon.
“Well, good cold burritos, Mox.” He said, ignoring the glare from the smaller imp. “Now if you’ll excuse me...” Blitz said as he jumped from the table.
“Not so fast.” He was levitated in the air by pink magic. "Where do you think you’re going?” Via asked.
“Um, to see your dad?” he said as if that wasn’t obvious.
“Nah uh you still need to finish the desert biome” Loona said sternly, her arms folded across her chest.
“Say, what? I’m not the one being punished for getting drunk” he saw the girls scowl at him.
“You said you didn’t finish in there, so you’re gonna finish what you started.” His daughter scolded as Via set him down.
“But it’s hot in there” he whined.
“Would you rather do one of the other biomes? How about the swamp or the jungle?” Loona asked him.
“Maybe he’d rather do the volcano area or the space one” Via suggested.
“… he’s got space plants?” he asked dumbly.
“Yeah, he’s also got some heavenly plants, but those are in their restricted area.” Via said.
He wanted to see those, but Looney said that area’s off limits… (Maybe later I’ll sneak in there. Just a little peak). Blitz weighed in his options either he finishes the desert, or he starts a whole new area. (Hey, wait a minute… I’m the adult here, I don’t have to do jack shit!) Seeing the look on his face, Loona knew she had to pull out the big guns fast.
“Come on dad. Please help us?” she asked, putting on her big puppy dog eyes. His eyes widened. Loona rarely called him dad or gave him that look. (Must be strong. Must… resist). Via saw what she was doing. Maybe she could help.
“Yeah, please dad?” she copied Loona, giving her best puppy dog eyes as well. Blitz’s eyes widened even further at her declaration.
(She called me dad? She called me dad!) It’s official. He now has two daughters.
“Ok, ok you win” he said as he forced himself to look away from their cute display. “Sigh… fine. I’ll finish the desert, but that’s it, got it?” he said reluctantly.
The girls nodded. At least it was something. “Thanks Blitz. You’re the best.” Via said, making the imp puff out his chest in pride. (I am, aren’t I?)
He decided to leave then before he agreed to do more work. He turned to grab his watering can, gloves and gardening tools. He then went to the freezer, much to everyone’s confusion, and dumped all the ice into his pockets and pants. “What? It’s hot in there” was all he said as he turned to the greenhouse, hissing at Eris as he went by.
“Ok, that was too easy” Via commented, smiling at Loona. Moxxie rolled his eyes at their manipulation.
“So, you want the cave or the grassland?” Via asked as she grabbed her gardening supplies.
“Um, how many areas are there?” Moxxie asked. He’s only seen a small portion thanks to Millie and her blindfold.
“Not counting the main area? Twelve…thirteen if you include the restricted area” Via grumbled, getting a groan from Loona as they left. They weren’t even halfway done.
(I don’t envy them. Guess it’s a good thing me and Millie are helping with the plants in the palace.) Moxxie cleaned up the table, putting leftovers in the fridge, before heading to the prince’s bedroom to look for his wife.
*****
Ninety-three minutes later…
“Too hot… water… water!” Blitz crawled his way to the water biome and dove right into the water wall. It was so cool and refreshing there, way better than the desert biome. He stayed there, taking in gulps of the water he was floating in, until he had to exit for breath. (Ah! Much better) Finished with his soak, he pulled out his phone. He should let Loona know he’s bailing on them now.
<Blitzo to Looney > 9/20 2:42pm: I dun wit dsrt. I go nw ttyl:
Pocketing his phone, he made his way to his guestroom to put on dry clothes before going to the owl’s room. The door was slightly ajar, and he could hear laughter inside. Opening the door, he saw Stolas reclining in bed, Moxxie and Millie sitting on the foot of the bed and Vassago sitting on the vanity chair. All looking amused.
“So then, once Milie saved me from the rollercoaster, we went to look for Blitz. We found him riding on the carousel. He refused to get off, so Millie cut the bars off the horse he was on, and he still wouldn’t let go of it. We ended up carrying him and the horse back home.” Moxxie finished his story, getting another laugh from the group. Blitz blushed with embarrassment at that memory. They were at a crummy carnival with a nice carousel, so sue him.
“Hey, at least I killed the target. He just happened to be near there.” Blitz defended himself, causing everyone to turn to him.
“Oh, sir, how long were you standing there” Moxxie asked embarrassed.
“Just got here.” he said as he joined the group. “Watcha doin?” he asked as he walked into the room.
“Moxxie and Millie were just telling us about some of your jobs. Did you really burn down an entire waterpark just to kill its mascot?” the parrot asked amused.
“Ok, it was one cigarette. Not my fault the water was flammable.” the mottled imp defended himself.
“I could believe that. Afterall L.A.’s water is very acidic” Stolas told the parrot. His voice sounded hoarse and quiet still.
“How you feeling, Stols?” he asked the owl. His eyes were dim and he had a rag on his head. His blanket was covering his lower half, revealing the bandages on his arms and torso.
“A bit better. Thank you Blitzy” the owl smiled gently at him as the imp returned the smile.
“Say Moxxie, didn’t we have that thing we needed to do?” Millie asked.
“What thi…ow!” he was cut off as she elbowed his side. Seeing the look she was giving, he realized what she was talking about. “Oh…oh yeah! That thing. We better get started on that thing.” He said, as he hopped off the bed, helping his wife down as well. “Bye Stolas. Bye Vassago. Sir” Moxxie bade farewell to the other three. Holding his wife’s hand the couple exited the room (Since when does he call them by their name?).
“I should probably clean up the observatory. Will you be alright?” the parrot asked the owl on the bed.
“I’ll be fine” Stolas said with a smile. The parrot returned the smile before giving the imp a nod of acknowledgement as he left, closing the door behind him. Soon, it was just the owl and the mottled imp alone in the room.
Chapter 39: Don't Apologize
Chapter Text
They didn’t say anything for a while, just looking at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move. “Do you, uh, need anything?” the imp asked, breaking the awkward silence.
“No, I’m fine darling. Thank you though” the owl said with a quiet voice as, with a pained grimace, he forced himself to sit up.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Blitz asked as he watched the owl sit up.
“Getting a drink” Stolas replied as he reached for his cup of tea next to his nightstand with a wince. Taking a sip of his tea with a look of disgust on his face, he set it back with another wince.
“I just asked if you needed anything, birdbrain. I could’ve just handed you that” the imp scolded as he hopped onto the bed to take a look at the owl’s bandages not covered by his blanket. Didn’t look like anything was bleeding through, so that was good.
“It’s fine, really.” The owl defended himself as he settled back down with a grimace. “I…”
“No, it’s not fine. You’re hurt”. The imp scolded before taking off the rag on Stolas’ head and placing his hand there, frowning at his temperature. “And you still have a fever. You need rest” he continued scolding as he put the rag back onto his head. It was still cold and damp so it should be ok for a bit.
“But I…” Stolas started, only to stop seeing the imp scowl at him. “Yes Blitzy” the owl said, placating the imp.
“So, up for some cuddles?” The imp offered. He did promise those afterall. The owl looked at him with wide eyes at his offer before smiling and that was all the answer the imp needed. He carefully positioned himself, so Stolas’ head was on his chest, similar to the way they had been the night before the purification. He made a mental note not to mention the ritual. For one, it was a rule (forgot the no touching rule again…oops) and two, he didn’t want Stolas to have another panic attack. That was the last thing the owl needed.
“…why do you smell sweet?” Stolas asked. Millie did say Blitz was helping the girls in the greenhouse, but he shouldn’t smell this sweet. (Still?)
“Oh, um…Eris threw up on me last night.” he admitted, not wanting the owl to know he was the reason for her sickness.
“Was it yellow?” the owl asked apprehensively.
“No, purple.”
“Then you’ll be fine.” The owl reassured, similarly to how Vassago did the night before.
“What happens if it’s yellow?” Blitz asked curiously.
“…you don’t want to know.” (well now I do)
“Will I smell like this forever?” he asked curiously.
“It’ll wear off in a few days”
“Good. Cuz this scent doesn’t exactly scream ‘deadly assassin’. Would be bad for business.” He admitted, causing the two to laugh at his joke.
“So, you were helping the girls with their punishment?” Stolas asked. (Crap! He knows about that?)
“Uh, yeah. Felt that it was too much for them, so I decided to give them a hand.” Stolas smiled at that. His Blitzy was so considerate. “But I do have one request about your greenhouse” Stolas looked up at him.
“O-oh?” (What could he possibly want to change about the greenhouse? He…doesn’t want me to get rid of or destroy my plants like Stella… right?)
“Install an air conditioner in the desert area.” Th owl mentally sighed in relief.
“How about a cooling spell instead” he suggested.
“Oh, alright” Blitz pretended to reluctantly agree, causing them to chuckle.
“So, Moxxie says you went on an assassination and to Hellmart yesterday. How was that?” Stolas asked curiously.
“Before I answer that, did you notice he called you and Vassago by your names”
“Um, yes?” the owl answered, not understanding where he was going with this.
“I’ve never known him to call you by your name, especially to your face.” He said.
“Oh, we told him and Millie they didn’t need to address us by our titles.” (Oh, so that’s why… wait.)
“Millie? Since when do you call her that?” he asked.
“When she asked me to? Anyway…about your day?” he asked again.
“They didn’t give you details?” the imp asked.
“Well, only some… if you don’t want…” the owl began. Maybe he had a bad day and didn’t want to share. He could understand, given how his day went yesterday. (Don’t think about that)
“No, no its fine” Blitz interrupted.” Well, we were hired to kill this one lady and turned out there were three of them. They were identical triplets with the same name but different spelling.”
“Their parents sound very clever” the owl said sarcastically.
“Tell me about it… the client wasn’t very happy we killed all three of them. Don’t know why. From what M&M said, they were all psychos.” He grumbled.
“So they said. Moxxie showed me some of their…creations. Honestly, my Starfire’s taxidermy is so much better.” Blitz had to agree. He had seen some of her work, and they were nowhere near that grotesque.
“I also made a friend there. He’s an owl too. Name’s Lemonade” he said, causing the owl to look up at him in confusion and… jealousy? (Was the video Millie showed me earlier of him missing this Lemonade fellow? No, she said my name… right? When was that video from?)
“The bitch I got… she was torturing him. She broke his wings and cut off his leg. There were other victims there, but he was the only survivor.” He said sadly.
‘Is your friend, ok? “He asked worriedly.
“I think so. We took him to a sanctuary. They said they’ll do what they can, but he will live out his life in a sanctuary or zoo.” He said sadly, getting a sympathetic look from Stolas. (An owl in a cage. Just like me)
“I’m so sorry Blitzy. I wish there was something I could do for him.” he said sympathetically.
“Nah, Lemonade’s a tough bird. Besides, he’ll be taken good care of for the rest of his life. He’ll be ok.” he tried to reassure the owl, scratching him on his head the way he knew he liked. He smiled as the owl closed his eyes and gave a trill as he scratched a sweet spot on the back of his head.
“What about Hellmart? Was that any better for you?” he asked once the imp stopped scratching, hoping the day got better for the imp.
“Oh, I didn’t go with them. It’s Hellmart, you know how it is.”
“Um, I’ve never been there before, so I don’t.” Stolas admitted. (He’s never been there before? Lucky.)
“Well, that’s gotta change. Everyone should experience the low-priced chaos that is Hellmart at least once. We’ll have to go sometime.” he said. From the look on the owl’s smiling face, he could tell he liked that idea.
“So, what did you do then?” he asked
“I… went to visit Fizz. It was… emotional. By the way, him and Oz say get better soon” he told him, frowning as he remembered what Ozzie told him.
If his keeper makes even the smallest mistake or Stolas isn’t strong enough, then… he won’t survive the ritual.
He could have lost Stolas forever. His owl suffered so much and could have died an agonizing death yesterday. And the worst part… he knew it was his fault.
“Darling, are you ok?” Stolas asked as he felt the imp start hugging his head.
“I’m sorry…” Stolas heard the imp say. He craned his neck to look at the imp.
“Whatever for?” What could he possibly be sorry for?
“Your hurt… a-and sick and…”
“Darling, its fi…” he interrupted him.
“It’s not fine!” the imp snapped, startling the owl. He forced himself to relax seeing Stolas flinch.
“Sigh…you could’ve died. You almost died. And it’s my fault.” he said, turning his head away. He didn’t need the owl to see his tears forming. Stolas looked at the distressed imp, not understanding how his condition was the assassin’s fault.
“Blitzy, look at me.” He felt Stolas’ hand on his face, forcing him to turn to the owl. “Look at me” Stolas said a little firmer when the imp didn’t make eye contact. Once he met his eyes, he continued. “I’m not dead” he said gently.
“But you could’ve…”
“But I didn’t.” Stolas interrupted.
“But…” He tried again.
“No buts. I’m alive. Just breath, darling. Its ok. You’re ok.” He tried to calm the imp. “I’m like this because… of the ritual” he said with a grimace, trying to shake the memory of it. (Don’t think about it, it’s over) “A-and that only happened because my mana poisoned me. If anything, it’s my fault.” He tried to reassure the imp.
“No, it’s not. It poisoned you cuz you weren’t healing right. And that’s cuz you got you got hurt and infected by that damned blessed weapon. I should’ve come and saved you when you called. I should’ve told you I visited you at the hospital. I…”
“You… visited. When?” the owl asked with wide eyes at his confession.
"At night, outside the window, but that’s not important.” Blitz dismissed. “The point is, I didn’t come and save you. This wouldn’t’ve happened if I had. So, it is my fault.” He told the owl, hoping that he would understand his logic.
Stolas thought for a moment. Reassurance wasn’t going to work, so maybe something else will. “You’re right. This is your fault, Blitz. How could you do this to me?” He said rolling off the imp with a pained grimace, the rag on his forehead falling onto the imp's chest. Blitz looked away in shame. (He finally understands. I just hurt everyone I care about. He probably doesn’t want me anymore)
“Tell me, did it make you feel powerful binding me with blessed rope, rendering me helpless? Did it feel good when you broke my bones and stabbed me with that blessed knife?” The owl growled at him, causing Blitz to look at him with a questioning look. “You were enjoying it, knowing you could take my life easily and I could do nothing to defend myself, weren’t you?” He continued his interrogation with (what he hoped was) a hate-filled glare.
“Wha… I didn’t do that. Striker did.” the imp defended himself. (His fevers definitely frying his brain.)
“Oh, that’s right, silly me… you think so lowly of me that you hired him to do your dirty work? Tell me, how much did it cost you to give me the ‘royal treatment’, hm?” the owl asked, propping his head on one hand with false interest. “Must have cost quite a pretty penny.” He continued with a look of disgust.
“Now hold on. You know that was your bitch ex that did that.” he defended. (Ok, I should get Vassago and let him know Stolas is delirious.)
“Oh, really? Then if you didn’t hire an assassin or torture me, then how is it your fault?” he asked with a questioning look.
“I…” he stopped talking as he saw the owls relax, turning into a comforting smile. (I hope that worked)
“You didn’t save me, but I understand. You were taking care of your child.” Stolas said placing a comforting hand on the imp's cheek. “But you sent Moxxie and Millie to help me. It could’ve been worse without their intervention. Believe me” he reassured, trying not to think of how he was about to lose his eyes to Stella’s assassin.
“But, but… that bitch wouldn’t have hired Striker if I….” The imp started arguing again, causing Stolas to give him a stern look.
“Blitz, enough.” Stolas interrupted, using his scolding voice as he forced himself to get up, moaning in pain as he lifted his body with his arms, so he was hovering over the imp. “This is not your fault. It’s Stella’s. She’s hated me long before we fucked. It’s not the first time she’s tried to kill me and most likely won’t be the last. Believe me. It’s. Not. Your. Fault.” He gritted out in pain with a stern glare, hoping his message would get through his thick skull.
The imp lowered his eyes, looking away from Stolas’ face, only for them to widen as he saw blood start to soak through the bandages on the owls' arms and chest. “Shit, your ble…”
“Say it.” he interrupted the mottled imp. “Say it’s not your fault.” He ordered, breathing starting to become ragged with pain, arms starting to shake as he was struggling to hold himself up.
“Stol…”
“S-say… it” he said firmer as the pain was getting more unbearable.
“Ok, ok… it’s not my fault.” He tried to placate the owl. “Now just…”
“L-like y-you m-mean it” he stammered out. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold himself up, but he needed the message to get through to the dense imp.
“It’s not my fault.” the imp said, hoping he sounded more confident as he watched the owl relax. “Now lay down before you keel over, asshole” he ordered as he guided the owl back down, making him lay on his back. “You ok?” he asked as Stolas closed his eyes; pain etched on his face as he tried to regulate his breathing.
“Don’t...ever… blame yourself… for things…you didn’t do...Got it?” the owl said, panting in pain.
“Ok, ok I won’t…” he reassured. (Or I’ll try at least)
“…Promise?” He cracked open his right eyes to look at the imp.
“Yeah, fine I promise. But you hurt yourself again trying to make a point and I’m cuffing you to the bed. And I can assure you it won’t be sexy. Got it?” The imp threatened.
“Don’t… give me… a reason to.” the owl said as his breathing regulated. He didn’t think he could do that again anyway. His body hurt so much, and he was exhausted.
He felt the imp get off the bed and heard him scurry away. (Did I upset him that much?) He turned his head to the bathroom as he heard running water from the sink before he saw the imp emerge with a wet towel in hand. He watched the imp put the towel on the vanity chair before he went to the trunks and started opening one.
“What’re you doing?’ the owl asked (He probably shouldn’t be messing with that stuff), seeing the imp take out a half-opened pack of bandages and the sheathed knife that was used to remove the taint in his arm a few days ago. His eyes widened as he saw the weapon. It reminded him of what Vassago had to do for the purification. He relaxed a bit when he saw the imp put it back. Apparently, that wasn’t what he was looking for.
“You hurt yourself with that little stunt of yours, dumbass. I’m changing your bandages.” he said as found what he was looking for: the weird looking scissors used to remove his bandages. He didn’t see the owl’s eyes widening as he practiced a few snips in the air. Seeing the sharp object and feeling the pain on his body, Stolas was getting flashbacks of when the glyphs and seal were carved into him. The imp hopped back onto the bed and put his supplies, except the scissors, down as he went to grab the owl’s left arm, the limb closest to him, only for him to pull it away.
“Y-you don’t n-need to do that B-blitzy. R-really, it’s ok. I-it’s not that bad… Honestly” the owl tried to reassure with a nervous smile, holding his arm away from the imp.
“Quit arguing. You’re bleeding and I’m changing them.” He said as he tried making a grab for the owl’s arm again only for him to scooch away from the imp.
“R-really… I-i’m f-fine you d…”
“Quit being an egg. I know how to bandage a body. I’ve done you before, remember?” he asked. After some of the stuff they’ve done together, it was always handy to have a first aid kit nearby. He reached for the owl again, only for him to, once again, scootch away. At this rate he’s going to fall off the bed.
“D-don’t….” The owl pleaded, pupils dilating as the imp grabbed his arm not too gently and pulled it to him, causing the owl to whine in distress.
“Dammit Stolas! Enough! I’m doing this!” he said exasperated as he ignored the owl trying to pull his arm free, bringing the scissors to the bandages. “Now hold still dammit”
“N-no s-stop... Red!”. Blitz stopped and let go at their safe word, watching as Stolas brought his arm to his body and scooch away until he was at the edge of the bed, looking at him with scared, dilated eyes. He was shaking and his breathing was speeding up. It didn’t look like a panic attack just yet, but he had a feeling that could change at any moment. He set the scissors down on the nightstand.
“Alright, calm down. I don’t got anything, see?” He held his hands up to show the owl they’re empty. He waited until his pupils disappeared and his breathing slowed down a little before addressing the owl. “Now what gives?” Stolas lowered his eyes, not meeting his gaze, as he wrapped his arms around himself. He approached the owl, only for him to flinch as the imp reached for him. Blitz took a step back to assess the situation.
“You really don’t want me touching you… do you?” The owl wouldn’t look up at him but started trembling a little. (He was fine with cuddling a moment ago. What happened? Is he upset with me?) “Are you mad at me for something? That it?” he asked, only for Stolas to shake his head. (Ok, so not that. Then what?)
“Does it hurt? That why you don’t want me touching you? I can get you a pain killer or something. Or should I get Vas and let him do it?” he offered. The owl didn’t respond, only held himself tighter. (What the fuck? It’s like he thinks I’m gonna hurt him or… wait…) He looked back at the scissors, thinking about the wounds littering his body. Looks like he had no choice. He’s gonna have to break another rule.
“Is it… about what you went through yesterday?” he asked, trying to word it carefully to not trigger the owl. He could see tears start forming from his eyes as he held himself tighter, a whimper leaving his quivering beak.
(So that’s it. He’s still not ok. Probably has PTSD or something and I was triggering it. Fuck.) The imp slowly made his way to the owl, watching him as he flinched as the imp approached. “It’s ok, pretty bird. I’m ain’t gonna hurt you, ok?” he said quietly, remembering the rule. “Can I… touch you” he asked waiting for the owl to nod. Before gently wrapping his arms around his owl, petting his head as he held him close.
“S-sorry” he heard Stolas say quietly.
“Don’t be. I should’ve stopped.” He said, before hearing whimpering, feeling tears from the owl. (I really fucked up.) He started his purring, holding Stolas as he waited for him to calm down. Stolas didn’t understand what he was doing, but it was calming him down.
“I’m sorry. I …” He felt Blitz’s hand under his chin, gently lifting his head so he could look the imp in the eyes.
“Hey. Didn’t you just lecture me about not blaming yourself for things not your fault? Try listening to your own lectures, will ya?” Blitz interrupted, throwing the owl’s words back at him, causing a humorless smile to form on his beak.
“Sigh…look, I know you don’t want it, but I really need to change your bandages, ok? I’ll be fast and you’ll hardly feel it. You don’t have to watch or anything. We can just talk if that’ll help.” He offered, The owl reluctantly nodded, knowing he was right. “Ok I’ll need you to come closer to me and away from the edge, don’t want you falling off.” he said as he stepped back and waited for the owl to get closer so he wouldn’t fall off the bed. “Alright, just…look at Seabiscuit for me, ok?” he said as he collected his supplies, hiding the scissors so the owl can’t see them.
He thought about talking about their daughters, but decided not to, lest he accidentally reveal Via’s drugs again, or worse, her videos. “So, did you read the shit I sent you yet?” he asked. There were some things the owl might like.
“N-not yet. I forgot to charge my phone before the lunar ritual. Millie plugged it in not too long ago.” He replied, trying to keep himself calm as he saw the imp set the stuff down.
“Well fair warning, you’re gonna get a crapload of messages. I’m gonna need your arm now, ok?” the owl reluctantly handed his limb over as he turned to look at the plush.
“H-how much is a crapload” the owl asked. The mottled imp wasn’t sure if he should tell him the exact number of messages he sent.
“Oh, you know. Just some texts and few voicemails… by the way you don’t need to reply to them all. I’m gonna cut the bandages off now, alright?” He waited until, with a shaky breathe, the owl nodded. (Don’t look, don’t look)
“I-I don’t know B-blitzy. I-it w-would be rather rude i-if I didn’t respond t-to your m-messages.” He tried to joke as he felt the scissors on his arm, tensing.
“Relax, you’re ok pretty bird. Just breathe. And please don’t. I don’t need my phone blowing up as well.”
snip snip snip
“V-very well t-then. I-i’ll respond to o-only half of them then" he joked, tensing as the scissors cut the bandages and shaking a bit as they fell away. (He must think I look hideous with these wounds.)
“Still doing ok?” Blitz asked. He nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Well good news is it looks like this arm stopped bleeding I’m just gonna clean it up a bit, then bandage you up.” He said as he grabbed the towel. “Via said you got heavenly plants. How’d you manage that?” the imp asked as he wiped the arm with the damp towel. He didn’t know which of Vassago’s potions would clean the wound so he didn’t use any of them, but water couldn’t hurt right?
“I-i have my ways d-darling. Wasn’t easy, though” Stolas said with a wince.
“Is Eris one?” Blitz asked.
“No, she’s a Venus flytrap” the owl said.
“Uh, no she’s not. I’ve seen those before and the don’t look anything like her.” the imp argued.
“They do on Venus.” The owl explained
(Ooohhh… she’s a space plant.) “Can I see them sometime? The heavenly ones I mean” the imp asked as he set the towel down and grabbed the bandages.
“Maybe once I’m well again. They’re in the restricted area and I’d rather you not go in there by yourself. Very few are allowed in there for a good reason.” He said, still looking at the seahorse plush, more than happy that the imp is taking an interest in something he loves.
“Is it cuz they’re super dangerous and will destroy all of pride or something?” he asked half joking, half serious. Stolas gave an amused hoot.
“Not necessarily. Some are dangerous, but not at that level. The reason… is mostly Stella.” He said before going quiet. The imp looked up at the owl who looked like he was lost in a bad memory. He didn’t say anything, just waited for the owl to continue if he wished. “S-she… was planning on giving them out as party favors when she wanted to throw a party in the greenhouse.” he said with a wince as the imp wrapped the bandages. (Don’t panic, don’t panic. He’s just helping)
“She threw a party in there?” he asked incredulously. (There’s no way he’d agree to that)
“N-no, Vassago thankfully put up a barrier before she could. Just u-until we could do something more permanent to keep her out.” he explained.
“Vas did that? Why didn’t you” he saw the owl clench his fists.
“She, um…c-can we talk about something else?” he asked, voice breaking. (The fuck that bitch do?)
“Uh sure… so get this, Moxxie actually likes Vassago’s tea.” He said, hoping that would be a better topic for his patient.
“Strange. Millie tried some of mine earlier and said the same thing. Apparently, it reminds her of her mother’s tea.”
“Seriously? Is it any good?” he asked. He didn’t try today’s brew, and didn’t plan on it, but he was curious.
“Help yourself” Stolas offered.
“Yeah, I’m gonna pass” he tightened the bandages causing the owl to grunt in pain. “Sorry. This sides done. I’m gonna go do the other side, alright?”
“O-ok. C-can I have some tea first?” he asked hoping the herbs would help calm him down and ease his pain. The imp nodded as he grabbed the tea as the owl sat up a bit, taking a few gulps with a disgusted face, before handing back the cup and laying down as Blitz put it back on the nightstand. He watched the imp pick up his supplies and hop over his legs to his other side.
“Speaking of Millie, she said you won a dumbass challenge? What kind of challenge is that?” the owl asked as he turned away, looking at a bookcase, hoping that would help distract him.
“We went to a bar called Gullible. They had this challenge where if you finish their drink in ten minutes you get it free, a year of free apps and your picture on their dumbasses wall. Lose, and you not only had to cough up two thousand bucks but buy a round for the house” he said as he set the supplies down with only the scissors in hand.
“O-oh. Was it a strong drink or something?”
“That and it was huge as fuck. Bout the size of the building.” he explained as he felt Stolas tense as the scissors touched the bandaged limb. “You’re ok, almost done” he reassured.
snip snip snip
“S-so…y-you won then? M-maybe we can go there sometime. I-i might try it myself. O-only if you want to that is” he offered as he heard the snip of the scissors. (Don’t panic he won’t cut me)
“Not happening, feathers” the imp said as he started removing the bandages (Of course. What we have is just transactional) “We’ll have to go somewhere else. I heard good things about Sober on Boozer Street. Might try them.”
“Y-you… don’t want to use your prize?” the owl asked confused.
“Can’t. Gullible burned down.” Blitz explained.
“O-oh?”
“Yeah, that crap hole was saturated in booze. Probably didn’t help they filled their sprinklers with alcohol for their challenge. Was bound to happen” he said nonchalantly as he grabbed the towel to wipe the bloody limb.
“S-so, was it a kitchen fire?” Stolas asked with a wince as he felt the towel in his arm.
“Nope, arson!” The imp said almost proudly. “Apparently, some dumbasses took a closer look at their free apps card with a magnify glass and found in very tiny print that the bar has the right to do anything to the food before serving it. Including, but not limited to mixing the sauce with drugs, poison, and/or bodily fluids, using the foods as sex toys and murdering the customer with their appetizers before serving it.” He said, as if he was just reading the card. “And let me tell you, that place was not worth eight sketchy mozzarella sticks”
“Blitz… you didn’t…” the owl turned to look at the imp with wide eyes.
“Who me? No, never” he said with a totally innocent look on his face. The owl smiled briefly before he glanced down at his arm, and quickly looked away (It’s over, don’t think about it. Breathe, calm down)
“You good?” Blitz asked, seeing the owl pale a bit, feeling him tremble.
“J-just hurry please” the owl begged. (Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it.)
“Alright. Take a few deep breaths for me feathers.” He told the owl, watching him breathe until he calmed down a bit. “Alright, I’m gonna start wrapping now, ok?” the imp told the owl as he grabbed the bandages “So, got any book recommendations?” he asked, not thinking of anything else to talk about. He normally didn’t read them, but hopefully this’ll keep Stolas distracted a bit.
“T-there’s one you m-might like called Grey Beauty. I-it’s about a-a horse’s life t-thought the horse’s p-perspective” Stolas said with a wince, trying to calm down and not think about his arm.
“Seriously? Did the horse write it?” Blitz asked, pausing his wrapping. Judging by the tone of his voice, Stolas knew he was being serious.
“Hoot hoot hoot. No Blitzy. A human wrote it, but I think you might enjoy it still” Stolas hooted in laughter.
“Is it here? On your bookshelf?” he asked excitedly. He really wanted to read the book now.
“No, it’s in the library. You’re welcome to read it if you’d like.” He offered. Blitz planned on trying to find the book later, but right now he had a job to finish.
“I’m done.” He said before tightening the bandage causing the owl to once again grunt in pain.
“Ok… you’ll probably have to sit up for this one. so, bear with me for a second.” He helped the owl sit up, propping him up with a pillow. Stolas looked away as he picked up the scissors, focusing on the seahorse plush. “Just a few snips and that’s it ok?” the owl nodded. “Just breathe pretty bird. How’d you like Moxxies food?” he asked, seeing the empty plates the others forgot to take with them as they left.
“His soup was good”
“Just the soup? Didn’t like anything else?” Moxxie was a good cook, so that surprised him that Stolas didn’t like his food.
“I-I haven’t eaten anything s-since then I’m afraid. Not h-hungry right now. M-maybe later” he answered, trying not to tense as he felt the scissors near his body. (Then why are there two empty plates? Did Vas eat them both or was one for Mils? Either way he’s gonna eat tonight, even if I have to make him.)
“Any requests? I’m sure he’d be more than happy to make it for you” Blitz said as he got the scissors into position.
Knock knock knock
He was about to cut the bloody bandages off when they heard a knock on the door. They turned to see Vassago entering, only for him to stop in the doorway with wide eyes at the scene in front of him.
“The fuck’re you doing?!!” the parrot demanded, starting to focus his red magic in his hands, ready to blast the imp. From where he was standing it looked like the mottled imp stabbed a distressed looking Stolas.
“He reopened his wounds, so I’m changing his bandages” the imp defended himself as he cut the owls bandages while he was distracted by the parrots arrival.
snip snip snip
“And how’d that happen?” he growled while still focusing his magic, eyeing the scissors and seeing how the owl tensed as they cut the bandages. (He better not have hurt Stolas)
“I-it’s my fault Vassago” the other two turned to Stolas. “I… was reaching for my tea and missed. I fell off the bed.” The owl lied, knowing how protective the parrot was of him; he didn’t want him to hurt Blitz.
Vassago glared at the owl, as his magic dissipated. “Stolas, I know when you’re lying. Now what happened?” He demanded.
“We… had a dispute. Just a misunderstanding, n-not like Stella. He didn’t hurt me or anything. It wasn’t even a one, I swear.” he said hastily, trying to placate the parrot as he was glaring at Blitz, who looked up at the owl in confusion. (A one? The hell’s that supposed to mean?) “I…got a little worked up. I did this not him; I swear.” The parrot eyes them both with a stern look.
“Sigh…let me see” he said as he closed the door and walked over to the owl.
“Was this the only area?” he asked, seeing the owl’s chest was still bleeding a bit.
“No, his arms were as well, but the bleeding stopped. I just wiped them with a clean wet towel” Blitz explained, hoping the parrot didn’t think he used any of the potions on him.
“And his legs?” He asked. He didn’t know what Stolas did, but if he reopened the wounds on his arms, he probably hurt his legs as well. He went over to the trunks and grabbed a lavender salve and red potion. It would help clean it a bit and staunch the bleeding.
“Um… good question” Blitz said, not knowing. The owls’ legs were still covered by the blanket. He pulled the blanket back and sure enough, his thighs and knees were soaked through as well. (Dammit Stolas) “Might need another roll of bandages.” He told the parrot who was mixing the red potion with the salve, causing it to turn a navy blue.
“We’ll do his torso first” Vassago said.
“How come you can’t use magic to heal him? Don’t you know any healing spells?” Blitz asked. He could understand the whole mana thing (sort of), but surely these could be healed, right?
“…Let’s just say there’s magic involved with these types of wounds Blitzy. We can use natural magic to an extent help me, but my body needs to heal itself. If too much magic is involved in my healing, I could… hiss …I-i c-could get m-mana poisoning a-again”. The owl explained, looking at the imp and hissing in pain as the salve touched his chest. It stung.
Blitz watched as the parrot checked the owls back as well, before he covered the salve container and grabbed the bandages. The imp glanced back there, noticing that there were wounds on his back as well. (Is there any part of you that’s not damaged?)
“A-are the girls finished w-with the greenhouse?” Stolas asked, trying to distract himself.
“Not yet. I went to check on their progress before coming here. They should be done by dinnertime at the earliest.” He said as he grabbed the bandages.
“Good. Hopefully Via won’t pick up drinking with this lesson.” Stolas answered
“Good news is she behaves like you when she’s drunk.” Well, that’s good. At least she wasn’t like her mother when she was intoxicated.
“Bad news is she’s also an alcohol klepto” the parrot said amused. Stolas winced as he felt the bandages tighten a bit.
“H-how much did she snag?” the owl asked curiously as Vassago finished wrapping his chest.
“According to Loona, alot. Good thing she’s got your liver” Blitz said, getting a questioning look from the birds as Vassago went to cut the owls leg bandages. “Uh… Beelzebub said that last night.” he explained.
“They also brought home two kegs of Beezlejuice.” The parrot said as he felt Stolas tense at the scissors.
snip snip snip snip snip snip
He decided to cut both leg bandages off quickly, since the scissors seemed to be causing his friend’s distress.
“H-how’d they m-manage that?” the owl asked. He could understand a bottle or decanter, but two kegs? Loona didn’t have the grimoire, and his Starfire wasn’t that well versed in portaling for them to sneak that much alcohol.
“Oh, that was Beelzebub. She said they’re party favors” the imp explained as got another questioning look from the birds. “I’m serious. She told me herself.”
“Well, at least they had a good time.” the owl said.
“And she made some friends” Blitz said, remembering the group that helped the drunk owl.
Stolas smiled at that; happy his daughter had a wonderful time yesterday. At least one of them did.
Vassago finished checking the wounds (thankfully, no longer bleeding) before starting to wrap them one leg at a time.
“Are they anyone we know?” Vassago asked.
“Well, you know Beelzebub and maybe her boyfriend, Vortex. He works for Verosika” he said with venom.
“Are you referring to Verosika Mayday? You don’t care for her music?” Vassago asked.
‘She’s his ex.” Stolas explained, causing the parrot to pause and look up to the imp, trying to figure out how he’d manage to have a relationship with a famous popstar, before resuming his task. Once he finished, he looked up to the two.
“Alright, next time don’t do… whatever you did” the parrot warned the pair with a stern look. He received a nod of understanding from the pair before he continued his lecture.
“OCTAVIA!!!” Vassago closed his mouth at the sound with a surprised look on his face, receiving a confused look from the other two.
“Hey, I didn’t know you did impressions. That was pretty good. Do me next!” Blitz complimented the parrot. Stolas had to agree, that was the best imitation of her his friend had ever done.
“That… wasn’t me” he answered.
“GET OUT HERE YOU WRETCHED BRAT!!!” The Goetia’s eyes widened as they heard the voice again.
(It can’t be. She’s not supposed to be here) Vassago and Blitz went out onto the balcony and there, at the edge of the barrier, standing outside a limo, was the source of the sound.
“Crap…the banshee’s here.”
Chapter 40: Stella
Chapter Text
“Stupid fucking vines. I hate plants.” Loona muttered, as she exited the swamp biome, trying to shake off all the mud and sludge and whatever else that was covering her. Screw this punishment. She can deal with Vassago later. Right now, she needed a fucking shower.
“What happened to you?” Via asked. She just came out of the very windy cliff biome and her feathers were strewn everywhere, giving her a messy, poofy appearance.
“I set my watering can down for one minute when this fucking vine stole it. I had to wrestle a fucking plant to get it back.” she said irritatingly trying to get mud out of her ear. “I bit down on it, and the fucking thing threw me into the swamp. I swear it was laughing at me.”
“Yeah, vines are assholes” Via said matter-of-factly as she straightened out her feathers. “Dad says the trick with them is…”
“OCTAVIA!!!”
Loona looked at her confusedly. “Um, what?” she did not understand. Are you supposed to do imitations and trick them?
“GET OUT HERE YOU WRETCHED BRAT!!!” The owl’s eyes widened, and Loona realized it wasn’t the owl making the noises.
“Is that…mom?” The owl decided to go check it out, the hellhound following her.
*****
Meanwhile…
“What do you mean she’s here? She’s not supposed to be here,” Stolas asked worriedly.
(How could she be here? I sent the recording and photos of the assassins’ contents to the council. She should have been arrested by now )
“Leave it to me, I’ll get rid of her.” Blitz said as he hopped onto the banister, whipping out his gun and taking aim. He wanted to the bird bitch to pay for what he put his owls through.
“Get down, you imbecile.” He heard Vassago scold as he was pulled back by his jacket.
“Hey! I had her!” he glared at the parrot.
“You can’t shoot her, although I agree she deserves it.” (Wait, he agrees with me, but won’t let me?)
“Aww, why not? It’s just regular bullets, anyway. Not like it can kill her. Can’t I just maim her a little?” Blitz whines like a petulant child. Vassago leaned down to his face, glaring at him.
“No you can’t. Think about Stolas.” He whisper scolded so the owl couldn’t hear them.
“Pfft. He won’t care. He’d probably enjoy it.” he whisper argued back.
“Oh, no arguing there. But think. What’ll she do to him in retaliation once he’s better? Or worse, if she convinces the council she was attacked unprovoked, her brother could sway them to lift her ban. If she’s back here while he’s still recovering, what’ll happen to him?” he asked, before the pair looked back at the owl watching them from his bed.
(Crap that could be a problem)
“OCTAVIA!!!”
Blitz looked toward the greenhouse from his spot on the balcony. He saw Octavia and something brown following her, heading to the direction of the screeching woman. “I’ll deal with her. You two stay here.” Vassago ordered as he feather traveled out of the room.
Blitz didn’t want the parrot to deal with her himself and normally would argue with him about being away from the action, but he needed to be here for Stolas. Instead, he whipped out his phone and dialed Moxxie.
“Burr…Burr… Sir?”
“Hey Mox, you and Mils better be ready in case Vas needs backup. But keep out of sight, don’t want to cause too much trouble.” He said thinking of the parrots warning.
“Understood. What about you sir?”
“I’m guarding Stolas in case things get messy. Don’t worry, I’ve got that bitch in my line of sight in case she tries anything.
“Got it.”
Blitz hung up before turning to the owl. “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of everything.” He reassured as he went out onto the balcony to watch the scene unfold.
*****
Vassago put a simple invisibility and hovering spell on his recording device and went out to meet the female Goetia outside. He needed evidence of her being here. If this didn’t convince the council, she’s a threat to his friend, then nothing will.
“What do you think you are doing here Stella? The parrot demanded.
“Vassago” she said his name with venom. “Where is she? Where’s that brat?” she demanded.
“You’re forbidden from being here at this time.” Vassago ignored her question. “Leave.”
“Not without… there you are” she stopped as she saw her disheveled daughter approach her with a hellhound nearby. The mystery hellhound looked like they had long brown fur in wet dreadlocks and appeared to be naked.
“Mom? What’re you…!”
SLAP
“Ah!” Via cried out in pain as her mother slapped her with a magic infused hand, causing her to stumble back.
“How dare you disgrace me you wretched girl! This is the thanks I get after bringing you into this world??” Stella demanded.
Via stood up, holding her cheek. “I don…” she trailed off, eyes widening as Stella raised her hand again, only for it to be caught by Vassago.
“Don’t you dare touch her” Vassago growled, focusing on some of his magic in his hand to cause her pain.
“Gah!! How dare you lay your filthy hand on my you wretch!” she said as she wretched her hand free, grasping it in her other hand. “When Andrealphus hears about this…” she threatened.
“Let me guess. He’ll tell the council you ignored your sentence.” He threatened calmly.
Via looked at Vassago questioningly. (What sentence?)
“I’m not leaving without her” she shot back, glaring at her daughter. “As her mother I have a right to…”
“You don’t. Via is seventeen. She’s old enough to choose which parent to stay with.”
“Her parent. Which I am, not you.” she argued smugly.
“That may be true; however, I am the girls godfather and her legal guardian for the time being, seeing as you relinquished your parental rights while Stolas performed the super blue blood moon ritual” the parrot shot back with a glare.
“And a fine job you did. Allowing that brat to get drunk and pick fights. All for hell to see.” She shot back at him. he gave her a confused look, not sure what she was talking about. “Octavia. You are coming with me. Right. Now.” Stella demanded. “I’ve let your whore of a father be too lenient with you. You are going to learn to be a proper Goetia, even if I have to beat it into you” she threatened as she made a grab for her, only for Vassago to get in front of the owl.
“You’re not taking her without her consent.” He said, crossing his arms.
“I wanna stay with dad” the owl said quietly, causing the adults to look at her.
“What did you say?” Stella growled threateningly, seeing the brown hellhound put a paw on her shoulder in encouragement.
“I said I’m staying here with dad. He actually cares about me.” she said more confidently
“You’d rather… hah! Who are you fooling? That imp fucking whore is dead.” Stella said with a smirk.
“He’s… not dead.” Octavia said confused at her mother’s declaration.
“Don’t lie brat. I know he’s dead” she said with a knowing, somehow proud smirk.
“No, I’ve been with him, he’s very much alive.” Stella’s’ eyes widened in shock at her daughter’s declaration, before an angry glare appeared on her face.
“SSSSTTTTTOOOOOLLLLLAAAASSSS!!!! GET YOUR SCRAWNY ASS OUT HERE!!!” Stella shouted.
*****
Meanwhile...
Blitz couldn’t hear most of what was said but he whipped out his gun at the sight of Stella hitting his new daughter. The only reason he didn’t fire was because he saw Vassago seemingly hurt her in retaliation before getting in front of Via for protection.
"SSSSTTTTTOOOOOLLLLLAAAASSSS!!!! GET YOUR SCRAWNY ASS OUT HERE!!!”
He nearly fell off the balcony as he heard her yelling for Stolas.
“Fuck” Blitz heard Stolas say as he turned to see the owl sitting up stiffly, pupils dilating as he heard her screaming for him.
“Hey, calm down, Vas is taking care of it, ok. She’s not gonna hurt you, just lie back down” he reassured as he saw Stolas turn to the side of the bed. "Hey, where do you think you’re going?” he asked as the owl set his feet on the floor.
“Via… I have to…” he trailed off as he tried to stand, only for him to be stopped by the mottled imp.
“Don’t even think about it birdy.” Blitz ordered as he gently but firmly pushed him back down. “You could barely hold yourself up. What makes you think you can fucking stand, let alone walk? Vassago’s handling it. She’ll be ok and then we’ll see our girl real soon.’ He reassured as he forced the owl to lay down, putting the blanket back over him and the damp cloth on his forehead.
“…our girl?” the owl asked amused.
Stolas flinched as he heard her again. “Stay here, I’ll check the situation” Blitz said as he hopped off the bed and scurried to the balcony. “For what it’s worth, she’s just jealous you have a sexy ass and she doesn’t” Blitz said as he turned back to watch, missing the owls blushing smile at his declaration
*****
"SSSTTTOOOOLLLAAASSS!!!"
“Will you shut up?” Vassago demanded.
“Not until I see that imp fucking whore” Stella demanded, hearing a growl from the brown hellhound. “He’s gonna pay for disgracing me from high society and letting his brat ruin my reputation.” She said glaring at his child. As of right now, Octavia wasn’t worthy of being called her daughter.
“He didn’t do anything, so leave him alone.” The adults turned to Via, clenching her fists, focusing her pink magic. “I’m staying mom, whether you like it or not. So, get lost.” she said more forcefully.
Stella’s face turned red with anger (How dare she defy me)
FWOOSH
Stella suddenly blasted the parrot away with her own pink magic, throwing him into the topiary near the palace entrance, before she grabbed Via by the head feathers and started dragging her to the limo. “Start the fucking limo!” Stella addressed the driver.
“Ow! Lemme go! That hurts!” Via demanded.
“Shut up! You’re coming with me to do damage control. I will see to it you never see that imp fucker again.” Stella growled. As she continued to pull her child by the head feathers to the waiting vehicle. “You should’ve been married off and gravid by now, instead you’re disgracing your family by associating with low born just like him. That’s gonna chan…Gah!” she screamed in pain and let go of her child’s feathers as the brown hellhound bit her arm hard enough to draw blood.
“Why you little…” Stella growled as she flung the hellhound off her with force, causing her to crash into the palace wall.
CRASH
The hellhound yelped in pain as she left an indent on the wall of the palace.
“Loona!!” Via ran over to the hellhound as Stella concentrated her magic again, ready to blast the hellhound to smithereens. (That mangy mutt not only bit me but damaged my palace? She’s gonna die)
BANG...BOOM
Just as she was about to unleash her magic, a bullet grazed her already injured arm, causing her to lose focus and blast the fountain near the entrance of the palace that was, unfortunately, not protected by the barrier. She really liked that fountain, her brother had it commissioned just for her.
“KEEP YOUR GREASY FEATHERS OFF MY DAUGHTERS!” she heard a voice say. Looking up, she saw a familiar face on the balcony of her (former) bedroom. She growled recognizing the imp. Now she knew why her whore of a husband wasn’t showing his ass. He was getting it fucked by that imp again.
“YOU!” she growled. “FUCKING THAT UGLY TWIG AGAIN, ARE YOU? SSSTTTOOOLLLAAASSS GET YOUR WORTHLESS ASS OUT HERE!!” she demanded, seeing the imp turn around a moment as if talking to someone, before addressing her.
“HE DOESN’T NEED TO SHOW YOU HIS SEXY ASS!” the imp shouted back.
Stella realized something with his statement. If that imps here, then Stolas isn’t doing his job as a vessel. This could be her chance to sway the council in her favor and finally be rid of him. She whipped out her phone to record him.
Pew
A random bullet hit her phone, destroying it. She was looking at the mottled imp the entire time and he didn’t shoot it. "What the? Who did that?” She looked around not seeing where it came from.
“BWAHAHAHA!” She heard the imp laughing above her, before seeing him turn around as if telling someone what happened.
“YOU WHORE OF AN IMP! YOU AND THAT FUCKING COWARD GET DOWN HERE!” she shouted
“NO! AND I AIN’T FUCKING A COWARD! I’M FUCKING A PRETTY BIRD! AND BY THE WAY, THE SEX IS AWESOME!” Blitz shouted back.
“WHY YOU… HE FUCKING SUCKS IN BED!” she shouted back. Afterall, he would just lay there listlessly, and she had to do all the work until she became gravid and even after whenever she was feeling horny.
“YEAH, I KNOW! AND HE’S GREAT AT IT!” he defended the owls blowjob abilities. Meanwhile, the other residents were listening to the two arguing with different levels of embarrassment and confusion.
“HE’S HARDLY WORTH FUCKING!”
“OH YEAH? JUST FOR THAT, I’M GONNA FUCK HIM EVEN HARDER! AND HE LIKES IT ROUGH!” Blitz challenged back. Maybe not now, but once he’s better, he’s gonna fuck Stolas nice and rough.
“HE’S FAKING IT!” Stella shouted.
“HEY! I KNOW WHAT GETS HIM OFF!” He had no problem doing it.
“HE JUST LAYS THERE AND DOESN’T DO ANYTHING! HE CAN’T GET ANYONE OFF!” she knew from experience.
“YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS CUZ YOU’RE A BAD LAY AND HE AIN’T!”
“HE CAN’T….” Vassago chose to ignore the arguing pair for a moment and focused on the girls.
“Girls, go inside” he told them, who were more than happy to get away from the arguing. They didn’t want to hear this anymore. Via threw Loona’s arm over her shoulder and helped her get inside the palace.
“…AND HE TAKES IT LIKE A CHAMP!” Blitz fired back at Stella’s last insult.
“HIS DOPED-UP ASS…” She started
“If you’re done Stella, leave” Vassago interrupted, not wanting to hear them anymore. Especially Stella. “Or do I need to inform the council of your actions?” Vassago warned from his spot behind the barrier. He was definitely going to show the council the (slightly edited, so not to reveal the sex talk) video, but figured he’d give her a chance to walk away before she incriminated herself further.
“Go ahead. They’ll just love to hear how I was assaulted in front of my own home by a mangy mutt and that imp my whore of a husband fucks.” She said with a vindictive smirk.
“Not as much as how you ignored your ban, assaulted not only a keeper but your own precautionary heir as well as a vessel’s hired protection. The very same vessel you’re banned from being near during his ritual and recovery.” The parrot said with a vindictive smirk of his own.
“Why you…” she growled lowly concentrating her magic.
VVVVVVWWW
She used her magic to propel herself toward the parrot ready to hurt him.
...CRASH… CAR ALARM SOUNDS
She managed to get past the remains of the fountain before she was propelled back, crashing into her limo with enough force it damaged it. “What the?” In a daze, she looked up at the parrot, trying to figure out what type of spell he used.
“BWAHAHAHA!!!” She could hear the imp laughing from above. Glowering up at him, she concentrated her magic again.
FWOOSH...CRASH...CAR ALARM SOUNDS
She blasted her magic at the imp, only for it to bounce back and hit her, not only damaging her car and hurting her, but worse, ruining her brand-new dress. She understood now. The parrot put up a barrier.
“BWAHAHAHA!!!” she could hear the imp laughing again even louder. Stella looked up to glare at the imp, only to see him filming her with his phone now.
“Grr… SSSTTOOOLLLAAASSS!!! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU’RE A DEAD MAN. YOU HEAR?!!”
“YOU HURT HIM OR MY KIDS AGAIN AND I’LL KILL YOU WITH A BLESSED DILDO!!!” Blitz threatened. He didn’t know where he’d get one, but he’ll find one and go all ‘Millie saving her husband from an ambush wedding by killing demons with dildos’ on her.
“That’s it, Stella. Leave NOW!.” She turned to see Vassago transform into his eldritch form, leaving the barrier to approach her. She knew she wasn’t strong enough to fight him in that form. What’s more, unlike her coward of a husband, he will fight back and even kill her.
“You can’t protect him forever, Vassago. He will pay for what he’s done to my reputation. And once he’s out of the way, you’re next.” She threatened as she turned to the limo, using magic to pry off the severely dented door and stepped inside. “Well, what’re you waiting for? You want to fuck that imp fucking whore too?... I don’t care if you’re straight, just drive!” she yelled as the limo started to drive away.
“THAT’S RIGHT, GO FUCK YOURSELF BITCH! CUZ NO ONE ELSE WILL!” Blitz shouted as he flipped off the limo and its passenger as they drove away
Vassago turned back into his normal form, turning off and pocketing the recording device before slowly making his way inside. He did have a rough landing afterall. As he entered the palace, he was greeted by Via and the other IMP employees, save for Blitz. “Are you two alright?” he asked the girls.
"I’m fine. But Loona got hurt.” Via said as she turned to the muddy hellhound.
“Nothing’s broken Vassago. I just checked.” Millie told him. (That’s good)
“Moxxie, Millie will you brew some tea for her?” he asked the pair who nodded. “Use the ginger, moly, arnica, amber tree leaves and sanguine vine thorns from my supplies with that recipe I gave you.” he told them before turning to Loona. “Why don’t you start cleaning yourself up. I’ll bring some bath salts and oils that will help ease the pain.” He told the mud-covered hellhound. (Good, I really need to get this gunk off, it’s starting to harden.)
“What about the greenhouse?” Via asked.
“I think you girls have suffered enough for one day. You can finish up with magic.” Vassago said, causing them to smile. Now it would only take about twenty minutes to finish up.
With that, the group dispersed.
“Um, Vassago?” he turned to see Octavia following him, “You said mom was banned during the ritual, what did you mean by that?”
“Your parents… didn’t tell you?” he asked. He assumed Stolas would have told her by now, or at least Stella would have spun her a tale.
“Dad wouldn’t say, and mom would blame dad. Is that why she’s not here for his rituals?” (of course that’s how it went)
“…Yes”
“What did she do?” She asked.
“… that’s something you need to talk to your father about.” He wanted to tell her the truth, but he didn’t think Stolas would like it if it came from him. But maybe he could convince him later, afterall she was old enough to know the truth.
“Can I see him before I finish the greenhouse?” he nodded at her request, feeling that after Stella’s visit, they both should see each other.
*****
Meanwhile…
Blitz watched the damaged limo drive away feeling like he did a pretty good job with their verbal war. And he got a funny video he knew the owl would like. His smile faltered as he turned and saw Stolas.
He was laying on his side facing the imp, his face covered by his hands, with his body slightly trembling. the rag on his head had fallen off and lay right next to him. As Blitz got closer, he noticed the parts of his face not covered by his hands were a very deep red. (Crap! Did his fever spike?)
“Uh…you ok?” he asked worriedly as he heard what he thought was very quiet hooting. Maybe it wasn't the fever? Maybe it had something to do with his fight with Stella?
“Shit, did I go too far? Look I just…” he paused as Stolas lowered his hand slightly so his top eyes could look at the imp.
“Please tell me she’s gone” he managed to get out. To be honest he was feeling many things. Amusement, mortification, and anxiety to name a few.
“Yeah, she’s gone now” Blitz reassured.
“Are the girls ok?” Stolas asked as he slid his hands further down, revealing his lower eyes now. His face was starting to lose its redness.
“I think so, I saw them head inside.” The mottled imp reassured me.
“Good.” The owl said, moving his hands down completely now.
“Um, question. Do you do drugs?” Blitz asked, remembering what Stella said.
“W-what?” he asked with wide eyes.
“That bitch shouted something about you being doped up. Was that like an aphrodisiac or something she made you take for sex? Did she…you know…” he trailed off. He knew they had to have done that to make Via, but he hoped it was at least consensual.
“I’d... rather not talk about our bedroom affairs. But no, she wasn’t referring to that” he said.
“Ok, so then what? Was she just spewing...” he trailed off as the owl sat up with a grimace.
Stolas looked at the imp. He trusted Blitz, but would the imp still care if he knew just how broken he truly was? “This does not leave the room, understand? I don’t want anyone finding out. Especially Via. Understand?” He waited for the imp to nod, before he looked away. This was hard.
“Sigh… in the vanity, top right drawer.” He said. Blitz gave him a questioning look before going to the vanity. Pulling it open, he saw a pill bottle labeled ‘Stolas’ Happy Pills’. He turned to look at the owl who was more focused on looking at his hands than the imp.
“Those are the decoys. The real ones are in the false compartment in the back of the drawer” he said. Blitz found the spot he was talking about, revealing another pill bottle. This one was labeled with Stolas’ information along with a large word he didn’t know how to even pronounce and a dosage. A real prescription bottle.
“What’s this?” Blitz asked.
“My… antidepressants.” The owl admitted.
“Anti… you’re depressed?” he asked incredulously, looking from the owl to the bottle and back. “Have you taken them today? Does Vas even know about these?” He asked ready to open the container and give the pills to the owl.
“He does. But I can’t take them right now. I might overdose.” He explained. “He’s been mixing herbs in my tea to help with the worst of it though.” he still wouldn’t meet his gaze. (now he knows how broken I am.) The imp put the pills back in their hiding spot before he came up to the owl.
“Did that bitch do this to you? Is she why you need them?” Blitz growled.
“She’s… part of the reason.” The owl admitted.
“Did you start taking them before or after she tried to kill you?” he asked.
“Which time?” the owl asked humorlessly. (Oh, right she tried at least twice) Blitz gave him a hug, feeling him tense for a moment before relaxing.
“How… often?” he asked. He needed to know how much that bitch hurt his bird, how many times she tried to end his life. He needed to know how much he should make her suffer before he killed her.
“Most of the time, it was just verbal abuse, but she would hit me and throw things quite often. She would try to poison me from time to time, hence the fake pills. At least I built up an immune system and developed a high pain tolerance.” He said. Blitz frowned. He used poisons for some of his jobs if clients had special requests, but to replace prescription medicine with poison? Even he wouldn’t stoop that low.
“But other times… it was way worse. She would do horrible things to me. Whether in a fit of rage or because she grew tired of me, it’s hard to say. Sigh…You must think I’m…”
“Don’t say it…. just don’t.” he growled out. “Why didn’t divorce her sooner or fight back? You’re a fucking Goetia, I’ve seen what you did to those D.H.O.R.K. agents. Heck, I would’ve killed her for you if you didn’t want to get your feathers dirty.” he scolded him, causing the owl to flinch at his harsh words. He wasn’t angry with Stolas. He was angry at Stella for putting him through all this. What’s more, he was angry at himself for not realizing the extent of the abuse.
“No, I won’t stoop to her level. And besides, I couldn’t. I had to stay… for Octavia”
“Why stay? You could’ve taken her with you?” Blitz demanded.
“I wanted her to have a normal life, a childhood I was denied. If we were divorced, she wouldn’t have that. And besides, if the courts sided with Stella and she gained full custody, what would’ve happened to my Starfire? Stella would shift her abuse onto my child. I had to stay, to protect her” he admitted.
Blitz remembered what Via told him in the greenhouse, how she was forced to listen to Stolas’ purification as punishment for making Stella angry. That was because Stolas wasn’t there to protect his child. He couldn’t imagine what she would’ve gone through if she was forced to live with Stella and not Stolas.
“So, you suffered all these years by yourself, to protect her?” Blitz asked sympathetically.
“I wasn’t alone. Via has given me the motivation to live. And Vassago has been my rock for years. I’d have been dead or given up a long time ago if not for him. And then there’s you.” He turned to the imp.
“Me? The fuck I do?” He asked.
“You were my first friend and have made me so happy since you came back into my life. You showed me I could choose what I want and fight back for it. So, thank you Blitzy” he said with a grateful smile.
Blitz didn’t know how to respond to that. (I did all that?)
Stolas frowned at the face Blitz was making. (Maybe he’s disgusted with me. Afterall, I’m not as powerful as he thinks I am. He must think I’m a spineless coward) Stolas turned away from the imp. “I understand if yo…mmph” he was interrupted as Blitz grabbed the back of his head and brought him in for a rough kiss. He didn't know what to say to the owl, but actions speak louder than words.
Stolas was startled for a moment, not understanding what was happening before he started eagerly kissing back. Looks like the message was well received.
(I love you)
*****
Meanwhile…
Octavia stood outside of the door, her hand still hovering, ready to knock. She heard their conversation. Her dad was depressed, her mom was so abusive to the point she tried killing him multiple times and the only reason he stayed in that horrible situation was because of her.
She was the reason behind his suffering.
Chapter 41: The Reason
Chapter Text
Via needed to leave, she was just going to hurt him more if she stayed. She’ll go to her room, pack a bag and leave a note before running away. Maybe she can stay with Lydia or Dennis for a while until she can get a job and a place of her own. Maybe Verosika needs an assistant, and Vortex can put in a good word for her. And if not, she could apply for a job at Stylish Occult. She was just turning the corner, already thinking of a plan, when she bumped into Vassago.
“Octavia, are you alright?” he asked, seeing her tears. Her despair turned into rage seeing him.
“You knew, didn’t you?” she demanded accusingly. “You knew she was hurting him, that he was depressed. Didn’t you?” (So, he’s finally told her.)
“Why didn’t you help him? You’re his best friend, his keeper! Why did you let him suffer for so long?!!” she broke down. Vassago looked down at her sadly, before dropping his supplies for Loona and wrapping her in a hug as she cried.
“I tried” he told her. “I’ve done the best I could to protect him, to keep both of you safe. Do you remember all those times you and your father stayed with me?” he asked her. She nodded. They would stay with the parrot a few times a year, just her and her dad. She always enjoyed those visits.
“Those visits were when things got so bad, he had to get you both away.”
~Flashback~
Eleven years ago…
Ring…Ring…
Vassago had just finished reorganizing his glasses collection when he heard his landline ring, smiling when he saw who was calling.
“Stolas. I’m glad you called. I just got…”
“Green…S…Three” Stolas interrupted him. His eyes widened at the code.
They came up with codes for whenever either one was in trouble and needed the others’ help, a way so their enemies would not understand and try to take advantage of the situation. It has helped them in many situations in the past. Color is a known location, (said first in case they couldn’t say the rest due to danger) letters were whatever (or whoever) the problem was, and numbers were severity (on a scale of one to five, with five being worst case scenario). Green meant greenhouse, S meant Stella, and three meant he was really hurt.
“I’ll be right there” Vassago hung up before opening a portal to Stolas’ greenhouse. It didn’t take long to find the owl in the bioluminescent section. His eyes widened in horror at the scene. (This isn’t a three. It’s at least a four.) The owl was bleeding profusely on the ground next to blood covered, activated woodchipper. “Fuck. Stolas, what happened?’ He ran to his friend’s side.
“Stella… wants to… have party. Tried to…(chitter) cut down… for dancefloor. Wouldn’t allow (chitter)… she got angry.” He told him as the parrot took off his jacket to try to staunch the bleeding. He looked around for the bitch. She wasn’t there, but he could see a few of the owl’s bushes and shrubs had been ripped from the ground.
“Let’s get you out of here” he said.
“Via…” the owl said grasping the parrots arm, trying to stay conscious. He didn’t want her to be left alone with Stella, not after what happened several months ago with the black moon ritual.
“Don’t worry. She’s coming with us.” He reassured before blasting the woodchipper into oblivion.
BOOM
It’s not going to destroy any more of Stolas’ hard work. Then, he feather traveled around the greenhouse quickly, making sure there was no one else in the greenhouse. Thankfully, there wasn’t. He conjured a barrier, so no one could enter and harm any more plants. It’ll have to do until they can do a permanent spell to keep her out, just like what they had to do with Stolas’ office and the observatory.
Vassago quickly portaled to his home with his friend in his arms. He took the owl to one of the guestrooms and checked his injuries. Stolas wouldn’t want him to be taken to a hospital unless it was life or death. He didn’t want that type of publicity. Thankfully, nothing looked too deep (guess it was a three after all). Vassago quickly cleaned and dressed the wounds before leaving the now unconscious owl to collect his daughter.
Once he portaled back into the owl’s palace, he heard the one he was trying to avoid. The only good thing about her loud voice was you could always tell where she was. She sounded pretty far away.
“Darling, it’ll be the best party ever!... Yes, of course you can have your choice! Tonight, everyone will leave with whatever heavenly plant they want… Oh no he won’t mind. You know Stolas will do anything I tell him to. It has its perks being the dominant one in a marriage… No, Octavia won’t be in attendance. Parties with children are such droll affairs.” He heard her brag to whoever she was talking to on the phone. (So not only was she trying to destroy his plants, but she’s planning on giving them out as party favors?) He clenched his fists, wanting to snatch the phone from her greasy hands and bash her head in with it. Maybe next time. Right now, he was on a mission.
As he snuck his way to Octavia’s room, he spotted Impington. (At least he’s not on phone duty). The parrot put a finger to his beak as he spotted him. The butler nodded as he took the hint. He was never here.
Nodding to the imp, the parrot made his way to the owlet’s room. There she was, sitting at her round table, having a tea party with some of her toys. He knocked on the door, to get her attention. “Vassago!” She ran to give him a big hug, happy to see her godfather.
Shortly after the black moon ritual, and with the parrot’s blessing, Stolas named him the owlet’s godfather. Should anything happen to him (Stella or her brother) then the parrot would become her legal guardian, regardless of whether or not Stella was still alive. The owl was easily able to trick Stella into signing the papers giving Vassago the title and parental rights if that should happen. Although she found out just a few weeks ago, she didn’t challenge it. No one would believe Stolas tricked her into agreeing to name Vassago as her child’s godfather, especially with her social standing right now.
“Hello sweetheart. How are you today?” he asked.
“Great! Daddy took me to a new spot in his garden. It was all glow in the dark. He called it a bio… bio” she struggled with the big word.
“Bioluminescent?” he offered. She nodded enthusiastically.
“It was so pretty. But mommy came in with something big and loud. Daddy told me to go to my room and he will play tea party with me when he’s done. Do you want to play too?” she asked with big puppy dog eyes, the look she knew no one could say no to. (Curse you for being so cute)
“Maybe later sweetheart. Right now, you and daddy are going to be coming with me for a little while. Ok?” he told her. She nodded. “Good. You can take three toys with us.”
“Can I take my necklace too?’ she asked. He knew she was referring to her locket Stolas gave her on her birthday.
“Of course, sweetheart” he said with a gentle smile. She grabbed her necklace and her toys before he portaled her to his palace. Once they crossed the threshold, he spotted his butler, Pringles. He was a small, transgender imp who looked nearly identical to Impington (they were twins afterall.) He had short, white dyed hair, small black horns, and wore a butler’s uniform.
“Pringles, please take Octavia to the kitchen for a snack. I’ll be right back”, he told him before heading back to Stolas’ palace, to his office. There was one last thing he needed to do. Portaling in the owl’s office, he spotted Impington dusting his bookshelves.
“Lord Vassago, do you need something? I believe Prince Stolas is in the greenhouse.” the butler told him, not sure why the parrot was in here.
“I’m know where he is. I just need to grab something in here for him. By the way, you may want to tell the others not to go into the greenhouse for a while. Stolas’ orders. Also make yourselves scarce for the time being. Something tells me Stella’s gonna be in one of her moods again” the parrot said knowingly. The imp bowed a thanks and left to tell the others.
Once he was gone, the parrot went to the secret hiding spot, a secret hatch blended into the tiles near his desk, grabbing the two duffle bags within. They contained clothes and toiletries for the owls, along with a bottle of Stolas’ pills. Stolas had them packed and hidden just in case something happened and he needed to flee with his child. Once he grabbed the bags, he portaled back home. He thought about going into their bedroom and damaging Stella’s dresses to humiliate her before leaving but decided against it. He didn’t want the staff to incur her wrath. Or worse, have her think Stolas did it and make the situation worse for him.
Once he crossed over, he found Pringles and Via in the kitchen, the owlet eating a large cookie.
“Pringles, will you please take these to the rooms where our guests will be staying?” He asked, handing the bags to his butler who nodded and dragged them away.
“Where’s daddy?” the six-year-old asked worriedly, not seeing her father anywhere.
“He’s taking a nap right now sweetheart. But I have something for you. It’s your birthday present, since I couldn’t come to your birthday party” he told her gently. Her party was last week, and he would have come if it hadn’t been for Andrealphus’ meddling. From what Stolas told him though, since Stella set it up, neither one of the owls had a very good time at the party.
He went to the counter and grabbed a large, yellow present with a blue ribbon. She read the card first, as daddy told her to do, before opening the box. In it was a ‘ My First Taxidermy’ kit. Since she was an artist, he thought she would like to try a new form of art. “Thank you Vassago!!!” she squealed in delight at her present. He smiled down at her as he helped set up the kit on his kitchen table.
*****
Two hours later…
“And you put that there… and done! Good job!” he praised. She smiled at her work. It was a white bunny with a top hat and a tailcoat.
“I thought I heard voices in here” the pair turned around to find Stolas, wearing the lavender sweater and long pants he packed in his duffle bag, watching them from the entryway.
“Dddaaadddddyyyy!” the owlet ran over to him, giving her dad a hug. He winced a little but had a smile on his face seeing that his child was happy and unharmed. “Look what I made!” she guided him to the table.
“Oh, that’s lovely Starfire!” he praised.
“Well, I’m famished. Why don’t I order us something for dinner and we watch a movie. The birthday girl gets to pick.” the parrot offered. The owls agreed as Via was telling her dad how much she loved taxidermy.
“Daddy… what happened to your hands and face?” the owlet asked worriedly, seeing his bandages. At least he was wearing something that covered the rest of his body. Vassago knew he didn’t want her to see the worst of what the child’s mother had done.
“Oh, um… a plant in the restricted area was being very naughty. That’s why you must never go in there” he lied. She seemed satisfied with the answer, before going back to the joys of taxidermy.
*****
Later that night…
Stolas had put Via to bed in her guestroom before the two men left to enjoy a bottle of absinthe on the parrots deck.
“Stolas… have you thought more on the divorce?’ Vassago asked. “Now would be an ideal time to go through with it.”
“Sigh… you know my answer.” Stolas said as he took a drink of his alcohol. “I have to stay.”
“Dammit, Stolas! Just look at yourself! She’s the one that did this to you. It’s not safe for you there.” Vassago scolded.
“It’s not as bad as it looks. I can endure it.” he said looking away.
“She threw you in a woodchipper, all because you said no. What next? She uses holy weapons?” He asked. He knew he was being harsh, but he needed the owl to see reason. “And what about Octavia? What if she turns her anger on her?”
“That’s precisely why I must stay. Why I must endure her abuse… for her.” He finally turned back to the parrot. “If I divorce her now, even if she is given visitations, what will she do to my Starfire if I’m not there to protect her? You know full well what she did to my child during the black moon ritual.” he said, referring to his purification. “No matter what she says or does to me, I can endure it… if it means giving Octavia a normal life and keeping her safe.” The parrot looked at him sympathetically.
“Stolas, you are the strongest, kindest person I know, but you shouldn’t have to endure her abuse.” he told him, placing a hand on the owl’s shoulder, being mindful of the cuts under his sweater.
“One day, I’ll leave Stella and be free of her. But not until Octavia is older, when the courts allow her to choose who to be with” he promised before taking another drink.
“Sigh… promise me this, whenever it gets too much, you come here. I’ll do my best to keep the both of you safe” Stolas turned to him and nodded. “And remember, you don’t have to suffer alone. I’ll always have your back” The parrot said getting a smile from the owl.
“Thanks, Vassago.”
*****
The following week…
“Stolas… care to explain why you deemed it necessary to embarrass your wife last weekend?” Andrealphus asked Stolas rather loudly as he placed a hand on the owl’s shoulder, gaining the attention of many nobles nearby. They were at a party hosted by the Marquis, Naberius. The raven Goetia usually hosted decent enough parties with good alcohol and was one of the Goetia that would normally side with Stolas and Vassago during the council meetings.
“I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about” Stolas said as he removed the peacock’s hand from his body and turned back to his conversation with Vassago, their host, a stork named Shax and the thrush, Caim. They were in the middle of a serious debate about Pluto no longer classified as a planet in the human realm and whether the same principles should be applied to hell. Stolas took a sip of his wine before the peacock was all over him again.
“Come, now, my dear brother-in-law” Stolas scowled as Andrealphus practically draped himself on the owl now, using one hand to turn the owl’s head to face him. “You must remember your inappropriate behavior with your greenhouse party. Not only could no one get in, but you dismissed your staff for the event and had the gall to not even show up yourself. Rather disgraceful if you asked me” the peacock said, getting really close to his face. “Now how do you plan on making up for your horrendous behavior, hm?”
“You are mistaken, Andrealphus. My daughter and I were celebrating her birthday with her godfather last weekend. Stella apparently had plans and didn’t join us.” The owl explained as he pried the peacock off him and went to stand closer to Vassago, causing Andrealphus to scowl at the pair. Vassago nodded in agreement with the owl. “The staff were given time off because we were not home,” He continued, hearing the other nobles murmur to each other. That explained why he wasn’t there, nor were his staff present.
“Now as for my greenhouse, I never gave permission for it to be used to host events.” The owl said looking confused as to why someone would even think a party would be suitable to host in there.
“Quit making excuses, Stolas! You knew I wanted to have a party in there. Why else would you put up a barrier if not to embarrass me more than you already do?” his wife asked smugly. Let him try to explain that.
“Stella, you know I have extremely rare and highly dangerous plants in there, including heavenly ones. And after what happened last week, a barrier was put up to protect them and to prevent anyone from getting hurt like last time.” he said vaguely. Judging from the murmuring from the other nobles, they believed someone tried to steal the plants or a servant got maimed or something. Sounds like they all believed Stolas’ story, he was telling the truth afterall (just hiding certain details he’d rather not share).
Stella sputtered in indignation and stormed away, with her brother giving Stolas a look before following his sister. Vassago brought his wine glass to his beak to hide his smirk, knowing that Stolas won this round as he heard the other Goetia gossiping.
“Did he set her up, so she’d embarrass herself?”
“Come on, this is Stolas we’re talking about. He’s too nice to do that.”
“You know she tried to kill her husband while he was the black moon vessel.”
“After what she did, she isn’t worthy of the title Goetia.”
“I heard she forced her child to witness her father’s purification.”
“She’s definitely trying to hurt that poor owl.”
“She has some nerve. And to get Andrealphus to fight her battles?”
“She told me we would get heavenly plants. Was she planning on stealing from her own husband?”
“Who does she think she is, showing her face here? Hasn’t she disgraced herself enough?”
Even months after her sentencing, Stella was still considered a pariah and her little stunt just disgraced herself further. Sounds like everyone was assuming she was trying to hurt her husband for her ruined reputation.
“Shame he’s married to that wretch. He deserves so much better” Vassago heard Shax say as Stolas excused himself to step away to get more wine from a serving imp. He agreed with the stork (That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him). “I know I’d be a way better partner for him.” (Wait, what?)
“He’s such a remarkable specimen, I’d make him mine in a heartbeat.” Vassago raised an eyebrow at Caim next to him, who was looking at the owl lustfully. He noticed the other two Goetia nod in agreement with the thrush as they gave the owl a similar look.
“You’re one lucky man, Vassago. With you two being so close and all, the sex must be amazing.” Naberius told him as they watched Stolas down a glass of wine after having to deal with Andrealphus, a lecherous grin on the raven's face.
“We don’t... we’re friends. Just friends” he said, only to be ignored by the group, who were eyeing Stolas, who was now downing his second glass of wine, oblivious to the other Goetia’s hungry stares.
Not feeling very comfortable with that group anymore, Vassago decided it would be a good idea to stay close to Stolas and keep him away from those three, lest they try something, for the remainder of the party.
~Flashback Ends~
After that night, He and Stolas worked hard on making sure Stella wouldn’t ever go in the greenhouse again, and as a safety precaution, her brother as well. And to be on the safe side, Stolas moved his heavenly plants in the restricted area. Eventually Stella got back in good graces with high society and the whole black moon ritual incident and failed greenhouse party were all but forgotten, however the rumors of Stolas and Vassago's alleged love affair never went away.
Stolas and Octavia would stay with Vassago a few times a year. Sometimes it was just for fun (they always managed to have fun for the visits, no matter the reason), but mostly because Stolas needed to get them away. They made sure that Via never knew about the extent of the abuse. That was until now.
“I’m the reason he’s depressed. He suffered because of me. That’s the only reason he stayed.” she told her godfather. clutching her locket. Vassago lifted her chin gently, so she would look at him.
“Don’t ever think that. He’s been suffering from depression for a long time, before you were even born. Your mother hurt him, not you. You are not the reason for his suffering. If anything, you’re the reason he’s still alive.” He told her. “It was you who gave him the strength to continue to fight, the will to live. You are the light in his darkness. So don’t ever feel like his pain is your fault, understand?” he asked her.
She nodded and hugged him in thanks, which he returned.
*****
Meanwhile…
Knock knock knock
The imp and the owl were interrupted from their makeout session by a knock on the door. Blitz wanted to shout at whoever was at the door to go away, until he heard their voice. “Dad, can I come in?” (Via) The pair untangled themselves quickly.
“Y-yes Starfire. Come in.” he said as his daughter entered the room.
“Dad!” she cried out, seeing him on the bed, happy that he was alive, but still emotional finding out how much he suffered.
“GAH!!!” he cried out in pain as she practically flung herself at him to give him a tight hug.
“Shit I’m so sorry” she jumped back as her father tried to ease the pain away.
“I-its f-fine ngh …S-starf-fire, j-just … ngh…g-give me a…m- moment.” He gritted out.
“I’m sorry. I’m just glad you’re ok.” she said, taking a step back so she didn’t accidentally hurt him again.
“I get it kid, but just a little bit easier on him, will ya?” Blitz scolded as he checked the owls’ bandages. Nothing bleeding, that’s good at least.
"A-are you a-alright S-starfire?” Stolas asked as he opened his eyes to look at her, only for them to widen as he saw her face. “W-what happened?” one side of her face had a fading bruise with some healing scratches and the other had a very nasty bruise forming that he unfortunately recognized. He’s had to hide them on his own body quite often. (Did Stella hurt her?)
“Um well…” she looked away.
“Did your mother do that to you?” Stolas growled. He had spent nearly twenty years trying to protect her from her mother’s abuse and seeing her marks on his child made his blood boil.
“P-part of it”
“Wait, where’s Loona? She ok?” Blitz interrupted worriedly. He saw Stella blast his daughter but saw her escape. Why wasn’t she here?
“She’s taking a bath. She got hurt and…” his eyes widened at that.
“Hang on baby, daddy’s coming!” Blitz bolted for the hellhound's bathroom, leaving the owls alone for a much needed talk.
Chapter 42: Via's Confession
Chapter Text
(Ahhh… this is exactly what I needed) Loona was relaxing in the bathtub, eyes closed with a gentle smile on her face as she felt the warm water soothing to her tired, aching body.
She took a quick shower to get the mud off her before Vassago came and gave her some bathing supplies that would help her feel better and help with any bruising (apparently Stolas used this stuff regularly, but she didn’t question why). As she was preparing the bath, Moxxie and Millie came to bring her some tea.
She used quite a bit of Epsom salt along with lavender bubble bath. And to make it even more relaxing, she added lavender, eucalyptus and peppermint essential oils to her bath water. There were a few candles lit for ambiance and some relaxing spa music playing to soothe her as well. She wished she had a glass of wine to make this even better, but instead, she had a cup of gross tea. Oh well, at least it made her feel better.
She was so calm and relaxed, she could stay like this forever...
BAM
She sat up in alarm as the door to her bathroom suddenly flew off its hinges, crashing into the sink, causing it to crack. She turned to see her adoptive father in the doorway, a battering ram in his arms (where he got one, she wasn’t sure).
“Looney!” He cried out seeing his startled daughter in the tub. He ran over to give her a big hug.
She saw red.
*****
Meanwhile…
“Is Loona alright?” Stolas asked worriedly, hearing that she got hurt.
“She’s fine, just sore. Nothing broken.” Via answered, causing Stolas to sigh in relief.
“…Why didn’t you tell me?” Via asked, getting a concerned look from her father. “Why didn’t you tell me you were depressed? That mom tried to kill you?” Via asked, tears forming once again.
“H-how did you…?” Blitz couldn’t have told her, and he knew Vassago wouldn’t …right?
“I heard you tell Blitz through the door.” she interrupted. (Note to self, get a thicker door). “Is that why she leaves whenever you do your rituals? Including your routine ones?” she demanded. (So, she’s figured that out)
“I never wanted you to find out. You deserved to be spa…”
“I wasn’t!” He looked at her with wide eyes. “I heard her yelling all the time. Sometimes I even saw her throw things and hit you.” she saw Stolas look at her sadly. “If it was me and her, she would yell and hurt me too” she admitted.
~Flashback~
Five years ago…
Stolas had left to do his duties at the Harvest Moon Festival in Wrath this weekend and Stella insisted that Octavia stay with her for some ‘mother-daughter’ time. And Via, thinking her mother actually wanted to spend time together for once, chose to stay. In reality, the only reason her mother wanted her there was for a tea party she was hosting, inviting some of the more influential nobles and their children. Part of it was for them to socialize with those of rank, but mostly, it was for Stella to sniff out a suitable husband for Via and arrange a marriage for her, even though Stolas had refused to put his daughter through one.
Octavia hated every minute of it. The outfit her mother made her wear was a bright orange dress with a large white belt. It honestly made her look like a traffic cone. She had to endure the laughing and mockery of her peers for twenty minutes before she had enough and went upstairs to her room. She threw off the dress, put on comfy clothes and worked on her latest taxidermy project: three mice chasing a cat. It was almost done when her mother stormed up to her room.
“I have never been more embarrassed being your mother! You were absolutely hideous! Everyone was laughing at me for having such an ugly daughter!” Stella yelled at Octavia.
“B-but… you told me to wear…Ah!” she was interrupted by her mother slapping across the face.
“Do not blame me for your ugliness! It’s bad enough that you inherited your fathers’ looks! The least you could do is put on some makeup to make yourself presentable!” she yelled before taking Via’s project and throwing it at her child, who thankfully ducked in time before it hit her in the face. “What did I ever do to get such a hideous daughter?” Stella bemoaned before leaving, leaving the owl in tears, looking at her now ruined project. Via was just glad her mom didn’t do this in front of their servants, or worse, her dad. She didn’t want their pity.
*****
The next day…
After hearing her mother apologize to someone about Octavia’s horrible appearance at her tea party at breakfast, Octavia decided to do something about it. She snuck into her parent’s bedroom and took some of her dad’s makeup that he had left home while he was away. He wouldn’t mind if she used a little of it, right?
She looked at the tutorial again as she unscrewed the mascara and did her eyes next. She put on as much as possible before turning to the mirror. She stared in horror at her reflection. She didn’t look anything like the succubus in the video.
Instead, her eyelashes were so long it looked like Stella’s, her face was so white and the eyeshadow so heavy she looked like a sad clown painting, and her beak was so red with lipstick that it looked like she just gorged on a bunch of rats. She took the washcloth and wiped her face, ready to try again. She looked at her reflection again and nearly cried. It was even worse smeared. (I really am ugly!)
Knock knock knock
“Starfire, I’m home! I brought you a souvenir from the games.” She heard her dad call from behind the door. (Crap! He came back early!)
“Um, hang on dad, I’m changing” she called back, trying to hide the makeup. While doing so, she accidentally knocked the still open bottle of mascara over, watching in horror as the black liquid dripped down her vanity and on onto the floor.
“Crap!”
“Starfire, is everything alright?” Stolas asked from the other side of the door.
“Uh, yeah dad. Just… ripped my leggings.” She lied as she tried wiping the black liquid on her vanity, spearing it, and knocking over his white foundation powder onto the floor.
“Shit” she muttered. (Dad’s gonna kill me for using up all his makeup.)
“Octavia, what’s going on?” he asked worriedly.
“N-nothing. Just… puberty?” she mentally slapped herself for the terrible lie as she tried scooping up the powder. Maybe she can still salvage it.
“Octavia, I’m coming in...” Stolas said as he turned the doorknob.
“No, don’t…”
Thud
“Ow!” she cried out as she hit her head on the vanity, knocking off the palette of eyeshadow. It fell wells first, causing an even bigger mess.
“What happ…” she turned to see her dad, still in his royal garb, standing in the doorway a small paper bag in his hand. His eyes widened as he took in the mess and her botched makeup job.
“Dad, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to ruin your makeup. I jus…”
“That’s… not mine” he interrupted as he looked at the large bottle of mascara. Her eyes widened in horror as she realized whose makeup she swiped.
“WHERE’S MY MAKEUP??? SSSTTTOOOOLLLLAAAASSSS!!!” They both flinched at the loud noise.
“Octavia, go clean yourself up, I’ll… go talk to your mother” Stolas told her as he set the small paper bag down, before casting an invisibility spell on her mess, lest Stella see it. Then with a shaky sigh, he went to talk to her mom as she went to her bathroom to try to clean up.
“YOU WORTHLESS FOOL!! HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY MAKEUP!!!”
CRASH…SMASH…
The sound of Stella’s wrath could be heard all the way from the girl’s bathroom.
“DON’T LIE AND SAY I MISPLACED IT! UNLIKE YOU, I’M NOT STUPID, I KNOW YOU STOLE IT! NOW GIVE IT BACK, YOU THIEF!!!
CRASH…SMASH…SMASH…
Via turned on her music as loud as she could so she wouldn’t hear, but it was hard to tune out her mother.
“WERE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE SOMEONE YOU WHORE?... HAH! AS IF YOUR SCRAWNY ASS NEEDS MAKEUP! NO ONE WOULD WANT TO FUCK YOUR UGLY BODY, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK DECENT!!!”
SMASH…CRASH…CRASH
Tears rolled down the owl’s face as she heard her parents' fight.
*****
Later that night…
Knock knock knock
“Starfire, can I come in?” She opened the door, to see her father. Her mom had left to go buy more makeup and she hadn’t seen her dad since their fight.
“I’m sorry about the makeup, dad. I promise, I’ll replace it with my allowance and…” she was cut off as he raised her hand in silence.
“Come, sit with me.” he said as they made their way to the bed. She noticed him limp.
“Are you ok? You’re limping pretty badly.” She asked.
“Hm? Oh, um… a hell hog got loose at the games and knocked me off the podium. Just a twisted ankle, nothing more” he reassured her. She knew he was lying; she saw him walking to her mother earlier. He was definitely not limping then.
“Now what possessed you to put all of that on yourself?” (Put on? Not steal?)
“I-I’m ugly and I wanted to make myself look better” she said causing Stolas’ eyes to widen.
“What! Who told you you’re ugly?!! Darling you are the most beautiful young lady I have ever seen!!” He reassured her.
“You’re just saying that cuz you’re my dad.” she said, turning away, knowing he would never say anything bad about her.
“Via, look at me.” She turned her head to him.
“You are beautiful. I know several people that believe that. I can call Vassago and see what he thinks.” he reassured her. She knew he would call her godfather to talk to her. She shook her head, not wanting him to get involved in her drama.
“Those wannabe losers that’re telling you you’re ugly are just jealous that you’re hot and they’re not.” he told her dramatically, causing her to giggle.
“Giggle…Dad that’s so dorky!” He smiled now that she felt better.
“Now if you really want to learn about makeup, I’d be more than happy to teach you.” he reassured as he summoned a small makeup kit and handheld mirror to her bed.
“The key is to make it look like you aren’t wearing any while also bringing out your best features and hiding your worst. Not that we need to hide anything” he said as he traced eyeliner on one of her eyelids. “Also, watching yourself in the mirror as you work helps” he joked as he did her other eye. As he turned to put it away, she couldn’t help but notice the dark eyeshadow he was wearing almost perfectly camouflaging a black eye.
~End Flashback~
Stolas’ eyes widened in horror at her confession. He only knew about what Stella did with the black moon ritual all those years ago and how she would sometimes yell at his daughter if she was in trouble (he would always try to put an end to the yelling right away, even if it meant he would become his wife’s next target), but for her to actually hit their daughter? (How could I have not known? How could I have not seen this coming? My poor Starfire. You’ve suffered so much.)
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have…” he asked her
“I was scared of what she’d do if I did” She admitted as she cried. Stolas pulled her into a hug. (I should have left Stella all those years ago, after the black moon ritual, like Vassago said. This is all my fault.)
“I’m so sorry Starfire. I put you through so much because I wasn’t strong enough to fight back. I swear things will be different; she’s never going to hurt you again.”
“I don’t care what she does to me. I don’t want her hurting you anymore. I don’t want her to kill you” she said. It was bad enough with what she witnessed growing up, but to know her mom tried killing him? She didn’t want to lose him.
“I won’t let it come to that. I’ll make sure she won’t harm either of us ever again” he promised, a determined look on his face. No matter what, he will make sure Stella doesn't hurt his child again.
BAM
The owls turned to the door at the sudden loud noise.
“GET OUT!!!” that sounded like Loona. She sounded angry.
SMACK…CRASH
The owls watched as Blitz went flying past the doorway, flinching as they heard him crashing into a wall, hard.
“…She’s ok.” They heard him call out before Vassago walked near the doorway, looking where Blitz crashed, judging if he should be concerned enough to go over and help the imp or not.
“Um… is everything alright?” Stolas asked worriedly, trying not to get a Stella related flashback.
“He thought it would be a good idea to break down Loona’s bathroom door while she was bathing. She didn’t appreciate it.” Vassago said as he saw the imp get up before turning to the owls. (Yeah, that makes sense)
“Stella wanted Octavia to return with her.” he told Stolas, knowing he would want to know the reason for her visit. “She somehow knew about the party. Octavia, she wasn’t there, was she?” the parrot asked.
She shook her head. There was no way Stella would attend that kind of party, especially one with so many lower born. “Did you recognize anyone there? Her friends? Staff?” he asked. He needed to know why she would come after the younger owl after all this time.
“There… was Impington.” She admitted. They were shocked with her answer. They were so sure he hated Stella, given how she treated him. Why would he tell her Via was drunk? “B-but I was still sober when he left. He was taking my friend Lydia home after Vikki hurt her.” she explained, not wanting their butler to get in trouble. The older two nodded in understanding, with Stolas wondering who Vikki was.
“She also mentioned a fight. Were you in one?” Vassago asked. Stolas’ eyes widened. His daughter was in a fight? (Please let it have been just a verbal debate)
“I think she meant when Vikki attacked me and my friends.” she said, trying to word it carefully seeing her father get an angry look. Someone attacked his precious Starfire. Is that where the slightly healed injury came from? He wanted to see this hellhound so he knew who to kill for laying a hand on his child.
“Did Impington see it?” Stolas asked.
She knew she’d have to come clean. Moxxie’s idea probably wouldn’t have worked anyway. Not with how many views it’s gotten. And definitely not now that her mother knew.
“I think everyone saw. I… went viral” She pulled out her phone and found the videos. She decided to show them She a Bitch first. Hopefully them hating Vikki more will soften the blow for her.
She watched their faces frown and then turn to anger as they saw the hellhound’s deplorable behavior. Her dad looked furious as he watched the hellhound attack his child and steal her locket. If he could manifest his mana right now, he would’ve turned into his eldritch form. Vassago on the other hand, was starting to turn black, an indication he was trying not to transform himself.
“So, that is Vikki?” her father asked, causing her to nod. “And she attacked you? That’s why your mother thought you were in a fight?” Stolas asked in disbelief. How could Stella think she was in a fight when obviously she was assaulted.
“Not…exactly.” she took her phone back and pulled up Owl vs Bitch.
As the adults were watching the fight, Blitz came in rubbing his shoulder. (Ok, note to self. If she’s in the bathroom knock first.) He was going to apologize for breaking the door and sink, as well as the new hole in the wall Loona made from punching him, when he saw the older birds with Via’s phone, frowning as they watched something.
“What’re they watching?” he whispered to the princess apprehensively.
“The fight.” She whispered back.
“Hey, ixnay on the videa’s” Blitz whisper scolded her. They had a plan, and she was ruining it.
“They needed to know why mom was here. Besides, they would’ve found out sooner or later.” she told him before the other Goetia turned to look at her, finishing the video.
“I-in my defense, it was self-defense. I swear!” she told them, hoping it would appease them enough so she wouldn’t get in too much trouble as she waited for her dad’s judgement.
“You blasted her with that much magic?” he asked. She nodded sheepishly, only to be confused when a proud smile appeared on his face. “Darling that’s the best manifestation of magic you’ve ever done!” Everyone gave the owl a confused look at his praise. “Tell me, how’d you do it? What were you thinking of to get that much power?” he asked excitedly.
“Um, well... she was insulting you, so I blasted her to get her to shut up.” Via explained, confused that she wasn’t in trouble for assaulting someone with magic. She was even more confused when her dad frowned at her explanation.
“Was that the reason for the fight? Because someone insulted me? Did you throw the first punch?” he asked seriously. This video was clearly edited, so he didn’t know if Via started the fight. Stolas was used to having people (Stella) insult him, so to him, that didn’t seem like a good reason to pick fights. Meanwhile, Blitz didn’t understand why that would upset Stolas. He thought defending the owls honor was a good enough reason to blast that bitch.
“No Vikki attacked her first. She accused Via of breaking her phone.” They turned to see Loona, clean and in a purple bathrobe, a towel on her head, holding the tea M&M brewed for her.
“My baby girl!” Blitz ran over to her for a hug, only for her to growl threateningly at him. She was still mad at him for what he just did while she was taking a bath. Knowing she would probably throw him off the balcony, he slowly backed away from his still upset daughter.
“Did you break this hellhounds phone?” Stolas asked his daughter suspiciously.
“I didn’t even touch her phone!” Via defended herself.
“That’s not what I asked” Stolas said sternly.
“I may have used a little magic to destroy her battery and SD card’ she admitted sheepishly, causing the hellhound to look at her in shock (when did she do that?)
“Octavia” he was using his scolding voice. Blitz winced in sympathy. (Uh oh, someone’s gonna get a lecture)
“She was showing really bad pics of Loona and Blitz. And I mean really bad. I just made it so she would stop.” She defended.
“It couldn’t have been that bad kid” Blitz said, siding with Stolas. He didn’t even know this Vikki, so maybe she had pics from his Sinstagram account.
“They were from the party with your drinking contest with Bee. After you beat her.” Loona told him. (Blitzy beat the sin of gluttony in a drinking contest?)
“Wha...oh!” He cringed at what his drunk self did. Not his proudest moment and something he didn’t need Stolas to know about. “Yea, I take it back, those were bad” he decided to side with the princess on this round afterall, happy she was defending his honor.
“I see. So, you did this to protect those you care about?” she nodded. “I am very proud of you for doing that Starfire.” he smiled, causing her to relax a little. Guess she wasn’t in trouble for this at least.
“However, if I find out you were picking fights again, you are organizing and putting away all the books in the library. With no magic. Understand?” he told her sternly. Blitz and Via gulped nervously before nodding. The imp had seen the library before, finding Stolas in there from time to time. There were like a bajillion of books in there. And he knew that he’d end up getting roped into helping her, just like with the greenhouse.
“Now then, were there any other videos?” he asked. She already showed two, surely there weren’t any others.
“…just one” she pulled up Party_Princess and handed her phone back to him. She decided now would be a good time to hide behind Blitz. Surely her dad’s lover will protect her from his wrath.
Stolas’ face remained expressionless as he watched the video while Vassago frowned (That would explain why she was covered in Beezlejuice last night). Finally, as the video ended, Stolas turned to his child, who was now hiding behind Blitz, using him as a shield.
“… you did that while intoxicated?” he asked her as she nodded slowly, before hiding behind the imp even further. “That’s impressive!” (Wait, what?) “Where did you learn to dive like that? And how’d you even manage to get up there?” he asked, impressed. The closest he’d seen her dive was a cannonball in their pool and he didn’t think she would be coordinated enough to feather travel onto the disco ball.
“Don’t encourage her!” Vassago and Blitz scolded the owl simultaneously.
“I’m not. I’m just enquiring.” He defended.
“Um… I don’t really know how I managed to do that. You’re… not mad?” Via asked poking her head out of her hiding spot.
“Oh, I’m very disappointed that you got that way. However, Vassago has assured me that you’ve been punished enough.” He said, causing her to sigh in relief. “Now was there anything else that I should be aware of?” he asked.
“Erm…no.” she said not meeting his eyes. Loona decided now would be a good time to hide behind Blitz as well, (planning on throwing him at the owl before taking Via and making a break for the door if needed be) as he gave the girls a stern look.
“What happened?” he demanded.
“S-she was just giving us trouble going to bed last night. She knocked me into Eris’ pot and the weed tried to eat me.” The imp came to her defense. Stolas does not need to know about the drugs. He really didn’t want to organize the library.
“Wait, really? But she likes you.” Stolas said tilting his head in confusion. He couldn’t see anything missing body parts or severe injuries.
“She wasn’t eating. She was cuddling” Vassago told him as Stolas nodded in understanding. “Speaking of which, I believe you still need to finish the greenhouse.” Vassago told the teen owl.
“Hey, can’t you give them a break. I mean, she’s a teenager, they make dumb mistakes all the time. Don’t you remember all the crazy shit you did as teen?” Blitz asked the parrot.
“It’s ok, he’s letting me use magic to finish up” she told the imp. He relaxed a bit at that.
“Speaking of which, Vassago, can you take care of the restricted area?” Stolas asked the parrot who nodded.
“Can I see it too?” Blitz asked the owl. He really wanted to see why it was forbidden, and he definitely wanted to see those heavenly plants.
“I don’t…”
“Come on, pretty please?” he asked, giving the owl his puppy dog eyes, knowing Stolas could never say no to that look.
“Sigh… only if Vassago consents to it” the owl reluctantly agreed.
“Only if you do exactly as I say. Got it?” Vassago told him sternly, getting a smile from the imp.
“Thanks, Stols, you’re the best!” the imp said running over to the owl before hopping onto the bed and kissing the owl’s cheek, causing him to blush as the two birds and imp left, leaving him alone with the hellhound.
Chapter 43: If You Hurt Him, You're Plant Food
Chapter Text
“So, are you feeling alright?" Stolas asked the hellhound once they were alone. He didn’t see any bandages on her, so that was a plus.
“Yeah, just a little sore, but I’ve dealt with worse.” She reassured “The tea helps, even if it tastes like crap” she said, taking a sip and gagging as if making a point.
“I know what you mean, “he agreed as he took a sip of his own tea and made a face. Maybe someday Vassago will actually make a good tasting herbal tea. It was wishful thinking, but you never know.
“What about you? You feeling ok?” she asked taking note of his appearance. He looked better than he did yesterday before they left for Gluttony, but the bandages adorning his body did look concerning.
“I’ve been better. You don’t wish to go with the others?” he asked.
“Hell no. After that stupid vine threw me in the swamp, I don’t want to see another plant for a while” Loona grumbled, causing the owl to hoot in amusement.
“Yes, they can be finicky. The trick is to distract them enough to get your work done.” he told her before cupping his hands as if holding something “Act like you have something they would want, like food or a shiny rock, and pretend you’re throwing it. Then, while they look around for it, you can go about your business. That usually works for me. Unless, of course, they’re horny, then there’s no reasoning with them.” he said remembering the sanguine vine incident.
“Wait, they can get horny?” Loona asked incredulously. (I guess that makes sense, since some of them seem sentient)
“Oh yes, and let me tell you, you don’t want to be anywhere near them if they are.” he told her.
“Um…ok.” She wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Seeing her discomfort, Stolas decided to change the topic.
“Thank you for taking Via out yesterday. Despite everything, she had a good time and came home relatively safe.” he said with a smile.
“Yeah, it was fun. Bee really liked her too” she told him with a smile on her face as well.
“Is it true that Blitzy beat her in a drinking contest?”
“Yeah, hard to believe, ain’t it?” Stolas nodded, wondering if he and the imp had a drinking contest, who would win.
“Are you serious about him?” Loona asked the owl, catching him off guard. “I mean, like really serious, not just for sex?”
“Of course, I am.” he said. He thought he made it clear how much he cared for the imp.
“Good, he doesn’t need any more crap in his life, that’s for sure” (Anymore? Have I hurt him?) “…Alright, I give you my blessing.” She said told the owl.
“Pardon?” (Blessing for what?)
“To be part of our messed-up family.” She explained. She already considered Via her sister, and she liked Stolas enough as well. “But just so we’re clear… you hurt him in any way, shape or form, and I’ll tear out all your feathers before ripping you to shreds and feeding you to Eris. Do I make myself clear?” She threatened. He gulped and nodded at her threat. Stella used a similar threat before, but for rather trivial reasons.
“D-darling, I would never intentionally hurt Blitzy. You must believe that.” She eyed him for a moment, before smiling.
“Welcome to the family fuck face!” she said with a warm smile. Stolas smiled nervously at her, not sure whether to be flattered or frightened now. (Guess I have two daughters now.)
*****
Meanwhile…
Vassago unlocked the restricted area, opening the door. “Stay close and don’t touch anything.” He ordered the imp, who was carrying a large bucket of meat, as he conjured a forcefield around the two. Once they were inside, Vassago used magic to levitate the meat from the bucket and threw it at various carnivorous plants.
Blitz watched in amazement as a sanguine vine sucked the blood of a steak before it dropped the bloodless meat onto some red toadstools. Their caps opened and sharp rows of teeth ate the dried meat. Nearby, some tiny, purple and blue spotted (Earth) Venus flytraps fought over a chicken leg before a patch of red moss somehow digested the bone. A tree that looked like the monster from a horror movie growled at the pair before it caught a steak in its branches.
Blitz spotted some yellow eyeballs on blue stems (he couldn’t tell if they were supposed to be flowers or berries) peak out of a bush to stare at the pair before the parrot threw mutton at it. The bush somehow split in half, like a giant mouth, before swallowing the mutton whole, letting out a very large burp. The bush’s eyes looked at them as if begging for more and Blitz was tempted to throw more mutton to it (he was a sucker for puppy dog eyes).
The parrot stopped throwing meat before he used a spell to find and burn away any weeds in the area. The plants were too busy eating to notice the small fires near them. Blitz watched as several red flames surrounded some deadly nightshade and the eyeball bush before his eyes widened in horror as he spotted a familiar looking plant.
“Wait, he’s got another Eris in here?!!” Blitz asked, seeing a large, red Eris- like plant in the center of the room. He really hoped this one wasn’t a ‘cuddler’ as well.
“That’s Eros, her brother” Vassago said as his magic flung some venison to the plant, now that he was done with the weeding. Blitz watched it eat, noticing ‘he’ violently tore his food with his tentacles before obscenely chewing it with sharp teeth, instead of just gulping them down like Eris does. It was kind of unnerving.
“How can you tell its sex?” he asked. Eros eyed them before flinging his tentacles at the pair. Blitz, with a (very manly) squeak, hid behind Vassago, only for Eros to let out what he could only describe as a frustrated growl as the tentacles hit the forcefield, bouncing off the pair.
“The males are red, bigger, have a harder bulb and are very aggressive. Females are white, smaller, have softer bulbs and calmer” he explained as he summoned a raincloud to rain on the plants in this area, including Eros. “What’s more, while the girls aren’t as hard as the males, they are resistant to magic.”
“Really? So you can blast Eris with magic and not destroy her?” he asked amazed as he turned his gaze away from Eros to see some mandrake stems shiver in delight as the water hit them.
“Nope. And if you’re inside them, you are practically protected from magic as well.” Vassago continued. “There’s even rumors that you can cross barriers if you are in them, but we haven’t tested that out yet.” Blitz listened to the parrot in awe. He would be invincible to magic and cross barriers? He imagined himself in armor made out of Eris, just crossing barriers and having magic bounce off him and back to his enemies. (That would be so cool!)
“Uh, question. What happens if they puke yellow on you?” Blitz asked as he spotted some yellow flowers spraying a purple mist as the rain stopped. He needed to know what happens if it’s yellow.
“For the first twenty hours? Nothing. But once that time’s up, immediately your bones liquidate, your flesh and organs melt and you essentially become jam. It’s pretty good on toast,” the parrot said casually.
“Please tell me your joking” Blitz begged. That sounded like a terrible way to die.
“I am. It tastes terrible on toast” Vassago said. Blitz couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. (Not to self, stay away from yellow)
“So can you stop becoming jam?” he asked. It would be handy to know if he or one of his employees had to deal with yellow Eris barf.
“Only if you eat a bit of the plant that vomited on you within the twenty-hour timeframe. But they don’t like it and will turn hostile if you try” the parrot explained.
“And if its purple, does it do anything other than make you smell sweet?”
“Not really.” Vassago said, causing Blitz to sigh in relief. “Unless you eat it, then it becomes a very power sedative and immediately knocks you out for a few days” Blitz’s eyes widened at that statement. When he was washing Eris’ purple goo off, he thought about licking some of it to see if it tasted as good as it smelled. (Good thing I didn’t lick it then)
“So, where are the heavenly ones?” He asked, wanting to forget about almost becoming imp jam or comatose because a plant threw up on him.
“Follow me and don’t touch,” Vassago said as they made their way to the other side of the building to a door on the opposite end of the room. As they made their way through, some vines with spikes fired their thorns at the pair, flowers released their toxic spores and at least eighteen different carnivorous or dangerous plants lunged at them. If not for the forcefield, they’d definitely have been eaten or killed in some way. Blitz was starting to see why this area was off limits.
Finally, they made their way to the other side of the room. Vassago opened the door and Blitz braced himself, expecting some sort of horrendous tentacle monster of a plant guarding the treasure, or maybe a blast of holy energy that would burn him alive. Instead, he dropped the now empty bucket, his eyes widened as he saw a small garden with the most beautiful plants he had ever seen.
Pale bushes and shrubs that had beautiful roses and shimmering berries surrounded the area. Glowing flowers and sparkling herbs littered the ground. A small glowing pond in the corner held some aquatic plants within the clear water, with perfect lily pads floating on top. In the center of the garden, a beautiful tree with silver leaves and golden apples.
There was a magic orb on the ceiling mimicking sunlight (similar to the rest of the restricted area, but smaller so not to overwhelm the plants in this room). The entire garden seemed to give off a soft, ethreal glow and the air gave a very soft, melodic hum. It was so beautiful, even more beautiful than the bioluminescent area. It took his breath away with its sheer beauty (or maybe it was from the heavenly pollen, who knows).
Vassago conjured up a storm cloud and the imp watched it rain over the garden. Blitz noticed there were no weeds in the area (Guess there are no weeds in heaven). “These are the heavenly ones? They’re so beautiful. Shame they’re locked away in here” Blitz said the water dropped down the petals of a nearby rosebush, making it shimmer.
“I know, you should’ve seen them when they had their own biome near the bioluminescent area. It really made the greenhouse pop” Vassago said fondly.
“What did she do?” Vassago looked down at the imp “Stolas told me you put up a barrier when Stella wanted to give them out as party favors, but he didn’t say why he didn’t put it up. So, what did she do? Don’t tell me it was during his first purification,” he asked. That’s the only reason he could think of where Stolas couldn’t protect his precious plants.
“No, it was several months after. She hurt him badly, let’s just leave it at that.” Vassago said vaguely. If Stolas didn’t tell the imp what happened, he figured he shouldn’t as well.
“Thank you for defending him against her, even though it was a bit more crass than what I would have expected.” He continued.
“Uh, yea, sure. And I meant every word of it.” the imp explained looking back at the plants. Vassago wasn’t sure how he should take that.
“Anyway, I can tell you’ve started listening to my advice. You’ve made him very happy and for that I am grateful. But as his friend and keeper, I should give you a fair warning.” The imp turned to the parrot, who was glaring at him.
“Stolas and I have a very strong bond and he’s very dear to me. It kills me to know how much he’s suffered in his life already. So, if you hurt him more than you already have, I will deal with you accordingly before giving you to Eros. And I can assure you, unlike Eris, he does not cuddle. Do I make myself clear?” he threatened the imp, waiting for him to nod in fear.
“I-I don’t plan on hurting him. B-believe me, I’m trying” he said, hoping the parrot would believe him.
“Good.” Vassago acknowledged. “Now then, shall we take our leave?” he asked, happy that his threat seemed to work. Afterall, giving him to the plant wasn’t the worst thing he had planned if the imp hurt Stolas again.
*****
Via finished the rest of the greenhouse by the time they left the restricted area and joined them. As they made their way into the kitchen, they saw Millie playing with Eris. She found a small ball and was teaching the plant to play catch. It made the taller imp uncomfortable seeing Eris, knowing he could have become jam if her spew was another color.
He quickly stepped away from them before Eris noticed his presence before going over to Moxxie. “What’s for dinner Mox?” he asked.
“Breakfast” the white-haired imp said as he put some bread slices in a bowl of an egg mixture.
“So…cereal?” (Is he still mad that I told him he sucks at desserts? Is he punishing me for that?)
“He’s talking bacon, french toast, that sort of thing.” Millie explained as she tossed the ball to Eris, who caught it in her mouth before spitting it out like a cannon to Millie, making a happy gurgling sound. “Good girl!” Millie praised her.
“Need some help?” Blitz offered the other male imp. He could make his (not so famous but still magically delicious) blue pancakes. He just hoped the couple picked up some pancake mix and food coloring from Hellmart for him to make them.
“Nah, I got it.” Moxxie said as he took the slices of egg-soaked bread and put it on an electric griddle on the counter.
“Hey Mox, toast goes in the toaster” his boss told him as if it weren’t obvious. Moxxie giving an incredulous look to the taller imp.
“It’s… French toast sir. You don’t put it in the toaster” Now it was Blitz’s turn to give him a disbelieving look.
“Remind me again how he’s your boss.” Vassago asked Millie. Surely the mottled imp couldn’t be this stupid.
PING…PING…PING…PING…PING…
Blitz was about to retort when he heard his phone get several messages. Who’s blowing up his phone? Was Fizz having a fashion crisis again?
He pulled it out as he kept getting more messages, eyes widening as he saw who they were from. (That bastard! I thought he was joking!)
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:21pm: Thank you for the offer Blitzy, but you don’t need to get me a souvenir. Especially since the competition was several weeks ago. Lol :) :
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:22pm: I bet Fizz’s performance was truly amazing. And you did so well being his bodyguard. You have such good aim, Blitzy and know just how to get the job done ;) :
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:22pm: I’m so glad that he no longer works with Mammon. From what I hear, he is not pleasant boss to work for, not like you, Blitzy :) :
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:22pm: I was already aware of their relationship. It’s so great that they finally went public with it:
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:23pm: I’m not sure who tops in their relationship, and I’m not sure I want to know.:
These were responses from the texts the imp sent during Mammon’s contest weeks ago. Looks like Stolas’ phone was working, and someone gave it back to him. That feathered bastard was replying to the nearly two thousand messages Blitz had so kindly left him this past month.
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:23pm: You did a very good job fixing those bobbleheads. I agree, Moxxie’s head does look good on Millie’s body:
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:23pm: That’s the overlord, Zestial. I’m not sure how you thought he was me. He’s not even avian. :
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:24pm: Blitzy, just because someone has 4 eyes, is tall and skinny and wears a fancy hat, doesn’t mean they look like me. But I forgive you, since you were drunk:
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:24pm: Is that the horse from the carousel from your carnival assassination? It is a lovely horse, but I’m not sure you should hang it from your ceiling.:
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:25pm: Don’t worry Blitzy. I’m sure Princess Sugarsnap and Lemoncurd will work things out. You still have 2 seasons left:
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:25pm: I’m glad I’m not as bad as that sinner. If she’s still giving you trouble, say the word and I will deal with her once I’m better. However, Blitzy-kun is a cute nickname if you ask me ;) :
(Please don’t let him start calling me that)
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:25pm:I was not mad at you Blitzy, I was merely busy during that time. I am sorry I worried you. Forgive me? :
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:26pm: A suppository is medicine that goes up the anus. I’m not sure if it was a compliment or an insult when your client called you a walking suppository:
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:26pm: I do hope Asmodeus approves the Dragon Driller 5000. It sounds like it could be fun for us to try. But nothing beats your big, red dick ;):
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:26pm: I have heard of Pest Oh’s. Their fried mice are really good. I think you’d like the fried voles if you haven’t tried it yet.:
(The hell is a vole?)
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:27pm: No, I do not have any man-eating cabbages to kill your target. Perhaps someday I can crossbreed a carnivorous plant with one for you though.:
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:27pm: I’m sorry Blitzy, but your invention idea already exists. They’re called bidets.:
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:28pm: I’m sorry your target was hard to kill. Moxxie told me all about it. But in the end, I’m glad you managed to kill that pet rock. It sounded like it deserved it:
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:28pm: That’s a very good drawing. Loona looks so badass and valiant riding that unicorn. You are such a good artist:
(I am, aren’t I?)
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:29pm: Poor Moxxie :( I suppose it is a good thing Millie pegs him.:
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:29pm: Awe, my poor Blitzy :( . Of course I’ll kiss it better for you ;) :
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:29pm: Lol. I normally wouldn’t agree that you are a dumbass, a bit headstrong, maybe, but not a dumbass. But, I suppose given the circumstances; you are one. So, congratulations on being a dumbass :) :
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/20 5:30pm: Awe <3 I miss your sweet ass too Blitzy <3 <3 <3:
Ok, enough’s enough. “I’ll be back” he told the group as he went to Stolas’ bedroom.
PING…PING…PING…Buzz…
He decided to just put his phone on vibrate now. It was starting to get annoying.
Buzz…Buzz…Buzz…Buzz…
Ok vibrate didn’t help. It was like walking with a vibrator in his pocket. He was just gonna ask Stolas to stop, but now he’s probably gonna confiscate the phone. He made his way to the owl’s room, ready to give him a scolding only to stop and smile at the scene in front of him. Loona, still in her bathrobe but with the towel on the floor, was sitting next to the owl on his bed, the both of them giggling as they read the owl’s phone.
“Oh, that’s good. Send it” she told the owl.
Buzz
“Yikes, that’s cringe. You need to do that one.” Loona told Stolas, pointing to a message before the owl started typing again. The two started giggling at whatever he typed.
“Yes! Perfect” Loona encouraged before he hit send.
Buzz
“Oh, definitely that one.” Loona said pointing to another message as Stolas typed. Ok, time to put an end to it.
“Alright, is there a reason you’re blowing up my phone?” he asked the pair, causing them to look up.
“Oh, hello Blitzy. I was just reading your messages. You were right, there are quite a few” Stolas said with a cheeky grin. “And I did say I was gonna reply to half of them. Loona was kind enough to help me figure out which ones I should reply to.”
Loona smirked in acknowledgement. She grabbed the owl’s phone earlier to exchange numbers, when she saw how many messages from Blitz he was suddenly getting after she turned it on. She had the idea that Stolas should reply to them, granted he only agreed to do half of the messages.
“Well, that’s nice and all, but I did ask you to not to blow up my phone. So, knock it off will ya?” he scolded the owl.
“He can’t just ignore your messages. That’d be rude” Loona told the imp. This was not only a way for her to bond with the owl, but to get back at Blitz for the bathroom incident.
“She’s right, Blitzy” Stolas agreed with the hellhound as he hit send. It would be rude and besides, they were having fun.
Buzz
“Very funny, you two.” Blitz said sarcastically. “Now knock it off or I’m taking it from you!” He threatened the owl. Stolas knew he would definitely go through with the threat.
“Spoil sport.” Stolas pouted as he placed his phone on the bed between himself and the hellhound.
“Anyway, breakfast is almost ready” the imp said, causing the owl to look out to the balcony in confusion. It wasn’t morning, was it?
“Um…don’t you mean dinner?” he asked in confusion.
“Yea, we’re having breakfast for dinner.” Oh, that made sense. “And you’re eating it” he told the owl, remembering he hasn’t eaten in two days.
“Oh, um… I suppose I should.” He still wasn’t hungry, but he knew he should probably eat something.
“Alright, so what do you want? Bacon, french toast, oatmeal?” he offered.
“Um, surprise me, I guess. Just not a whole lot please. I don’t have much of an appetite and I’d rather not waste food.” The owl said.
“Alright,” he supposed as long as the owl actually eats something, and he can always get him seconds if he’s still hungry. “Looney, you want anything?” he offered.
“I’ll get my own in a bit” she said before he turned away.
Buzz
Blitz turned to the owl on the bed as he felt his phone go off.
“Hey! I mean it! One more from you and I’m taking it.” he warned, pointing to the owl.
“I didn’t do anything!” Stolas defended himself, holding up his empty hands. He looked to where the owl placed the phone, only for it to be gone. Blitz looked at his smirking daughter, the phone in her hands. Blitz knew he would not be able to get the phone unscathed now.
“Just tell me what to put and I’ll type” Loona told the owl. Blitz realized he told Stolas to stop typing, not Loona. (Great, they found a loophole.)
“Just... please don’t blow it up too much, will ya?” he begged before leaving.
Buzz…Buzz…Buzz…
“Groan… I should’ve just taken it from Stolas when I had the chance.”
Chapter 44: Breakfast and Bedside Stories
Chapter Text
Stella stormed into Andrealphus’ palace, her dress torn and burned in several spots. She grabbed the nearest thing to her, a vase made of ice, before throwing it, shattering it into a million pieces. It wasn’t as satisfying if there wasn’t anyone to throw it at. She grabbed a pillow from a nearby sofa and tore it but had the same results. She let out a frustrated growl before she spotted Impington walking by with a feather duster in his hands. She grabbed the small imp before throwing him out the window (he thankfully landed in a large pile of snow to cushion his fall). That was a little more satisfying.
“Sigh…What’s wrong now?” She turned to her brother, who looked at her with an unimpressed expression.
“I went to take back that wretched girl and not only was I attacked by a mangy hellhound, and had my phone destroyed, look what that red bastard did to my dress!” she gestured to her ruined outfit with her bandaged arm. “What’s more, my assassin didn’t do her fucking job!” she whined, sounding like a spoiled child.
“You went… ugh” Andrealphus put a facepalmed in frustration. He couldn’t believe his sister was so stupid. “You know you’re not supposed to be near Stolas when he’s doing his rituals, especially when he’s a vessel.” he scolded her. He wasn’t sure how he could convince the council to look the other way. He was already having a hard time trying to convince them that he was innocent of hiring that assassin to kill a Stolas and frame Vassago.
“And that’s not even the worst of it” she went on ignoring her brother. “That imp he’s fucking was there. You should’ve heard all the shit he was yelling. He was saying Stolas is actually good in bed. Can you believe it?” Andrealphus looked up at her as she smashed a table lamp in frustration.
“The imp was there?” he asked. “Are you saying you saw him with Stolas in the palace?”
“That twig wouldn’t even show his scrawny ass. Besides, I couldn’t even get in. There was a fucking barrier” she growled as she flipped a table, causing the tea set that was on it to shatter.
“Will you stop destroying my property and focus you dimwit?” he scolded, getting her attention. “I could persuade the council to open an investigation. Afterall, the super blue blood moon ended over a month ago and yet no word from the vessel. That could mean that either Stolas is not doing his duties or Vassago is failing as his keeper. We could use that to our advantage.” He told her.
“But…”
“No buts. You’re already under investigation with your assassin. If the council finds out that you were at the palace and Stolas is acting as a vessel, then even I might not be able convince them leniency again. In fact, why don’t you make yourself scarce for the time being, hm? Go to grandaddies old vacation home. It’ll be safer for you there.” he suggested (And I’m getting tired of you breaking all my things). The vacation home was given to Stella by her grandfather as a present many years ago. Although it was in great condition and in a beautiful snowy location in the middle of nowhere, she rarely used it.
“Ugh… fine we do it your way… for now.” Stella reluctantly agreed. Satisfied, she was listening to him, the peacock opened a portal and left. Once he was out of the sight, Stella went to his landline to make some calls. Andrealphus can open an investigation and do what he wants, but Stella would be ready when his plan failed. She was going to make Stolas pay for ruining her reputation, for disgracing her, for making her a laughingstock amongst the nobility. She was going to make sure he truly suffered before she finally ended his life.
*****
Meanwhile…
Blitz went back to the kitchen, his phone still buzzing. As annoying as this was, it was still better than having it pinging all the time. But he still hoped they would get tired soon.
Buzz…Buzz…Buzz…
“Please tell me that’s your phone.” Via begged as he walked past her. the buzzing was so consistent, one could easily mistake it for a sex toy. He pulled it out to show her, causing her to sigh in relief.
“Loona and Stolas thought it would be funny to blow it up and I can’t get ‘em to stop.” he explained to her.
“Can’t you put it on silent? It’s kinda annoying” she asked. Blitz perked up at her request. (Why didn’t I think of that?) As he went to do just that, he saw the number of messages he received so far. Looks like he received a hundred and twelve new messages from Stolas. He’s just gonna ignore them for now as he silenced his phone. (Much better)
He turned to see what the others were doing. Via was getting dishes for tonight’s meal, Vassago was making some more tea as Millie was preparing a fruit salad of sorts (I could have done that). Meanwhile Moxxie running between the griddle and the stove “You sure you don’t…”
“No” Moxxie interrupted as he continued his cooking. (Alrighty then)
Wanting to seem somewhat useful, he decided to grab some condiments and drinks for breakfast. He grabbed some syrup, jam (it still made him a little uneasy), butter, ketchup and hot sauce (just in case they were needed.) He grabbed three types of juices and some milk in case anyone wanted anything.
“Breakfast is ready” Moxxie said as he turned off the electric griddle.
For breakfast there was bacon, scrambled eggs, French toast and hashbrowns. Sitting next to the dishes containing their dinner was a bowl of Millie’s fruit salad containing berries, kiwi, peaches and bananas. Blitz watched as Vassago grabbed a little bit of eggs and fruit salad. No French toast, bacon, or hashbrowns.
“Not hungry?” Blitz asked.
‘It’s for Stolas. Knowing him, he probably doesn’t have much of an appetite still. But he should still eat something.” the parrot explained as he put some black pepper on the eggs, just the way he knew Stolas liked. Blitz agreed with the parrot, he does need to eat, and he supposed the rest of what Moxxie made might be too greasy or rich for the owl to handle right now. He watched as the parrot set down the food on a tray and finished making tea for the owl as Blitz prepared his own plate. Once the parrot set that down, he went to grab food for himself.
“I’ll take it to him” Blitz said placing his own meal on the tray before taking it away before anyone could protest. As he brought it to Stolas room, he spotted the pair giggling as Loona typed something on his phone. (Hah! Jokes on them, I don’t know what they’re typing.)
“If you two are done, breakfast is ready.” he said, getting the two to look up at him. Loona rolled her eyes before handing the phone back to the owl so she could leave to change and grab food for herself. He placed the tray on Stolas’ lap before plucking the phone out of his hands with his tail.
“Hey!” Stolas squawked indignantly as his phone was stolen by the imp.
“I warned you what would happen if you kept blowing up my phone.” Blitz scolded as he jumped off the bed, out of Stolas’ reach.
“But I wasn’t the one typing” Stolas argued.
“Don’t care. You can have it back later if you’re a good boy.” Blitz told him before taking the device to the dresser, way beyond the owl’s reach. There’s no way the owl is getting this back (unless someone gives it back to him, but they’ll cross that bridge when they get there).
“Oh, so you can blow up my phone, but I can’t yours?” Stolas pouted.
“No, you can’t. It the rules” Blitz joke scolded as he plugged the phone into the charger.
Blitz returned to the bed, grabbing his plate and started to eat while Stolas looked down at his meal apprehensively. It looked and smelled good, but his stomach was churning just from the thought of eating. But still, he knew he had to eat something, especially since his last meal was a little bit of soup from a few days ago.
He was reaching for his fork when the imp snatched it from his tray, he knew what the imp was going to do. “I can…”
“No! I’m doing it” Blitz interrupted before shoving a forkful of eggs into the owl’s mouth. Unfortunately, he shoved it with a little too much force that it caused the owl to choke a bit. Stolas grabbed the imp’s glass of orange juice rather than his piping hot cup of tea and chugged it, trying to dislodge the food caught in his throat. “Shit sorry!” Blitz apologized. He didn’t mean to choke the owl.
“I-its fine Blitzy, just… maybe don’t just shove it into my mouth like that.” He said as he finally was able to breathe again.
“Alright, let’s try this again” he said as he took a bit of the fruit and gave it to the owl, who thankfully didn’t choke on this bit.
Knock knock knock
The pair turned to see their daughters at the doorway, Loona dressed in more casual wear now, both with plates of food and glasses of juice in their hands. “Thought we’d keep you company” Loona said as they came in, followed by M&M and Vassago. The parrot conjured up some chairs for the new arrivals. Looks like they were all having dinner together.
“Where’s your phone?” Loona asked Stolas as she sat down, not seeing the device.
“Blitzy took… mmph” he was interrupted by the imp shoving more eggs into his mouth, thankfully not as forceful as last time. The imp didn’t want Vassago to think he was being mean to the owl, especially after their chat in the restricted area.
“Awe!” Millie and Moxxie cooed as they saw their boss feeding his bed-ridden lover. How romantic.
“Didn’t like all his messages, Blitzy?” Loona teased.
“You guys sent me over a hundred messages in less than thirty minutes.’ He scolded his daughter.
“But you were blowing up my…mmph” Stolas was interrupted again as the imp shoved some fruit into his mouth. He glared as he chewed and swallowed the food before addressing the imp. Afterall, its rude to talk with your mouth full. “Will you sto… mmph” the owl tried to scold only to be interrupted by more food shoved in his mouth.
“Just eat your breakfast.” The mottled imp scolded, causing the owl to give him a glare as the others watched in amusement.
“It’s not nice if you don’t let him talk, sir” Moxxie told his boss, getting a smug smirk from Stolas (First Looney and now Mox? Damn traitors.)
“Fine.” He reluctantly agreed with his employee before turning to the owl. “So Stols, who’s a better cook? Moxxie or Pringles?” the imp asked with a smirk.
“I’m sorry?”
“Whose foods better? Moxxie’s or your butlers?” he reiterated. Did Stolas not know the names of his employees?
“My butlers name’s Impington.” The owl told him.
“Nuh uh” Blitz said. He’s heard some of the owl’s staff say the word Pringles near the butler several times. After seeing the serious look Stolas was giving him, he turned to Octavia who nodded.
“His name’s Impington.” She agreed.
“Then… who’s Pringles?” he asked.
“My butler” Vassago told him.
“You’re shitting me.” This had to be a joke right?
Vassago pulled out his phone and found his butlers Sinstagram account. He found a picture of Pringles with his brother, Impington, both dressed in their butler uniform, posing as secret agents holding spray bottles as if they were guns. “Pringles is the one on the right.” he said as he showed the phone to the I.M.P. employees.
“The fuck?” Blitz said as saw the photo. They looked almost the exact same, the only difference is the one on the left (the one he’s seen in the palace) had striped horns while the one on the right had black ones.
“Now to answer your question, I’ll say Moxxie, just because Impington doesn’t cook for me, and I don’t believe I have ever had Pringles cooking.” Stolas told the imp.
“He doesn’t cook for me either.” Vassago said before taking a bite of his meal.
“H-how do they look alike?” Blitz still couldn’t understand how they had matching butlers. Was it magic? Do all Goetia butlers look like this?
“Their twins darling.” Stolas told him, hoping that would explain things. (Oh, duh! That makes sense. But I could have sworn Stolas’ butler was Pringles)
*****
An hour later…
“So then, as Sir Humpington is trying to get up, I whack him on the head with the jousting stick and break his neck. The crowd was cheering, thinking I just knocked him out. I was declared winner and got a shiny medal for it. Wish they would have let me keep Sprinkles though.’” Blitz grumbled as he finished his story causing the others to laugh in amusement. Of course, he would rather have a pony than a medal and cash prize.
“You must've been so proud” Stolas told Loona, imagining his Blitzy dressed as a knight, riding a noble steed.
“Sure, what girl wouldn’t be proud of their dad winning a joust at a cheap renaissance fair while wearing pink armor and riding a pony?” she said sarcastically. It was true, the adult armor was way too big for the imp, so they had to use some kid armor. And of course, all the children’s armor that was left was pink. He could have let Millie wear the armor and compete in the joust, but he wanted to ride the pony dammit!
The group laughed at her statement with Blitz smiling like a dork because Loona called him dad.
“Oh! I got a good one. And I know Millie likes this one as well. So, a few weeks ago, we got this sinner, Walter, who wanted us to kill, his wife. Specifically, he wanted us to scare her to death. Now you may think that it was out of revenge or spite, right? Well, it wasn’t.” Moxxie began.
“Squeal!!” Millies squealed in delight, her eyes getting bigger as she realized what story Moxxie is telling.
~Flashback~
Three weeks ago…
“So, wait… you want us to scare your wife to death… because you love her?” Blitz asked the sinner. The Sinner looked like a tall scarecrow with a large, round glass.
“Oh yes, we’ve been pranking and scaring each other for seventy-three years, since we were kids. I would cut the brakes of her bike, and she’d remove the bolts to the wheels of mine. I put itching powder in her panties, and she’d put hot sauce in my underwear. In fact, it was when she had me tied to a railroad track with an oncoming train, only to change its course at the last second, that I realized she was the one for me.” the sinner explained. “And it didn’t stop there. We’ve been at it for our entire marriage. I’d chase her with a chainsaw, and she’d throw knives at me. I’d put spiders in her purse, and she’d put snakes in my desk. On our fiftieth anniversary, she got a jet to write I had a small dick in the sky while I had her pap smear results posted in the local paper... Ah good times” Walter reminisced fondly.
“Well, she got me good when she scared me to death, now I want you to return the favor. Scare her to death for me so we can be together forever” the scarecrow sinner said, getting a collection of ‘Awes’ from M&M and, surprisingly, Loona. Afterall, what’s more romantic that using your love language to kill your spouse so you can be in hell together forever?
“Alright, so long as you pay extra for the specifics, we’ll kill your wife for you” Blitz promised, shaking the client’s hand, before taking out his phone and shooting a quick text to someone, “He’ll love this weird romantic shit” Moxxie heard Blitz mutter. The white-haired imp had a feeling he knew who he was talking about.
“One more thing” the sinner said, causing Blitz to look up again at him. “She’s a bit…senile” the sinner warned. Moxxie wasn’t sure why that would be an issue. In fact, it might make things a bit easier for them.
*****
They found the old lady, Muriel, easily enough at her farmhouse. She was a tiny, elderly lady dressed in a pink dress and yellow shawl, with wispy white hair, and thick glasses, like Walter’s. Well, it can’t be hard to scare a little old lady to death, right?
Figuring a good kidnapping and some reckless driving might do the trick, Blitz got into the diver seat of her car as M&M tied her up and threw her in the back of the vehicle. Moxxie sat in the back with their target and Millie got into the passenger seat.
“Alright Bitch! You’re gonna stay nice and quiet or we’re gonna blow your brains out got it?” Blitz yelled at their target before driving erratically throughout the town. Moxxie, and Millie held on for dear life from his driving before Moxxie looked at the target. She was just looking out the window, a smile on her face. She didn’t look scared at all (Of course, old people are bad drivers! Blitz’s driving won’t scare her). It was then he noticed the ropes they used on her.
“Uh, sir? She untied herself.” Moxxie said before Blitz slammed on the break, causing Millie, who wasn’t buckled, to fly right into the windshield. Muriel, free from her bindings, got out of the car and walked to the driver’s side.
Tap tap tap
She knocked on the window before Blitz rolled it down in confusion.
“A little something extra for you, young man” she said as she handed him a $5 bill. “I’ll be sure to give your taxi service a good review.” She told him before she walked into the town’s craft store, ‘Crafty Lady’.
“This…may be harder than I thought” Blitz said, watching her go inside the building, while pocketing his tip.
*****
Next, they followed her into a coffee shop called ‘Cecil’s Coffee and Tea’. “Where’s Blitz?” Moxxie asked Millie from their spot at an outdoor table, watching their target. They had been waiting for their boss for almost fifteen minutes. He said he needed to grab something, saying a more subtle approach might do the trick, and he would be right back, but they didn’t know how much longer Muriel would stay here.
To pass the time, they ordered drinks for themselves and their boss as they waited. Moxxie wasn’t very happy that the teen behind the counter got his order wrong, making a face as he took a sip of his drink. “Seriously. How hard is it to makea Venti traditional misto with soy milk, two blond shots affogatoandristretto?You just need to add threevanilla pumps at the very bottom, then add the coffee, then…” His rant was cut short as he saw his boss slinking back to them.
“Where’d you go?” Moxxie asked as he took a sip of his coffee.
“Miss me that much Mox?” Blitz asked playfully. “Had to make a quick call first, then had to get… this!” Blitz said as he pulled out the jar containing Martha’s eye that he normally kept displayed in his office, causing Moxxie to spit out his coffee in disgust.
“Why?!!” he demanded.
“To scare her, duh” Blitz explained as if it weren’t obvious. He pulled the eyeball out of the jar. “Ok, so you’re gonna put this in Muriel’s drink. Surely that’ll scare her.” Blitz said handing the eyeball to Moxxie, who looked like he was about to throw up. “Now go!” Blitz ordered, pushing Moxxie to get going before he could protest, while taking a drink of the iced coffee M&M so kindly ordered for him.
Moxxie grabbed Muriel’s cup when she was staring at some birds and muttering about how she wished she put pigeons in her husband’s car before he died. He removed the lid and tossed it aside, so she would see the eyeball floating before he scampered away. The group watched her as Moxxie wiped his hands with a napkin.
“Oh dear, that dumbass forgot to take out the teabag.” Muriel said as she took out the eyeball, sucking the tea off it (EW!) and tossing it over her shoulder, much to the mottled imps dismay, before taking a sip of her tea.
“I… think I’m done with mine” Moxxie said, pushing his drink away from him as he watched Blitz run after his eyeball.
*****
After the failed kidnapping and tea scare, they surrounded her with a ring of fire, only for her to start singing campfire songs. After that, they took her up to the roof of the town’s tallest building, dangling her from the edge, only to have to save her after Blitz dropped her (she thought she was on an elevator the entire time). Finally, they dumped barrels of snakes, spiders and rodents on her, only for her to mutter about the rain and forgetting her umbrella. They could have killed her at any time with just a bullet or a stab wound, but the client was willing to pay a lot for them to scare her to death.
With no choice left, Blitz decided it was time to bring out the big guns for this case. And by big guns, it meant bringing in Loona.
“Are you saying I’m scary?” she growled at the imps. They had just come back to the office to beg for her help. She didn’t like their implication that she was terrifying.
“N-no sweety, we just thought… maybe you would have better luck than we’re having?” Blitz said, trying to placate his daughter.
“Ugh… fine” she agreed reluctantly, causing the imps to sigh in relief. They did not want to feel her wrath.
The group made their way back to the Muriel’s farmhouse, where she was sitting in a rocking chair on her porch, humming a song as she was knitting. Loona jumped right in front of her and growled threateningly, looking like she would attack the little old lady.
“Such a cute puppy!” the old lady said with a smile while setting down her work, causing Loona to stop growling and look at the old lady in confusion. “Nice doggie.” Muriel said as she patted the hellhound’s head, before she got up and went inside. Loona watched her in disbelief before she tried to lunge at the old lady in anger. The imps had to tackle the hellhound, knowing that she would tear that little old lady limb from limb.
“Sweetie, no! We need to scare her, not tear her!” Blitz shouted as he tried to hold her back.
*****
Alright, they were running out of ideas. They tried Blitz’s idea of locking her in a small box, only for her to take a nap in there. Millies idea as dressing up as ghosts failed when they were mistaken for trick or treaters (she gave them hard candies from her purse). Loona thought needles (since she hated shots herself) only to find out Muriel had been a seamstress and just used their needles to mend her curtains.
Moxxie thought of playing death metal music loudly, hoping the unsettling noise would do the job, only for Muriel to happily hum to a different tune. Blitz even tried calling and texting Stolas to see if he could help scare her like he did with those D.H.O.R.K. agents, but the owl never answered. Finally, they came up with the idea to end all ideas.
After the old lady went to bed they got to work. They decked her house with fake blood and organs, monster mannequins and red lighting. Basically, everything you would find in a really scary haunted house attraction. “If this doesn’t scare her, then nothing will” Blitz told his employees, who all nodded in agreement.
*****
The next morning…
When Muriel woke up, she didn’t seem to notice her bedroom decked out in fake gore and horror movie monsters. The group watched from their (obvious) hiding spots as she got up and went to her bathroom. “Gasp!” The I.M.P. employees smirked as they heard her startled gasp. Looks like she noticed the blood stains all over the bathroom and the message ‘U R DED’ Blitz had written on the bathroom mirror. “I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste!” they heard her distraught voice say. Ok, maybe she didn’t notice. Once they heard the shower start running, Blitz decided it was time for plan B.
“Ok, Looney, Millie! Go downstairs and get ready. Moxxie, you and I will try to get her while she’s still up here. Ready, go!” As soon as the girls left, the taller imp turned to Moxxie. “Ok, you get under the bed and if she walks near you, grab her legs. Oh, and put this on!” Blitz told him before throwing a cheap vampire mask on his head. “I’ll get her from the closet” Blitz said as he threw on a cheap jester mask on himself. It matched Blitz’s skin tone so perfectly that, other than the creepy plastered grin and missing head brand, you couldn’t even tell he was wearing a mask. The boys went to their hiding spot as they heard the shower turn off. Soon, the white-haired imp saw Muriel’s bare legs as she came out of the bathroom, humming happily as she walked to the closet, opening it.
“Roa-AAAHHHHHH!!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!” Moxxie heard Blitz scream before he saw his boss run toward the bathroom, running into the door before opening it. The white-haired imp barely noticed Muriel leave the bedroom, still happily humming, not even noticing the imps. Moxxie ran to the bathroom, wondering what that little old lady did to the mottled imp, only to see Blitz try to open a bottle of bleach, his mask on the floor.
“Sir, are you ok? What happened?!!” he asked worriedly.
“She was not wearing a towel, Moxxie!!!” Blitz explained as he dumped the bleach onto his eyes, yelling out in pain as the chemicals touched his eyeballs. Moxxie didn’t know whether to laugh or try to take the chemicals away from his boss.
Eventually, they made their way out of the bedroom and to the staircase where Loona and Millie sat, looking dejectedly toward a little kitchen table across from them, where Muriel sat, eating some red dyed oatmeal with gummy fingers. “No luck?” Blitz asked, Loona turned to answer, before she saw his red eyes.
“What happened to you?” she asked.
“You don’t wanna know.” he told her as he looked at the old woman, who was ignoring the monster mannequins and fake entrails surrounding her.
“Sigh…well I give up” Blitz said in defeat as he sat on the stairs near the girls, Moxxie sitting on the one behind him. “Guess after years of their prank wars or whatever, she’s desensitized to scary shit” Moxxie noticed Loona’s ears perk up as she heard what Blitz said.
“Can I try something?” she asked.
“Knock yourself out sweetie” Blitz said, gesturing to the old lady. The imps watched in confusion as Loona transformed into her human disguise and walked up to the woman. She tapped on her shoulder to get her attention.
“Boo.” Loona said unenthusiastically.
Muriel screamed in pure horror before clutching her chest and falling backward. They watched in confused amazement as Loona checked her pulse. “She’s dead. Can we go now?” she asked before the mottled imp activated his crystal and opened a portal to headquarters. They still did not understand what just happened, but at least she was scared to death.
~Flashback ends~
“Loona figured out that she was so desensitized to legitimate scary things that maybe something not scary would work. And what better than a random person walking up to you and going boo? Walter and Muriel came and paid us before trying to set each other on fire” Moxxie finished his story. Causing everyone to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.
So far, this was Stolas’ favorite story. It was so romantic and funny. What’s more, some of the messages Blitz sent were during this assignment. He and Loona responded to those messages while the imp was getting him his meal.
“So do you guys have any good stories?” Millie asked the birds. So far, they’ve told their stories, it would be interesting if the Goetia had any good ones.
“Oh, I got one.” Vassago said. “So, one thing Stolas and used to do is go to the finals for ‘Magic Magicians’, right?” the group nodded, knowing about the old earth show that got cancelled a few years back. It was a national contest for magicians and illusionists, where a panel of judges voted on their act to see if they move onto the next round. Each round more and more people got voted out until there were eight contestants left. Then, the audience and viewers got to vote for their favorite amongst the eight finalists. The winner got a very large cash prize. “There was this one magician, Just Justine, who was a pretty good magician. In fact, we were fans of her performances ourselves and were planning on voting for her.”
“Groan… not this one” Stolas said putting a hand on his head, knowing what his friend was about to tell.
~Flashback~
Thirteen years ago…
Vassago and Stolas were in Hollywood (in their human disguises) where once again, they went to see the finals of ‘Magic Magicians’. They just finished watching the fifth contestant, Backbone Barry, somehow turn himself inside out before the host declared an intermission.
“Do you think he’ll be ok?” Vassago asked as they made their way backstage to their VIP room. One of the perks of being a demon with magic is that you didn’t need backstage passes on earth, just a hypnotizing spell.
“Probably not. Although I do hope he places at least” Stolas said, as he watched a pair of paramedics carry a gurney with the magician in question moaning in pain. “So, after the show, can we finally try…”
“Hey, is that Justine?” the disguised parrot interrupted, pointing to two women past the fleeing paramedics. Justine was a white woman in her late twenties with her hair dyed silver, up in an intricate hairstyle and was wearing a long, sparkly red dress. Behind her was an Asian woman in her early twenties, with slim black glasses, a bob haircut and short black dress. The Asian woman was struggling to carry a very large, metal box while Justine held nothing in her hands.
“Hurry up, Yucky! And be careful with that. It cost more than what you’re worth” they heard Justine say. That caught the two disguised birds off guard, considering she seemed so nice in the interviews and on her social media. Maybe she’s just stressed about her performance?
“I-it’s Yuki ma’am a-and I’m trying. Maybe, could you…”
“Hey! I don’t pay you to back talk me bitch. Now hurry up!” Justine demanded as they watched Yuki continue to struggle with the big box. “And take off those ugly glasses! I want to win this competition, and I can’t do that with your ugly mug!” Justine yelled. Vassago, being a glasses connoisseur himself, thought they were quite flattering on the girl.
The struggling woman gave the box a hard yank and stumbled, accidentally stepping on Justines long dress. “Oh, I see, so you’re trying to ruin my outfit now, are you?” she said as grabbed Yuki by the hair and threw her into a nearby dressing room, locking it as she entered.
“How dare you try to sabotage me, you ungrateful bitch!” They heard Justine yell all the way from where they were standing.
“I-I’m sor…Ahh!” They heard Yuki cry out in pain.
“Shut up! you worthless cunt. I will not have you sabotage me any longer. You’re fired!”
“Bu-but the act… Ah!” the now former assistant cried out.
“Hah! As if you actually contribute to anything! Anyone can just stand there and look pretty! I bet the next guy I find will be twice the assistant you are!” They heard her shout. The door opened and Justine stepped out, saw some stagehands and demanded that they help her set up.
Once she was gone, the disguised pair waited until they saw Yuki come out. She walked out, her dress torn, a red hand mark on her cheek and tears running down her face. They waited for a few minutes as she went to another dressing room and came back out in jeans and a hoodie before she made her way out to the audience to watch the rest of the show. Vassago turned to Stolas, who was clenching his fists, a furious look on his face. Vassago understood his anger.
Justine was just like Stella
*****
“Give it up for Just Justine!!!” The crowd roared as the seventh contestant; Just Justine made her way on stage.
“Thank you Thank you! Now, unfortunately, my poor sweet assistant had to leave me at the last minute for personal reasons, so I will need a volunteer from the audience. Do I have one?” she asked sweetly. (Bullshit, you hurt her then fired her!)
Several people stood up, shouting to try to her to get her attention. To Vassago’s surprise, Stolas stood up. Even more surprising, he saw the owl use an enticing spell to draw Justine’s attention to him. Stolas usually hated being the center of attention, especially with large crowds. “You! come on up!” she pointed at the disguised owl.
“Stolas, what’re you…” he trailed off as the owl briefly turned to him, showing glowing, red eyes and a mischievous smirk. Now he understood.
The crowd cheered as Stolas made his way on stage. “What’s your name tall, pale and handsome?” she asked, trailing a finger down his chest.
“Steven” Stolas answered timidly. Of course he used a fake name, didn’t want to be recognized by any demons now, did he?
“Well Steven, the first thing I’m gonna have you do is go in here. Ok sweetie?” she said sweetly, gesturing to the tall, metal box behind them. Stolas nodded before he went inside it. Justine closed and locked the owl inside, chaining the entire thing to prove he couldn’t escape. “Now I’m gonna turn Steven here into a cute tortoise” she told the crowd before doing some hand gestures, only for Stolas to use real magic to make a small door on the side of the box and crawl out with a large plush turtle in his hand. Justine was confused as to why the crowd was laughing only to turn in bewilderment as her gray-haired assistant approached her.
“Um, I found this in the box. Was I supposed to do something with it?” he asked innocently, holding up the plush, causing the crowd to laugh even harder. Justine gave a nervous smile to the crowd.
“Um… a-anyway. for my next trick, I’ll have you stand here and throw these.” She said taking the turtle, tossing it offstage and handing him about a dozen rings. “Now I’m gonna make fire fly around and go through the rings you toss, so just toss them real good.” She told him with a forced grin. Stolas smiled and nodded. That sounded easy enough.
She took out a lighter and made the flame grow to the size of a basketball before lifting the flame from the lighter and into the air. Soon she was maneuvering it, having it fly in loopty loops and zigzags, going through the rings the disguised owl was tossing. Sometimes he tossed them close to her and sometimes so high up, it almost touched the curtains on stage. The crowd was in awe, not paying attention to her lovely assistant. From where he was sitting, Vassago could see a tiny blue flame from Stolas’ fingertip as he made a small fire on Justines hair.
By the sixth ring, the flame was big enough to be noticeable. Justine only noticed the fire as soon as people started screaming. Stolas took that as a cue to throw the rest of his rings at her, guiding the fire to the hem of her dress, causing it to catch fire as well, before running offstage and grabbing a fire extinguisher. He sprayed the magician with it, completely dowsing her in the foam and extinguishing the fire.
“What the fuck was that?” she asked glaring at him.
“You caught fire” Stolas explained innocently, before spraying her briefly again as if he missed a spot. The crowd laughed and cheered at his actions while Justine just glared at him as he turned to smile and wave meekly at the crowd. Not only had he ruined her look and was messing up her act, but he was also stealing the crowd from her as well. She pulled him by his arm with enough force that he stumbled a bit, causing him to look at her.
“You’re damn lucky you’re cute, cuz you’re a crap assistant” Justine whisper yelled at him loud enough that the hidden microphones on stage could pick it up and the audience could hear. She ignored the crowd’s murmurs as she tried to compose herself. “For my next trick… I just need you to stand right here and not move. Can you do that, Steven?” she asked through gritted teeth.
“Probably” he said getting another laugh from the audience.
“Alright now I’m going to make eight of you. Even though one is more than enough” she said muttered “Ready?” she asked.
Before he could respond, she unleased a smoke bomb, hiding him from the audience. Vassago used his aura reading to see Stolas’ aura. The owl was using magic to conjure away the trick mirrors Justine had installed for her act. When the smoke dissipated, the crowd laughed, causing Justine to turn around. There was Stolas, just standing there, no duplicates or anything.
“What the… why’s there only one of you?” she asked bewildered. Stolas shrugged his shoulders with a confused look on his face. “You shouldn’t be alone!” she growled.
“Oh, I’m not. I’m with someone. He’s just in the audience” he reassured her, as he pointed to the parrot in the crowd, the audience roared with laughter at his innocence.
“Alright that’s it. I don’t know what you’re doing but enough’s enough!” Justine went over to him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt to bring him to eye level. “You are ruining my fucking act, you fucking dipshit!” she growled, forgetting the microphones on stage.
“You told me to stay still, and I did!” he defended himself. As far as the audience (save Vassago) knew, he hadn’t moved an inch.
“You worthless, sorry excuse of a man! How dare you ruin my act!” she shouted as she practically threw him off the stage. Stolas landed hard on the floor, causing the crowd to gasp that such an innocent man was treated so brutally. “Yucky! You did this didn’t you??? When I get my hands on you, you fucking cunt, not even the FBI will find your corpse!!!” Justine shouted, looking for her former assistant. Soon the crowd was booing at the cruel magician, some even started throwing their food and drinks at her.
“Get off the stage!” Vassago joined in the yelling before conjuring a rotten pumpkin and throwing it at her, using magic to make it explode as it hit her, covering her with the rotten vegetable. He would have gone all eldritch form on her, but he knew he shouldn’t around so many people. The crowd kept booing and throwing things at her, from food to shoes and even a blowup sex doll that looked like her. Vassago noticed a familiar woman running from the crowd, avoiding getting hit in the crossfire, to the downed owl as Justine tried running off stage, away from the mob.
As the crowd started to calm down from their riot, murmurs of concern soon filled the audience. Stolas still had not gotten up from where he lay on the ground. Surely, he wasn’t that badly hurt…right? Vassago got up and was making his way over to the owl when Yuki helped him stand up and his arm flung over her shoulder. The crowd cheered as the pair slowly made their way backstage.
“STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN” Vassago heard the crowd chant as he went backstage, hypnotizing security to let him pass. He couldn’t see Stolas behind the curtains, so maybe one of the rooms for the performers?
“Dark chocolate and hazelnut sounds delicious. But what if you threw in raspberry?” Vassago hears Stolas’ voice behind a door that had a gold star labeled VIP (their VIP room). He opened the door and found Stolas sitting in a director’s chair near a vanity, holding an icepack to his head, Yuki next to him. (Did he sustain a head injury?)
“Are you alright?” Vassago asked his friend, causing the pair to look up.
“No, I don’t think so… that mean woman called me names and ruffled my shirt” Stolas said dramatically. “But it’s nothing a little gelato can’t fix” Stolas said suggestively, causing the parrot to roll his eyes in amusement. (He’s fine)
There’s a gelato shop that Stolas had been wanting to try for some time, but Vassago has always refused to try it with him. One scoop cost $15 and to sample a flavor cost $1. They can easily afford it, but it’s the principle of things. “Thank you for your help miss…” he waited for her to say her name, as if he didn’t already know.
“Yuki” the former assistant said.
“Mr. Steven,” the group turned to the contest’s host, Michael Michaelwitz, entering the room. He was handsome, bald Black man in his late thirties, wearing snazzy suit. “On behalf of ‘Magical Magicians’, I’d like to offer my sincerest apologies for Justine’s behavior. Please know that she has been disqualified. Are you in need of medical assistance?” he asked.
“Oh, no I think I’m alright, thank you though” Stolas answered appreciatively.
“I’d like to offer you a gift card to ‘Get Gelato This’ as a way to make up for what happened tonight.” Vassago had to fight back the urge to facepalm. That was the name of the shop the owl wanted to try. Now he wasn’t sure if Stolas did all this to avenge Yuki or to get free gelato. “If there’s anything else we can do for you, just let me know” Michael offered with a kind smile as Stolas happily took the gift card.
“Thank you, Mr. Michaelwitz. And thank you, Miss Yuki. You’re very kind. The entertainment industry could use more people like you,” Stolas said while using an enticing spell on Michael.
“Are you looking for a job miss? My assistant is on maternity leave right now and I could use some help with the next season” Michael asked suddenly, not sure why he wanted to hire a woman he just met without an interview but felt she would be suited for it.
“Oh! Um… yes! Thank you!” Yuki said, not believing she got a new job in less than an hour. Michael handed her a business card. “Come to this address 8am Monday. I look forward to working with you” he said before leaving to let the crowd know Steven was ok and to announce the next act.
“Well, this calls for a celebration! Who’s up for gelato?!!” Stolas asked, holding up his gift card enthusiastically. Now Vassago facepalmed.
~Flashback Ends~
“We ended up taking Yuki with us to get gelato. Such a nice girl. She’s now Michael’s manager” Vassago finished his story. Blitz felt proud of his bird for avenging someone by humiliating their tormentor in public. But he didn’t like the way that he was treated on stage, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about enticing spells (He hasn’t used them on me, has he?)
“Wait…I remember that…. oh my gosh! That was you? I thought your human disguise looked familiar!” Moxxie cried out, remembering that episode. He never laughed so hard at that show, especially for the finals.
Stolas smiled shyly. “Yes well, it was worth it.” It really was. Yuki got a good job, Justine lost her fanbase and was forced to retire and Stolas finally got to try that amazing gelato place. Totally worth it.
“I got one.’ Via said, gaining everyone’s attention. “So, I was like eight or nine, when Dad, Vassago and I went camping. Now, I was obsessed with dragons…” The other two Goetia groaned, knowing where this was going. “And I really wanted to see one, but they told me dragons come out at night and maybe in the morning, when we go out for a hike, we could find one sleeping. But I really wanted to make friends with one. So, when they were asleep, I decided to go dragon hunting…”
~Flashback~
Nine years ago…
Via, dressed in pink pajamas, snuck out of the tent as quietly as she could. Judging by the men’s snoring, she snuck out successfully. With a flashlight and bag of marshmallows in hand, she set out on her quest. She was going to find a dragon and become a dragon tamer. If her movies taught her anything, dragons like it when you give them food, so hopefully they like marshmallows.
She didn’t know how long she walked, nor did she know where she was, but that’s ok. Once she found her dragon and tamed it, she would fly back to camp. She could just imagine her father and Vassago’s proud expressions as they watched her ride a dragon. Eventually, she spotted a large cave, and heard something in there, like heavy breathing.
“Hello, are there any dragons in here?” little Via asked. She shown her flashlight into the cave and, to her delight, saw what appeared to be a large scaly tail. The tail shifted and a large, yellow eye revealed itself to her, its slit pupil dilating as it turned to her in interest.
“I’m Via! Want some marshmallows?” she asked as she opened her bag and tossed a few to it. It opened its large mouth as the treats came near, snapping its jaw before lifting its massive head to stare down at the child. (Do all dragons have really long necks?) Her dragon wrapped its long tail around the child and brought it to its face, causing her to drop her bag and flashlight as she laughed in delight. (It’s gonna put me on its head! I’m a real dragon tamer!) Via’s smile turned into a look of confusion, then horror as the dragon opened its mouth. Wait… is it gonna eat her?
FWOOSH
Suddenly it let out a deafening cry of pain before dropping the owlet. She fell only to be caught by familiar blue magic. The magic pulled her out of the cave and into familiar arms.
“Daddy?” She looked up at her dad, dressed in blue pajamas, a determined look on his face as he feather traveled to a safe distance as the dragon came out of the cave. She looked at it in confusion. It didn’t have legs or wings like in her books or movies. Instead, it looked like a giant snake.
FWOOSH...FWOOSH
The giant creature started coming toward them when it screeched in pain again as a red magic hit it. She turned to see an orange pajama clad Vassago firing red balls of magic at it, trying to get its attention.
“Stay here” Stolas told her as he set her down behind a large rock before going back to help her godfather.
FWOOSH
He blasted it with blue magic, distracting the snake as Vassago got to a safe distance before he feather traveled to the parrot’s side. As the giant snake turned to the pair, roaring as it rushed to them, they teamed up and conjured a very large illusion of a creature with large wings. Via recognized it as the very thing that she was hunting… a dragon. The snake turned and fled back into the cave in fear before the pair used magic to cause the entrance to collapse. Now the giant snake won’t hurt anyone anymore. The pair feather traveled to the owlets hiding spot, a stern look on both their faces. She knew she was going to get a scolding.
“Octavia! What were you thinking? Sneaking off in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere? Feeding a wyrm?” her father scolded.
“But… worms are bugs. That was a dragon!” she explained.
“No that was a wyrm, not a worm. Its… like a dragon, but not really” he tried to explain.
“So… it was a dragon?” She was confused.
“Forget about dragons! Do you realize you put yourself in danger? You were nearly eaten by that thing!” Vassago scolded, catching her off guard. Normally he didn’t scold her. She realized that he was right, she was almost eaten by that monster.
“I’m sorry” she said looking down in shame. “I just wanted to see a real dragon” she explained, tears started forming now that it was all starting to set in.
Stolas knelt down to her, so he could meet her eyes. “Oh, my Starfire. Promise me that you won’t try anything like that again” she nodded. He smiled gently at her. “Now let’s get back to bed, shall we? We have a big day tomorrow.”
“We’re not going back home?” she asked. She was sure her father would punish her by canceling the rest of the trip.
“Oh, heavens no. So long as you promise to behave and not do this again” he told her. She nodded, making a promise to herself that she would be good for the rest of the trip. “But fair warning, once we get back home, you will be punished for this stunt.” He warned. She gulped in fear, hoping she wouldn’t have to organize his books again.
~End flashback~
"When we got home, dad made me write a fifteen-page, researched report on draconic beings. He gave me a B- on it” She grumbled, remembering one of the rare punishments her dad gave her, not happy with the grade, especially since she worked really hard on that paper.
“You didn’t properly site your sources Starfire” Stolas scolded gently as the others laughed.
“Alright, your turn birdy.” Blitz turned to the owl next to him.
“Fair enough.” He said, thinking of a story. Vassago’s going to hate him for this, but he told the Justine story, so it’s only fair.
“Well, several years ago, Vassago and I collected some meteoroids from a galaxy near a black hole and decided to do some experiments on them. We wanted to see how they would react with the magic of certain metals.” Stolas explained. Vassago’s eyes widened in horror as he realized what story this was. (He wouldn’t)
~Flashback~
Six years ago…
“Alright, so the orichalcum made the right one fly into the wall” Stolas said pointing to a large indent in said wall. “Mithril made the middle one vibrate, and adamantine cracked that one” Stolas read from their list as he gestured to the leftmost meteoroid. It had a very large crack running down the middle of it.
They were in Vassagos observatory, the walls were littered with wards, on the floor were three, meter sized meteoroids. There was a large ring surrounding each meteoroid. A trail of glyphs etched a path from each ring to one of three smaller rings about a yard away. The Goetia would put various metals in the smaller ring and use magic to connect it to the adjacent meteoroid and see what the metal would do to it.
“Silver, nothing. Pewter, nothing. Copper, nothing. Gallium made that one melt a bit.” Stolas continued to read gesturing to the middle meteoroid. Sure enough, the rock did look slightly melted.
“What if we tried something more volatile?” Vassago suggested from his spot near the damaged wall, fixing the ward on there. He needed to make sure it was strong enough for what he was about to suggest.
“Oh? You think cadmium or palladium?” Stolas asked, looking up from his list.
“I was thinking something even more volatile.” Vassago said suggestively causing the owl to tilt his head in confusion. “How about angelic steel?” he suggested causing Stolas’ eyes to widen.
That was the most dangerous metal they could think of. Who knows what would happen. For all they knew, it could cause a huge explosion. “Let’s do it” Stolas agreed eagerly. Vassago left via portal for a moment to get his angelic knife. He felt it was always handy to have one at home should his magic fail him, and he needed to defend himself. He would give one to Stolas, but knowing who he was married to, it felt safer that he didn’t have one in his palace.
Vassago placed the knife in the third small circle, leading to the meteoroid on the right. The two birds stood at a far enough distance before Vassago focused his mana and conjured the spell. The rune path glowed as it led to the right meteoroid. As the ring glowed, the magic from the metal entering the space rock, causing it to start glowing an ominous yellow glow. Vassago stopped his spell as they could feel raw magic and the blessed essence filling the room, draining their magic and making it hard to breath as the essence filled the air.
“Cough cough… we need to get… cough cough… it out of…cough cough…here” Vassago coughed out. Stolas didn’t need to be told twice.
“Open…cough cough… a portal! I’ll …cough cough…throw them out” He told the parrot. Vassago conjured a portal to somewhere, but with it hard to breath and his mana being drained, it was hard to know where. He saw stars beyond the threshold, so figured it was in space. Stolas used his magic to move the glowing meteoroid, but during a coughing fit he bumped it on the slightly melted meteoroid in the middle. Thiers eyes widened in horror as the second meteoroid started glowing.
“Oh fuck!” Vassago cried out, looking at the third, cracked meteoroid as it started glowing as well. It hadn’t even touched the others.
Stolas focused his magic on the first one again, the one that was glowing the brightest, as if it was going to explode. He flung it through the threshold before he tried to get the other ones. He felt his magic weaken; the blessed essence was taking its toll. Stolas’ vision was getting blurry as he was struggling to breathe. They were going to suffocate if they didn’t get the rest out.
Vassago’s portal was closing as his magic was being sapped. Stolas threw the slightly melted meteoroid with all his might, getting it out before his magic failed him. Just one more.
“I can’t… hold it.” Vassago told him. the portal was getting smaller. Stolas tried to grab the meteoroid with his magic, but he was struggling. With no other choice, he grabbed the cracked meteoroid with his hands, grateful that it wasn’t that big or heavy, before he stumbled to the portal. The space rock dissolved his gloves and burned his hands terribly before he threw it out the portal. With a sigh of relief and feeling his magic coming back to him, Stolas looked down out through the portal, curious to see where they sent the space rocks and whether they would explode or not. His pupils dilated in horror. Below him, he could see a series of lights below some clouds. It was a city. A large city. In the human realm.
“Fuck!” Stolas cried out in alarm. “Vassago, help me!” he cried out as he used enough magic to open another portal at a far distance, one to the black hole in a faraway galaxy, the one where they got the meteoroids from. Vassago stumbled up to the owl, looking through the portal and seeing where he opened it. He created a large enough forcefield to push the meteoroids at a breakneck speed, watching them head away from the city and into Stolas’ portal. Once the glowing space rocks went through the portal and into the blackhole, Stolas closed his portal before Vassago closed his. The two collapsed on their backs in exhaustion as they felt their magic start to return. They lay there panting, able to breathe again as the blessed essence dissipated from the room. They’ll have to do a cleansing ritual on the room with damned essence and natural magic, but for now, they needed a rest.
“Now…what?” Stolas asked as he tried to regulate his breathing.
“Wanna… order a movie… and watch pizza?’ Vassago asked, exhaustedly.
“Don’t you mean…. watch a movie…. and order pizza?” Stolas asked, equally exhausted.
“Fine… we’ll do your idea”
*****
The next night…
Vassago and Stolas were called to an emergency council meeting. Apparently, there was an anomaly that the council needed to discuss. So here they were, all council members (seventy-two goetia and the seven deadly sins), watching the video of the anomaly.
: Are you seeing this?” a male voice could be heard as three glowing orbs appeared in the cloudy night sky. They appeared to be falling to earth before they flew away at breakneck speed before disappearing into another cloud. “What the fuck, man?” the voice asked as the mysterious lights disappeared.:
The council was in an uproar as the video finished playing. There were several other similar videos taken last night from the same city. Thousands had seen those lights, yet no one could explain them.
The council was torn as to what it was themselves. Some believed it was a human flying drones as a prank, but that wouldn’t explain the speed or how they disappeared like that. Some thought it was alien life, making its way to earth for research or to make themselves known for either a treaty or to enslave mankind. But that wasn’t supposed to happen for several more centuries (according to the prophecies anyway.) Others believed that it was a prank from some demons, but you would need magic to do that stunt, and whoever did that could get in big trouble for revealing themselves to the mortal realm. No one was that stupid, right?
“Some of my people in the city claimed they felt blessed essence when that thing showed up” Asmodeus said from his spot in the center of the room, where all the sins were sitting, with the king of hell in the very center of the table.
“Could it be the work of the exterminators?” Ipos, a goose goetia asked from his spot.
“Do you think they’re testing a new weapon for extermination day?” Halphus the stock dove asked.
“If that’s the case, who’s to say they’re not gonna start attacking hellborn” Leviathan suggested, causing worrying murmurs throughout the council chamber. Vassago and Stolas gave each other with a worried look. From an outside perspective, it would seem they were worried about the suggested threat, but in reality, only they knew what truly happened.
‘Enough!” Lucifer declared, rising from his spot. “We will continue an investigation on this anomaly. But for now, Sins, call back your earthbound agents for their safety. I also want you to place wards and barriers for your respective rings. As of today, there will be a lockdown. We may need to do a damning ritual if it truly is a threat to all of hell.” the sins all nodded in understanding. “Everyone else, have your legions at the ready. We will protect our kingdom!” Lucifer ordered.
“Yes Sir!” Everyone shouted as the meeting ended.
*****
Stolas was sitting at a table in the corner of the reception hall with a bottle of absinthe and two shot glasses. Normally after a council meeting, everyone would meet here to drink and mingle. But after tonight’s meeting, everyone seemed to be on edge. He and Vassago decided to just share a bottle of absinthe instead of drinking one each, like they normally do. They didn’t want to get too drunk here, lest they accidentally mention what they did yesterday. Vassago had left to use the bathroom, leaving Stolas by himself, just for a few minutes. He’ll be fine. Afterall, what could happen in just a few minutes?
“Oh dear, drinking all alone? Has Vassago finally abandoned you, Stolas?” a familiar asked as the owner walked over to him, causing the owl to frown. Of course, he could happen in just a few minutes.
“He went to the bathroom, Andrealphus” the owl said as he reached for the absinthe, not bothering to turn to his brother-in-law. The owl winced a bit as he picked up the bottle to refill his glass, an action that was noticed by a certain peacock.
“Are you alright, dear brother-in-law? You look as if you’re in pain.” Stolas scowled as he felt a hand on his shoulder. (Seriously, does this man not understand the concept of personal space?)
“Yes, I am quite fine, Andrealphus.” Stolas said without looking at the peacock, trying not to wince as he refilled his glass and downed his shot. He was hoping to just split a bottle with Vassago, so not to get too drunk, but now it seemed he might need a bottle or three for himself.
His relief when his brother-in-law took his hand off him turned to annoyance as he grabbed the owl’s wrist and pulled it closer to him.
“Can I help you?’ the owl asked as the peacock took off his glove, seeing his bandaged hand underneath.
“My, whatever happened to your hand Stolas?” he asked curiously before the owl pulled it from his grip.
“Nothing for you to be concerned about.” he said trying to grab his glove, only for Andrealphus to toss it aside, causing the owl to give him a dirty look.
“Stolas, what happened to your hand?” He turned to see Naberius, Caim and Shax approaching them.
“Just an accident from yesterday, nothing to be worried about.” he reassured before Adrealphus grabbed his other hand and took off the glove, revealing the bandages underneath. “What do you think you’re doing?” Stolas asked loud enough for some of the other council members to take notice. He tried pulling his hand away only for the peacock to tighten his grip as he inspected the bandage. He couldn’t believe his brother-in-law was practically undressing him in front of the other members.
“Oh my, you were being a klutz again, weren’t you, Stolas?” Andrealphus scolded playfully.
“Let go of me” Stolas demanded as he tried to take back his arm, but the peacock infused his hand with magic, strengthening his hold on the owl.
“You must take better care of yourself. One day you could end up day dead if you’re not careful” Andrealphus scolded him as he continued to inspect the hand, tracing his bandaged palm with a finger. (Did he just threaten my life in public?)
“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself thank you very much.” He told his brother-in-law as the other three came closer to take a look at his bandaged hands, an intrigued look on their faces.
“Get off him Andrealphus.” The group turned to see Vassago approaching them. It was enough distraction for the owl to pull his hand away.
“Vassago, you let him hurt himself? For shame” Naberius scolded the parrot, causing the others to scowl judgmentally at him at him (granted, Andrealphus normally scowled at Vassago).
“The least you could do is protect our precious little Stolas” Caim said as he joined Adrealphus in invading the owl’s personal bubble by draping his arms around him.
“Please get off me” Stolas begged only to be ignored.
“Not a very considerate lover, are you?” Shax scolded, as Naberius, and Shax shook their heads disapprovingly at the parrot.
“Hey, it’s not like that” Stolas defended the parrot.
“Oh. You like it rough, don’t you? Well, that’s fine I suppose. But do try to be careful. You don’t want to damage that lovely body of yours too much.” Naberius said lustfully, as he traced a finger on the owl’s chest before trailing it down, while Caim and Shax stared at the owl lecherously. Andrealphus was hiding his own expression behind a hand.
“We don’t do…” Vassago tried to explain, once again, that there was nothing sexual going on between the two of them, only for the group to ignore him. Shax took one of Stolas’ hands.
“Don’t worry sweetie, I know just what you need.” The stork told him suggestively, caressing his face. “Now let me see your…” he said before as he started undoing the bandage, only for the owl to take his hand back.
“No thanks. Really, I’m fine” he said uncomfortably, shaking off his ‘fanclub’ and standing up, trying to put some distance between him and the others.
“Why don’t you come home with me tonight, Stolas. I’ll take good care of you” the raven offered with a wink, walking closer to the owl as he stepped backwards. More demons were watching them now.
“Oh, um a generous offer, but I must decline.” the owl said holding his hands up as he continued to back away. He stepped on the glove that Andrealphus discarded earlier causing him to slip and stumble a bit.
“Careful now. You’ll hurt yourself. Although I’d be more than happy to nurse you back to health” Shax said. The owl shook his head while simultaneously giving Vassago a pleading look.
“Leave him alone. He said no,” Vassago said, trying to get to Stolas only for him to be ignored and pushed back by the group. From behind the parrot, the owl saw some of the sins on the other side of the room watching them. Asmodeus frowned before setting down his drink and started walking toward them.
“Come here. I’ll make you feel real good!” Caim said suggestively, reaching for the owl, causing the others to look at him questioningly. “Um, I mean… your hands. I’ll make your hands feel good.”
“Um…no” an uncomfortable Stolas told him bluntly before backing up into a wall. The group came closer to him, reaching for him, trying to entice him to come with them.
“Get away from him, he’s not interested.” Vassago tried to get to his friend, pulling at Naberius, only for the raven to use magic to shove him several feet away. Now the entire reception hall was watching them.
“Stop! Get away from me!” Stolas’ eyes dilated as he felt someone briefly cup his crotch before Andrealphus grabbed one of his wrists again and pulled the bandage loose enough to fall off.
“Relax, you wouldn’t want to…”
“STOP IT!!!” Stolas shouted as he briefly turned into his eldritch form, causing Andrealphus to let go and his tormentors to step back. The room went silent. Stolas only noticed everyone was watching him as he turned back into his normal form.
“Eh… nothing to see here” Vassago said to the onlookers before pushing the stunned group out of the way to get to Stolas.
“Sigh… no need to be rude Stolas, we just want what’s best for you.” Andrealphus said dramatically while flinging an arm around the owl, pulling him close (Yeah, I bet you do). Stolas quickly extracted himself.
“I appreciate the concern, but I can handle myself. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” He excused himself before making his way out of the reception hall, ignoring the concerned and judgmental murmurs of the council members, (he was grateful that Stella was not present, she would just have a field day with this). He didn’t look to see if Vassago was following him, nor did he notice Asmodeus’ concerned faces as he passed the sin. He just needed to get out of there. The only reason he didn’t feather travel or portal out was because he didn’t want to show any more weakness than he already had. He didn’t want Andrealphus to know how much he got under his skin.
He made his way out of the hall and went into the bathroom. He locked himself in there, hooting quietly in distress for a few minutes, before he stepped out again. Better head back in there. He needed to get his gloves and maybe he could convince Vassago to go home with him so they could get drunk. He really wanted to forget this night. He placed his hands on the door handles and took a deep breath, ready to open them before a voice called to him.
“Prince Stolas, do you have a moment.” The owl turned to see the king of hell approaching.
“Your highness, is there something you need?” Stolas asked with a bow.
“I’d like to have a word with you for a moment” Lucifer told him, gesturing to him to follow. (Great, now I’m in trouble). He followed the king to a private conference room, one that was usually reserved for the sins or certain chosen council men to debate in. Once the doors were locked, the king turned to him.
“I would have spoken with you in the reception hall, but I figured you’d like somewhere a bit more private. Quite the spectacle in there, by the way.” the king commented.
“I apologize for that. I truly did not mean to cause a scene, I was just…” Stolas tried to apologize, only for the king to hold up a hand in silence.
“No need for that, you were justified. They looked like they were ready to jump you” Lucifer told him.
“I know, it’s so strange. They don’t normally behave like this around me” Vassago told him they really, really liked Stolas, but he didn’t really understand just how much the three liked him. He thought Naberius, Shax and Caim were friendly acquaintances or allies, not perverted owl molesters.
“Everyone seems out of sorts after the meeting. Which brings me to why I wanted to speak to you. I’ve heard you have heavenly plants in your possession. Is that correct?” Lucifer asked.
“Um...y-yes your highness” Stolas answered nervously, not understanding where this was going. He didn’t think he would get in trouble for having those, they were kept safely away from the public and he knew of a few others that had heavenly plants.
“By any chance do you have heavenly apple trees? If the sins need to do damning rituals, we will need blessed apples to fortify the spells.” The king of hell explained
“Oh, o-of course your highness. I do have a heavenly apple tree. Just let me know how many you need” he agreed, thankful that he wasn’t getting in trouble for his plants.
“Thank you. We’ll need as many as possible. By the way, what happened to your hands?” Lucifer asked, seeing the owl’s injured hands, specifically the one that was no longer bandaged.
“Oh, um… just an accident yesterday, nothing to worry about, your sinfulness” Stolas said nervously. The king of hell looked at him with a suspicious look. (Crap…he knows!)
“Anyway, your highness, the apples, yes? I’ll have them ready for you by tomorrow” Stolas reassured.
“Excellent. Bring them to my palace. I look forward to seeing you then.” he said before turning and leaving. With a sigh of relief that he wasn’t in trouble for making a scene or for harboring his plants, he made his way back into the reception hall where he found Vassago near the door, the owl’s gloves in hand.
“Here. You ok?” Vassago asked as he handed the gloves back to his friend. Stolas nodded.
“I’ll live. What’s going on over there?” he asked while putting his gloves back on, watching as the king of lust appeared to be scolding his tormentors.
“It doesn’t matter!No is a complete sentence! You do not just touch someone without their consent or try to coerce them to fuck !” they heard Asmodeus yell at the four goetia, who looked like petulant children getting scolded for breaking a rule.
“Oh, Asmodeus came to see what happened and I let him know those four don’t understand the concept of consent.” Vassago said with a smirk as they heard the sins scolding. Most of the other nobles and sins in the reception hall were watching the scene with amusement. Stolas could hear some of the other council members whispering to each other.
“Did they really just say, blame the anomaly for their behavior? How disgusting.”
"Stolas hurt his hands? That's their reason for cornering him like that?"
“After what they did to poor Stolas, they deserve worse than a tongue lashing.”
“Good to know the sin of lust has that owl’s back”
“How disgraceful. I can’t believe they were molesting that poor owl like that”
“I knew they all liked Stolas, but I never thought they’d do that to him.”
“When will those four realize Stolas chose Vassago and move on?” (Wait… those four?)
“I can’t believe they did that. And right in front of Vassago? You know how protective they are of each other.”
“I know Andrealphus has the hots for Stolas but come on. That was too much, even for him” (Great. First my love affair with Vassago, now Andrealphus loves me? Where are these rumors coming from?)
Stolas and Vassago watched in amusement as Andrealphus glared at the pair during the king of lust’s lecture. “By the way, I saw you leave with the king when I went to find you. What did he want?” Vassago asked.
“He just wants some blessed apples delivered to him tomorrow.” He told his friend.
“Hey, birdy babe, you doin’ alright?” They turned to see Asmodeus approaching them.
‘Oh, yes your highness. I’m fine” Stolas reassured.
“That’s good to hear. Now I had a few words with your admirers” Asmodeus gestured to the group, who were watching the owl and the sin. “I let them know that lust shouldn’t be forced but consented. So, if they need another lesson, you just let me know, alright birdie babe?” the sin told him.
“Oh, um yes. Thank you” Stolas thanked him before the king of lust smiled and walked away.
“Here sweetie, a little pick me up for you.” Beelzebub appeared before them, a bottle of absinthe in each hand. She practically shoved the four bottles into the owls’ arms before giving him a wink and buzzing off before they could say anything.
“So, um…are you ready to go?” Vassago asked as they saw the group, save for Andrealphus, heading toward them, an apologetic look on their faces. The owl really didn’t want to have to deal with them right now.
“Very much so.” Stolas agreed as Vassago opened a portal to his palace before they crossed the threshold.
*****
The next day…
Stolas brought a bucketful of golden, blessed apples to Lucifer’s palace. He intended to just drop off the apples when he was stopped by hellhound guards. “The king wishes to speak to you in private.” One of the guards said before guiding the owl to a large door. One of the guards knocked on the door. “Your highness, Prince Stolas is here to see you”
“Let him in” the king could be heard on the other side. The door opened and the prince nervously went inside, the door closing behind him. The room was filled with rubber ducks, portraits of the royal family hanging from a wall and the king of hell himself was at a workbench, working on his latest creation.
“I-I have the blessed apples you requested your highness” Stolas said nervously, holding up the bucket containing the requested goods before placing them on the floor.
“How’re your hands?” the king asked, not looking up from his work.
“Oh, um… they’re fine my lord. Thank you for your concern.” He thanked the king. His hands were still bandaged but the burns were better.
“So, how’d you do it? I doubt it was from a heavenly plant, unless you weren’t careful. But from what I heard, you’re quite the gardener, so that’s not it. Maybe a blessed knife? No, those were burns. So, what happened?” The king looked over his shoulder now, eyeing the owl suspiciously.
“I-I don’t…”
“Did you forget that I was an angel? Or that I witness Extermination Day every year? I know what blessed wounds look like on a demon. I can still sense some of the essence on you by the way.” The king explained as he now turned to the owl. “You wouldn’t have had anything to do with this anomaly now, would you?” he asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow at the owl. Stolas knew he would have to come clean.
He explained his experiment and how he burned his hands trying to get the meteoroids out. He told the king that it was an accident that they were sent to the human realm before he fixed it and hurled them through a second portal into a blackhole. He didn’t mention Vassago’s involvement, hoping that at least one of them would be spared the king’s wrath.
“That’s it? Just an experiment gone wrong?” the king asked the owl who nodded, ready to face whatever punishment the king had in store. He was surprised when Lucifer suddenly started laughing.
“Um… I-I apologize for the trouble I’ve caused, your highness. I…” the king held up his hand to silence the owl as he calmed down a bit from laughter.
“You seem genuine, so I’m gonna let you off with a warning this time. But you are to never do this ever again. Understand?” the king ordered amused. Stolas nodded, he didn’t plan on using angelic weapons for his experiments anytime soon.
“Th-thank you your highness. But what about…”
“I’ll handle everything. And don’t worry, I won’t tell them of your involvement” the king said kindly causing the owl to sigh in relief.
“Thank you, my king,” Stolas bowed to him.
“Now then, there’s just one last thing I need to know.” The king said turning to grab what he was working on before turning to the confused owl again. “What do you think of my latest creation?” the king asked him eagerly, holding up a rubber duck wearing a hat that looked very similar to Stolas’.
~End flashback~
“He ended up giving me a rubber duck and sent me on my way. No one ever found out that we caused the anomaly or the lockdown that followed” Stolas finished his story. Everyone just looked at him with shock, except Vassago, who gave him an unamused look that Stolas told them that. (Did I say something wrong?)
“Are you serious? You guys caused that lockdown?” Blitz looked at him in bewilderment before he burst into laughter, everyone else following him. He remembered that lockdown very well. No one could get to the human world or through the other rings, everyone was looting or buying in bulk in order to be fully stocked when they hunkered down, and there was just mass chaos everywhere. Some of the craziest three days of his life.
“What did the king tell everyone?” Via asked. She remembered the servants being on edge for several days before everyone was suddenly back to their normal selves.
“He said it was some sort of new weapon being tested by a nearby military base. As for the heavenly essence, he said there were some cherubs spotted around the city.” Vassago told them with an amused smirk, causing the group to laugh even harder at the lie. The king was awesome. (Stolas’ admirers, not so much, but Blitz can always shoot the birds if they try anything)
Blitz couldn’t believe the stories. First, Stolas humiliated a magician to avenge a human and get free gelato (What is gelato anyway?), then he fought off a wyrm (the dragon kind, not the bug, although he’s probably fought off many of those in his garden as well) to save his kid, and now, he caused mass hysteria in hell and got away with it? His bird was fucking amazing!
He gazed back at the owl, who was laughing with the others. He loved this owl.
*****
Later that night…
It was late and everyone was asleep, just as he should be. Instead, he was watching the imp next to him sleep. Blitz offered to stay with the owl tonight, which he gladly accepted.
Stolas couldn’t believe the day he had. He became official friends and, in Loona’s case, family with the members of I.M.P., Blitz had defended him from Stella (in his own unique way), and both Blitz and Via learned about his depression and hadn’t shunned him for it.
Speaking of the mottled imp, he shifted in his sleep, flinging an arm around the owl. Stolas grimaced at the rough contact before smiling.
He still couldn’t believe that Blitz might actually truly care about him. Millie’s video and the messages he received proved that the imp missed him during the super blue blood moon ritual, and the fact that he visited him while he was in the hospital was unbelievable. (Will he still care when I end the arrangement? Can this be the start to an actual relationship, or am I just being naïve and reading it wrong? Once this is all over, I’ll talk to him about ending our deal.)
Once again, the mottled imp shifted in his sleep, cuddling up to the owl, muttering something about feathers and horses. With a final smile, Stolas closed his eyes and followed the imp into the blissfulness of sleep.
Chapter 45: The Library
Chapter Text
The next morning…
Vassago made his way to the owl’s room. He needed to check his mana levels and change his bandages. Hopefully his body healed enough where they were no longer needed. He was just outside the door, ready to knock when he heard the two on the other side speaking.
“Please Blitzy?" he heard Stolas ask.
“No.” he heard Blitz tell the owl sternly.
“But I need it” Stolas begged.
“No, you want it. You don’t need it. And quite frankly, I’m not sure you deserve it” (Please tell me they’re not doing what I think they’re doing)
“Whine… but Blitzy…”
“No. I warned you what would happen, and you didn’t listen. You were a bad boy, so you this is your punishment.” he heard the imp scold.
“But you said if I’m a good boy I can have it. And I’ve been good, haven’t I?” Stolas pleaded his case.
“Hmm… alright. I suppose you…”
Vassago entered without waiting for an invite, ready to stop the pair. Stolas isn’t in any condition for this kind of thing. He was about to scold them for having sex when one of them was not well enough for that, only to pause at the scene in front of them. Stolas was sitting in bed, a blanket draped over his lap. Blitz was standing next to the dresser, the owl’s phone in hand. The two stared at the parrot in confusion.
“…What’re you doing?” Vassago finally got out.
“He took my phone last night and won’t give it back.” Stolas tattled to the parrot.
“Hey, I wouldn’t have taken it if you would’ve stopped blowing up my phone like I asked.” The imp scolded as walked back over to the bed, holding it out of Stolas’ reach. “Now, you’re not gonna blow it up again, are you?” the imp asked.
“No” Stolas said as he tried making a grab for his phone, only for the imp to step away.
“And you’re not gonna have someone else blow it up for you, are you?” the imp asked. He wanted to make sure he couldn’t use that loophole again.
“Sigh… no” Stolas reluctantly said, not happy he couldn't have any more fun responding to the imps’ messages. Satisfied, the imp gave the phone back to the owl. “Thank you Blitzy.” Stolas thanked him, happy that he now had the device back.
“Um, anyway… I need to check your mana and change your bandages” Vassago told the owl, a little embarrassed at what he thought he heard.
“Um alright, could you help me to the bathroom first though?” Stolas asked. The parrot nodded as he went over to the owl.
“Need some help?’ Blitz asked, causing Stolas to give him a look.
“It’s… the bathroom darling. I think I can manage on my own; I just need help getting there is all.” Stolas explained. Vassago was the best option anyway, with them being near the same height and all. “Why don’t you find that book I told you about yesterday. The one about the horse? We can read it later if you’d like.” Stolas suggested.
“Already tired of me?” the imp teased.
“No darling, never.” Stolas said with a smile
“Alright what’s it called again?”
“Grey Beauty” the owl told him.
"Ok I can do that. Have fun going to the bathroom” Blitz told him before heading out, leaving the other two to watch him go in confusion.
“Um, ok…” Was all Vassago said as he went over to help the owl stand.
*****
Blitz made his way to the library. He was walking past the living room when he spotted the others in there, all sitting on the couch.
“Ok, I think I found it. Try Just Steven. Steven with a v, not a ph” Via said before looking up on her phone.
“Watcha doing?” Blitz asked walking over to the group.
“Finding a video of dad from ‘Magic Magicians’” she told him as he turned to the t.v. Looks like they were on Voxtube and Moxxie was typing Just Steven with the remote. “Ok, it’s the third one down.” She told him as he selected it.
: “Give it up for Just Justine!!!” The crowd roared as a white woman with a long sparkly red dress and silver hair in an intricate hairstyle appeared, a large metal box behind her.
“Thank you Thank you! Now, unfortunately, my poor sweet assistant had to leave me at the last minute for personal reasons, so I will need a volunteer from the audience. Do I have one?” she asked sweetly as she looked around for a volunteer.
“You! come on up!” she pointed at someone in the crowd. The crowd cheered as a tall, gray-haired man made his way on stage. “What’s your name tall, pale and handsome?” she asked, trailing a finger down his chest.
“Steven” he answered timidly.
“Well Steven, the first thing I’m gonna have you do is go in here. Ok sweetie?” she said sweetly, gesturing to the tall, metal box behind them. Steven nodded before he went inside it. Justine closed and locked the man inside, chaining the entire thing to prove he couldn’t escape. “Now I’m gonna turn Steven here into a cute tortoise” she told the crowd before doing some hand gestures, only for Steven to crawl out through a small door on the side of the box, a large plush turtle in his hand. The crowd laughed as Justine turned as the man walked up to her.
“Um, I found this in the box. Was I supposed to do something with it?” he asked innocently, holding up the plush, causing the crowd to laugh even harder. Justine gave a nervous smile to the crowd.:
“Giggle… he’s such a dork” Via giggled, seeing her dad on the t.v. the others chuckled at his antics.
“Where’d he get that thing anyway?” Blitz asked, an amused look on his face.
“I dunno… magic?” Via said as if that explained everything, which it did.
“Um… a-anyway. for my next trick, I’ll have you stand here and throw these.” She said taking the turtle, tossing it offstage and handing him about a dozen rings. “Now I’m gonna make fire fly around and go through the rings you toss, so just toss them real good.” She told him with a forced grin. Steven smiled and nodded.
She took out a lighter and made the flame grow to the size of a basketball before lifting the flame from the lighter and into the air. Soon she was maneuvering it, having it fly in loopty loops and zigzags, going through the rings the disguised owl was tossing. Sometimes he tossed them close to her and sometimes so high up, it almost touched the curtains on stage. Awes could be heard from the crowd, no one noticing the small flame in her hair until it was large enough that people couldn’t miss it and started screaming.
Steven threw the rest of his rings at her, guiding the fire to the hem of her dress, causing it to catch fire as well, before running offstage and grabbing a fire extinguisher. He sprayed the magician with it, completely dowsing her in the foam and extinguishing the fire.
“What the fuck was that?” she asked glaring at him.
“You caught fire” Steven explained innocently, before spraying her briefly again as if he missed a spot. The crowd laughed and cheered at his actions while Justine just glared at him as he turned to smile and wave meekly at the crowd.:
“Hahahaha!!! He… he really did that?” Millie asked between laughs. Everyone was laughing at the owl.
: Justine pulled Steven by his arm with enough force that he stumbled a bit, causing him to look at her. “You’re damn lucky you’re cute, cuz you’re a crap assistant” Justine whisper yelled at him loud enough that the hidden microphones on stage could pick it up and the audience could hear, before she tried to compose herself. “For my next trick… I just need you to stand right here and not move. Can you do that, Steven?” she asked through gritted teeth.
“Probably” he said getting another laugh from the audience. :
The group smirked at his reply, with Blitz frowning at her treatment of the owl.
:“Alright now I’m going to make eight of you. Even though one is more than enough” she said muttered “Ready?” she asked.
Before he could respond, she unleased a smoke bomb, hiding him from the audience. When the smoke dissipated, the crowd laughed, causing Justine to turn around. There was Steven, just standing there, no duplicates or anything.
“What the… why’s there only one of you?” she asked bewildered. Steven shrugged his shoulders with a confused look on his face. “You shouldn’t be alone!” she growled.
“Oh, I’m not. I’m with someone. He’s just in the audience” he reassured her, as he pointed to the crowd, the audience roared with laughter at his innocence.:
The group laughed, that’s one way to sabotage someone.
:“Alright that’s it. I don’t know what you’re doing but enough’s enough!” Justine went over to him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt to bring him to eye level. “You are ruining my fucking act, you fucking dipshit!” she growled, forgetting the microphones on stage.
“You told me to stay still, and I did!” he defended himself.
“You worthless, sorry excuse of a man! How dare you ruin my act!” she shouted as she practically threw him off the stage. Steven landed hard on the floor, causing the crowd to gasp in horror. “Yucky! You did this didn’t you??? When I get my hands on you, you fucking cunt, not even the FBI will find your corpse!!!” Justine shouted, looking around in the audience. Soon the crowd was booing at the cruel magician, some even started throwing things at her, including rotten pumpkin that exploded as it hit her, food, shoes and even a blowup sex doll that looked like her. Meanwhile, a woman could be seen avoiding the crossfire as she went to the downed man.:
Blitz and Loona growled as they saw the treatment of the owl. Moxxie and Millie frowned and booed at the screen and Via threw a pillow at the t.v.
“Get off the stage!” she shouted, causing the others to look at her. “What?”she asked.
:As the crowd started to calm down from their riot, murmurs of concern soon filled the audience as the camera panned to the man on the ground, the woman crouched next to him before she helped him stand up, his arm flung over her shoulder. The crowd cheered as the pair slowly made their way backstage.
“STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN” the crowd chanted as the pair disappeared behind the curtains.
“Well, it seems that the real winner here is Steven.” Michael Michaelwitz told the camera with a smile before the screen faded to black and white letters appeared.
Just Justine was disqualified from Magical Magicians. Bonnie the Bunny was declared the winner, but we all know who the real winner was here.
The screen then paned to a window where Steven, the woman that helped him and a red-haired man with some gaudy glasses were eating what looked like bowls of ice cream. The camera zoomed onto Steven’s face as he smiled and laughed at something:
“Gelato’s ice cream?” Blitz asked in confusion. Somehow the fact that his owl did this for ice cream made it all the funnier.
“It’s like ice cream sir, but denser” Moxxie explained.
‘Oh, look up Rip Just Justine” Loona suggested as Moxxie typed it in.
“Fourth one down” Loona told him as he clicked on the video in question.
: A white woman with vibrant purple hair in a bob cut, heavy, glittery makeup and a white cocktail dress appeared in a room that looked like half laundry room, half BDSM chamber. “Hey this is Just Justine, sending my audition for ‘Gathering Magicians’. So, you may remember me from ‘Magic Magicians’ and I just wanna say, that I’m truly sorry for what I did to that poor man, Sebastian.”
“Steven” a female voice corrected her.
“Shut up Virgin” Justine growled.
“It’s Virginia, Justy” the voice growled back.
“Hey I don’t need attitude for you, Virgin, so just do your fucking job and shut the fuck up”
“Hey, I’m not the one that’s unemployed and living in mom and dad’s basement cuz I assaulted someone on national t.v. Now hurry up, I need to go home and do laundry” Virginia said, causing her to glare at the camerawoman.:
The group smirked in satisfaction to see the former magic, seeing how she suffered.
: “Sigh… whatever. Just edit out the bad stuff, will ya?” Justine demanded. “Ahem… now here’s something to get all you fantasy lovers all horny” Justine smiled toward the camera.
“Eww” Virgina said, causing the magician to glare at her before Justine whipped out two swords. She maneuvered her hands, making the swords appeared to be floating. If you looked carefully, you could see very slim wires attached to her fingers and the swords. She made it appear as if the swords started fighting in the air before one of the wires was cut. The now detached sword sliced the magician’s head off before the other dropped into the stump of her neck.
“Shit!!! MMMOOOOMMMM!!!” Virgina screamed as she dropped the camera. The device showed a woman with blond hair and in a blue sundress running up some rickety old stairs in fear:
The group laughed at the woman’s decapitation.
“Hey Mox, didn’t we see a sinner at Hellmart the other day that looked like her?” Millie asked.
“Oh yea!” Moxxie said, remembering a purple sinner with a swordlike neck and a familiar, heavily glittery makeup face.
“Was she one of the ones you fought off for the toaster?” Blitz asked curiously. He hoped they didn’t kill her, he wanted to do it.
“No, she was a cashier” Millie said. Blitz roared in laughter at that. He supposed he could spare her. Afterall, what’s worse than being a cashier at Hellmart? Deciding he kept the owl waiting long enough, he left the group to go find the requested book.
“Where you goin' B?” Millie asked.
“To the library for a book Stolas said I might like to read.” he told them as he continued on his way, shocking the group.
“He’s lookin'… for a book?” Millie asked
“He wants to read a book?” Moxxie asked.
“He can read?” Via asked.
“I heard that!” the mottled imp shouted from the down the hall.
*****
Blitz entered the library and looked at it in amazement. It was a very large room with three floors. Each floor had four rows of bookshelves that reached to the next floor with the third floor reaching to the ceiling. On the ground floor there were seven rows of bookcases that reached the ceiling in the center of the room. There were three large windows with the curtains drawn and a cozy reading nook in the corner near one of the windows. Near the back of the room was a large bookcase behind a locked, bulletproof glass window. These books were very rare, very important and valuable. There were five filing cabinets near the reading nook that contained alphabetized index cards that would make it easier to find whatever book or topic you were looking for. For a book lover like Stolas, it was paradise. Blitz was glad he didn’t have to organize the library; it would take him days, if not weeks, to do it.
He made his way to the filing cabinet and went to the H’s, finding a card that said horses. There were four hundred eighty-seven books about horses here. Thankfully, the titles were all alphabetized and he was able to find Gray Beauty. Third floor, bookshelf two row C. He was about to head over there, when he had another thought. He took a picture of the card so he wouldn’t forget the location before putting it back and opening the P’s.
He looked and found a card for ponies and one for Pegasus. (Not what he was looking for but didn’t hurt to take pictures of those cards as well). With some difficulty, (since he didn’t really know how to spell the word) he finally found the card for purification. He had to know what scared the sin of lust, what Stolas had gone through. There was only one book on the card: Grade X Rituals: A guide to rituals using the three types of magic, and it was in the locked bookcase. He put the card back and went to the location The door was locked, but it didn’t look like there were any wards or anything, just a big fancy lock. Luckily, he knew how to pick those.
click
He took the lock off and placed it on the floor, before spotting the book on the third shelf. It was a thick brown book with gold bindings and a seal of Solomon on the cover. He carefully climbed the shelf and grabbed his prize before hopping down. He opened the front cover to an index and found the p’s.
(Planaresis…Polymorphosis… Purging… Purification! Page five hundred fifty-nine.) He flipped to that page and found the ritual. He didn’t read the description or any of the instructions; the pictures were enough. The first page had a colored, detailed diagram of the etchings and crystals he saw in the observatory. The next a few pages later, there was a colored diagram showing a raven goetia forcing a bluejay goetia to drink something black. The next image a few pages later showed the raven carving glyphs into the bluejay with two knives, a seal on both their heads. It then showed the raven in his eldritch form while the bluejay was lifted into the air, surrounded by something black (magic?) coming from two thick books on either side of the vessel. The look on the bluejay’s tear streaked face was pure, unadulterated pain. (This is what he went through? Oh, Stols) He flipped through to the next page, bracing himself for whatever was next, but it started another ritual. He closed the book and carefully put it back in its spot before closing the glass door and locking it again.
Well, he was curious and look where it got him. The images were disturbing, especially the last one. At least it was over, and Stolas didn’t need to go through that again. With that thought, he decided to do what he was sent here to do: find Grey Beauty. Hopefully it will be enough to distract him from what he just read and get back to his owl sooner. Pulling out his phone and ignoring the owls’ messages, (At least he hasn’t started blowing up my phone again) he pulled up his images to reread the location. Climbing up the stairs to the third floor. Finding the shelf and spotting the book, he started climbing.
“What’re you doing?” the voice startled him into letting go and fallon his ass. He turned and looked down to see Loona, looking up at him from the ground floor.
“Trying to get a book.” He told her.
“Why don’t you just use the ladder?” she asked pointing to the ladder with wheels that was next to him.
“Um… it’s more fun to climb things.” He lied. He really didn’t see the nearby ladder. “Anyway, what’re you doing in here?” he asked as he started climbing it.
“Curious as to why you decided to pick up reading. You hate reading.” She told him.
“It’s about a horse” he told her, grabbing the book. It was a green with an image of a grey horse on it, and not nearly as big or thick as the last book he just read.
“Of course it is” Loona said so sarcastically that Blitz could almost hear her eyes rolling from his spot on the third floor. He pocketed the book before he slid down the banister of the staircase until he was on the ground floor as well.
“You ok there? You seem tense.” Loona asked taking notice in his expression. He didn’t want to tell her what he just read, so he decided to tell her something else.
“I was just thinking about what Stolas said yesterday, about organizing the library with no magic. Now that’s just cruel” he told her, she nodded in understanding. There were way too many books in here.
Soon they left, with Loona joining the others in the living room. “It’s about a horse” she told the group, causing them to let out a collection of “Ah’s” in understanding. Blitz ignored them as he made his way to the bedroom.
“When are you doing it?” He was about to open the door and enter when he heard Vassago speak.
“After I’m fully healed. Hopefully by then I’ll know what to tell him.” he heard Stolas say. (Tell who what? What’s he doing?) He looked through the keyhole, seeing as the parrot wrapping bandages around Stolas’ torso, the owl in question, looking down at his lap. “I won’t lie though, I’m scared. What if I’m doing something that I can’t take back. Will he still want me once he’s free?” Stolas asked Vassago.
“I’m sure he will.” Vassago reassured. “Maybe you don’t have to end it so abruptly. Perhaps you could…” (End what? No… it can’t be!)
“No, I must. Our arrangement isn’t right, it never was. That’s why I must end it. I love Blitz but he deserves the choice to stay or go, though it scares me to think what I’ll lose.” He heard Stolas say.
Blitz took a step away from the door. (I did read the prophecy right. He is ending our arrangement. And Vassago knew the entire time and didn’t bother to tell me?) He felt many things. Heartbreak, anger, shock. He thought about going in there and confronting the owl, but he didn’t want to face him just yet. Not with Vassago’s threat, not with the owl still in such terrible condition. But he couldn’t stay here, not with what he just heard. With no other option, he opened through the portal and hopped through.
Chapter 46: A Talk With My Victims
Chapter Text
“Burr…Burr…Hey this is Fizzarolli! Leave a message…Beep!”
Great… the one person he really needed to talk to is not picking up. Blitz was walking around Cannibal town, a cup of soylent green iced coffee in his hand. He didn’t know what soylent green was, but it made one hell of an iced coffee. He normally didn’t get it since it was expensive as fuck, but he would get it as a little pick me up from time to time. And after what he just heard… he knew what that prophecy was telling him, but he still couldn’t believe Stolas really was ending their arrangement, that he didn’t want him anymore. He thought things were going so good for them, especially these last few days.
He kept walking aimlessly when he spotted a new shop next to Taylor’s Tailor and Ms. Lovetts Bakery near the outskirts of town. There were two sinners putting up a sign that read Triple Em’s. (Sounds like an extreme sports shop.) Blitz decided to check it out, you never know when you need new sporting equipment to kill someone. He crossed the street, ignoring a smiling, red sinner entering Taylor’s Tailor and flipping off a hellhound that nearly ran him over. Once he got close enough, he noticed some of the displays from the store’s window. One looked like a hedgehog body with a queef head, another, a chicken head on a cat body with duck feet and a horned sinner’s skull with snakes going through the orifice… no, it can’t be.
“Well, lookie here… it’s that damn possum that gone n’ killed Emmy!” a voice came from the door, where a third sinner was sweeping, the other two looked down at the imp before jumping from their spot on the roof and joining their sister, all three scowling at him.
All three were fat and had shaggy blonde hair still. They were wearing polka dot midriffs and daisy duke shorts, but had possum- like heads with horns, and gator tails. There were some differences to them now. The one on the right had thick, hammer-like arms and had stitches across her torso, as if she had been cut in half. The middle one had thick spikes all over her body in various shapes, as if she had broken wood and nails under her skin with a spot on her forehead. The left one made him scowl. He recognized her. She had a few feathers in her hair and spots all over her body, as if someone shot her several times.
“Hey bitch, you deserved it!” he shouted.
“Ya’ll came to our home n’ killed us. How’d we deserve it?” the spiky one asked.
“I dunno, let’s ask your victims” the imp retorted, ignoring the nearby sinners and hell born watching them.
Ding
He vaguely heard the door to the bakery on his right ding as someone opened its door.
“Seriously Blitzo, ruining other people’s lives already? It’s barely ten in the morning” (Great, she’s here)
“This doesn’t involve you Verosika” he growled, recognizing the voice.
Ding
He heard the bakery door opening again. “Oh, look dear! Street performers!” He recognized the new voice near the bakery, they were talking about her last night.
“This possum n’ his friends came to our home, killed us after we tried to make ‘em purdy n’ now sayin’ we deserved it” the feathered one said.
“You did deserve it, after what you bitches did to Lemonade!” he shouted at the three. Their eyes widened before scowling in confusion.
“Hey, we ain’t to blame for ruinin’ lemonade. It was already ruined when they gone n made it pink!” hammer arms shot back.
“Yea!” her sisters agreed. Blitz had to pause and process what they were saying.
“I’m not talking about the drink dammit! I’m talking about the bird!” he clarified, causing them to look at him in confusion. “The owl that bitch maimed” he said as he pointed to the sinner on the left.
“Hey! Don’t cha know art needs a lil’ sufferin’” feathers replied with a smirk.
“Uh, yeah. From artists, which you’re not. And let me tell you I’ve seen better taxidermy from a child than this load of crap your selling” he told them with a smirk, getting a collection of ‘ooh’s’ from some nearby bystanders.
“Ugh! We don’t need this. C’mon girls, we got work to do. N’ by the way, yer an ugly possum!” the spiky one said before she turned to their shop before going in, her sisters followed her immediately after.
“Wait… which one of you’s Emily?” he asked, wanting to know which one was their target.
“I am!” all three yelled simultaneously before slamming the door. Blitz facepalmed. (Of course, same name, different spelling.) the crowd watching dispersed, leaving only three other people watching him.
clap clap clap clap clap
He heard clapping coming from the bakery before he felt something soft, and light hit the side of his head. He looked down at a black rose before looking up at the one who threw it. It was Muriel, now a peach-colored ragdoll sinner with thick glasses, and her scarecrow husband. A small bouquet of flowers in her arms and a bag of meat pies in Walter’s.
“What a great performance” Muriel praised as she and Walter continued to clap. “You must be a big fan with that cake you ordered. It looked just like him!” Muriel told Verosika.
“You ordered a cake that looks like me? Awe, I didn’t know you missed me that much, Ver” he teased with a smug smirk.
“It’s for a party, I’d invite you, but you’ll get maimed. Actually, why don’t you come, you can be the piñata” the succubus told him. He looked at her in confusion. She was throwing a party with a cake that looks like him but if he goes, he’ll get maimed?
She rolled her eyes. “It’s an Anti-Blitzo party, dumbass” she told him.
“Anti- Blitzo party?” he asked in disbelief. “You’re throwing a party for hating me?”
“I do it every year. You would not believe how many people come. But don’t worry, I ordered the cake to be as accurate as possible. From your ugly face to your itty-bitty little dick” she told him with a smirk, leaning down so they are eye level.
“Oh, yea? Name one person who’d actually wanna come to your lame ass party” he demanded. She gave him a look before pointing to Triple Em’s.
“Hey, they deserve it after what they did to Lemonade!” he growled.
“For fuck’s sake, I’m pretty sure they didn’t ruin pink lemonade!” she told him, not understanding what he had against the drink
“I’m not talking about pink lemonade dammit! I’m talking about an owl. They tortured and maimed him. He can’t be released back into the wild because of what that bitch did to him!” he pointed at the feathered sister through the window, who just flipped him off. He threw his drink at the window in retaliation. So much for his $36 iced coffee
“Since when do you care about owls? Wait, is it cuz your boyfriends an owl? Awe, that’s so sweet” she said sweetly, but he couldn’t tell if she was being serious or sarcastic.
“He’s not my boyfriend, what we have… won’t exist for much longer” he admitted not looking at her.
“What you leave him to pay for the hotel room, steal his car and max out his cards on shitty horse-riding lessons too?” she mocked.
“I didn’t do that to him, you know what, fuck you, I don’t need this shit.” he said as he started to walk away from her.
“Oh, so let me guess, he said I love you and you just bail on him? Like you did me? Oh my god, you’re so shitty” she asked, a little bit of hurt dripping from her voice.
“He doesn’t love me. If he did, he wouldn’t be ending what we have” he stopped, turning back to her.
“Oh, so he’s dumping you? Well good for him, shall I send an honorary invite for being your freshest ex?” Verosika teased, seeing how he was getting all worked up now.
“We were never together. Don’t you get it? The fucker just used me to get what he wanted…just like I used him” he said realizing that he was just as guilty. He remembered what Vassago told him, what he heard in the prophecy. Their deal was hurting Stolas.
“Aw, does Bwitzo wealize his actions have consequences?” she mocked him. He clenched his fists as he scowled at her. “I’m guessing you didn’t even apologize for whatever you did to him. Doesn’t surprise me, you never take accountability for your actions.”
“What you want an apology? Fine I’m sorry I dumped you, that I didn’t fall head over heels in love with you. Happy now?” he growled at her.
“Sweet Satan, you’re such an asshole” she scowled down at him before turning away, looking at the three sisters through the coffee-stained window. Hammer arms and spikey were hugging feathers as she cried. “You know, my party isn’t just to hate on you, it’s to help all those you hurt. And you hurt a lot of people. I’m still angry and hurt by you did to me, but at least I can help others cope with the pain.” she told him (Of course, I hurt everyone around me, including Stolas). “If you’re treating him like you do everyone else, I can see why he doesn’t want that anymore.” Blitz frowned down at that.
“Well, I don’t. Or at least I’m trying not to” he said, not sure why he was telling her this. She turned to look at him surprised by his statement.
“You know, this reminds me of when my wife and I were fighting the war against commercialism” Walter suddenly said. The two turned him, forgetting the sinners were still there.
“Don’t you mean Communism?” Verosika asked.
“Nope. Commercialism… damn commercials, interrupting our programs and enticing us to spend good money on their shit.” Walter grumbled causing the succubus and the imp to exchange confused looks.
“Thirty-two years ago, Muriel and I used our pranks to fight commercialism. Thanks to our efforts, seventeen big named companies went bankrupt and thirty-eight mascots lost their lives!” he said proudly. “However, it came at a terrible cost. The war was affecting our marriage. No more setting each other on fire, no more gluing each other to the toilet seat with industrial cement… it was like the spark of our marriage went out” he said with a sad look in his eye. Muriel hugged him close in comfort, only for the imp and succubus to see her setting his arm on fire with a lighter. He smiled at her as he took her bouquet and set it on fire before giving it back to his lovestruck wife.
Verosika looked at the imp in confusion. He shrugged his shoulders at her. “I don’t get it either” Blitz told her before turning back the couple, who had put out their respective fires.
“Eventually, we realized that our war wasn’t healthy for our marriage, and we had to stop in order to save it. Damn commercials nearly ruined our marriage” Walter grumbled.
“Umm… ok, what does this have to do with me and Stolas?” the imp asked, not understanding where this was going.
“What my husband is trying to say is that we found what we were doing wasn’t healthy for our relationship, so we ended it for love. Best decision we ever made, well… other than what we did on our wedding” Muriel giggled, causing Blitz to shudder. He remembered seeing her naked body in the closet, he did not want any mental images of two naked old people doing it.
Mental image aside, they did have a point. “Maybe we should end our deal. I don’t want to hurt him anymore, but I don’t want to lose him” he said. “For what it’s worth, I really am sorry for what I did, Ver” he said looking away from her. Her expression softened a bit at him.
“I’m still throwing the party you know” she told him.
“Go ahead, knock yourself out.” he said, no longer caring. She smiled softly at that. He really does want to change.
“For what it’s worth, I hope it works out for you.” He looked up at her as she walked away. “But I’ll be sure to have an invite ready for him” she called over her shoulder.
“You should talk to your boyfriend. Afterall, communication is very important part of our relationship. Without it, we would have crossed many boundaries and ruined things for us.” Muriel said making Blitz look up at her questioningly, wondering what was considered a boundary for them. “For example, we agreed no microbiological warfare on Tuesdays. That is something we both respected.” she told him. Walter nodded in agreement.
“He’s not…why only Tuesdays?” he asked (also why microbiological warfare in general?).
“Cuz you don’t wanna be sick on taco Tuesday” Walter explained as if it was obvious, with Muriel nodding in agreement.
“Um…ok?” he still didn’t understand them, but they seemed like they meant well.
“Why don’t you join us for some meat pies. All the ads say they’re the best savory and sweet pies in town” Walter offered, holding up his bag. (Wait, he doesn’t like commercials but is fine with ads? They’re practically the same thing) “We can tell you all about how we made our relationship work. Maybe it’ll help you with yours” he was tempted, Ms. Lovetts did make awesome meat pies afterall, and he could learn a thing or two from this cooky couple.
“Blitzy-kun, is that you?!!” he felt his blood run cold as he heard the familiar voice. (Oh crap, not her!)
“Thanks for the offer, but I gotta run” he told the married couple before opening a portal and hopping through.
*****
He ended up portaling to I.M.P. headquarters and went straight to his office, ignoring the keg of Beezlejuice he threw in there a yesterday. He opened his safe, taking out the file and Stolas’ envelope, looking at the contents.
The photo of them and their girls in L.A. … film strip of a happy Stolas and a moody Octavia in a photo booth in Loo Loo Land, a news article photo of Stolas, Striker and Blitz (the latter two scribbled out) from the Harvest Moon Festival games, … wait, what’s this?
There was a new photo in here (who took this and how’d it get in here?). It was of Blitz and Stolas from the movie a few days ago, Stolas was sleeping, his head on the imp’s lap as Blitz dozed off, the hand he was using to pet Stolas was resting on top of the owl’s head. Stolas’ feathers were dull and even in his sleep, he looked exhausted, revealing just how bad of a condition he’d been in for the past week.
Blitz had been afraid he’d lose the owl and now, maybe he will. Figuring a game of ‘Shoot or Pass’ was in order, he went into the conference room. He was about to grab a tv from the closet when he noticed something on the table… it was Lemonade’s feather. Grabbing it, he knew what he needed to do. He opened another portal and jumped in, there was an owl he needed to see.
*****
Blitz was lucky he remembered the sanctuary name: Free Fall Animal Sanctuary. There was a small building that had a reception area and desks in the main lobby, a kitchen to prepare food for the animals, a bathroom with a tub, a storage room and a small clinic area. Outside there were large enclosures filled with trees, shrubbery, enrichment activities and various animals that were deemed unfit to be in the wild.
He snuck his way inside the building, looking until he found a room that had a metal examination table, a sink, some cupboards containing medical supplies and a wall with six large kennels attached. Judging from the iv-bag handing and clipboard hanging near one of the middle kennels, there was only one animal in here. Went over to it and looked at the clipboard attached to the cage, reading the top row. Definitely the one he was looking for.
Name: Lemonade (At least Moxxie told them his name and they kept it) … Species: Barn Owl… Gender: F (Wait… Lemonade’s a girl?)
He finally looked in the cage and there she was. The poor bird was bandaged in a way that it reminded the mottled imp of a cat wrapped like a burrito (hopefully it’ll help her wings so she can fly again). An iv was attached to the bird, its bag hanging on the outside of the cage. Sensing she wasn’t alone anymore, Lemonade looked up at him and let out a screech.
“Hey Lemonade, how’s it hanging? Remember me? I saved you from those psycho bitches” Blitz said as he opened the cage door, and slowly reached a hand in. She watched him warily as he reached for her head and scratched it. She closed her eyes in pure contentment.
“That feel good, huh?” he said with a smile. “You know there’s another owl I know that likes to be petted like this, his name’s Stolas.” he told her as he stopped scratching. She looked up at him expectantly. “He’s hurt too, but don’t worry, he’ll be back to his old self in no time… then he’s gonna end what we have. But maybe it’s for the best. But I really like this guy, I don’t wanna lose him, you know?” he told Lemonade, who tilted her head, looking at the imp.
“Everyone keeps saying he loves me, but I heard him telling Vassago… he’s a parrot, kind of a bastard if you ask me, but nice enough guy. Anyway, Stols told him he wants to end the deal, that he loves me and wants me to choose and… wait…” he paused in his rambling. He thought of the prophecy again, how Stolas loved the moon but let it go, how he really wanted the imp, but he reluctantly severed the connection between them. He remembered the song he sang, how he loved whoever he was singing about but wanted to free them, even though losing them was the last thing he wanted,
“Maybe…he really does love me. But he shouldn’t…I’ll end up hurting him like I do with everyone else.” Lemonade watched him still, blinking at him slowly. He took that as she understood him. He was about to ask her what he should do, as if she had all the answers, (thanks to Stolas, he could translate a little bit of bird, maybe he’ll understand what she says) when he heard the door opening. He quickly found a hiding spot in the small cupboard under the sink, before watching as a middle-aged Latino man with glasses and a lab coat came in.
“Hey sweetheart, how’re you doing?” the man asked gently as the owl screeched at him. Blitz would have blasted him if not for the fact that it didn’t sound like a pained or fear induced screech. “Shit, did I forget to close your cage? I’m sorry, we don’t want you trying to get out until you’re better” the man apologized as he scratched Lemonade on the head before he paused her iv and detached it, picked her and the bag up and carried them to the table, He held her gently as he forced the owl to stand, slowly letting go and lowering his hands a bit so she could stand but not far enough that he couldn’t catch her. She wobbled a bit before she lost her balance, he gently caught her as she let out a screech.
“I know Lemonade, it’s hard and it hurts, but don’t worry, it’ll get easier. Then once you’re all better, maybe we can introduce you to Blaze. He can be a bit stubborn, but hopefully you two will get along” The vet told the owl.
Blitz scowled. (Who the fuck is Blaze and why wouldn’t he like Lemonade?) As if answering his question, the vet continued speaking to the owl as he continued his examination. “He’s an owl, just like you, he got caught in a bad fire when he was young, and unfortunately can’t be released either. But just because you’re both damaged doesn’t mean you two have to be alone” he explained. “It may be tough and scary at first, but I’m sure that the two of you will be happy together” Lemonade screeched at him as if agreeing.
Blitz softened at that, hopefully this Blaze will treat her well. He waited in his hiding spot until the man was done with this assessment and put her back int the cage, attaching the iv bag and starting it again.
“Carlos, we got a call about a goose with an arrow in its neck heading our way.” a short brunette woman in teal scrubs told the vet as she entered the exam room.
“Thank you, Sarah, I’ll be right there” he told the woman as he finished jotting something down on the clipboard and walked out.
Blitz came out of his hiding spot, making a mental note not to kill Carlos if they ever got a client that wanted him dead. Afterall, he seemed like a nice guy and was taking care of Lemonade. Plus, he had a feeling that Carlos was, unknowingly, helping him with his Stolas crisis. He went back to Lemonades kennel, she looked at him with soulful eyes.
“I’ll be seeing you around Lemonade. Thanks for listening and good luck with Blaze” he told her. He opened a portal back to hell and hopped through.
*****
Once he was back at headquarters, he started thinking about everything. Lemonade made him realize that maybe Stolas does love him afterall. He remembered what Walter and Muriel told him, how they ended something unhealthy for their relationship, how they communicated with each other (in their own unique way). They needed to do that. Stolas did say that a prophecy could be changed if interpreted correctly. “Maybe he doesn’t have to end our deal. Maybe… I should do it, and we can work things out. Gah… I need Fizz to tell me what to say”
Blitz took out his phone, ready to call his best friend again, when he noticed several missed phone calls and text messages. He realized it was still on silent from the night before.
“Groan… he better not be blowing up my phone again or so help me; I’m taking it until he’s fully healed.” He decided to check the texts first, only for his eyes to widen as he read the most recent messages
<Fizz to Blitzo> 9/21 11:52am: Idk ware u r but u ned 2 get yor ass 2 Stols rn. SOS!:
(What’s going on? Why’s Fizz involved?)
<Octavia to Blitzo> 9/21 11:45am: Blitz we need u rn:
<Mils to Blitzo> 9/21 11:31am: B com back hury!:
<Mox to Blitzo> 9/21 11:22am: Sir, u need 2 get here now. It emergency:
<Looney to Blitzo> 9/21 11:12am: Wtf r u? get yor ass over here now!!!:
<Unknown number to Blitzo> 9/21 11:09am: This is Vassago. Wherever you are you, need to come to Stolas’ office right away.:
(Vas’ texting me? This sounds serious)
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/21 11:06am: Blitzy, where are you? I need you to come to my office immediately. Please Blitzy!!!:
Chapter 47: The Investigation
Chapter Text
He hopped through the portal, landing in the main foyer before feeling familiar hands on him, forcing him to turn around to face their owner.
“Where the fuck have you been?!!” the jester started to shake him roughly.
“Hey easy Fizz, I… Wait, what’re you doing here? How’d you get past the barrier?” he asked the jester as he spotted the others approaching.
“Vassago had to take it down” Loona explained “The fuck were you?” she growled.
“I had to go to the office for personal reasons” he explained, hoping he didn’t have to divulge what those personal problems were.
“Did you forget to pay rent again?” Moxxie asked annoyed. (Didi I?)
“That’s not important right now. What happened?” he asked.
“The council decided to open an investigation against dad and Vassago.” Via told him.
“Meaning…?”
“It means we have three sins here seein’ if Stolas and Vassago are doin’ their jobs” Millie explained.
“If they think Vassago isn’t doing his job as a keeper, then he’ll be removed and someone else will be assigned as Stolas’ keeper.” Moxxie told him
“Who?” Blitz asked.
“Dunno…but it gets worse. If they think dad isn’t doing his duties as a vessel…” Via started telling him, looking scared.
“Enough dilly dallying! … We need to go right now!” Fiz interrupted as he grabbed the mottled imp again before practically dragging him to Stolas’ office, stopping at the door. “No back talking, no insults, no attacking anyone and, for the love of all things unholy, no jokes. Stolas and Vassago depend on it.” the jester told him while dusting him off before knocking.
Knock knock knock
“Enter” Blitz heard Asmodeus say from the other end. He opened the door, spotting the two goetia as well as Asmodeus, Mammon and Belphegor. Stolas was sitting tensely in his office chair in front of the desk, wearing a short pale pink robe with purple leaves and tassels, bandages could be seen littering his body still. Vassago was standing right next to him, just as equally tense. Everyone else was standing around the desk. There was a small backpack, blessed rope, a holy knife, some small red crystals (displacement crystals), syringes and bottles of a glowing yellow substance sitting on the desk. Blitz recognized some of the items from the assassination attempt.
“Where have you been?” Vassago demanded as Fizz practically shoved him in, causing him to stumble, before closing the door.
“Sorry, there was something personal I had to take care of,” he said, hoping that was enough, as he approached the others.
“Is this Blitz? The final one?” Belphegor turned to the owl and parrot. Stolas and Vassago nodded.
“Alright, let’s get this over with. Keeper Vassago and vessel Stolas have been accused of not performing their respective duties. As such, we, the sin Belphegor, the sin Mammon,” Asmodeus gestured to the two sins, “And I, have been assigned to conduct an investigation. We are also investigating allegations of Stella violating her ban as well an assassination attempt against the vessel. They have already presented their evidence, and we have already interviewed the rest of the household, so we’ll just need you to answer some questions for us. Alright?” Asmodeus told him. Blitz nodded.
“What is the reason you’re here?” the sin of lust asked. He thought about answering with a joke, like ‘why are any of us here?’ but decided to listen to Fizz. Now’s not the time for jokes.
“Me and my team were hired to protect Stolas and his daughter while he recovered from his ritual.’ Blitz answered.
“What day did you first come here?” Mammon asked next.
“The fourteenth” the imp told him. Technically he came here as a child, but figured they meant for the ritual.
“Everyone else came on the fifteenth or very early on the sixteenth. Why were you here then?” Mammon demanded.
“Vassago was about to intervene with the ritual and didn’t want Octavia here, so she called me to pick her up and take her somewhere else” he explained. The Greed sin nodded at his answer.
“How long have you stayed at the palace?” Belphegor asked him.
“Since the fifteenth and I’ve been here mostly since.”
“Mostly?” she asked. “Other than today, did you leave?”
He nodded. “Two days ago, Stolas had to go through a purification and didn’t want anyone other than his keeper here for it. We came back later that day when they were done.” he explained, seeing the sins wince, while the two goetia looked down at the thought of what they had to do.
“Other than for hired protection, do you have any relationship with the vessel?” Asmodeus asked (He fucking knows I do). He looked at Stolas. What can he say? They had a transactional arrangement? That they’re fuckbuddies? That he loves the owl but isn’t sure that they would work out because he would end up hurting him like everyone else he’s ever cared about?
“He’s… someone I care about” that seemed to satisfy the sin and caused Stolas to give the imp a small smile.
They asked him about Stella, the assassin, how long Stolas was asleep, any injuries the owl sustained, etc. and Blitz answered to the best of his abilities.
“Do you believe the vessel is fit enough to be doing his duties at the moment?” Mammon asked.
“Hell no. He could barely hold himself up yesterday. I doubt he was able to walk here without help” he said, causing the sin to nod at his statement.
“And what about his keeper? How do you think he is performing his duties adequately?” Belphegor asked. Blitz looked at the parrot in question.
“Are you kidding me? He’s gone way above and beyond. He’s been healing Stolas to the best of his abilities. He made a fucking barrier and hired us for extra protection as a precaution after the assassination attempt. Other than the fact that his tea tastes like shit, I think he’s doing a fan- fucking-tastic job as his keeper.” Blitz said as Vassago gave him a grateful smile.
“Anything else?” Belphegor asked the other sins. They shook their heads before she turned back to the imp. “Thank you, that concludes our interview." she thanked him before turning to the goetia. “Now we’ll need to inspect the vessel, and the keepers supplies.” With her maroon magic, she lifting Stolas in the air. Mammon opened a portal to the owl’s bedroom before walking in.
“I’ll need you to grab the prophecies and have them on the desk when we get back.” Asmodeus ordered the parrot before walking through, Belphegor following with Stolas in her magic’s grip. The owl gave the imp and parrot a worried look before the portal closed behind them.
“Thank you, Blitz,” Vassago thanked him as he put the items on the desk into the backpack before placing it on the floor.
“Yeah, sorry I was late” Blitz apologized as Vassago opened a small portal and took out a lavender box.
“You’re here now and testified, that’s all that matters.” The parrot said as he opened the box, revealing an orb that appeared to be filled with galaxies. The imp recognized this from the lunar ritual. It was so beautiful, so shiny… he had to touch it…
Slap
“Ow!” the imp cried out in pain as the parrot slapped his hand.
“Don’t touch” Vassago scolded, as the imp pulled his hand away.
“Do you think they’ll find you guys innocent?” he asked as he rubbed his hand.
“I hopeso,” Vassago said as he took out the orb and put it on a pedestal on the desk.
“Well don’t worry, I’m sure Oz will at least vote for you guys.” Blitz reassured. Afterall, he was sure that since he was Fizz’s boyfriend, he could be persuaded to spare the two.
“I wouldn’t count on that. He’s done investigations before and has ruled against a vessel and keeper” Vassago told him.
“Are you serious?” he asked in disbelief. Vassago nodded.
“Once the vessel has been chosen, they must do their duties until they’re completed. There are very few exceptions to this, mainly if they’re recovering their mana or dead.” Vassago explained. “And a keeper’s duty is to make sure they recover and are able to perform those duties.”
“But Stols finished his ritual. What else is there?” Are there more rituals the owl has to do? Will he need to hurt himself again?
“He needs to scry.”
“Cry? Why the fuck does he need to cry?” He felt the owl has done enough of that after what he went through.
“Not cry, scry. It means he needs to read and interpret the prophecies he collected and deliver his findings to the council.” He explained as Blitz looked at the orb again, willing himself not to touch the pretty ball.
“Can’t someone else do it?”
“Unfortunately, only those that collected prophecies are able to scry them. A keeper can help a vessel with scrying only if they intervene with the ritual, that way at least some prophecies can be saved. However, if more than one prophet collects them, then the prophecies will not be as potent.” (So that’s why he wouldn’t stop the ritual.)
“Stolas did the hard part already, so once they see this, hopefully they will be satisfied with him at least.” the parrot reassured.
*****
Meanwhile…
Stolas sat on his bed as he watched the sins at work. Belphegor disappeared into the kitchen to take a look at the parrot’s herb supplies while Asmodeus and Mammon looked through the trunks, judging the potions and tonics, as well as the other supplies. Soon Belphegor came back through a portal. “The herbs are all fine” she said.
“Potions and supplies look in order.” Asmodeus said as he came back to the bed with the bag of mana stones in one hand and the scissors and some bandages in the other.
“This the tea your keeper been giving you?” Mammon asked. Stolas nodded before watching the sin chug it. The other sins turned to the greed sin as he started gagging.
“Is there something wrong with the tea?” Belphegor asked, not prepared for that kind of reaction.
“You bet there is. This is the nastiest tea I’ve ever tasted!” the sin grumbled. Ozzie and Stolas both smirked at that. “But I can tell powerful medicinal herbs were used in here…. something funny vessel?” the greed sin demanded, seeing the owls smirk.
“Oh, um, n-no your sinfulness. It’s just...I-i’ve been telling him for years his tea tastes terrible. I’m just glad someone agrees with me.” he explained, hoping to placate the sin.
“Now time to check out that body, birdie babe” Asmodeus told the owl as he placed the stones and bandages down and handed the scissors to Belphegor before helping the owl remove his robe.
Snip snip snip snip snip snip snip snip
He tried not to tense as Belphegor cut all the bandages off his body, instead looking at his seahorse plush as a distraction. He was less panicked by the scissors than yesterday, but still was unnerved by them. Once the bandages were all off, he turned to the sins. They were giving him a horrified yet sympathetic look, with Mammon looking as if he would throw up the tea he just consumed. (I do look ugly) The markings were still there, but were more faded than the day before, except for the seal on his chest, which was still a bit darker, given that it had been cut deeper. He let them turn him this way and that to give his body a thorough inspection, wincing as they traced his seal.
“Looks like a purification did happen recently”. The sloth sin told the others who nodded. “Alright, we’ll need to check your mana levels.”
Stolas nodded before lying flat on his back, closing his eyes. No one other than Vassago had ever done this to him before. Asmodeus placed the stones next to him before Belphegor traced the path from groin to head, her hand going past the yellow stone, her touch slow, yet meticulous. “22%” she said removing her hands.
Mammon went next, tracing the same path. He was a lot rougher than Belphegor, but he was quick about it at least. “Same” he said before Asmodeus did his reading. His traces were more like a sensual caress.
“I got twenty-two as well” he said.
“Alright, I think we’re done examining you” Asmodeus said as he helped him sit up. Belphegor bandaged him up again before the lust king gave him his robe back, the greed sin standing off to the side impatiently.
*****
Blitz turned to see a portal open as the sins and the owl came back, Stolas being placed back in his chair by Belphegor’s magic. Vassago went to stand next to the owl while Blitz just stayed where he was, not wanting to get in the way.
“Is this it?” Mammon asked looking at the orb. Stolas and Vassago nodded as the sins leaned down to give it a closer look, eyes widening at wonder, like a child entering the world’s largest toy store for the first time. The sins hovered their hands over it, sensing the magic inside, looking giddy at whatever they sensed. Blitz was sure that Mammon at least would try to take the orb and make a break for it with how they were acting.
“Nothing tainted, and I can sense only one prophets’ power.” Asmodeus said with the other sins nodding in agreement. The sins stood back up, seemingly satisfied.
“Alright, I think we’ve seen enough.” The other sins nodded in agreement. Blitz watched as Vassago placed a comforting hand on Stolas’ shoulder before the owl placed his hand over the parrots, a nervous look on their faces. “Sins, do you believe the keeper is doing his duties sufficiently?” Belphegor asked.
“Aye” Asmodeus answered. “Despite the vessels current condition, I can tell the keeper’s doin’ his best to help him recover. And considering that these two always choose each other as their keepers, doesn’t seem right to me to split em’ up.” (I knew he would agree)
“It’s a Nay for me” Mammon’s response caught the imp off guard. “The vessel has spent a week with his mana less than 25%. The fact that a purification had to be done makes me question his keepers’ abilities.”
“Well, you have the final vote” Asmodeus turned to the sloth sin. She was silent for a moment, contemplating.
“You both make excellent points” she told the sins before going silent again. The suspense was killing the mottled imp.
“Aye” she finally said. “Considering what ritual was done and the fact that the vessel was not fully recovered from his injuries before performing it, it’s to be expected there may be complications to his recovery. The vessel is alive, and his keeper has gone to great pains to keep him that way” she said before turning to the goetia. “Keeper Vassago, you are cleared of the charges against you.’” Blitz sighed in relief, before noticing the goetia didn’t share his enthusiasm. That’s right…Stolas is being investigated too.
“Sins do you believe the vessel is doing his duties sufficiently?” Belphegor asked. Blitz noticed Vassago move a little closer than he already was to the owl, tightening his grip on his shoulder. The parrot seemed more concerned about Stolas’ judgement rather than his own.
“I say Aye” Asmodeus said. “We’ve seen evidence that he’s not fit be scrying right now. But he has collected the prophecies, and they are extremely potent.” Blitz knew he would vote in Stolas’ favor. He scowled, looking at Mammon, waiting for him to vote no. He knew it was because he didn’t want to agree with Ozzie because Fizz quit working for him.
“Aye” Mammon said, surprising the imp. “The prophecies have already been collected. Seems pointless to find him guilty now, especially since we haven’t seen them like this in centuries.”
“Aye” Belphegor responded. “I see no evidence that he’s defying his duties. Vessel Stolas, you are cleared of the charges against you.” This time the goetia relaxed, letting out a sigh of relief before smiling at each other.
“If there’s nothing else, I’m leaving. Got things to do, people to exploit.” Mammon grumbled as he opened a portal back to his ring.
“Thank you for your time, your Greediness” Stolas said to the sin as Vassago bowed.
“Just hurry up and get your mana back so we can get those prophecies.” he ordered the owl “And you” he said pointing to Vassago. “Learn how to make tea right. I’ve had bad reviews leave a better taste in my mouth than that swill your givin’ him.” he scolded the parrot before leaving. Stolas turned and gave his friend an ‘I told you so’ look.
“I should get going as well, I’ll be sure to let the council know of our findings. I wish you a speedy recovery and look forward to hearing your prophecies vessel Stolas” Belphegor said as she opened her own portal to the council chamber and walked through.
“Thank you for your time your Slothfulness” Stolas said while Vassago bowed as she left.
“Well, I’ll tell the others that you both passed. For what it’s worth I apologize we had to do this, birdie babe. And for my part for your role as a vessel” (What part?) “I’m glad you didn’t end up like the last two.” (What happened to the last two?)
“Thank you, your Lustfulness. But before you go, could you tell me who would’ve been assigned my keeper if Vassago failed?” Stolas asked. He knew what his fate would’ve been if he failed, but he wanted to know who would’ve replaced his friend if he failed.
“There were a few that were more than willing to become your keeper. Caim, Naberius, and Shax.” Stolas let out a small, disturbed noise, a look of horror on his face as Vassago put a hand back on his shoulder, stepping closer to him as if trying to protect him, an act not unnoticed by the imp or sin. “Andrealphus volunteered as well, but given his connection to Stella, we figured he would not be a good fit for you” Stolas nodded, grateful that he wouldn’t have to deal with him at least. “I know they’re not your favorites, and to be honest, if it came to that, I would’ve thrown my hat in the ring to be your keeper.”
“Thank you, my lord.” Stolas looked at him gratefully, knowing he would have had a better chance of having the lust sin acting as his replacement keeper.
The sin smiled at that. “Get better soon birdie babe” he said as he walked out of the room. Once he was gone, Stolas slumped in his chair as Vassago slid to the floor, sprawling on his back. Blitz never knew the parrot could be so dramatic.
“Please tell me we still have the Beezlejuice the girls brought home. I could go for an entire keg right now” Stolas begged.
“You can’t have alcohol right now Stolas” Vassago told him from his spot on the floor.
“Groan…just one bottle of absinthe” he begged; he really needed a drink.
“No… but I’ll drink one in your name though” Vassago offered, causing the owl to whine. (Guess they’re both alcoholics…good to know)
“Not a fan of those candidates?” Blitz asked.
“Andrealphus is Stella’s brother and the others… I mentioned them last night” Stolas said.
“They’re the ones that tried jumping you at the meeting?” Blitz asked. He nodded
“They really really want him.” Vassago said. “To the point where it falls into creepy stalker territory”
“That bad huh?” Blitz asked. He already didn’t like them, but how bad could it be?
“Oh, yes.” Stolas said. “A few months after that meeting, I found out they all ordered highly detailed sex dolls of me. Thankfully, Asmodeus helped me before they were delivered”
~Flashback~
Six years ago…
Stolas was sitting on a loveseat in the hall across Asmodeus’ office, his hat in hand as he waited for his meeting with the king. He hoped the king would be willing to help him with this problem.
“Well, greetings my dark lord! I haven’t seen you since that anomaly meeting.” The Sin of lust greeted him as he was led into his office.
“So, what can the king of lust do for you? Need something to spice things up with you and Vassago?” he asked suggestively as they sat at a small table, some candies shaped as genitals filled a bowl in the center. (Not him too)
“Oh um… no. We’re just friends your highness, nothing sexual or romantic in our relationship” the owl said. “Actually, there is another matter that I wish to talk to you about. A rather personal matter to be precise. Recently, it has brought to my attention that your company has been making some goetia sex dolls…” he began, looking away in embarrassment.
“And you want one? I think I can work with that. What exactly are you looking for?” the king asked causing the owl to blush.
“N-no. What I mean to say is… these certain dolls are… in my image.” Ozzie raised an eyebrow at that.
“And you haven’t been compensated yet?” the sin guessed. It was a common enough concern and something that could be easily dealt with. “I believe once you sign the waiver, you’ll get a check within…”
“No, I never consented to them being made to begin with” the owl interrupted, causing the lust king to look at him shock.
“Now that can’t be right. Whenever my company makes anything based off one’s body, we make sure they’re adequately compensated and are fully made aware of what’s being made in their image. Afterall, consent is a big priority when it comes to lust. You’re saying you didn’t sign anything from my company?” the owl shook his head.
“And you’re sure they’re being made in your image?” the king asked him.
“I’m fairly certain. I have a reliable source that says at least three were ordered.” The owl explained. Considering one of the buyers’ own staff was the one that tipped him off, he felt it was a reliable source. He made sure they were well compensated for this information.
“By any chance do you know the names of the ones who ordered them?” The king asked, if this is the case, it’s a very serious one.
“Naberius, Caim and Shax” he told him. The king frowned at those names before going to his desk and started typing something into his computer.
“Huh…looks like they’re set out to be shipped this afternoon” was all he said before picking up a landline on his desk. “Adora, I need you to bring up a few orders to my office please. Also, I need to see the papers for product number: SD8675309.” He told someone on the phone. “We’ll get this taken care of, don’t worry” the king reassured the owl as he continued talking to Adora on the phone.
Knock knock knock
A few minutes later, three succubi came in carrying three large crates, a folder and a crowbar. A sexy succubus with white hair and a tattoo that reminded the owl of the goetia emblem on his arm handed the sin the crowbar. He opened one of the crates, digging through the packing peanuts until he found what he was looking for. He frowned as he pulled it out, revealing a Stolas sex doll.
It was so realistic that, other than the real one being dressed and giving a horrified look, you couldn’t tell which one was which. It had four(somehow) glowing red eyes, was covered in feathers and looked exactly like the owl down to the littlest detail, same height, same body shape, everything. The beak opened and closed revealing a small vibrator where the owl’s tongue should be. He did not even want to know what they did to the doll’s cloaca.
Asmodeus threw the doll aside before he opened the other crates to reveal the same dolls. “Oh, those motherfuckers” the sin cursed. Stolas knew that the king did not like how those three treated him at the meeting a few months back.
“Let me see the papers for these dolls” the sin demanded. An androgynous looking succubus with short black hair handed the folder to their boss. Stolas watched as the sins face contorted in anger as he read one paper before he started transforming into his eldritch form at whatever he was seeing in the next pages. His flames grew to the point where his employees had to step back so they wouldn’t get burned, the owl stamping out a small flame on his own cape. “Who’s in charge of this product’s papers?” Asmodeus demanded.
“I believe Vixxie, sir.” a female succubus with white pigtails said.
“We are pulling the plug on this product right now!I want all these recalled and destroyed! Is that understood?” he ordered, pointing to the dolls as he transformed back into his normal form.
“Yes sir!” they all agreed.
“Good, and send Vixxie in here, we need to get to the bottom of this” he ordered as the others left. He turned to the owl still sitting in his seat.
“Looks like I owe you an apology your highness. Someone forged our signatures.” the sin told him as he handed the waiver form to the owl. Yep, this wasn’t his signature. For one, he didn’t dot his I’s with hearts and two, his name wasn’t Stolis. At the bottom, where the sins approval signature should be, was written Asmodius in the same handwriting. The seal of approval was clearly wrong as well, whoever made it was clearly a dumbass (the seal was on the front of the building, for fucks sake). “Looks like these were sent over for the product description as well.” he handed him the other papers. They were…oh dear.
They were photos of him from the time he went to ‘Peep n Tom’s Bathhouse’ in Gluttony several years ago. Those three (before he knew about their ‘crush’ they had on him) recommended it to him after they overheard him saying he was sore after a mishap (Stella) earlier that week, saying that it would help relax the body and take the tension away. He booked a private bath and sure enough, it was really relaxing. The place closed a few months later and now he could understand why.
“I’m sorry for this birdie babe, I’ll have you fully compensated” the king offered.
“Oh that’s very generous your highness, but so long as no more of them are made I’m content” he reassured.
“I can have a word with those three again if you…” the king offered.
“I appreciate the offer my lord, but I’ll deal with them somehow. It wouldn’t be fair to you if I had you fighting all my battles. But thank you” He told the sin.
“If you’re sure then. I’ll be sure to take care of the dolls at least. Take care of yourself birdie babe and let me know of you need help with those three.” The sin said as he guided the owl to the door. As Stolas was walking to the main lobby, he passed by a succubus with her hair in a messy bun, looking really nervous as she walked by, heading for the sins office. He ignored her, ready to go home, take a long bath (with the door warded and an invisibility spell on himself) and drink himself into oblivion.
*****
The next day …
“Sssstttooooollllaaassss!!!” he heard Stella yelling for him. He nearly choked a bit on the tea he was drinking at her sudden yelling. He was just reading the paper and enjoying breakfast, what could he have done to upset her this early in the morning? The white goetia came in, the landline and Impington in her grip.
“A sin is calling for you. You better not have done anything else to make yourself a bigger embarrassment than you already are” his wife threatened as she shoved the landline and imp into his hand. he set the imp down on the floor as he answered the phone.
“Um…hello?” he greeted causing Stella to scowl in annoyance.
“Mornin birdie babe. How you doin?” he recognized Asmodeus’ voice.
“Oh, I’m fine your lustfulness. What do I owe the pleasure of this call?” he asked.
“Just thought I’d update you on that little problem of yours. The person who forged your signature and was responsible for this mess has been fired and blacklisted from working in any Asmodeus stores, brothels and clubs” (So basically, they’re blacklisted from working in the Lust ring) “And as for the dolls, they’re now discontinued and have been incinerated. I’ve also taken care of those three for you.”
“My lord, you didn’t…” he began, his eyes widening.
“Yup, I let them know that due to all the feathers and the ‘radioactive material’ used for the eyes, they were not up to code. They got their refund, but unfortunately the photos submitted for the dolls were lost in the system, so we're unfortunately unable to make them again”
“My lord, I… thank you” he was so grateful the sin did all this for him.
“Now if there’s anything else I can do for you, you just let me know, alright?”
“Oh, you’ve done more than enough. Thank you, your highness” he thanked again.
“Take care now birdie babe.”
“Well, what the fuck did he say?” Stella demanded, crossing her arms.
“Oh, nothing, just a matter we discussed yesterday. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some work that needs attending” he told her as he handed her the phone back and headed to his office. “Impington, I may need your assistance in my office” he told the imp, who bowed and follows the prince. He really didn’t need the imp for anything, but better that he stay away from his wife now that she was about to throw a tantrum tor being denied some fresh gossip.
~End flashback~!
“You serious?” the imp asked, not believing there might be Stolas sex dolls somewhere out there. At least the Sin of lust had his back.
“Don’t forget when they thought they drank truth serum at that party” Stolas wrapped his arms around himself and crossed his legs at that memory.
“What they say?” Blitz asked curiously only for Stolas to shake his head, looking a little green in the face. It must be bad.
“Let’s just say that compared to them, his dirty talk is very vanilla. And I should know… I’m the one that taught him to talk like that.” Vassago said as he got up off the floor, surprising the imp that the parrot taught him that. The owl was quite well versed in dirty talk so the imp was curious about what they said.
“At least we don’t have to worry about them being your keeper.” Vassago said as he put the prophecies back in the box before opening a portal to their hiding spot.
“What happened to the other vessels?” Blitz asked, remembering what Ozzie said earlier, hoping to get off the topic of the owl molesters.
“…it’s not important Blitz. Don’t worry, it didn’t happen to me” Stolas said. (he’s calling me Blitz again? Must be serious)
“Let’s get you back to bed.” Vassago said as he opened another portal to the owl’s room before helping Stolas to his feet, Blitz followed them through.
“Seriously what happened?” he asked again.
“You don’t need to wor…” Stoals started as Vassago helped him sit on the bed.
“Dammit Stolas just tell me!”
“They didn’t survive the ritual, ok?” Vassago told him, knowing the imp wouldn’t let it go. “Ayperos, the previous vessal, was burned alive by the raw magic because he messed up one of the runes. Farax, the vessel before that, couldn’t handle that much magic and exploded. That tends to be the most common way vessels die in this particular ritual” Vassago told him. (The most common way?)
“I believe there was one, centuries ago, where the vessel died via implosion because they used an adamantine knife instead of orichalcum.” Stolas chimed in casually. “Wasn’t there one who somehow…”
“So… you knew you were gonna die… and you did it anyway?” Blitz cut the owl off. (So, that day he came to give me the crystal, it didn’t just sound like a final goodbye… it was a final goodbye.)
“I didn’t die though.” Stolas reassured.
“But you could have.”
“But I didn…”
“But you could have!” he argued.
“…Yes… there was a strong chance of it. The super blue blood moon ritual is one of, if not, the most dangerous magical lunar event” the owl explained.
“Dammit Stolas! Your already depressed! Are you telling me you’re fucking suicidal too?” he couldn’t believe this, but seeing the look the owl was giving him, he felt maybe he went a little too far.
“He didn’t ask for this. The council chose to be the vessel” Vassago defended the owl, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“And he just couldn’t say no?”
“No, he couldn’t. When the council decides you’re a vessel, then you’re a vessel. If you’re chosen and you refuse or defy the role given, then you would be considered committing treason against hell and be executed.” Vassago told him. Blitz’s eyes widened in horror.
“Either I do a dangerous ritual that has a high probability of killing me or I forfeit my life. I chose the option where I had a chance to survive.” Stolas told him.
“So, this investigation… if they found you guilty…”
“I would have been put to death.” Stolas told him sadly.
“Would they have killed you too if you refused to be his keeper? If they found you guilty?” he asked the parrot curiously.
“No, a keeper’s role is voluntary. If, however, they found me guilty of sabotaging his recovery and he did die, then I could be put on trial for treason and be executed. But since he’s clearly alive, they would have just banished me from being his keeper until he was done, then decide if I could be his keeper in the future or not.” he explained. (So if one fails, he’s just fired but if the other fails, they die? That’s not fair)
“But why you? Why not a sin?” If this was truly that dangerous, why not someone more powerful.
“Because Stolas is one of if not the greatest prophet born in millennia. The prophecies he collects each month are very potent and his scrying is so thorough and accurate that no one else compares.” Vassago said.
“And as such, they felt I would be successful and collect the prophecies without my keepers intervention.” He explained. That was the official reason. The unofficial reason was because of the rumors of his divorce because of Blitz, how he ‘cheated' on Vassago (gotta love the rumor mill) and how he got kidnapped in broad daylight and was nearly killed by an imp. To the other nobles, this was his one chance to prove that he was still worthy of his spot on the council, his title and rank.
“So what, they just said you?”
“Sort of. There are eighty-one members of the council. Seventy-two goetia nobles, Stolas and I included, and the seven sins. When choosing a vessel for a specific task, the goetia will vote for who they think would be best suited for the task until there are two or three candidates. Those candidates will then be brought over to the sins. The sins will then decide who the vessel is based on who they feel is most capable. For this one, most of the goetia voted for Stolas to be the vessel, thanks to Andrealphus. The only other candidate, Ipos, got five votes, ours included.” Vassago explained. (All those people voted for Stolas?)
“So the first vote is to elect candidates? And how many sins need to agree before they choose and who chose you?” he asked.
“It’s usually the majority rule. But for Stolas… it was unanimous” the imps eyes widened at that.
“Bee and Oz… voted for you?” He thought those two at least liked the owl.
“It was nothing personal, darling…Like he said, I’m the greatest prophet in millennia, it was to be expected. And besides… It’s for the greater good of hell.” Stoas said sadly “I did tell you it was a dangerous and complex ritual, but the prophecies are very potent and powerful. They are still powerful with a keeper's intervention, but not as potent. Very rarely in this ritual has a vessel succeeded without their keeper's intervention, but those that do have been utilized to our advantage in the past.” He explained. “We’ve used them to prevent hell born from being killed on extermination day, caused the black death, the chaos of…”
“And you were just ok with doing this? For the greater good?” Blitz interrupted him.
“Weren’t you listening? He didn’t have a choice.” Vassago asked.
“And what about Via? Did she know about this? Were you honestly ok with your bitch ex taking her if you died?” he demanded, ignoring the parrot.
“She was informed about the possible outcome shortly after I was named vessel” (so that’s why she was crying that day, because she thought he wouldn’t make it) “And as for Stella, she would not have custody of my Starfire. I took precautions and named Vassago as her legal guardian should I die.”
“Oh, that makes it so much better” Blitz said sarcastically. “And what about me? Why lent me this damn crystal if you might die?” he demanded, gesturing to the crystal on his glove.
“Lent? Darling it’s yours… its registered under your name… did I not mention that?” Stolas asked confusedly. (Guess Fizz was right. It really is a gift for me.)
“No, you didn’t. Tell me… did you give it to me as a consolation prize in case you were to die or because you’re ending our deal?” the birds looked at him in shock.
“H-how…”
“Answer me!” he demanded.
“…Vassago, can you give us some privacy please?” Stolas asked his keeper. The parrot nodded before exiting the door and closing it. Stolas sighed. He was hoping for more time, but it looks like he wouldn’t be getting that.
“I suppose… it’s time we talked about our arrangement.”
Chapter 48: Ending Our Deal
Chapter Text
Blitz stared at the owl, waiting for the other to speak. He barely noticed a bright yellow light or the tingling sensation of magic as Vassago, once again, erected a barrier. “…Well?” he demanded.
“How’d you know?” Stolas asked him.
“The prophecy I got, remember?” to be honest, with his purification, Stella, and the investigation, he completely forgot about it. “I thought I had it figured out. That what it was saying was you were going to end our deal. But then I heard you talking with Vassago about it this morning and that was all I needed to confirm it” The imp explained.
“… I see” was all Stolas said. (I really need to get a thicker door)
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why give me this damn crystal at all?” Blitz asked gesturing to the crystal on his glove.
“I was planning on talking to you about our deal before I was named vessel. I figured it could wait if and when I finished. A-and I was going to give you the crystal anyway, but figured you’d at least have it in case…”
“In case you didn’t make it” the imp finished. The owl nodded. “Why…why do you want to end it? Are you tired of the sex, is that it? You bored of me?” the imp demanded. “I’m not good enough for you anymore?”
“No darling, never!”
“Then why?” He already knew why. Vassago had already told him their arrangement was hurting Stolas, but he wanted to hear it from the owl.
“Blitz…” (Again with Blitz? Not Blitzy?) “This… transactional thing we have… it’s not right, it never was. I took advantage of you, forced you to exchange sexual favors for your business. I’m truly sorry for what I’ve done to you.” he apologized to the imp, causing him to look at the owl with confusion. “I never wanted you to feel like you’re forced to be with me. And after what happened at Ozzie’s… I realized just how unfair our deal is to you, how much I was hurting you. I wanted to give you a way out if you wanted one. You don’t have to touch me, or be near me, or…or even speak to me anymore if that’s what you want.” Stolas told him sadly.
“I care about you Blitz, a-and want to be with you … but not if I make you unhappy. If you’re here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me? Like Stella or Andrealphus or…or those three? I don’t want to hurt you the same way they’ve hurt me.” the owl said “I love you; I always have. But I want what makes you happy, not what makes me happy. And if that means that we part ways for good… then I’ll respect your wishes.” He finished with a sad smile.
“Are you fucking kidding me? That’s fucking bullshit! You expect me to believe that?” Blitz demanded angrily. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he wouldn’t believe it…
Stolas was comparing himself to his stalkers? To Stella? He actually thought he was hurting him like that???
The mottled imp saw the owl’s eyes widen, saw the hurt written on his face. “I see… sigh… thank you Blitz, for making me so happy and for protecting me and my daughter.” The owl turned away; he didn’t want the imp to see him cry.
“Hey, wait a minute…” the imp tried to say. (I’m fucking everything up again, aren’t I?)
“You don’t need to say anything more Blitz, I have my answer” if only he was strong enough, he would have walked out of the room, would have portaled the imp out of here so he didn’t see him cry.
“Stolas, I’m…”
“You don’t have…” the owl interrupted.
“Dammit! Will you just let me talk for one fucking minute! You at least owe me that!” he yelled. “Look at me. I said look at me dammit!!!” he demanded, waiting for the owl to look at him. Stolas had never seen the imp look at him like that before. He looked like he was about to explode from holding back his anger.
“How dare you…” he growled as he slowly approached the owl. “If you weren’t in this condition right now, I’d tie you down and beat your ass until you safe worded for what you just said.” He growled.
“Sniff…d-don’t threaten me with a good t-time” Stolas joked, trying not to cry.
“No! I’m fucking serious… How dare you say that. You’re honestly comparing yourself to them???” the owl looked at him with confusion.
“B-but I…”
“No! You are nothing like them!” he pushed the owl onto his bed, pinning his hands above his head with one hand, grabbing the owls chin with the other, so he couldn’t turn away.
“Blitz, what’re you…”
“You never forced yourself on me, you’ve never gone out of your way to hurt me or made me to do things I didn’t agree to. The worst thing you’ve ever done is not tone down the dirty talk when we’re in public and that’s nothing. You are not like them. Now say it” he ordered. Stolas looked at him in shock. That’s why the imp’s upset with him?
“B-but… I”
“Say you’re not like them” Blitz ordered. “Now!” he ordered, tightening his grip on his wrists a bit, causing the owl to wince.
“I-I’m not like th-them” Stolas stammered, confused as to what the imp was doing.
“Like you mean it” he growled, pulling the owls head closer to his.
“I’m not like them” Stolas said, a little firmer this time.
“Again. I’m not convinced” the imp told him as he let go of Stolas’ chin.
“I’m not like them.” the owl said more confidently, the imp let go of his wrists before helping him sit back up. “Now you don’t ever say or think those things ever again, you hear me?” he ordered as the owl rubbed his wrists. He frowned as the owl nodded. “I need a verbal response from you birdbrain.”
“Yes Blitzy” funny how their roles were reversed from yesterday. Blitz smirked that his lesson got through and that Stolas was using the nickname again before frowning.
“But… maybe it’s for the best if we didn’t continue to see each other” the imp told him looking away causing the owl to look at him sadly, not understanding. The imp wasn’t upset with how the owl used him, but didn’t want to be with him? “You deserve someone better, someone who won’t hurt you and makes you happy. Someone like Vassago...” The imp said.
“Ugh… not you too.” Stolas said, facepalming, the imp looked at him with confusion. “Seriously? Why does everyone think that? We’re just friends!!!” the owl demanded. (Who’s everyone?)
“But you could…” the imp started.
“Nope.”
“But he’s…”
“Nope” The owl interrupted again. “Nothing sexual, nothing romantic, just friends. We’re both happy with how our relationship is and that’s not changing” he said with a stern look. “And if you so much as think otherwise, I’ll put a lock on all horse shows and movies on all my streaming services.” He threatened Blitz’s eyes widened at that. He used all of Stolas’ streaming accounts (it was cheaper that way and the owl didn’t mind).
“Lemme guess, the password’s Via’s birthday?” he teased, he wouldn’t let the owl win that easily.
Stolas’ eyes widened for a moment before he glared again. “No” (Yes). Blitz’s eyes widened as he believed that lie. If it’s not Via’s birthday, then what could it be? Stolas’ birthday? Eris’ (Does she even have a birthday?)? Maybe it’s 1-2-3-4, like what his password for his safe was before Stolas made him change it. (Ok, getting off topic…)
“Look even if it’s not Vassago, then someone else.” the imp told the owl, looking dejectedly.
“Blitzy, I…”
“I’ll hurt you, I’ve already hurt you!” he looked up at the owl, who was giving him a stern look. Stolas opened his mouth to give him a lecture. “Don’t even think about it birdy or so help me, I’ll get the bondage gear out of the closet and have you bound and gagged until you get it through your feathered head that I’m bad for you.” the imp threatened, pointing to the closet, surprising the owl.
“You shouldn’t even want me. I’ve hurt everyone I’ve ever cared about, you included. Things will only get worse for you until it’s too late.”
“That’s not true and you know it” Stolas argued. Sure, the imp hurt him, but he wasn’t innocent either.
“Oh yeah? I ruined my relationship with Verosika so bad, well… you saw what happened at Ozzie’s.” he told the owl. “She even throws an Anti-Blitzo party every year for the people I hurt.” Well now, that sounded tacky.
“Sometimes relationships don’t work out and …” the owl started. He should know, Stella hired an assassin after he ended their marriage.
“I’m the reason Fizz lost his limbs and wouldn’t talk to me for fifteen years. My own twin sister doesn’t want anything to do with me. She turned to drugs and became an addict because of what I did.” Blitz interrupted. Why wasn’t he getting it?
“Blitz, I’m sure you …”
“I killed my mom!” he said, causing the owls eyes to widen. “I-I accidentally started a fire and it killed her.” he admitted, touching his moms’ necklace. Stolas knew that necklace was important to the imp, but never knew its sentimental meaning. “It’s how Fizz got hurt, why Barbie hates me. So, you see, I just hurt everyone I care about until they hate me. Millie and Via tolerate me for now, but Moxxie loathes me, and I know Vassago doesn’t like me. Even my own kid hates me.” he said, not looking at the owl, tears formed in his eyes. “In the end, you’ll just end up like all the others.”
“That’s not true. Your employees care about you, otherwise they wouldn’t worry about you when you’re suffering, they wouldn’t tell stories of your accomplishments. I know Vassago doesn’t hate you, he’s just overprotective of me and my Starfire.” the imp gave him a disbelieving look, the parrot told him himself that he’s hated the imp for several months now. “Trust me, you wouldn’t be here if he hated you, he just needs time.” the owl reassured. “And I know our girls love you, I can see it in their eyes.”
“But still… it’s a mat …”
“Fizz forgave you and with time, the others might as well” Stolas continued, ignoring his protests. The imp thought about this morning with Verosika, how she wished him luck with their relationship. Maybe… no! He won’t listen to Stolas; he knows how this will end! It's for the best if he ends this now.
“Will you the shut fuck up and listen???? I’m a fucking monster!!!” the imp shouted, tears threatening to fall. “I’ll only…”
“No, Blitz! You listen!!!” Stolas scolded back, grabbing his shoulders, with a stern look on his face. “Who you’re describing is not the imp I know and love. You are strong, you don’t take crap from anyone. You’re the embodiment of freedom.” He continued. “You go to great lengths for those you care about. That’s why I, why we, love you so much … you know deep down that you’re not a monster, that you’re just someone who got dealt a bad hand in life,” the owl told him, cupping his face gently.
“And I can be sure of one thing, your mother loved you and would be proud of who you are.” Stolas said with a gentle smile. His eyes widened at the owl’s statement. For years, all he’s ever heard was how he’s a failure, how he’s the reason for everyone’ s suffering, how it’s his fault she died. No one cared that it was an accident, that he tried to save her, how much he’s lost because of his mistake.
Yet here was this owl, who loves him, even after all the shit the imp put him through, whose never even met momma, telling him what he forgot. Momma wouldn’t have hated him for the fire. She would never hate the son she loved. She’d be…Ok, now he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.
Stolas held the imp close as he cried, rubbing his back in a soothing manner. His Blitzy suffered so much and didn’t believe he was worthy of love. Even if it didn’t work out with them, maybe he could convince the imp that he can let others in, that he does deserve love.
*****
Three hours later…
They spent the last few hours talking. There were some angry words and accusations, some chuckles and plenty of tears. There was trauma dumping from both ends, some concerns were discussed, and apologies made. Eventually they reached a decision on what they should do about their relationship. They both agreed this would be the best for them both.
“Are you sure? This is what you truly want?” Stolas asked him apprehensively. Blitz nodded, there was no turning back now. The imp went to where the owl’s phone was before bringing it back and handing it to him so he could have Vassago bring everyone in here while he texted Fizz to let him know what happened. Might as well get this over with and let everyone know what they decided.
<Stolas to Vassago> 9/21 17:45pm: can you bring everyone to my room please? Theres something important we need to discuss:
<Vassago to Stolas> 9/21 17:46pm: is it about the investigation? they already know we’re cleared and what would’ve happened if we failed:
<Stolas to Vassago> 9/21 17:46pm: no, it’s about me and Blitz:
<Vassago to Stolas> 9/21 17:46pm: Need me to feed him to Eros?:
<Stolas to Vassago> 9/21 17:47pm:NO!!! it’s not even a 1 and you know damn well who he’s allowed to eat:
There were only five goetia that Stolas gave permission for Vassago to feed Eros to. He hasn’t done it yet, but maybe someday, it could happen.
<Vassago to Stolas> 9/21 17:47pm: ok, just asking. If he ate Andrealphus, and threw up on Stella, do you think it would it be blue or white?:
Stolas had to smirk at the thought of the violent Venus flytrap eating his brother-in-law and vomiting all over his soon to be ex-wife.
<Stolas to Vassago> 9/21 17:48pm: I’m hoping white, we haven’t seen that yet. But we’re getting off topic, can you please have everyone come up here? :
<Vassago to Stolas> 9/21 17:48pm: sure:
Knock knock knock
That was quick, he hadn’t even set his phone down yet.
“Come in” Stolas said as the girls entered, followed by Vassago and M&M.
“Everything ok dad?” Via asked. Blitz decided he’d go first.
“As you all know, Stols and I have an arrangement of sorts and well…we have decided to end it.” Blitz told the group, who all nodded. Not really the reaction he expected. He expected gasps or protests, or at the very least, Moxxie crying.
“Instead, we have decided to start a genuine relationship.” Stolas said as he held the imp’s hand. Still nothing, not even a squeal of delight from the married couple.
“So, we’re boyfriends now.” Blitz explained as simply as possible. (Come on guys, give us something to work with)
“We know,” Millie told them matter-of-factly, causing the two on the bed to look at her in shock.
“Psst, I thought we were supposed to act like we didn’t.” Via told her.
“Oops, my bad… lemme try again… Gasp! Squeal!!! I’m so happy for you!!!” Millie tried again with as much enthusiasm as possible. Blitz just looked at her in disbelief as the others smiled at her effort.
“You... whaddya mean you know?” Blitz demanded.
“We heard you” Loona said. The two looked at her in shock.
“…h-how…?”
“Just for the record, sir, we do care…even though you can be a real pain and don’t understand the concept of privacy” Moxxie told him. (Moxxie cares… Hey, wait a second!)
“You guys were spying on us the entire time???” the imp demanded. There were some things he said that were for Stolas’ ears alone, thank you very much.
“Nnoooo… by the way, you let him do that stuff to you, dad? T.M.I.” Via told them, causing the owl to turn red with embarrassment. Moxxie and Millie snickered at his reaction. (Shit, they were listening the entire time.) Surely though, Stolas and Blitz should have heard something. There’s no way all five of them could be silent for so long… unless…
“Which one of you used a silencing spell?” Stolas asked the other two goetia suspiciously. Vassago and Via just pointed at each other, with a ‘they did it’ look on their face.
“So, what you texted … were you trying to seem like you weren’t spying?” Stolas asked his keeper.
“No, of course not… just asking” the parrot said. Stolas rolled his eyes in amusement. Of course, he was just being good ol’ Vassago.
“Well, anyway, this calls for a celebration!” Millie shouted. No one could argue with that.
*****
Meanwhile…
Oz was getting dinner ready, glad that he didn’t have to charge Stolas with treason or remove his keeper. He hated investigations, hated when he had to find someone guilty. At least he didn’t have to do that this time.
“OOOZZZZZZIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!” the sin jumped as he heard his lover scream for him, nearly cutting himself with the knife he was dicing vegetables with. He turned to see Fizz running to him.
“Froggie what’s wrong?” he asked worriedly, only for the imp to shove his phone in the sins face.
“Looklooklooklooklook!!!” he ordered with such energy the sin wondered if he drank eighteen energy drinks again. He took the phone, bringing it away from his face so he could see whatever the imp wanted him to see.
<Blitzo to Fizzarolli> 9/21 5:45pm: jst tht i let u no Stols is nw my bf :) :
<Blitzo to Fizzarolli> 9/21 5:45pm: it skrt nw. We w8 4 wen he don b vsl 2 b pblk so he dnt git invstg8d agn:
(Damn, and I thought froggies spelling was bad)
“Umm…what?” the sin asked, not really understanding what he’s reading.
“Blitz and Stolas are now boyfriends, but they’re gonna wait to go public until he’s done being a vessel, so he doesn’t get investigated again.” the imp explained happily. He figured Blitz wouldn’t mind if told Oz.
“Well, that is good news. Bout time!” he agreed. When Stolas was finished with his duties, he’ll be sure to give them a VIP experience at Ozzie’s. And he’ll make sure that they have a good experience this time. Afterall, that bird deserves a relationship with someone who won’t be abusive or creepy towards him.
*****
Meanwhile…
Andrealphus entered his palace, contemplating. The investigation turned out to find both vessel and keeper innocent. He figured Stolas would be found innocent. Afterall, it’s not like his brother-in-law to shirk his more important duties, especially when his life’s on the line. However, the fact that they found Vassago innocent really irked him. With his rival still acting as the owl’s keeper, this complicated things, especially since he was turned down the roll as replacement keeper should Vassago be found guilty. What’s more, that red bastard had evidence that Stella violated her ban. Speaking of which…
Crash… Smash… Crash…
“What do you think you’re doing?” the peacock demanded as he saw the state of his living room. The couch was ripped in half, the chandelier was on the floor, shattered into a million pieces, the coffee table was lodged into the wall. In the center of the room, holding her small butler imp in a death grip, was his sister.
“They didn’t kill him” she growled. Tightening her grip on the imp, who was now a concerning shade of purple.
“Stolas was found innocent, yes.” He didn’t question how she knew; the less he knew the better. He watched as she threw the imp in her grasp toward his tv, scowling as it shattered and electrocuted the imp. He had no sympathy for the imp (Maybe I should take payment for the tv from his paycheck) but the fact that his sister was breaking his things again.
“Stella, enough! You shouldn’t even be here... yo…” he tried to explain as he watched the imp scamper away (he better be getting something to clean up this mess).
“I let you do things your way and look what happened. He’s still fucking alive. And it gets worse!” she interrupted him as she pulled out her new phone, opening it to Octavia’s Sinstagram account and shoving the device in her brother’s face. Ever since she found out about the teens party, she decided to keep an eye on the brat, lest she does something else to disgrace her family. And of course she has.
There was a picture posted from yesterday of the owl and a grey hellhound, both appeared to be holding their breath. The scenery behind them reminded the peacock of space. There were constellations in the sky, and some plants he’s seen only in space on the ground. Neptunian anemones, Nibiru trees, comet lilies and dark matter flowers to name a few surrounded them (must be in Stolas’ greenhouse). Below the image was a caption reading: #Space gardening with my sis
“It’s bad enough that she let that mangy, nudist hellhound bite me, but now she’s calling this one her sister???” her voice got louder with each word. She didn’t recognize it was the same hellhound that bit her. In her rage, she grabbed a book, her brothers grimoire to be precise, ready to tear it to shreds.
“Enough!” Andrealphus grabbed his grimoire back from her. “Look… you’re gonna have to make yourself scarce for a while. Go to …”
“Don’t… say it” she growled out. “Don’t fucking tell me to go to that crap hole. It's in the middle of fucking nowhere!” It’s true, there were no shops, bad Wi-Fi signal and no way she could throw a party. Not now, thanks to Stolas and Vassago.
“Listen, the council knows you broke your ban. You need to lay low for a while, then once Stolas is done with…” Andrealphus tried to reason with her.
“No! We did it your way and it didn’t work. This time I’m doing it my way.” Stella told him.
“You did do it your way and now you’re a wanted woman!” He told her, seeing how she didn’t understand the severity of her actions. Her eyes widened at that before she became very angry. (Oh, I’m gonna make him pay.) “Make yourself scarce until he’s done, that will give the council time to cool down and for me to figure out how to persuade them to give you leniency again, then you can do what you want. Understand?” he told her sternly. She scowled at him.
“Fine!” she said. “You!” she pointed to Impington who was hiding behind a fake plant. “We’re leaving” she said as she roughly grabbed the imp. If she was going to suffer in exile in that dreaded vacation home, she was going to take at least one staff member with her. She opened a portal and went through.
*****
She closed the portal once she crossed the threshold, standing in the living room of the vacation home, noticing her things weren’t there. “Where are my belongings?” she demanded, bringing the imp closer to her face.
“W-well, your h-highness, they’re still at…” he began, wincing as she tightened her grip.
"Get them here now!!!” she opened a portal and threw him back into her brother’s palace. She decided to be merciful just this once and leave it open so he could bring her things through.
As she waited, she walked around the place. Like her brother’s palace, it was made of magic ice. It was half the size of Stolas’ palace (the palace that was rightfully hers, she might add.) The furniture was a little out of date, since she rarely used this place, but it did give a rather homey feel to it. She looked at the knickknacks on the fireplace mantle. This place needed a good dusting.
The last time she was here was two years ago, when Stolas and Vassago ruined her ‘He’s not dead yet’ party (celebrating the anniversary of how the owl didn’t die during the black moon ritual incident and she got away with it) with their truth serum stunt. Oh, sure, Andrealphus was responsible for spiking their drinks, but she knew they did something to it. Afterall, why else would her guests be spilling their guts while they had the audacity to act all innocent. Not only was she humiliated, but she found out others found her husband attractive. How dare he. She was the beautiful one, not that ugly twig. She grabbed a small glass figurine of a dire wolf on the mantle and threw it in anger, watching it shatter into a million pieces.
Just another transgression to add onto her ever-growing list of why he must die. He humiliated her, corrupted that brat and forced her to hide away in this dump. At least there was one good thing about this place. She smirked as she went to the master bedroom, locking the door behind her, and walked to the small bookcase on the other end of the room.
She hated reading, in fact once Stolas was gone, Octavia married off and all of their possessions rightfully hers again, the first thing she’s gonna do is remove every book from the palace and host a book burning party in her late husband’s greenhouse (once she figured out how to get back in there since he and Vassago put a magic gate up years ago, preventing her from entering). Wouldn’t that be grand? But for now, she went to the bookcase. There were several books, but she knew that they were for display, except one. Second shelf, third from the left, a thin blue book called ‘Snowflakes and Their Meaning.’ She pulled it like her grandaddy Androalphus, showed her.
Click…
By pulling the book up, instead of out, she unlocked the secret door behind the bookcase. She opened it, revealing a walk-in closet, filled with old clothes fit for royalty and a large mirror with an ornate frame that resembled a peacock with diamond eyes. She planned on using this closet for her wardrobe, but this wasn’t why she was here. If anyone figured out the bookcase trick, all they would see is this closet, just an extra place for storage, but she knew there was more to this room. She went to the mirror and covered the peacocks’ eyes with her hand.
Click…
She unlocked the second secret passage. Grandaddy was always prepared to hide what he didn’t want anyone to see. She entered the next room, revealing grandaddy's collection. Chests and boxes containing rare and powerful artifacts, forbidden tomes stacked in piles, and a large trunk filled with grandaddy's favorite ‘toys’ (no, not those kind of toys). She ignored the forbidden treasures and went straight to the wall that had her family’s emblem on it. From an outsider’s perspective, it looked like a regular wall with a faded emblem, but if you were to touch here, and move this slightly there…
Click…
The third, and final hidden door opened, revealing a winding staircase. This led to grandaddy’s biggest secret. Using a magic flame to light her way, she went down the steps, revealing a large, round, windowless room. The walls were etched with wards. Normally, one would use chalk to etch wards, but grandaddy Androalphus had them carved into the walls with adamantine. One just needed a little magic to fuel them. They would not only contain magic within this room but prevent anyone from sensing any magic in here as well. There was a heavy metal door with a small viewing hole in it on the other end of the room. Off to the side were four dragonhide chests, filled with everything one would need for rituals, potions, crystals, knives and even bindings for those not willing to help grandaddy with his ‘projects’. And the pièce de resistance was hidden in the center of the room. She lifted the loose stone in the center, taking out a small, simple pewter box. She opened it, revealing the only book she was willing to read. It was a thick, black leather book with a silver snowflake on the cover. It didn’t look all that special, in fact, one would assume it was just a diary, but Stella knew what it was: grandaddy’s personal book of forbidden spells and favorite rituals.
She flipped through the pages, taking delight as she read the titles and descriptions. There was a blood magic spell to enhance ones appearance, (that might be good, make Stolas suffer for her beauty), a spell to make ones feathers feel like they’re on fire, (she could work with that, maybe she can use it to teach Octavia a lesson as well )a spell that makes any negative thought a victim has physically harm them (I’ll have to use that on his depressed ass). There was even spell for inducing mana poisoning! (Ooohh that sounds fun!)
These spells and rituals were so detailed and simplified that she should have no problem with any of these. Good thing grandaddy was so thorough. And if they didn’t work, she could always use grandaddy’s toys upstairs. She put the book back for now and went to the door, unlocking it to reveal a small cell. There was a stone slate off to the side with a thin, ratty blanket and metal posts to make a makeshift bed. There were some bloodstains on the blanket and the slate, but that was to be expected. Grandaddy never did like cleaning, but no servant was ever allowed in here unless it was to help him with his ‘projects’. Afterall, no one was brought in here and lived to tell the tale. There was a small alcove covered with rotten straw where the test subjects could use the bathroom and a small bucket that was usually filled with water for drinking. Afterall, it was important to keep them hydrated. All in all, a perfect little prison cell.
If your husband ever gives you trouble, my sweet snowflake, you can always bring him down here and teach him a lesson.
She was pretty sure grandaddy meant it as a joke. If only he knew what she was going to do to that imp fucking cheater. She could just imagine Stolas bound in here, bleeding out and in agony, waiting for whatever activity she thought of next, begging for death. Oh yes, she will make him suffer.
Now that she was feeling better with all the things she planned on doing to that bastard, she went back up to the main room, making sure the doors were closed and locked, so as to not let the help see grandaddy’s (and now her) secrets. She went back to the living room where all her trunks were. Looks like the imp was done. “Is this it?” she asked from the butler. He nodded. “Then don’t just stand there, get unpacking!” she shouted as she closed the portal.
“B-but my lady, what about…”
“I said…Get to work!!! And make me dinner, I’m HUNGRY!!!” she grabbed before slamming the imp into her trunks. She stormed outside the vacation home until was standing on the deck, taking in her surroundings. The sun was setting over an ice-covered lake. Soft, rolling hills of snow, perfect for sledding, and burying bodies (Grandaddy always made sure his test subjects were low born no one would miss) surrounded the area. She watched a pack of dire wolves running through the hell trees, chasing a yeti. It was so natural, so serene… she hated it.
He’s the reason she’s here, out in the middle of nowhere instead of a gala with polite society or relaxing at her favorite spa, or even at her fucking palace. Well, she had a plan, now it was time to set it into motion. Stella looked around to make sure Impston (or whatever his name was, she didn’t care), wasn’t listening. She didn’t want him to warn his sister (she remembered her. That bitch, who always wore a butler’s outfit instead of a maid outfit, was one of the staff that testified against her after the black moon ritual. Stella fired her only for Vassago to hire her right off the bat) and have her warn Vassago. She’ll have to remember to take his phone and destroy it to make sure he behaves. But for now, since he was busy, she took out her phone and dialed, not noticing said butler hiding at a safe distance, spying on her.
“Are your men in position? … Excellent. You know what to do… That’s right and kill anyone that gets in your way… oh, I can assure you, do this right, and you’ll be set for life.”
She hung up before dialing him next. He did such a wonderful job last time, too bad Andrealphus convinced her to call him off. At least this time she can watch Stolas suffer. “Everything’s in place. You know what to do… no I won’t call it off this time… I paid you well, haven’t I?” she demanded as she continued talking to the person on the other line.
(This doesn’t sound good, I need to warn prince Stolas) Since the princess said his boss was still doing the ritual and he didn’t have Vassago’s number, he’ll have to contact the one person who could get ahold of the parrot. He didn’t want to message the princess. He knew prince Stolas tried his best to protect her from her mother’s wrath and quite frankly, he didn’t want to expose the child to it either. The imp took out his phone and pulled up his brother’s number.
<Impington to Pringles> 9/21 6:03pm: @ btch vacay home. She plan somethin bad 4 Stolas idk wat tho. tell Vassago 2 b ready:
He put his phone away and scampered back to the luggage before she noticed he was there. He hoped Pringles will warn Vassago about the upcoming danger and prince Stolas and princess Octavia will be ok.
Chapter 49: Truth Serum
Chapter Text
They decided to eat in the dining room tonight, a feast was to be had to celebrate the keeper and vessel being innocent as well as the new couple’s relationship. With Octavia’s permission, (the other two goetia didn’t care) they made a roast peacock dinner, with everyone helping cook in some way. Moxxie and Vassago prepared the peacock and roast vegetables with Vassago using a little bit of magic to help cook it faster. Millie and Via took care of cutting the vegetables and making mashed potatoes. Blitz made a seven-cheese macaroni and cheese (he would have put hot sauce in it, but figured everyone can put in how much they wanted later). Stolas wanted to help as well, so he and Loona sat at the table to prepare some dinner rolls from scratch.
“So, how many more messages do we have?” Loona whispered to the owl as she kneaded the dough.
“Sorry dear, but he’s gonna take my phone and not give it back if we do that again” Stolas whispered sullenly to the hellhound as he formed the rolls.
“Well, what if we used my phone to respond?” Loona asked mischievously, causing the owl to perk up at her loophole.
“Don’t even think about it you two” Blitz, overhearing them, turned to scold the pair, causing the owl to pout. Seeing his reaction, and finished cutting vegetables, Millie thought now would be a good time to show the owl what she did yesterday.
“Hey Stolas, look what I taught Eris to do!” Millie grabbed the small ball she found yesterday and tossed it to Eris. The plant dutifully caught it in her maw before shooting it to the female imp. They repeated it a few times until he got the idea.
“Oh, you taught her to play catch? How long did it take you to do that?” Stolas asked impressed.
“Yesterday!” Millie said proudly.
“Awe, you learned this in one day? You’re such a smart girl, aren’t you my sweet?” Stolas cooed, causing Eris to let out a slightly higher pitched, happy gurgle as she recognized the sound of her owner’s voice praising her, tapping her pot in a strange manner. Moxxie looked at her curiously. If he didn’t know better, she was saying ‘daddy’ in morse code.
“She knows how to juggle as well” Vassago told them, causing the imps and hellhound to look at him in disbelief.
“Nuh-uh” Blitz said in disbelief before the parrot conjured three basket balls, having them hover in the air with magic.
“Whistle… Eris!” he got the plants attention. “Juggle!” he said as he tossed the balls one by one to her. To the I.M.P. employee’s amazement, the plant caught the balls with her tentacles, tossing them up in the air one at a time, soon juggling all three balls. Millie clapped in pure entertainment seeing the trick. “Ok!” the parrot said after a while. She stopped juggling the balls, letting them roll to the floor. He tossed her one of the Peacocks innards as a treat, causing her to gurgle happily.
“Thanks for not using bowling balls this time” Stolas said.
“You mean bowling pins?” Moxxie asked curiously.
“No, he means balls.” Via explained. “She’s strong, but you don’t want something heavy being dropped. Last time she juggled bowling balls, we had holes in the floor” Via explained.
“It was one time, you guys can’t let it go, can you?” the parrot playfully scolded them.
“At least it wasn’t chainsaws” Stolas said.
“Ok, you gave her those.” Vassago scolded.
“How was I supposed to know she’d figure out how to turn them on?” Stolas defended himself.
“Why’d you give her chainsaws in the first place?” Blitz asked coming up to be near the owl.
“Because Vassago talked me out of giving her blowtorches, darling.” Stolas explained casually, causing his boyfriend to give him a ‘what the fuck’ look.
"What else can she do?” Loona asked thoroughly entertained with the birds bickering.
Via pulled out her phone and played a polka song. “Dance!” Via said. The plant started waving her tentacles and moving her bulb in beat with the song.
“So, she dances? Is it just polka?” Moxxie asked thoroughly entertained, wondering how well she would do with musicals.
“No, she’ll dance to anything, but she responds better to happy sounding music. I played death metal once and well… I had to put her in time out.” Stolas explained. Blitz looked at him in confusion. She was already in a secluded area, away from other plants. What counted as time out for her?
“Is there more?” Millie asked.
“My plant’s dead!” Stolas suddenly shouted, startling the imps at his tone. He sounded distraught.
“Stols, what the…”
He simply pointed to the Venus fly trap. Her bulb and tentacles wilted; her eyes closed. Her once white bulb was now a lifeless grey. (Eris…died?) Millie started whimpering, tears forming in her eyes as Moxxie came and held her, trying not to cry himself. Did they push her too hard? Is that why she died?
“Ok!” Stolas said. Suddenly her eyes opened as she became white and healthy again.
“What…the fuck?” Blitz asked confused. Is she a zombie now?
“She plays dead.” Vassago explained as Millie went over and rubbed her bulb, happy she was alive.
“She and Stella don’t like each other, so to prevent her from hurting Eris, we taught her to play dead when you say my plants dead like that. Always fooled Stella as well” Stolas explained. (Awe, my boyfriend’s so clever) Blitz’s eyes widened as he watched Eris swallow Millie whole. (Fuck! She ate Mils!) Why wasn’t anyone doing anything? Why wasn’t Moxxie shooting to get her out? Why was he going over there and rubbing her bulb? The plant opened her mouth slightly before Millie poked her head out, a big smile on her face.
“Awe, she’s quite a cuddler isn’t she?” Stolas said happy that the plant was behaving.
“What else can she do?” Moxxie asked as he helped his wife get out of the plant.
Turns out she can ‘sing’ (it was more beat boxing than singing), do basic math, and does know morse code (although her words were limited to imp, bird, daddy, food, cuddles, and bad). She also knows take, where she steals and hides things (Blitz did not like that one. She somehow got ahold of his keys and wouldn’t give them back. Via had to show him her ‘hiding spot’ so he could take them back), can shuffle a deck of cards, and, with the right tools and ingredients, makes amazing cocktails. Everyone except the owls got one, much to their disappointment. Instead, they were given mocktails so they wouldn’t be left out. It was hard to believe after being here for a week that none of them knew she did this. By the time she was done showing her tricks and everyone got their drink, dinner was ready.
*****
At the table, Blitz sat next to his new boyfriend (he could get used to that) ready to feed the owl. “It’s fine darling, I think I can feed myself now.” the owl insisted as he held his fork away from the imp. Although he liked the imp taking care of him, he hated being a burden to others. He wanted to start taking care of himself again.
“No, let me do it,” the imp insisted as he tried to steal the fork.
“How about this, if I’m having trouble, then you can feed me.” Stolas tried to reason.
“Sigh…fine” the imp reluctantly agreed. Stolas smiled and was about to take a bite of some vegetables when Blitz used his tail to bump the bird’s elbow, causing him to drop his fork. “Looks like you’re not strong enough to feed yourself just yet. Allow me.” Blitz said cheekily as he grabbed the fork and shoved it into the owl’s mouth. Stolas supposed he could humor his new boyfriend this once… but after tonight, he’s gonna start feeding himself.
“Awe” Moxxie cooed. Who knew his boss could be so sweet? He turned to his wife, and they started to follow his example by feeding each other. Loona faked gagged at all the lovey-dovey mushiness, causing Via to giggle.
Ping…
Vassago pulled out his phone and frowned.
<Pringles to Vassago> 9/21 19:08pm: Hey boss. Impington txt me. Stellas planning something bad 4 Stolas. idk what tho, waiting 4 him 2 respond. He says they @ her vacay hom tho. Thot I let u no:
<Vassago to Pringles> 9/21 19:09pm: thank you. please let me know when you find out more. Tell him to be safe:
<Pringles to Vassago> 9/21 19:09pm: will do:
“Pringles just messaged me. Seems Impington says Stella is planning something.” he told the group.
“Did he say what?” Stolas asked before the imp put some of his mac and cheese in his mouth. He hoped his butler was ok. Next to him, he seemed to incur Stella’s wrath the most.
“No, but apparently, she’s hiding at the vacation home. So, if needed be, at least we know where she is” Stolas nodded.
“Since when do we have a vacation home?” Via asked. This is the first time she’s heard of it.
“We don’t… she does. Her grandfather, your great grandfather, Androalphus gave it to her a long time ago.”
“Why haven’t we gone there?” Via asked.
“Stella doesn’t like others using her things even though she doesn’t like it there. Not sure why, it’s quite lovely.” Vassago said.
“It’s in the middle of nowhere in Wrath. Not really her cup of tea” Stolas explained. Vassago nodded at that.
“Wait, you both went there?” Loona asked. How’s it fair that Stolas brought Vassago and not his daughter?
“Not willingly. She held a rather… inappropriate party there two years ago. Since it was ‘in our honor’ we were forced to attend.” Vassago said with air quotes and an eyeroll. “Trust me, it wasn’t pleasant.” She threw a party… for them? And it was offensive?
“What was it? How you two are lovers or something?” Blitz teased. Stolas did say everyone thought they were a couple, despite the owl’s protest.
“It was her ‘He’s not dead yet’ party.” Vassago said everyone’s eyes widened at that.
“A… what?” Moxxie asked.
“A party…. to celebrate the ten-year anniversary of me not dying after… a ritual we had to do. One we had to do recently.” Stolas explained with a grimace.
“Are you talking about…” Loona trailed off, as the two older goetia nodded. They all understood what the ritual was.
“Are you serious?” Blitz growled. “And people actually went to it? They didn’t think that was, I dunno… inappropriate?”
“Oh no, darling, they did. Many voiced their thoughts on it, along with… other things” Stolas said, looking away, a little green in the face.
“The hell’s that supposed to mean?”
“Let’s just say there were some rather… inappropriate things said.” the parrot said.
“Really? Like what?” Millie asked curiously.
“It’s not appropriate for the table” Stolas said with Vassago nodding in agreement.
“Aww, come on dad. What happened? Tell us. Please?” Via begged, getting a collective ‘come on, tell us and please’ from the rest of the table.
“Sigh… very well…” he reluctantly agreed before turning to Vassago. “You tell it, I still can’t stomach it” he said. The parrot understood. Afterall, it involved those three.
~Flashback~
Two years ago…
They were at Stella’s vacation home. It was so serene and lovely here, Stolas would have loved to take Via here to go sledding and build snowmen when she was a child, but Stella didn’t want to share her property with them, even though she never used it herself. Even during her ban, when she had to stay away from Stolas for his rituals, she would choose to stay somewhere near civilization like her brother’s palace. But for some reason, she decided this would be the perfect place for her latest party instead of the palace. Most likely so Stolas can’t hide himself away in the library or his greenhouse or make plans with Vassago to get out of attending. This was ‘his’ surprise party after all.
On this very day ten years ago, Vassago performed a purification on Stolas. To celebrate him not dying, Stella hosted this party, and all the council members were invited. And, other than the deadly sins, all the council members showed up. The parrot and owl hated every minute of it. It was too cold (why have an outdoor party in winter at an ice mansion, he would never know) the food and drinks were terrible and those three were eyeing Stolas again. They tried going inside, wanting to warm up and look around, since this is the first time either one has been here, only for Stella to call them out rather loudly that they were abandoning their own party. So, after making a round of awkward greetings with everyone and overhearing Stella listing all her husband’s faults to some council members, Vassago and Stolas decided to just drink terrible alcohol in the corner and wait for an opportunity to leave. It would have been boring if it wasn’t for the mystery that caught their attention.
“…I still can’t figure what you did” Stolas admitted after his inspection. “Seriously, how’d you do this?” They were looking at a small planter containing a fake plant…or rather a dead, fake plant. It was an obviously fake, blue hydrangea before Vassago spat out his hors d’oeuvres in the planter (the bitch was serving parrot pâté and skewered owl. They didn’t find out until after they tasted the food). When Stolas turned to dispose of his as well, they found the fake plant grey and wilted. They checked to see if it really is fake, and it definitely was.
“I don’t even know what I did and I’m the one that did it” the parrot admitted, scratching his head in confusion as to how he killed a fake plant.
“Ah, gentlemen” they groaned silently before turning to the peacock approaching them. “What are you doing hiding in the corner? Not drinking yourselves into a stupor, I hope.” Andrealphus asked.
“Just…pondering over the décor” the owl explained. Andrealphus briefly gave the wilted plant a questioning look before pulling the owl close to him, causing Stolas to scowl.
“Ah Stolas, always with plants on your mind. You know, you should be socializing with everyone. Afterall, this party is in your honor.”
“Andrealphus, there’s this wonderful thing called personal space. I really think you should look into it” the owl said as he slipped out of his brother-in-law’s hold.
“Oh, come now dear brother-in-law. After my baby sister went through all this trouble, the least you could do is try to pretend you’re interested in something other than weeds.” The peacock scolded as he draped himself over the owl. As Stolas was trying to extract himself again, he noticed something in the peacock’s pocket.
“Get off him, Andrealphus.” Vassago scolded the peacock. It was just enough distraction for Stolas to escape the peacock’s hold.
“No need to be rude, this is a milestone party after all.” The peacock told them, causing Vassago to frown. What’s he planning? “Why don’t I get you a drink, hm? I know that Stella is going to make a toast soon” the peacock offered.
“Alright, maybe some punch. The last glass of wine I had was frozen solid,” Stolas agreed, much to the parrot’s surprise.
“Of course,” Andrealphus said as he walked away to grab some of the punch on the table instead of having a servant grab it for them. Yep, definitely planning something.
“Silver … P… two” Stolas whispered their code to Vassago.
Stella’s vacation home, poison, danger... Got it.
The parrot used his aura reading to get a better look at his rival. Thanks to his sight, he could see the peacock pull out a vial of something from his pocket, pouring its contents in one of the punch glasses. He was about ready to pick it up when Stella came over to him.
“I can’t believe none of the sins bothered to show up! After all the trouble I’ve gone to for his lanky ass…” they heard Stella complain, tuning her out as they watched the siblings. While Andrealphus was distracted, pretending to be interested in his sister’s rant, Vassago used his magic to switch the cups around.
“They’re probably just busy right now. Give it some time, at least one of them may be fashionably late. But for now, why don’t you propose a toast for your husband.” Andrealphus told her before she walked away. Andrealphus came back to them, the tainted glass in one hand and two untainted ones in the other.
ding ding ding
Everyone turned to Stella, who was clinging her glass to get everyone’s attention.
“A toast to Stolas! For surviving a purification and still being alive enough to come to my party” Stella toasted as her husband grimaced and shrunk back a bit as all eyes were on him, an obvious sign he was not comfortable with her toast. Judging by the looks of the other council members faces, they shared the owl’s discomfort. Vassago did the toast with everyone and drank the punch, making a face at the flavor. Seriously, how do you make fruit punch salty?
“So Vassago, I heard rumors you were on one of the floats for the Rio Carnival. It must have been quite exquisite” the peacock said casually.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” the parrot said. It was true, he and Stolas went to the Rio Carnival this year and, thanks to a very strong (and quite possibly spiked) cocktail, somehow got roped into being a dancer on a parade float in his natural form. Thankfully, the float and all the other dancers were dressed to look like him.
“So, you’re saying you weren’t dancing in your natural form in front of millions of humans?” the peacock asked with a smirk.
“No? Who would be dumb enough to do that?” the parrot asked raising an eyebrow. Andrealphus frowned at that before turning to the owl.
“Well Stolas? What about you?” he asked the owl.
“What about me? If you’re asking if I was at the Rio Carnival, I was hanging out with Vassago.” Stolas said. He, luckily, was still in his human disguise when he was on the parade float with the parrot. He wasn’t nearly as drunk as to revert to his true form, but enough that he wanted to dress up in those fun costumes and samba with his best friend on a giant parade float.
“Of course you were” the peacock muttered disdainfully, before pulling the owl closer to him. “We haven’t seen each other in quite some time. How've you been? You haven’t gotten yourself into any trouble recently, have you?” the peacock asked in mock concern, a smirk on his face.
“Andrealphus, we saw each other at the council meeting last weeeeeekkk!” the owl said as he removed himself from the peacock’s grasp, only to slip on a small patch of ice. Instead of falling on his back, Andrealphus caught him by the arm.
“You really are a klutz, aren’t you Stolas? Now tell me, have you done anything since we last saw each other? Any experiments with your plants or chaos in the mortal realm perhaps? Stella said you and Vassago have been acting suspiciously recently” the peacock asked.
“If you must know, we’ve been working on a surprise for my daughter.” Stolas explained as he righted himself and stood up. Octavia has been depressed lately, saying she’s giving up taxidermy because her hobby was ‘stupid’ and her projects were ‘trash’ and ‘a fucking waste of time’. Vassago suggested submitting some of her projects to several taxidermy competitions, both in hell and the mortal realm. So far, all her projects placed, and one (a turtle fighting a lizard in hand-to-hand combat in the ruins of a toy city) was even going to an international competition for teens in the human world. They were going to surprise her with her awards and take her to the international competition in two weeks.
“Oh, do tell…” the peacock asked with fake interest.
“You know, you’re asking quite a lot of unusual questions and behaving rather strangely. Are you feeling alright?” The owl asked pulling his hand back.
“Yes, I’m feeling fine,” the peacock said before giving a brief confused look. Vassago rolled his eyes, not wanting to deal with whatever his rival was planning. He just wanted to go back to solving the fake plant mystery, go home to warm up and drink good alcohol with his best friend until they forgot about this party.
“Um… right. If you’ll excuse me, Vassago and I…” Stolas started, causing the peacock to scowl.
“Ugh…Why must you always hang around him?” Andrealphus demanded, pointing to his rival, catching the pair off guard. “It’s bad enough you two fuck.”
“We don’t… sigh…why do I even bother?” Vassago asked Stolas.
“Um…we hang out cuz that’s what friends do?” Stolas explained as if he was talking to a small child. “You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re jealous, Andrealphus.” Stolas teased.
“Of course, I am!” Andrealphus said grabbing the owl’s collar, bringing him close to his face.
“Andrealphus…what’re you…?”
“You should be begging me for my attention. Instead, you continuously mock me by associating with that fucking parrot! Even after all the ways I’ve proven that I’m better, you always choose him!” he said, pointing to a bewildered Vassago before starting to shake the owl. “Get it through your fucking head Stolas! I’m twice the goetia that fucking bastard is. I’m the superior being! Not. Him!”
“Um…what?” Stolas asked, causing the peacock’s eyes to widen in realization to what he said, a blush forming on his face. He let go of the owl and took step back.
“… Oh, I get it! You’re drunk, aren’t you? There’s alcohol in the punch, isn’t there?” Vassago guessed looking at his disgusting drink. Maybe his rival spiked his drink with a strong alcohol? Wouldn’t make sense as both owl and parrot have a high alcohol tolerance.
“No, it’s a truth serum.” the peacock admitted before covering his mouth with his hand realizing what he just said.
“Gasp!!!” they heard some eavesdropping council members gasp in shock.
“Excuse me.” the peacock excused himself from the bewildered pair. It was always so entertaining to see Andrealphus make a hasty retreat. They watched him go as they heard fretting council members talking.
“The punch was spiked with truth serum?”
“Stella and Andrealphus always have bad tasting drinks. Is that why? Because they’re drugging us?!!”
“This party’s so tacky. Only someone who hasn’t gone through a purification would throw a party like this.”
“I slept with your husband!”
“I go to haunted houses on Halloween and scare people in my eldritch form because it’s fun scarring people for life”
“There’s truth serum in the drinks!”
“My outfits come from a thrift store.” (What’s happening?)
“I think the food here’s inappropriate. The guests of honor are a parrot and owl, why serve that?”
“I’m Mothman!”
“I knit clothes for underprivileged imps.”
“My grimoire has a spell on it where it talks to me, but it won’t stop nagging me… will you shut up already? I’m socializing!”
“Someone put truth serum in the food!”
“I started the Cola Wars!”
“I dye my feathers.”
“I overheard Asmodeus say he loves an imp.”
“I go to Mars to celebrate the Mars rover’s birthday with it every year!”
“I got my pool boy banned from Beelzebub’s parties.”
“I think Stella’s just jealous that Stolas is hotter than her” (Well, duh)
“My pet quieve, Fluffles, is actually a deformed miniature hellhog.”
“I stole the cake” (There was a cake?)
“I have a collection of shiny things I find on the street”
“I wanna fuck you!”
“I wanna fuck you too!” (Good for them, we all knew it would happen eventually)
“I drew a mustache on the portrait of Androalphus above the fireplace inside because he looked like he could use one”
“I wrote an erotic story based on Vassago and Stolas’ relationship called ‘Passion and Brimstone’ and it became a bestseller.” (Why???)
“I hate these kinds of parties. I hate you people. Except you, I tolerate you... for now”
“I adopt older hellhounds and hire them be my security guards to give them a better start in life”
“I made the mess in the bathroom”
The pair watched as the council started just spilling their guts, telling secrets and crimes, with two of them fucking on a table. The parrot and owl looked at each other with worry. “You don’t think…? I have two eyes” Stolas said. Ok he could lie, so he wasn’t affected by truth serum.
“I’m blue” Vassago lied. Ok, neither one was affected by Andrealphus’ truth serum. Looks like it was just good ol’ hysteria. Vassago couldn’t see his rival, so maybe he left? He did see Stella, her face a very interesting shade of red. Better keep Stolas away from her for now. He turned to watch more chaos unfold.
“I got ‘Magical Magicians’ canceled” (Fuck you)
“I disguise myself as an imp and go to hellmart just for the chaos”
“I steal free samples”
“I overheard Stella tell her brother she threw this party to make Stolas uncomfortable cuz he wore her new dress and looked better in it” Vassago looked at the owl with a questioning look.
“It looked just like my bathrobe, but smaller… I-I thought it just shrunk in the wash” the owl explained. Vassago nodded, wondering if that was a lie or not, before turning back to the chaos.
“I know what you did last summer”
“I think if Andrealphus and Vassago fucked, they’d get along” (Not happening)
“I militarize penguins in Antarctica”
“I built a sex dungeon for when I make Stolas mine” the turned to see a certain raven telling a stork and thrush. “I plan on BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP and BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP with BLEEP BLEEP to his BLEEP BLEEP with my BLEEP BLEEP BLEEEP BLEEEEEP!!!” the pair blushed as they heard Naberius’ confession. That… was something they didn’t need to know.
“When I get my hands on that sexy feathered ass, I‘m gonna BLEEP BLEEP BLEEEEP and BLEEP BLEEEP him BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP with a BLEEP BLEEP and BLEEEEEEEP!!!” Shax said as they turned to look at the owl in question. Vassago took a step in front of Stolas to try to shield him from those perverts.
“BLEEP BLEEP cloaca BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP Stolas BLEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEEP!!!” Caim, who of the three had no filter, said. (Damn, and I thought my dirty talk was graphic.)
“I think I’m gonna be sick” He turned to Stolas, who looked a little green. He watched as the owl turned and threw up on the dead fake plant. Unfortunately, the action was not unnoticed by those three.
“Oh Stolas? Your bitch wife made you come to an outdoor winter party while you’re sick? Well don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you with BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP” Caim said as they came closer.
“um… no thanks” Stolas said, hiding behind Vassago.
“Don’t worry. You don’t have to do anything. I can just BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP” Naberius said. (Where’s Asmodeus when you need him?)
“Our special little guy, even when sick, you got the magic touch” Shax said, gesturing to the planter next to them. They looked down in confusion, eyes widening in disbelief. The fake plant was somehow vibrant blue and erect, as if it were brought back to life. (Seriously, what the fuck is this thing?) “Once I nurse you back to health, we can BLEEP BLEEP BLEEEP BLEEEP!!!” The owl vomited again at the stork’s suggestion. Wow… even Vassago wouldn’t do that on his sex club nights.
“SSSSTTTTOOOLLLLAAAASSSS!!!” over the confessions of the council members and his admirers… flirting, Stella could be heard. “GET YOUR SCRAWNY ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!!” Great, the banshee’s angry and wants to take her anger out on the owl. It’s not his fault her brother spiked the punch. Vassago watched as she zoomed in on them, her face purple with fury. Surely, she wouldn’t try anything here, in front of the other members… right?
“Crap…” Vassago turned to the owl’s muttering. Stolas started trembling, his face draining of color, looking like he was about to pass out. Vassago caught him as his legs gave out.
“Stolas… are you alright sweetie?” Naberius asked as his three admirers looked at the owl with concern. This gave Vassago an idea.
“Would you three mind distracting Stella for a bit while I get him home? He’s obviously too sick to be here, but she won’t let him leave” Vassago asked. He might not trust these three alone with Stolas, but surely, they wouldn’t let the bitch harm their favorite owl, right? His admirers nodded; seems they believed the owl really is sick and Stella was making it worse. Vassago opened a portal to the owl’s palace and guided him to it. “Alright, let’s get you to bed” he told the owl, keeping up his act.
“Wait… I’m taking this with me.” Stolas said, turning to pick up the planter before walking through.
The parrot turned to the three, who were giving a questioning look toward the retreating owl. “It’s… in case he gets sick again. You know how he is, doesn’t want to give his staff more work than they already have” he lied, knowing the owl just took it to study the fake plant. Luckily the three seemed to believe him. “Remember, keep Stella distracted so he can rest” he told the three, who nodded at their assignment.
“You better take good care of him.” the raven said.
“If our Stolas isn’t better, you’ll pay” the stork threatened.
“He needs to be healthy so we can BLEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEEP!!!” the thrush said.
“Erm…right,” he crossed through the portal, closing it before throwing up at what Caim said.
~Flashback ends~
That party, of course, was a disaster. Stella was criticized for having poor taste as everyone knew Stolas wouldn’t throw that kind of party. Andrealphus somehow convinced the council that a now fired servant accidentally put the truth serum in the punch thinking it was cherry juice and he was only able to recognize it after he drank it.
For Stolas, he didn’t know what part of the next few days was worse: Stella taking her anger out on him, which resulted in some serious injuries and a three week stay with Vassago (recovering from his injuries aside, they had fun and were able to rekindle Octavia’s passion for taxidermy), Asmodeus finding out through the grapevine what Stolas’ admirers said and mailing the owl a chastity belt to protect himself (he still has it and wears it every now and then when he has to meet with those three by himself), or the fact that they couldn’t figure out what was up with that fake plant.
“Are you serious? They said that?” Blitz asked in disbelief. That was so… yikes. Not even Stolas talked that dirty. It appeared the others shared his sentiment. Moxxie covered his mouth, Millie covered her eyes. Loona sacrificed herself by covering Via’s ears, an effort that appeared to be in vain, thanks to her superior owl hearing.
“No, there was more, but that was just the tamest things they said. Like he said, it’s not appropriate for the table” Vassago explained, looking uncomfortable himself. (That’s the tame version? Shit, I already wanna wash his mouth out for what he said)
“And I appreciate you not telling them what they actually said.” Stolas thanked him. Blitz turned to the owl who was looking like he was about to throw up his dinner, and he didn’t eat much to begin way. He placed a comforting hand on Stolas.
“Well, just point them out and I’ll shoot them.” He told the owl. Stolas smiled at him.
“Thank you Blitzy, but you can’t kill them… Vassago already called dibs.” Stolas explained.
“Already know how I’m gonna do it too, just need to wait for the right time” the parrot said. (No fair)
“Um, question. Does uncle Andrealphus have a crush on you or something?” Via asked as she extracted herself from the shellshocked hellhound.
“No!” Vassago and Stolas told her simultaneously, horrified by her question.
“But… from what you…”
“Trust me Starfire, he doesn’t. He’s done things to us that say otherwise. Thing that won’t be mentioned at this table” Stolas said with a stern tone, Vassago shared the same stern look as his friend. Everyone nodded, deciding not to press.
“He does whatever he thinks would benefit him, no matter the cost” Vassago explained. “He hates me and hates the fact that Stolas is my ally. As for your father, he thinks it’s fun to try to get under his skin.” He told the younger owl.
“Well, anyway… back to the Stella matter. We’ll be prepared for whatever she does. You put up a barrier again, right?’ Blitz asked the parrot, who nodded. “Great, then we should be ok. But just to be on the safe side, we should probably do a perimeter check real quick” he told his team. They nodded in agreement, before getting up from the table, their meal finished.
“Excellent. I’ll try to find out more from Pringles. One can’t be too careful when it comes to Stella.”
“Be careful Blitzy” Stolas said.
“I always am Stols. You behave now and I’ll see you soon” the imp told his boyfriend, placing a quick kiss on his cheek before he left.
*****
They scattered to cover more ground. Millie checked the bedrooms and the north wing, Moxxie checked the East wing, the library and Stolas’ office. Loona checked the south wing and the greenhouse. while Blitz checked the west wing and… there.
He really didn’t want to go in there. Every time he went near there, it ended up with Stolas doing a ritual and getting horribly hurt, (It’s ok. He’s downstairs with Vassago and Via. He’s ok, he’s not in here) but he didn’t want his daughter or M&M to see anything with the rituals. With a shaky sigh, he opened the door to the observatory. From the light of the moon, through the glass ceiling, he could make out his surroundings.
“Vas did a pretty good job cleaning up the place.” he muttered to himself as he stepped in and looked around.
There were no wards, no etchings or candles or crystals or… anything really. There was an ornate box, but other than that, it was just an empty room. He opened the box, seeing all knives, chalk and crystals inside. Didn’t look like anyone other than a tiny imp could get in there, and even then, didn’t look like there was anyone inside. He closed the box and made his way out of the observatory. He was done and now just needed to let everyone know that his area was all clear. He pulled out his phone and opened the I.M.P. group chat.
<Blitzo to Mils, Mox and Looney> 9/21 8:12pm: Evrythng gd on wst sd:
<Mils to Blitzo, Mox and Looney> 9/21 8:12pm: North is good 2:
<Mox to Blitzo, Mils and Looney> 9/21 8:12pm: All clear on this end:
He waited a few minutes for Loona to respond, slowly making his way down the stairs he reached the bottom when he finally got her response.
<Looney to Blitzo, Mils, and Mox> 9/21 8:16pm: get yor asses 2 greenhouse. we got trouble:
Chapter 50: Battle In The Greenhouse
Chapter Text
Blitz made his way to the greenhouse, where he found the rest of his team by the entrance. Their weapons were drawn.
“What happened sweetie?” he asked his daughter, who stood growling at the entrance, ready for an attack.
“We’ve got company. I’m smelling intruders in there” she growled. (How? Theres a fucking barrier around the place.) They could figure out how they got in there later.
“Alright, let’s get these sons of bitches” Blitz said as he whipped out his gun and opened the door.
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
He barely set foot inside when he had to take cover as several guns fired at them.
“Shit! Mox, cover me!” he shouted as he fired his own gun toward the direction of the assailants.
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
The two imps fired around all them, hoping to hit their assailants. It was so dark in here right now, they could hardly see a thing.
“Gah!” they heard someone cry out in pain as one of Moxxie’s bullets hit the top of a pine tree.
Thud
A bald imp the size of Millie fell from the tree, his gun falling a few feet from him. As the assailant reached for his gun, Millie took the opportunity to cut off his arm before arm swinging her battle ax to decapitate him.
BANG BANG BANG
Bullets continued to rain down on I.M.P. as they tried to find their remaining assailant.
BANG BANG BANG…click…click…
Moxxie ran out of bullets. “Sir, cover me!” he said as he took cover behind a sturdy oak tree and reloaded his pistols.
BANG BANG…click…click…BANG
Blitz ducked for cover as he ran out of bullets himself before whipping out a shotgun. He fired at a shrub before a shark demon fell out of it, dead.
They looked around as their eyes adjusted to the dark, waiting for the next attack, cautiously lowered their weapons when no more came. They were safe…for now.
“Alright…I think that’s the last of them.’ Blitz said as he went over to the shark demon. He had a gunshot wound through his eye, the cause of his death. Blitz noticed he had sideburns and was wearing a snazzy suit. Not really something a burglar or an assassin would wear, more like a mobster now that he thought about it.
“Sniff sniff… no, I’m smelling more in here. Maybe twenty or so?” Loona said as she sniffed around her. this place was so big, who knows how many were really in here. Blitz frowned at that. Seriously, how the fuck did these people get in here? The mottled imp took out his phone. Might as well let Stolas know what happened.
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/21 8:32pm: trbl @ grnhose. Wel hndl it. u b saf. C u sn:
He pulled out another number, quickly adding it to his contacts before shooting a message.
<Blitzo to Vas> 9/21 8:33pm: trbl @ grnhose. tk car of Stols n Via, we hndl things hr:
Better let Vassago know what’s happening as well. That way, he can protect the owls if any more intruders got inside.
“I let the others know what’s up, so here’s the plan. M&M, you guys take the biomes on the left half, Looney, you and I will take the ones on the right. Be careful and try not to destroy too much in here.” They all nodded as they understood their assignment. “Alright gang. Let’s get these motherfuckers.” Blitz said as he cocked his shotgun.
*****
Moxxie and Millie decided to start with the Bioluminescent section first, as it was the closest, making their way through the glowing trees and bushes. They had a tough time being sneaky, as every step they took caused the ground to glow, every sight touch to any plant caused it to light up. there were no spores lighting the area, so at least they had some darkness to conceal them.
BOOM
The imps barely had time to jump out of the way as a grenade fell at their feet, exploding. Where did it come? “Moxxie watch out!” Millie cried out as another grenade fell near him.
BOOM
He jumped out of the way before it exploded, destroying some glowing bushes in the process.
BANG
Moxxie fired at the bush he thought the grenade came from, causing it to light up briefly. Looks like no one was hiding in there. Millie got an idea as she saw it light up. She grabbed a small rock and tossed it in a tree. It lit up, revealing nothing. “Millie!” Moxxie cried out as a grenade came at her feet.
BOOM
She tried jumping out of the way but unfortunately got caught in the explosion, knocking her into a nearby tree. Clutching her side in pain, she grabbed another nearby rock and tossed it into a shrub. It lit up, revealing the silhouette of a very small imp with a ponytail.
“Moxxie! There!” she said, pointing to the shrub. He saw where she was pointing just as the assailant was about to make a break for it.
BANG BANG BANG
He watched as the imp dodged his bullets, whipping out another grenade.
BANG…BOOM
Moxxie fired his pistols just as the assailant was about to toss grenade at him, hitting it with one of his bullets. The grenade blew up, killing the assailant and destroying a nearby tree. Moxxie aimed his pistols and looked around, waiting for another attack. After a while, the male imp ran over to his wife.
“Millie, are you ok?” he asked his wife as he checked her for injuries. She nodded, looking around sadly. About 1/3rd of the biome was destroyed. Craters in the ground, trees broken in half, and plants blown to smithereens. Such a beautiful place and it was destroyed in just a few minutes.
“Come one, let’s go. We still need to check the other areas.” Moxxie said as he helped her to her feet. He didn’t want to see the damage the intruders caused anymore either. Hopefully, once he was better, Stolas would be able to return this biome to its former glory. As they made their way to the biomes entrance, Moxxie heard something. He went grab his pistols again, only for a bulldog hellhound to pounce on him, knocking him several feet away from his wife.
“Aahh!” he cried out in pain as the hellhound bit down hard on his right arm.
“Let go of my husband!” Millie growled, ripping off a large, sturdy, glowing tree branch and whacking the hellhound as hard as she could. It knocked the bulldog off the imp, and close to the space biome. She lunged at the hellhound, headbutting him in the gut and knocking the hellhound into the space biome. She watched as his eyes bulged out, his face turning blue as he started suffocating in the biome. He tried running back to the exit, desperate for breath.
Millie, taking a deep breathe herself, dove into the biome with her branch. With as much force as one could with zero gravity, she brought the branch down on his head, knocking him out and breaking her makeshift weapon in the process. She made her way to the exit, leaving the bulldog to float and suffocate in there. As soon as she exited, she took a deep breathe. Whoever went in there, probably wouldn’t survive unless they had an oxygen tank or something and she highly doubted any of these intruders would have brought one with them.
BANG BANG BANG
She turned to the sound of gunfire, spotting her husband, who was in the middle of shoot off with two shark demons in suits. The sharks were swimming just inside the entrance to the water biome, firing rifles at Moxxie. Seeing another tree near the biome, she stealthily made her way over to it and started climbing to a sturdy branch. She whipped out her battle ax and dove in. The sharks looked up just as she swung her ax down, severing their heads from their bodies. She swam out of the biome as the water turned black with demon blood.
Millie made her way to her husband. He was a little banged up and his arm looked bad from where he was bit, but he was alive. “C'mon, let’s go” she said as she helped him up. They still needed to check the other biomes.
They were going to go to the grassland biome when they noticed the restricted area’s door was wide open. Drawing their weapons, they carefully made their way to the small building and peered inside. Moxxie’s eyes widened in horror seeing the dangerous plants inside, especially a very pissed off Eros in the center. Seems most of the plants were in a frenzy, growling and lunging toward an eyed shrub in the corner. Maybe it ate whoever was dumb enough to go in there and made the other plants jealous?
“Whoever went in there ain’t comin’ out” she told Moxxie as she simply closed the door.
Had they gone inside and taken a closer look, they would’ve seen a figure with yellow ringed eyes hiding behind the eyed shrub, protected with a forcefield, lying in wait.
*****
Meanwhile…
“Sniff Sniff…growl” Loona could smell at least three in there. She hated that biome. The stupid plants in there are jerks. But she knew she had to go in there, she could smell demons in there. She and Blitz got split up when he went into the volcano biome (she could smell someone in there, but he didn’t want her to go inside and get burned) so she couldn’t get him to go in the swamp. Might as well get it over with.
She made her way slowly in the humid biome. There were large trees with vines hanging from them, mocking the hellhound (I fucking hate vines). She could see large plants sprouting from the muddy ground, sludge and lichen on the trees and rocks. Nothing in the murky bog water, or anything that she could see anyway. She made her way across a large, fallen tree, using it as a bridge to get to the other side, when she saw the flash of a weapon.
BANG
She barely managed to dodge as a gun went off, landing on muddy ground near the water. As she tried to stop herself from slipping in the mud, a hammerhead shark demon jumped out of the murky water, mouth agape, ready to eat the hellhound. Loona ducked out of the way just in time, before latching onto his tail with her fangs and flinging him. The hammerhead landed on the ground, his teeth imbedded on the side of a tree stump that contained a ring of pink mushrooms with little yellow hearts, Cupid mushrooms. Thanks to Via’s guidebook the other day, she learned that the caps of these mushrooms released a spore if you hit them hard enough. These spores weren’t poisonous or hallucinogenic, instead they gave an aphrodisiac affect.
BANG BANG BANG
Loona tried dodging the bullets, getting near the shark, planning on using him as a shield. “Aahhh!” Loona cried out in pain as a bullet hit her right shin. She clutched her injured limb as she saw two imps approach her with sadistic grins on their faces. One imp with a missing eye, wielded a large wooden club with nails, ready to bash her head in, the other a small imp with freckles and a mullet holding a shotgun, aiming at her head.
As they approached, she saw shuffling above her. (Of course! The vines!) She remembered what Stolas told her about vines yesterday, an idea forming. She cupped her hands, as if holding something.
“Oohhh, look at this shiny rock I’ve got. It’s ssooo pretty!” she said loudly, causing her attackers to stop and look at her in confusion. She noticed the vines poke their tips out of their hiding spots in the canopy, watching her curiously. Looks like her plan was working. She pretended to throw her imaginary rock at the imps.
“Get the shiny rock!” she shouted, causing the vines to go after the imps. They picked them up, tightening their grip on their captives, poking and prodding them to try to find the shiny rock. She then grabbed the hammerhead shark demon by his eyes and yanked him off the tree stump, breaking his neck in the process and flinging his body at the vines, before she grabbed some of the Cupid mushrooms and threw them at the captives as well, watching as yellow spores surrounded the vines.
She stepped back and watched in horror as the vines became horny, tightening their grip on the imps and shark, getting very frisky. The one-eyed imp tried biting the plants, only for the vines to shove themselves down his throat before they tore him apart from the inside out. She looked away, not wanting to see what would happen to the dead shark and surviving imp. (So that’s what he meant by you don’t want to be around them when they’re horny). Loona turned and started limping out of the biome. Let the vines finish the work for her, she was done with this place.
“W-wait… don’t leave me here!” the imp with a mullet begged. Loona didn’t bother to look at him as she flipped him off before hobbling out if there. As soon as she stepped out of the biome, she caught a whiff of an unfamiliar scent nearby. Someone was in the tundra. She limped her way into the biome, figuring she could handle it.
There were mounts of snow and patches of ice everywhere. Some hardy shrubs and flowers here, some magical ice plants there and several buried underneath all the snow. Snowflakes fell from the sky, the below freezing wind pushing it around. She was thankful she had fur, otherwise she would probably have frozen in here already.
Loona slowly walked around a large pile of snow, only coming face to face with a female fish demon. Loona jumped back, getting in a fighting stance, before relaxing a bit, getting a better look at the intruder. The fish demon was just standing there, not reaching for a weapon, trying to attack or run away, nothing. Did… she freeze to death?
BANG
Someone fired at her, only to hit the frozen fish demon’s head, shattering it into a million pieces. Well, she was definitely dead now.
BANG
Loona dove into a snowbank for cover. She poked her head out of her hiding spot to get a better look at the enemy. She spotted a lanky succubus with a goatee hovering in the air, a rifle in his hand and a beagle hellhound, running to her. He was so fast that she couldn’t dodge as the beagle lunged at her, biting her side. She threw him off her, only for him to lunge again. He may have speed, but she had strength.
She managed to catch him before throwing him at the succubus. The beagle crashed into the succubus, causing them to fall onto a patch of this ice, causing it to crack. Loona recognized this spot as where she had to get her water yesterday. she dropped some shears in there yesterday and watched as they sank. Knowing how deep it was, she decided to use that to her advantage. She picked up the frozen fish demon and threw her at the cracked ice, causing it and fish demon to break. The beagle and succubus fell into the freezing water. The beagle swam to the shore only for Loona to pick him up and tear out his throat, the succubus never came back up. Ok… this area’s all cleared, now to the next.
*****
Meanwhile…
“Shit… and I though the desert was hot!” Blitz complained as he came out of the volcano biome. He found two fish demons in there, but he was able to turn them into fried fish sticks quite easily (granted, he got banged up and burned a bit a well). He thought about going into the water biome or tundra but decided against it. The water biome was near where M&M were, and the tundra was too cold. Plus, he had a job to do, but next time he goes somewhere hot, he’s getting a cooling spell from Stolas. He walked over to the cliff biome, hoping it won’t be as hot in there. Thankfully, it wasn’t. Instead, it was relatively cool and super windy. He had to hold onto the rocky surface, so he didn’t get blown away by the wind.
It was hard to breath with the high altitude. There were rocky cliffs covered with air plants and hardy shrubs. You would need to do some climbing or flying to get to different areas. Down below… he wasn’t sure what was down there, it was so high up, you could only see clouds. A sudden burst of wind pushed him a small distance away, toward the edge of a cliff. “Oh FUCK!!” he shouted as he nearly fell off the ledge and into the abyss.
FUCK…Fuck…fuck…
His curse echoed all around him. So much for the element of surprise. “Ok… just gonna step back and…” he took a step back away from the ledge.
BANG
Bang…bang…
The sound of a gunshot echoed as a bullet grazed his right shoulder. He turned around, coming face to face with a fat, bald imp and a thin, red baphomet.
BANG
Bang…bang…
The bald imp fired a shotgun at his feet, causing Blitz to fall off the cliff. Luckily, he was used to falling off things and thanks to his years at the circus, know how to save himself. he managed to catch himself on the rocky ledge. Grabbing the knife hidden in his boot with his tail, he placed it between his teeth and climbed back up. He waited near the ledge until he had an opening. He didn’t have to wait for long as the bald imp came up to the ledge, peering down to look for him. Blitz took the knife from his mouth and stabbed the imp in the gut before flinging him over the edge.
Jumping back up, he spotted the baphomet at a safer distance away. The demon looked at him in shock before he got an angry look, Blitz had an idea.
“Hey ugly! Come and get me” he taunted, wiggling his ass at the baphomet. The intruder took that challenge and charged at the mottled imp, only for Blitz to sidestep and trip him, causing him to fall off the edge.
“Yaaa-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooey!” the baphomet screamed as he plunged into the abyss.
“Huh… wonder where it goes” Blitz wondered as he peered over the edge. Well, this place is cleared, now to the next. He decided to go into the cave area next, somewhere he didn’t have to worry about falling off things. As he made his way over, he heard shuffling near him, as if someone was moving around in the plants. Blitz whipped out his gun and looked around. He didn’t see anything. He heard shuffling again and fired at a lilac bush…nothing. No cry of pain, no bodies falling out of the bush, no more movement. “Huh… must’ve been the wind.”
The caves were a large chasm that broke off into several tunnels, leading to who knows where, stalactites and stalagmites forming all around. The dark, moist area was filled with mushrooms, moss, lichen and some magical plants that looked like it would eat you in a heartbeat but were rather friendly. Blitz barely entered the mouth of the cave before something came flying at his face. He grabbed it and took a look at what he caught. Surely there were no bats in here, right?... unless it was a flying ball of moss. But it didn’t feel like moss. His eyes widened in horror as he realized what he just caught… a grenade.
“Shit!” he shouted, throwing as far as he could away from him. He was about to breathe a sigh of relief only for the grenade to come back and hit him in the face. “Crap!” he shouted as he held it in his hands. He looked where he tossed it before seeing a tall, muscular imp, standing on a ledge on his right.
Blitz tossed the grenade again at the muscular imp. The intruder, with wide eyes seeing the explosive coming at him, caught the grenade before throwing it back to the mottled imp, who once again caught it and threw it back to the other imp.
“The fuck’re you doin’, Cleatus?” Blow him up already!” a corgi hellhound appeared by the imp as the grenade was once again thrown to the mottled imp (Cleatus??? Oh, hell no). Blitz caught the grenade ready to throw it again (wait… this should’ve blown up by now). Blitz paused from his throwing took take a look at the explosive in his hand, quickly finding the reason it hasn’t blown up yet…. the pin was still in it. Glaring at the pair, he lifted it up to show them he was pulling it out before throwing it again. this time his catch partner didn’t try to catch it.
BOOM…CRASH
He scampered out of the caves as the ledge the corgi and Cleatus were on collapsed underneath them, stalactites falling from the ceiling, causing a small cave in. “Like fuck I’m getting blown up by a fucking Cleatus” Blitz said disdainfully.
“Blitz!” he turned around to the desert biome, seeing Loona near the entrance. She looked hurt.
“Looney!” he shouted running to her, before something grey and white zoomed in passed him
“Get him!” Loona shouted, pointing to the thing that ran passed him. He turned and spotted a greyhound hellhound making a break for it… heading to the palace. He pointed his fun and fired.
click…click…
Damn out of bullets. “Gah!” he shouted in frustration as he ran after the hellhound, reloading his gun in the process. (Damn, he’s fast) As he continued his chase, he noticed a familiar pair of imps coming out of the grass
“Moxxie shoot him!” he ordered as the greyhound zoomed passed the pair. Moxxie didn’t need to be told twice as he fired his pistols.
BANG BANG
The hellhound yelped in pain as a bullet hit his thigh, causing him to stop. He turned around, a bazooka in his arms taking aim at his attacker before firing.
BOOM
The imps were barely able to jump out of the way in time, avoiding being blown to smithereens, escaping with just a few burns and bruises. Blitz looked up at his employees, seeing them get up from where they landed, before turning to see the hellhound running to the palace. “Oh, hell no! You are not gonna blow up my birds, you fuckwad!” he shouted as he ran after the hellhound, ignoring his own injuries. Thanks to the bullet wound, courtesy of Moxxie, he was able to catch up to the hellhound in the kitchen.
BANG
He fired his gun at the hellhound, putting a hole through his ear. “That’s enough bitch!” Blitz said as he aimed at his target. The the hellhound stopped and turned, aiming his Bazooka at the imp.
“You fucking dare?!!” the greyhound shouted as he took a step backwards, getting closer to a certain plant, ready to blow up the imp. The imp noticed Eris’ bulb open slightly, revealing something sharp, “You dare call me the b word you fu…”
RIP… CRUNCH… GULP
Blitz’s eyes widened in horror as he saw Eris use her tentacles to rip the hellhound in half before using her sharp teeth (ones he’s felt but never seen) to take a violent bite out of the hellhound’s head and shoulders, chewing and swallowing them, similar to how Eros ate his meal. “BUUURRRPPP!!!” she let out a loud belch as the lower half of the hellhound and bazooka fell to the floor. “Yea… that’s definitely not cuddling” he said as he took a step back as she eyed him, letting out a gurgle.
“Um… good girl” he said from a safe distance before turning and running to the dining room. If that hellhound made it in here, who’s to say someone else didn’t? He went to the dining room. He needed to see if the owls and parrot were ok. “Stols? Via? Vas?” he called as he entered the dining room. no one was in here. he checked the living room as well, but they weren’t there either. Starting to panic, he pulled out his phone. He needed to know where they were, needed to know they were safe.
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/21 8:33pm: be safe Blitzy:
Looks like Stolas answered the last message he sent.
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/21 9:48pm: r u ok? ware u @?:
He waited for a moment, his heart pounding. Those intruders couldn’t have taken them. They had to be safe, they just had to be.
<Stolas to Blitzo> 9/21 9:50pm: In my office, its warded.:
He let out a sigh of relief.
<Blitzo to Stolas> 9/21 9:50pm: ok b saf:
He put his phone away and headed back to the greenhouse, ready to help his team with the rest of the intruders. He made his way to the entrance when he spotted the rest of I.M.P. coming out.
“I think we got the last of them sir” Moxxie said as he and his wife helped his daughter walk. Her leg was soaked and she looked like she was in pain.
“Oh, Looney, my poor baby” he cried as ran over to his daughter, seeing the state she was in. She scowled at him but that was it. She was too sore and tired to deal with his coddling. “Let’s get you inside sweetie.” he said as he picked her up and carried her in. She was a lot heavier than Stolas or Octavia, but he could handle it. “Can one of you text the others and let them know we’re done, and need medical attention? I’m sure Vas has something for us.” He told his employees. Millie took out her phone, pulling out Vassago’s number.
<Millie to Vassago> 9/21 9:57pm: It safe now, but we r hrt:
<Vassago to Millie> 9/21 9:58pm: go to the living room. we’ll treat you there:
“Vasago says to go into the living room, and they’ll meet us there” she told them as they went inside, heading to the specified area.
“Hang on… sniff sniff… I smell something” Loona warned. Moxxie and Millie whipped out their weapons, ready for an attack. Blitz would’ve done the same if his arms weren’t full of his daughter.
“Um… what’s that?” Moxxie asked seeing something near Eris’ pot.
“That’s the hellhound I was chasing. She was not cuddling him” Blitz said, causing his employees to look at the plant with horror, seeing just how dangerous she can be. Loona wasn’t sure if his remains were what she smelled, but then again, if Eris did this to a hellhound, she probably took care of any other intruders here. as they left the kitchen, she lost the smell. Guess the plant did take care of them. They went in the living room spotting the owls, Stolas sitting in the recliner and Via next to him.
“Oh, my! What happened?” Stolas asked worriedly, seeing their state.
“There were like twenty bastards in the greenhouse. One managed to get inside, but Eris ate him, and I don’t mean cuddle.” Blitz explained as he set his daughter down on the couch. He whipped out his gun as a portal opened nearby, only to lower it as Vassago came through, carrying two of the trunks from Stolas’ room, bringing them closer to the owl.
“Via, I want you to make some tea for everyone. Use comfrey, st john’s wort, birchwood, sanguine vine thorn, moly and raw honey.” The parrot instructed the owl. She nodded before going to the kitchen. Blitz, being the least injured of the group, decided to follow her for her protection. He didn’t want anyone to be alone right now in case there was more danger.
Vassago opened the trunk with the potions in it and handed some to Stolas. The I.M.P. employees watched as the owl meticulously mixed this and that, making different colored potions and salves. “Does anyone have any bullets in them? Poison? Blessed essence?” the parrot asked.
“I think I got a bullet lodged in me” Loona said clutching her leg. The parrot went over to her and used a magic hand to hover over her leg. Yep, there’s definitely a bullet in there, but luckily it didn’t feel like a blessed bullet. He went back to the trunks, digging until he found what he was looking for: the green elixir that he used for Stolas’ arm. he also grabbed a vial of blue liquid and a roll of bandages.
“Alright Loona, drink a little bit of this and then give it back to me” he said giving her the elixir. She did as instructed, making a face swallowing the bitter gunk. “Alright, I’ll need access to the wound” he told her. She rolled up her leggings so he could see the bullet wound. “This will sting” he warned her before pouring more of the elixir into the bullet hole. She hissed; it really did sting.
Hiss
She watched as her wound started steaming, hoping that it was supposed to do that. “Brace yourself, this will hurt.” He told her as he placed a hand over her injury and infused magic in it. She covered muzzle with one hand to stifle a scream, the other clawing the back of the couch as she tried to keep still. It really hurt. She wanted to snap or claw the parrot when she felt something come out of the hole. She watched in sickening fascination as the bullet came out, letting out a sigh as he stopped using magic now that it was removed. He then poured a blue potion in the wound. Once again, it stung. After that he hovered a magic infused hand over her wound again. This time, it didn’t hurt as bad, in fact, it felt nice. Once that was done, Vassago wrapped her leg up.
“There we go. I cast a healing spell for any broken bones. Your leg should be completely healed within a day or two” he told her. “Now was there anywhere else with bullet wounds?” he asked. The other two imps shook their heads. Vassago nodded before turning back to Loona. “Alright, let me see the other wounds. I promise they won’t hurt nearly that bad” he promised her. She reluctantly took off her shirt so he could get a better look at some bite marks she got from a shark in the desert biome.
“Alright, one of you come over here and I’ll treat your wounds.” Stolas said. Moxxie reluctantly went over to the owl, rolling up his sleeve so he could look at the bitemarks on his arm. “Hold still, this might sting a little.” Stolas told him as he applied a yellow salve on the bite wounds. The imp tried not to tear up as the salve stung his arm. The owl made quick work with him, putting salves and potions on cuts, burns, and bruises, bandaging up what he could. “Alright I’m finished.” He told the imp.
“Thanks Stolas” Moxxie thanked the owl before walking to where Vassago was treating Millie.
“Tea’s ready” Via called bringing in a tray of tea for everyone. She set it down before going over to Loona, bringing her a cup. The hellhound took a sip before making a face. “I know, but it’s supposed to help.” The owl told her.
“Blitzy let me see your wounds” Stolas called the imp over. Blitz dutifully came over to his boyfriend, taking off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves. “What happened to your arm dearest?” he asked touching a healing wound below his shoulder.
“Um… I got it a few days ago, not a big deal.” he reassured. He didn’t want the owl to know how he tried to break down the ward in the observatory to stop his purification.
“He got bit by a plant” Moxxie said as he took a sip of his tea, a content smile on his face at the flavor. He could feel the herbs doing their magic, making him feel better.
“Really? Which one?” Stolas asked curiously.
“Um… the red one in the west foyer.” he lied.
“Which one? Prudence, Steve, Lafayette, Dennis…?” Stolas started listing his plants. There were only eight red carnivorous plants in that foyer.
“Dennis. He did it…fucking Dennis” he said. if one plant was going down, it was going to be a fucking Dennis.
“I told you he’s a jerk” the parrot told Stolas as he wrapped up Millies’s torso.
“Hmm… I suppose I’ll need to move him back to the greenhouse. Hopefully he won’t try to eat the tumbleweeds again” Stolas said as he smeared a blue salve on his boyfriend’s shoulder, as well as the nearly healed wound. He didn’t want it to leave a scar.
“Speaking of the greenhouse…I’m sorry, but quite a bit of it got destroyed. They had explosives. A good chunk of the bioluminescent section got blown up and there were some landmines in the grassland area.” Millie said solemnly.
“Same with the desert” Loona said from her spot on the couch.
“The cave had a bit of an explosion as well” Blitz said as Stolas wrapped shoulder. Stolas gave a sad smile. So much of his work destroyed and he knew Stella was responsible for it.
“I see… well, we’re all alive and that’s what really matters” he said, grateful that his friends were relatively safe.
“What I want to know is how they got in there. The barrier should've prevented them from entering." The parrot said. There were very few things that could get through a barrier. Not even a displacement crystal could get break it.
“You had to take it for the investigation. Do you think they came in during then? Before you put it back up?” Millie asked.
“Perhaps…” the parrot said. That would make sense.
“Well, don’t worry. I couldn’t smell anyone else in there, so I think we’re safe.” the goetia nodded at Loona’s statement.
“I may do a quick sweep just to be on the safe side.” The parrot said before feather traveling to the greenhouse. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust I.M.P., but he wanted to make sure there wasn’t anyone left. There was an imp that was being strangled by vines, but other than that, he couldn’t see anyone. Seeing the state of the imp, it was safe to say he didn’t have long for this world. He checked the other biomes and the restricted area, using his aura reading to look inside. He frowned at the destruction but was satisfied that the threat has been dealt with.
“Alright. Looks like you took care of the threat, we should be good. I’ll let the council know what happened tonight. If it comes down to it, we may need to move to my palace. Unfortunately, we’ll need the council’s approval for the move first, lest they think Stolas is abandoning his duties” he told the group. “But for now, I think we should retire for the night. I’ll place wards on everyone’s doors for their protection.” The parrot explained.
“Good idea. Hopefully they’ll take Stella’s attack seriously” Stolas said.
*****
Later that night…
“Are you sure you’re alright darling? You did get banged up a bit.” Stolas asked worriedly for the millionth time.
“I’m fine Stols, just go to sleep.” Blitz told him. They were cuddling on the owl’s bed; the imp just wanting to sleep and not have his owl worry about him so much.
“You know I didn’t get the chance to reward you for protecting us or saving my greenhouse’ the owl said with a seductive smirk. “Perhaps I can…” he trailed off as his hand trailed down his boyfriend’s body.
“Don’t even think about it birdy” the imp scolded causing the owl to look at him in shock. “Not until I’m in that bird puss, properly fucking you. Got it?” he told the owl.
“Are you sure? I could…”
“No. Like I said, not til I can fuck you nice and rough.” He said pulling the owl closer to him.
“Alright darling… love you.” the owl said, snuggling up to the imp.
“Love you too Stols. Now go to sleep” he said as he watched the owl close his eyes, hearing soft hooting snores as the owl drifted to sleep. He smiled down at him. And to think, this morning he thought the owl didn’t want him anymore, that that was why he was ending the deal. And now look at them. Their deal was over, but that didn’t matter because now he was in a relationship with the owl. Add in the fact that the intruders were dealt with, all his friends were safe and Stolas was recovering, things could only get better from here on out.
*****
Meanwhile…
He snuck out of his hiding spot in the palace, ready to begin his part of the plan. It wasn’t much of a surprise that the rodeo clown and his little circus were here. Afterall, his patron mentioned she saw him here. Unfortunately, looks like they all made it out of the greenhouse alive. At least those grunts did their job and allowed him to sneak in undetected, even if they didn’t do their fucking job and kill at least one of the owl's hired protection.
He snuck his way through the palace, understanding that the glowing doors meant they were warded, that there were inhabitants inside. What he wouldn’t give to use these fancy rocks she gave him to break through, sneak in and slice all their throats in their sleep. It would make things easier, and he could get the main target quicker. But she gave him very specific tasks and if he wanted what she promised, then he had to go through this convoluted plan. He snuck to the door of his target, the room his patron told him about and, with the displacement crystal in hand, deactivated the ward and slipped on in.
*****
Via was sitting at her desk, a sketchpad in her hand. She couldn’t sleep, so she was trying to figure out her next taxidermy project. She already drew her idea and now, was trying to figure out how to make it work. Ever since her dream, she wanted to make him. Maybe she should use a barn owl…no, that’s too personal. Maybe a hawk or a baby penguin? Then what will she use for the horns? Perhaps small rib bones and paint black rings on them. What about getting the right coloring of the feathers?
“Damn Fluffnugget. You don’t even exist and you’re such a pain in the ass.” She muttered. With a yawn and a stretch, she got up, ready to call it a night and go to bed. As she turned, she noticed something. Her door wasn’t glowing. But…Vassago put a ward up until morning. Was he out there needing something?
She went over to the door and put her ear to it, not hearing anything. She looked through the keyhole. Nothing there either. She decided to lock the door and just to be on the safe side, move her desk and dresser to barricade it. Afterall, better safe than sorry. She had just moved her furniture in place when she suddenly felt something wrap around her arms, yanking her back before she something covered her mouth. She looked down and saw a glowing rope, (blessed rope) around her. no wonder she suddenly felt so weak. She tried to yell for help, but her cries were muffled by her makeshift gag.
She turned her head to an imp hybrid dressed as a cowboy smirking down at her before rubbing the crystal on a ring he was wearing… an Asmodean crystal. She watched in horror as a portal opened up, struggling to break free of her bindings as he dragged her through it. Soon she was in a warehouse, filled with crates and heavy machinery. She watched in horror as the portal closed behind them, trapping her here.
“It’s me. Thought I’d let you know phase one’s complete.” She heard the imp say. She turned to him, seeing he was on the phone with someone.
“Excellent. You know what to do next.” She heard a female voice on the other end of the call. (That voice…no it can’t be. She wouldn’t…)
“Yes ma’am” he hung up before turning to the owl.
“Now you be a good little girl and do what your told and you won’t get hurt too much.” He said, patting her head in a condescending manner. She tried to use her petrifying stare at him, but it didn’t work. Her magic was gone. Now she was really afraid. The imp smirked down at her as she realized she was helpless.
“Won’t work kid. Your dad tried that before too. Shame you won’t be seeing him again.” he told her before kicking her in the stomach hard enough to send her sprawling s few feet away.
“Alright, I did my part. Now you do yours” the cowboy said to someone behind her.
“Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of her.” that voice it sounded so familiar, someone she just talked to a few hours ago. (No. It can’t be him. He wouldn’t betray us. He’s my friend.) She turned her head to a group of demons, mostly sharks and imps with a few hellhounds. Some were holding makeshift weapons, some were just smirking down at her in a threatening manner and in the center, standing on a stack of crates was the one who spoke. Her eyes widened.
It was an imp dressed in a suit and a hat, smirking down at her. Other than the slightly different shade of red and the markings under his eyes in lieu of freckles, he looked just like him… like Moxxie.
Chapter 51: The Ransom
Chapter Text
BEEP…BEEP…BEEP…
Vassago groaned as his alarm went off.
Slap… slap… slap…
BEEP…BEEP… BEEP…
Without opening his eyes, he tried slapping the button of his alarm clock a few times to get it to shut off, but that didn’t work. He then felt around his nightstand until he grabbed something solid and heavy.
BEEP… BEEP…BE…SMASH SMASH SMASH
Finally, the dreaded device shut up. He dropped whatever he used to smash his alarm on the floor before reluctantly opening his eyes. The parrot wanted to sleep some more (almost went back to sleep) but knew he had to get up. He glanced at his alarm clock (or rather the first one. There were two more set at different intervals just in case this one didn’t get him up). Looks like it was smashed to smithereens. Good thing, he packed two boxes of extra alarms before he came here (this was the normal way he handled the dreaded devices. He was not much of a morning person until he had his morning tea).
Reluctantly, he got up, nearly tripping on the table lamp he used to smash his clock. The lamp was dented at the base but that was it. He might be able to fix it later, otherwise he’ll have to replace it. Vassago summoned his robe and put on his glasses. Might as well unward all the doors to let everyone out before getting his morning tea.
He unwarded his door before going out and to Moxxie and Millie’s room. This door was still warded, so that was good. He unwarded it, then went to Loona’s room next door. It looked like this door was still warded as well. He unwarded the hellhounds door before turning to Via’s room and froze. The door was unwarded. (But how? I made sure all doors were warded before I went to bed. Surely someone didn’t break in).
Knock knock knock
“Octavia?’ he called. No answer. He tried opening her door, but it wouldn’t budge, even when he used an unlocking spell. Worried, Vassagi opened a portal to her room and ran in, looking around. Her door was barricaded with her furniture, but there didn’t appear to be a struggle in here.
“Octavia? Octavia???” he called out to his goddaughter. He checked her closet, her bathroom, even under her bed. No sign of the girl. Vassago threw aside her furniture barricading her door before feather traveling to the other’s rooms, pounding on their doors.
BAM BAM BAM
“Get up! Emergency!” he shouted as he pounded on M&M’s room before going over to Loona’s door.
BAM BAM BAM
“Emergency!!!” he shouted again. Millie opened the door to her and her husband’s room, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as Loona slammed her door open, pissed off that she was awoken in such a manner.
“What the fuck Vas?” she growled. The parrot was so upset, he didn’t care she picked up her father’s nickname for him.
“Octavia’s missing! The ward to her room was broken.” Loona’s eyes widened, anger forgotten. How? She couldn’t smell anyone else in the greenhouse or in the palace. Unless…
She ran to the owl’s room and sniffed around. It was the same scent she smelled as they passed the body of the greyhound Eris ate last night. Maybe she didn’t eat them afterall. Loona ran out of the room and started sniffing around the palace while Moxxie and Millie grabbed their weapons and started their search for the missing owl as well. Vassago would have helped the search if not for the other owl in the palace. He needed to get to Stolas and make sure he was safe.
*****
Stolas woke up to the feeling of something on his chest, the sound of snoring coming from it. He opened his eyes to the sight of black and white before looking down slightly and smiling. It looked like Blitzy was using him as a pillow. He wasn’t sure he was a good pillow with his feathers all bandaged away, but if his boyfriend (Squeal! He’s my boyfriend!) thought he was comfy, then he who was he to complain?
He held out his right hand away from the imp and tried to focus some of his magic. It was still tough, but he was able to manifest a little. He smiled, happy that he could manifest his mana again. Soon he’ll be back to full health and begin scrying. Then he could get on with his life with his family and friends. He looked down at his lover and started petting his head until he opened his eyes.
“Morning darling. Did you sleep ok?” he asked as the imp sat up with a yawn.
“Mhh hmm” he nodded, looking down at the owl. “How’re you feeling?” he asked.
“Much better darling. I think I’m well enough to get out of bed and start walking around again” the owl said as he sat up, not nearly as sore as he had been. He would need to use a cane, but he should be strong enough to walk on his own again.
“You sure? You’re still hurt” the imp said with concern.
“Yes darling, I’ll be fine.” The owl reassured.
“Alright, but you push yourself too hard and I’m making sure you’re staying in bed until your well again” the imp warned.
“Oh, and how’re you gonna do that?” the owl asked mischievously. The imp smirked before pushing Stolas back down.
“Oh, I’ve got a few ideas” he said as he leaned down, ready to kiss that lovely beak.
BAM
“Stolas!” Vassago shouted as he unwarded the door and slammed it wide open, startling the pair on the bed.
“Hey Vas! Ever hear of knocking?” Blitz asked annoyed. Sure, they weren’t gonna do anything like that, but some privacy would have been appreciated.
“What’s wrong?” Stolas asked, seeing the worried look on his friend’s face.
“Octavia’s missing. Her room was unwarded and door barricaded. Everyone else is looking for her but so far, no sign of her.” Blitz and Stolas’ eyes widened. Their daughter was missing? Someone broke through the ward? Blitz grabbed his gun and phone and left to help with the search while Stolas grabbed his phone to try to contact his missing child. Surely, she had her phone with her right?
<Stolas to Octavia> 9/22 6:55am: Starfire where are you?:
<Stolas to Octavia> 9/22 6:55am: Octavia, please answer:
he tried calling her.
Burr… Burr… hey this is Via! Leave a message…Beep!”
Tears started forming in his eyes as he continued to try to get her to answer. She had to be ok. She just had to be. Soon Loona came to his door, out of breath.
“Did you find her? Please tell me she’s ok” the owl begged.
“I’m sorry…I can’t pick up her scent.” She said regretfully
*****
“How could this happen? You said you got them all! How could they get through the barrier? The wards? Why would they take her? Where would they take her?” Stolas rambled worriedly. Everyone else was standing around the bed, wondering the same thing.
“I’m sure she’s ok. She’s a tough kid. I mean she survived a day in L.A. by herself.” Blitz tried to reassure h